---

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo had a dream. In that dream, Jongin was by his side, caring for him and showing him all the affection, all the love that he could ever wish for. He and Jongin lived a simple life, they were happy. There were problems but they were strong and faced it together.

 

 

He was strong.

 

 

He did not give up.

 

 

It was a promise made by two lost child, both left and one forgotten by his own parents. The love they could not receive from a family, they gave each other. A love that inevitably turned into one that even time cannot erase.

 

 

But why did he give up?

 

 

Wasn’t he supposed to wait?

 

 

Maybe it was the thought that he and Jongin can meet again in the afterlife. Only this time, there is no cruel world trying to break them apart. To them who had nothing each other, they did not ask for more than to continue to have each other by their side. But why was life so cruel? Why does the world break those that are already fragile into little pieces that can’t even be touched to be put back because of its sharp shards? Why them who needed and wanted nothing but to be by each other’s side?

 

 

He feels the tears running down his face.

 

 

But would God allow him to be by Jongin’s side?

 

 

Him who let go so easily of a life that wasn’t even his to end?

 

 

He cries for even in the afterlife, he will wait and look for Jongin and pray that they once again be reconciled and there in the eternity, they will never be separated ever again.

 

Kyungsoo falls in slumber again, vivid images and emotions occur.

 

 

A tear runs down his face.

-

-

-

“Kyungsoo?”

 

The scrawny little boy who is a bit taller than him walks to his side, crouches and hugs his knees while looking at him. Kyungsoo purses his lips, brows knitted together as he tries not to cry. He shouldn’t cry. His mother told him to never cry in front of other people.

 

He doesn’t want to cry. But where is his mama? Why is she not coming back? It’s already been five nights and it is cold and he barely has anything to eat. The tall boy keeps giving him bread but he doesn’t even like bread.

 

“Don’t cry, Kyungsoo. I will wait with you until your mama returns.”

 

He doesn’t speak, only holds in the tears, the loud sob that is threatening its way out of him. Clenching his fists that he trapped between his knees, he continues to look down at the ground filled with snow.

 

It’s very cold and the small abandoned house they are staying in has weird holes on its roof and the snow is entering the place and it’s cold, very cold. Kyungsoo needs his mama, so much.

 

So much.

 

 

He clenches his teeth and he shivers. It’s really cold. Where is his mama?

 

Jongin crouches closer to Kyungsoo, visibly shivering as he begins to rub his hands together and breathing on his palm before he turns to Kyungsoo and then presses his palms on his cheeks to warm them. Kyungsoo began to frown as he stares up at the skinny boy. The skinny boy began to smile. Kyungsoo doesn’t understand. Why is the boy helping him?

 

He doesn’t get an answer, so instead he continues to stare up at the skinny boy who showed him so much kindness he doesn’t think he can ever repay.

 

And what will happen to the skinny boy when he leaves? Does he also have a mama? A home like he does?

 

Jongin continues to warm his cheeks, sometimes even rubbing Kyungsoo small hands in between his to warm them.

 

The silence is cut by the sound of Kyungsoo’s stomach growling from hunger.

 

Jongin stills, staring down at the little boy who looks away in embarrassment.

 

Kyungsoo feels so embarrassed, but he’s also very hungry. And is his mama not returning? Is his mama never returning?

 

He couldn’t control it anymore, and with those wide, sad eyes, Jongin sees the smaller boy’s precious tears fall like a gem. Jongin scampers to retrieve the small bread he saved for tonight and hands it over to Kyungsoo with his shaking hands.

 

“Here, Kyungsoo. Eat it. Don’t cry anymore.”

 

But Kyungsoo doesn’t take the bread and instead stares at it. The bread was from last morning, only about a quarter was left and he knows the skinny boy saved it for himself but here he is handing it over to him with shaking hands.

“You can have it. I’m not hungry at all,” Jongin says, smiling down at him with his chapped lips.

 

Kyungsoo sniffles once before he looks up to the taller boy, tears trailing down his cheeks unstoppably. He couldn’t even see the boy’s face anymore because of his vision swimming in dull colours of winter and sadness and the tan boy’s faint image.

