It's been a week, she still hasn't woken up and like I've said, I refuse to leave her side.

"Lucy, please you have to eat something" my cousin pleaded, did I mention I haven't eaten or slept. 

"Aniyo." I said, I could feel the bags under my eyes. I couldn't sleep. 

"Lucy, I'm sorry to say but I don't think she's ever gonna wake up again, you're gonna have to pull the plug on her." He told me. 

"Did you seriously just say that to me?" I looked at him his eyes looked hurt,

"Lucy we all miss her, but you're not looking so good, you haven't eaten or slept. You need to. You can't deprive yourself from those things. If you won't do it for yourself do it for Kimmy. She loves you so much and she'd want you to go on in life. It hurts everyone to see you this way." He said, I began crying 

"oppa you don't understand. I feel like a horrible mother. I didn't notice anything wrong with her and because of that I won't be able to see her grow up, I won't be able to see her go off to school, have an actual conversation with her, see her graduate, go to college, get married, have kids. I'm deprived of all that now. She could have been successful, and I won't be able to know that now I just need her to come back. I love her so much. I need her with me." I told him tears began to roll down his cheek.

"but you being miserable won't help her pass on. I bet you she has to know that you'll be okay in order for her to move on. You have to promise her that at least Lucy. She needs to know." He said, I looked at Kimmy this upset me so much.

"Kimmy" I stuttered "I'll be okay," my voice cracked "you can pass on" as soon as I said that her heart monitor went flat. I cried harder onto her bed. "Kimmy," I looked at her 

"I love you so much." I got up and kissed her cheek. The nurses and doctors began to walk in. The doctor came up to me.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." He told me I looked down.

"me too" I said I walked out with donghyun a arm around me. We got into the car and he drove me home. I didn't say anything. He didn't either. I walked in and all the boys were in the living room. And just like me I saw all of the hope of Kimmy being brought back fade away. They all got up 

"Lucy" youngmin started I shook my head and walked to my room. All of her things were still there her clothes, toys, crib. I laid on my bed. I didn't whimper anymore, the tears had just come out naturally. I sat on my bed rocking myself. I didn't even know what to say anymore. I shook my head several times my arms were cradling it. I just wanted this to all be a terrible nightmare. But it wasn't. They say you can't feel pain in your dreams. I felt pain all over. My heart was broken and it wasn't even because of a boy. The person I loved the most was gone faster than I could blink. I laid down and relaxed myself. I didn't want to sleep but I know I needed it. And soon enough I drifted. 

I shot up from my bed and saw Kimmy in her crib 

"umma!" She called out I picked her up and we both began laughing

"I won't ever let anything happen to you" I told her 

"but you did" she began talking

"Bwoh? Aniyo please Kimmy I didn't i" 

"umma you didn't take care of me well enough" she said

"Kimmy please I did I just." She began to fade away in my arms" 

"no Kimmy! Please! Don't leave! I promise I'll find out who did this! I'll make them pay!" 

"Lucy! Lucy!" I was being shaken my Donghyun, I was crying in my sleep and screaming

"oppa it was Kimmy she said I didn't take care of her well enough. I was a terrible mother" I shoved my face into my hands crying

He hugged me " Lucy it was just a bad dream. You were not a bad mother. You were great mother. And her death was not your fault" he said rubbing my back. I slowly looked up.

"oppa what time did you guys get ice cream?"  I asked him

"like around 3 why?" He asked I got up from my bed and put my shoes on.

"I'm gonna find out who did this" I said

"Lucy, look let's just tell the police and they'll figure it out alright?" 

"No." I walked out of my room and into the living room

all of the boys were there

"Lucy" he called after me

"I want them to suffer for what they did to Kimmy." I said

"Lucy, please we'll do this tomorrow. You haven't slept in a week. It's time you get some rest. I promise tomorrow we will go to the police and we'll figure this out." He told me

"Hyung is right" hyunseong said 

"it's for the best" Jeongmin added

the younger ones only nodded, their eyes were pleading.

"arraso." I took off my shoes and walked to my room. 

I slept for about 2 hours it was only 1 am. I couldn't sleep. I know I wouldn't be able too. Not with all of kimmys thins reminding me that I lost her. I walked out of my room and walked into a random door. I knew it had to either be one of the twins or minwoo because I didn't go that far to jeongmins, hyunseong, or donghyuns room. 

I slowly went up to their bed and poked on them, it was youngmin.

"oppa?" He slowly woke up" Lucy?" He said in a sleep tone 

"do you mind if I sleep with you? Jebal? I can't sleep in my room at all." I told him 

"Ne, I'll just make a bed for me on the couch" he said slowly getting up. 

"Oppa it's okay you don't have to I will" 

"ani. I'll do it" he said getting up, I didn't realize he slept in just boxers. I looked away

he grabbed a few blankets from his closet and made his bed

"mian oppa" I told him, I don't think he heard me because he plopped himself on the couch. Before I laid down I walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

"kamsahamnida" I walked back to his bed and covered myself with blankets. First night home without my daughter. I can do this. For  Kimmy.

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Sorry for all the sadness guys! Oh my god I cried so much writing this you have no idea! You'll find out soon enough who the perp is guys! Just wait and soon you'll know!

dont forget to comment guys! I'd really like to know your thoughts on all of this!