 

“Liar,” his voice breaks, thick with sadness, “you didn’t eat last night and this morning. This is for you. Why are you giving it all to me?” And then he began to sob. “And you’re cold,” he said wiping his tears with the sleeve of his sweater that can barely protect him from cold. But Jongin isn’t any better. He doesn’t even have a sweater on. Jongin’s going to freeze to death already but he’s even giving away his food. “but we don’t have anywhere to stay warm. And the ahjussi hurt you,” There are few scrapes on Jongin’s knees and shoulders that could be infected and Kyungsoo knows they hurt because he saw them bleed the other night. “And my mama is never going to return.”

 

Jongin frowns as well, pursing his lips to not cry as well. He forces himself to smile at the smaller boy. “I’m okay, Kyungsoo. I’m used to this already. You just eat it, okay? I will find something to eat anyway..”

 

Kyungsoo’s sobs become louder, he keeps on wiping away his tears but they won’t stop falling. Why won’t they stop falling? Why is he crying so much? His mama would be very angry if she finds out he cried in front of another boy this much. His mama won’t ever return if he keeps crying but something inside his chest hurts so much and he can’t do anything but cry.

 

“Why are you used to this? Where is your mama? Do you not have a mama too?”

 

Jongin doesn’t answer, he didn’t want to cry but when he sees how broken the other looks, the tears uncontrollably began to fall.

 

“Now you’re crying too! I made you cry too!” Kyungsoo says, crying louder, feeling worse because of the fact that he even made the other cry. He’s the worst boy ever. Maybe this is the reason why his mama will never return to pick him up.

 

There suddenly were skinny arms wrapped around his shoulder and Kyungsoo flinches at first but when he feels hands patting him comfortingly on his back, he relaxes, although still sobbing.

Jongin’s shirt smells like dirt and something weird. It doesn’t smell nice at all but Kyungsoo could care less. He just wants to cry and cry more even though he knows that no one is going to give him what he wants.

 

He continues to cry for Jongin.

 

 

After Kyungsoo had calmed down and they’re already both snuggled close to the corner of the room, away from the roof’s hole and the cold, Jongin hands him half of the bread although it’s much larger than the one Jongin is holding.

 

 

“Then we’ll both eat something, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo is still sniffling from crying too much, trails of dried tears still on his pale cheeks, and nods his head while accepting the food with both his hands.

 

They were both munching in silence when Kyungsoo decides to speak in his small voice.

 

“Jongin?”

 

It’s the first time Kyungsoo really called him by his name and Jongin feels happy. It feels like he already has a friend.

 

“Hm?”

 

“When my mama returns…” Jongin stops chewing on his food and waits for what’s to come, for sad good byes and grateful thank yous, “will you come with me? I think.. my mama will allow you to be my friend because you’re a very nice friend.”

 

Friend… They’re already friends?

 

He grins.

 

“Of course, Kyungsoo. Wherever you want me to be, I will be. Because…we’re now friends, right?”

 

Kyungsoo nods and smiles up at him . Yes, friends.

 

 

Jongin thought he’s never seen a smile so beautiful before.

 

-

-

-

It was cold and warm at the same time. Or it could be that his hand is warm but his body is cold. He opens his eyes with difficulty, even that itself taking so much of his energy.

 

 

The room is kind of cold, the ceiling is white, and the light is blinding.

 

 

Could it be that this already is the afterlife?

 

 

His eyelids feel heavy and he feels dizzy. There’s a ringing in his head and the bright light is covering the world and it’s getting brighter and brighter.

 

 

And then it’s back to black.

-

 

-

-

-

It was summer time when Kyungsoo and Jongin were standing in front of a Television store, as they wait for the cup ramen they will share for it’s the only food they can afford for lunch, when Kyungsoo finds out about fireflies.

 

“They’re beautiful, “he says entranced.

 

“They are, especially when you see lots of them at night.” Jongin shifts the hot cup from one hand to another to not burn his hands. But he’d really rather burn his hands than to put the cup down on the floor while waiting for it to cool down. It’s Kyungsoo’s food after all. “It’s like they are stars that are dancing so close to you. So close that you can reach them and trap them between your hands.”

 

Kyungsoo looks at him, eyes glimmering wide.

 

Jongin’s breath hitched. How come Kyungsoo can make his heart beat so fast with just one look? Does Kyungsoo feel that way towards him too? Does Kyungsoo even know how much effect he has on Jongin?

 

“You’ve seen fireflies in real life?”

 

Jongin smiles, eyes fixated on the cup ramen he is holding to avoid Kyungsoo’s gaze.

 

“Yes, back in my hometown. Every summer, near the small river at Seogidong town, the fireflies come out. There are a lot of them.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes brighten up in excitement.

 

“You need to tell me more about them then! They really look beautiful!” Kyungsoo exclaims, gaze back onto the television screen with a bright smile, completely missing the sad smile that flickered onto Jongin’s face.

 

 

“I wish I could see one this summer,” Kyungsoo says, lips pursed yet still smiling.

 

 

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo and he began to smile as well. Kyungsoo’s smile can easily lighten him up. Always.

 

-

-

 

To say that Jongin was busy for an entire two weeks is an understatement. Nights were filled with the other side of the bed cold and Kyungsoo sad because he barely sees Jongin anymore. He doesn’t know what’s wrong. Jongin still acts the same when around but then he’s gone fast before he can even strike a proper conversation.

 

He really just misses his Jongin so much already.

 

The answer comes on the third week of the month, with Kyungsoo waking up before dawn to a Jongin hovering over him on bed, eyes wide as he grins down at him.

 

“Kyungsoo, rise up now. We have a busy day ahead of us.”

 

Kyungsoo sat up in confusion, completely ignoring the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach after seeing Jongin so close like that after so many days of not having him close.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

Jongin only smiles as he pulls Kyungsoo up and pushes him to their small bathroom for them to take a bath. Kyungsoo tries to turn around to properly talk to the other but Jongin continues to rub his back with the soap, then helping him with his hair as he continues to clean other parts of his body.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen when Jongin pays for the bus fee for them. ₩4750? That’s too much for them to afford! Kyungsoo turns to Jongin right after the latter takes a seat next to him.

 

“Jongin, tell me honestly, where are we going? Why are you paying so much for a bus ride?”

 

Jongin only grins at him and pulls him to rest his head on his shoulder before leaning his head on his.

 

“Just rest now, Kyungsoo. This will be an eight-hour ride.”

 

“B-but—“

 

“Shhh. I’m tired. Sleep.”

 

Kyungsoo pouts and does as he is told, hugging Jongin’s right arm and closing his eyes.

 

-

-

 

“Jongin! It’s moving! I can’t walk through this thing! I’ll fall and die!”

 

 

It’s two in the afternoon when they arrived to a place unknown to Kyungsoo. It’s a small hometown; the place is quiet and they barely see people walking around and if they do, they’re always either elders or people who wear farming clothes. Kyungsoo still can’t figure out why they are there and where they are for Jongin wouldn’t spill it out.

 

 

They had a small meal from the ones they packed, mostly of boiled eggs and cooked potatoes, under a tree in front of a wide field filled with bushes and wild flowers. Kyungsoo is barely able to drink in the beauty of the scenery because Jongin forces him up again and drags him away, telling him they still have a long way to go.

 

 

Kyungsoo did not complain about how they’ve been walking around even when the sun is scorching hot and Jongin isn’t even telling him anything about their whereabouts. The latter only explains about the wild flowers, the shrubs, the sceneries, and the stories he knows. All of this, Kyungsoo accepted with a smile because after all, anywhere is fine as long as he is with Jongin.

 

 

 

However, right now, Jongin is halfway across the rope-bridge and Kyungsoo with his shaking legs and heart beating fast in fear, could not move an inch. He has a fear of heights and right now, he is either going to stay where he is or he is going to fall off the bridge and die.

 

Jongin turns around, hands on both ropes.

 

“It’s okay, Kyungsoo. The rope is very strong; just hold on tightly to it.”

 

Kyungsoo looks so scared and he wanted to move, to come closer to Jongin, but then he gulps and he looks down and—

 

“Jongin, I swear I’m going to die!”

 

Jongin turns around, tilting his head as he stares at a really scared-looking Kyungsoo. He smiles and makes his way back to the other.

 

“You scaredy-cat. Come here, I’ll hold your hand and we’ll cross the bridge together, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo nods, heart beginning to calm down as he lets out a shaky breath.

 

 

As long as he has Jongin by his side, he will be okay. Always.

 

-

-

 

The sky bleeds in red and orange, it was beautiful. Seoul city is a very busy place that sometimes, you forget to notice beautiful things like the sky. Kyungsoo is looking up at the sky as he lets Jongin guide him, their hands locked together.

 

Kyungsoo inhales the fresh air, the cool breeze and smiles. He likes it

 

They walked and walked until they began to be somewhere really far from where people live. They finally halt in front of a ruined house and Kyungsoo stares at the place. There’s nothing in the vast land but threes and wild bushes and this—this ruined house.

 

“It’s still here..”

 

“Hmm?” Kyungsoo follows Jongin’s gaze and it fell onto the small ruined house that is barely standing. “What is?”

 

Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo’s hands and slowly, as if he’s scared, takes small steps towards the house but stops midway.

 

“This, Kyungsoo,” his voice is soft as he speaks, “was my old home.” And Kyungsoo quickly catches on the sadness in Jongin’s voice.

 

Jongin turns to him, smiling sadly with tears b in his eyes. But they never fall.

 

Kyungsoo looks at the ruined house, then to Jongin. And it feels like Kyungsoo is feeling the same nostalgic pain that had been bubbling inside Jongin’s heart. All the time they were together, it has always been about him. Jongin listens so well but only rarely shares about his own life’s story. But right now, Kyungsoo sees the house Jongin used to call home, crumbled and ruined, just like Jongin.

 

Kyungsoo cries for Jongin again.

 

-

-

 

There is another bridge, although smaller and thankfully, the path is wooden and Kyungsoo wouldn’t be too scared to walk on it. Jongin tells him they will have their meal there after he expertly lit a bonfire at the other end of the bridge to serve as their source of light. It was dim but it proves enough for them to see their surroundings, each other.

 

It turns out Jongin had brought him back to his hometown and also the reason why he’s too busy for the past couple of weeks was that because he was trying to earn enough money for their fares. Kyungsoo thanks him with a hug and a kiss on the cheeks (Kyungsoo was thankful it is dim enough for Jongin to not see the blush on his cheeks), promising him he’ll do something for Jongin as well in the future. Jongin dismisses the thought, saying there is no need for repayment for having Kyungsoo by his side is enough. They smile sheepishly at each other before erupting in a fit of giggles and blushing cheeks.

 

They ate by each other’s side, and Kyungsoo listens as Jongin tells him about his childhood memories in this place. Jongin tells him about his mother and his sisters; their simple yet very beautiful memories, memories that Jongin will always treasure, memories before the fire that ruined his home, taking away his own family. Jongin tells him about how he had blamed the accident to himself for so long, and he could not get over it, he should have been there as well if he had not gone out to play. For so long he had wanted to end his life, but he was just a kid, scared and alone.

 

Kyungsoo was near to crying again but Jongin stops him, threatening him that he would cry as well if Kyungsoo sheds as much as a single tear. Kyungsoo holds his tears in because he doesn’t want Jongin to cry. Kyungsoo’s heart breaks for Jongin and he wishes he can heal Jongin’s tattered heart with his instead.

 

But then his heart is equally tattered and what good is it anymore?

 

 

 

They have their arms crossed underneath their head as they lay on the middle of the wooden bridge, looking up at the stars, counting like fools even though they know they can never really count all of them, laughing at silly memories they have made together, and holding back the tears at the sad ones.

 

“This,” Jongin says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “is when they all start coming out.”

 

 

Kyungsoo pushes himself up as well. “What does?”

 

 

And then he sees it, one spark of light and then another, and another and Kyungsoo’s heart flutter in happiness.

 

 

Fireflies. He’s seeing fireflies.

 

 

Kyungsoo sat up, watching in awe at the beauty of little stars dancing around him, lights flickering beautifully. Kyungsoo turns to Jongin and the latter sat up as well, smiling sheepishly as he rubs his nape.

 

“Because you said you want to see one someday and.. well.. I—” But Jongin couldn’t finish what he wants to say because Kyungsoo hugs him tightly, squealing in happiness.

 

Jongin chuckles. He knew Kyungsoo would be glad about seeing fireflies but not this glad.

 

 

“Thank you!”

 

 

And the world stops, he thinks the fireflies stilled, his breath hitched, his eyes widen, because Kyungsoo’s lips were on his. It was there for a second and gone in another but he felt it. He knew it happened.

 

 

Their first kiss.

 

 

Jongin stayed stunned for a minute or two as Kyungsoo stares with a wide smile at the dancing fireflies. They were even beautiful to look at in person than in a television screen. Jongin was too preoccupied trying to confirm in his head that Kyungsoo really kissed him to even realize that Kyungsoo wobbled when he stands up, his heart beating too fast that he needed to get away from Jongin to calm his own heart.

 

They start catching fireflies in their hands, laughing and trying to compare who can catch more. Of course, with his bigger hands, Jongin always wins and Kyungsoo pouts but then Jongin gives them to him and they both watch as Kyungsoo lets go of the fireflies, as they fly up to the sky.

 

 

Their smile never leaves their face and Jongin watches Kyungsoo count fireflies and let go of them once he catches them, enjoying himself as he does so. Jongin does the same, but this time, he lets go of the fireflies just like he lets the memories go, the memories that had kept him imprisoned and he smiles because those memories, he can replace with the ones he will make with Kyungsoo.

 

I love you, he mouths, looking at Kyungsoo.

               

-

                -
 

“Jongin?”

 

Tired from running around and playing with the fireflies, Jongin and Kyungsoo went to lay back down on the center of the wooden bridge, this time Kyungsoo uses Jongin’s left arm as a pillow. There are as fireflies circling together above them and Jongin smiles.

 

 

“Hm?”

 

 

Kyungsoo turns to face him, hands clasped together between them as he snuggles close to him.

 

 

“Thank you so much for today.”

 

 

Jongin inhales, remembering the painful memories and replacing it with the ones with Kyungsoo. He turns to face Kyungsoo as well and wraps his other arm around Kyungsoo’s waist to pull him closer.

 

 

“Thank you too.. for coming into my life.” He seals it with a kiss on top of Kyungsoo’s head.

 

 

Jongin doesn’t see it but Kyungsoo mouths on his chest:  I love you, Jongin.

 

 

They laid there for a while, arms around each other and legs tangled together, smiles apparent on their faces, and hearts beating as one.

 

Fireflies circle around them, witnessing love and sealing it for an eternity.

 

-

-

-

Kyungsoo opens his eyes to the blaring light and he blinks his eyes painstakingly one after another, his vision finally focusing to what seems like a… fluorescent bulb?

 

 

Where am I?

 

 

He feels something warm on his left.. hand?

 

 

He wants to turn his head to look but he can’t. He feels dizzy, restrained.. numb.

 

 

“Kyungsoo…”

 

 

Once when Kyungsoo was lucky enough to have a part-time job as a librarian, he became engrossed with reading books. Library works are his favourite; he earns money while he de can do his favourite past time which is reading. He only had to stop two years ago because although he enjoyed the job, it isn’t a high-paying one and it couldn’t help much with covering Jongin’s medical expenses.

 He had read once in a book that each person has different rise and fall, different decibel, different tone in every person. The book had told him that a person truly in love with the voice’s owner can recognize that voice, no matter how loud or how low the voice is. Because not only the ears can hear, the heart as well listens and beats, responding to the one who captured it.

 

 

Kyungsoo thinks he’s hallucinating already. Or maybe this is his punishment, for doing something grave, for ending a life that isn’t his to end, for breaking a promise that was supposed to be kept forever. For giving up on his Jongin.

 

 

“Kyungsoo..” The voice calls again and it sounds so real, like Jongin really is there. Kyungsoo wants to turn his face, look at where the voice was from, hoping that there really could be his Jongin calling for him but he couldn’t move. He’s stuck and he wants to say something, he tries to open his mouth but he can’t so instead his vision blurs again.

 

He closes his eyes, once, twice, and then firmly.

 

It feels like he’s back to that cold winter, alone in the streets, paralyzed with fear and feeling hopeless. That time, his world is covered with white snow and filed with people and places he doesn’t know. He sees many familiar faces but he feels immensely alone. Just like right now. The only difference is that he’s feeling cold in the inside and… there is no Jongin to stay by his side anymore.

 

People make mistakes no matter how much they detest committing one. No matter how big or small the mistake is, regrets will soon follow after, eating your soul and reminding you of it over and over again. It’s unfortunate how regrets only come after you have done the deed, when it’s only too late do you realize that you have a made mistake.

 

Giving up on a life he promised Jongin is a mistake that Kyungsoo had made. He regretted it, he did, the moment his feet felt no ground beneath it and he feels himself falling, and falling. No matter how much he wanted to turn back time, he cannot, he cannot pull himself back up to the lift. In that moment he was falling, he felt so scared because dying means not being able to see Jongin again, even just a glimpse, even if Jongin never answers to his calls. He wanted to turn back the time and run to Jongin’s side but he couldn’t anymore. He was falling fast.

 

Why did he give up so easily like that?

 

Kyungsoo’s lets the tears spill because although he couldn’t feel his body, he feels his insides are shattering to pieces.

 

 

“You’re finally awake..”

 

And this time around he feels warmness enveloping his left hand again. And the voice sounded so close, like the person who owns the voice is really there.

 

 

He hears the scraping of a chair against tiled floor and then he’s standing there.

 

Their eyes met…

 

 

And just like the first time when they first met, Kyungsoo cried for Jongin.

 

 

-

-

-

-

 

 

The autumn breeze is cooler and dryer, but still pleasantly warm than the last time he remembers it. Closing his eyes, Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.

 

“You’ve always liked the autumn season..”

 

A man beside Kyungsoo leans back on the bench and smiles at him. Kyungsoo felt the smile in the person’s voice and he turned to him to smile and nod.

 

He does. He loved the autumn season because it was the most convenient season for him and Jongin. Not too hot but not too cold as well, just enough for them to feel comfortable in their home that does not provide heater or air conditioning. He also missed the times he and Jongin would walk in the streets, buying Korean pears when they can and eating roasted chestnuts and gingko nuts as they walk hand in hand. Those events were simple yet they never fail to make his heart flutter in happiness.

 

“It might turn cold later though if you’d stay here for long. I’ll leave my coat here, use it later, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo looks up at the man who stood in front of him and wonders what good has he ever done to receive this much affection from this person even though he could never reciprocate his feelings. How much is this person hurting already? Kyungsoo wants to ask but he could not find his voice at the moment.

 

“If you want to go back, just dial my number okay? I’ll be here right away. I’ll go take care of some things in the lobby.”

 

The man smiles at him and Kyungsoo wonders why did he never notice that smile? Such a beautiful smile he ignored for a long time. He’s glad though that the smile is still there.

 

Kyungsoo smiles back, making the man’s heart beat fast. This is the third time Kyungsoo smiles at him and he could not help but stare in awe. For so many years he waited for that smile to be directed to him. It finally happens and he feels happy but sad at the same time. Smiling once again, Joonmyun bends down and cups Kyungsoo’s right cheek with a hand and caresses it so lovingly. He withdraws his hand before he could not stop himself and do more. He knows there is still a boundary he should not be crossing.

 

He takes a step to the side to walk back inside the hospital but was stopped by a tug on his sleeve. He looks at it then to the man he’s been in love with, looking at him so gratefully.

 

“Thank you..”

 

The voice was gentle and small and Joonmyun smiles. “You’re welcome, Kyungsoo.”

 

He thought the smaller would let go by now but he does not, only tightens his hold onto his sleeve.

 

“Really, thank you so much… Joonmyun hyung.”

 

Rejection was something Joonmyun has already  accepted from months ago. He knew that his love will forever stay unrequited and he will never gain from these things he has been doing. However, right now.. as Kyungsoo’s voice calling his name echo in his head over and over again, Joonmyun feels the pitter-patter of his heart, uncontrollably increasing, and he smiles because this is more than enough. He cannot have Kyungsoo’s heart but just being acknowledged by the latter makes him happy.

 

“It’s the first time you called me ‘Hyung’ without me telling you to do so… It sounds nice.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes fell downcast, an apology ready to slip out of his lips but Joonmyun was fast to stop it. Joonmyun rests his hand, slightly touching the top of his head.

 

“I’d be happy if you could keep calling me that instead.”

 

Kyungsoo looks up again and he doesn’t know how to respond to the smile on Joonmyun’s face. The other withdraws his hand and reminds to call him again before turning to leave.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo exhales and looks up at the night sky. There are many stars tonight and he smiles, remembering the time Jongin worked so hard for them to get to see stars up close, dancing around them, and catching them. He wishes they could go back to that place again. Feeling nostalgic, Kyungsoo sadly smiles up to the sky because he can’t go back to Jongin’s hometown again.

 

He wishes he can. How happy he would be to be back to that place with Jongin, just him and Jongin and the stars dancing so beautifully around them.

 

“I wish we can go back to Seogidong and see the fireflies again..”

 

Frowning, Kyungsoo turns to the man who’s also looking up at the night sky.

 

“You know we can’t..”

 

The man looks at him and grins. Kyungsoo misses that grin.. and those eyes.. and his cheeks.. and just.. him.

 

“Why not?”

 

 

Kyungsoo sighs, hands falling to hold onto the wheels of his wheelchair. “You know why I can’t.”

 

The man moves to capture his left hand in his and Kyungsoo smiles at the warmth it gives him.

 

“I can still be your hands and your feet. I’ll bring you there myself.”

 

Kyungsoo laughs and lightly tugs at the man’s hand. “What a bluff. You couldn’t even get here without the help of Joonmyun hyung or a nurse.”

 

The latter laughs as well, more like cackles because that’s how Jongin laughs. He cackles before he really laughs the normal way and it’s near impossible to ignore and not remember his laugh. Kyungsoo’s heart dances along with the butterflies in his chest. He feels so happy that he thinks his heart would explode already.

 

“True,” Jongin starts to move impossibly closer to him that Kyungsoo needed to draw back a little. “But wait a couple of days and I’ll be good and stronger than any of those nurses.” Jongin draws back quickly after pecking him on the lips.

 

Kyungsoo eyes widen in shock.

 

“Hey! You can’t just do that out of a sudden!”

 

Jongin muffles his laugh by covering his mouth with the sleeve of his hospital patient gown.

 

“And why not? When you’ve been doing that for three years while I’m asleep?”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen even more, cheeks tinged with pink.

 

How did Jongin know? Was he conscious all those times?

 

“Tch. The ahjumma on the bed next to mine told me so much about you,” Jongin says, and reaches to lightly pinch Kyungsoo’s now pink cheeks.

 

“O-oh..” Kyungsoo murmurs, avoiding Jongin’s gaze.

 

But then he’s being pulled into a hug, firm and warm. Kyungsoo also misses the hugs they shared.

 

“Thank you,” Jongin whispers in his ear and Kyungsoo could hear the crack of his voice, as if supressing a sob, “for waiting for me.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t cry for Jongin this time. He smiles because the butterflies have exploded in his chest and the hug is warm and Jongin is in his arms and he is happy and this is home.

 

 

Kyungsoo smiles.

 

 

Home is where Jongin is.

 

 

 

 

 

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A u t h o r ' s N o t e

It’s done. It’s finally dooone! This is the first ever chaptered KaiSoo story I finished and I feel so happy omg. After a year of not updating this story because it was so sad and I didn’t want it to end because someone was originally supposed to die and I wanted him to die but in the end I was able to convince myself to not kill him (after a year omg). I’m sorry for all the readers who I’ve let down. I hope you do like this though. I even cried writing the kid Kaisoo part HUHU so that made me happy because I cried lol. I hope I was able to properly convey my sad feelings that time with my words though ( DID IT???). I think this turned out better than the original ending I planned *withCOUGHsomeoneCOUGHdying* and I feel happy for the happy ending. I'm glad I didn't let anyone die. TT v TT

 

Please comment/upvote and tell me, TELL ME ALL YOUR FEELS. MAKE ME FEEL HOW YOU FEEL AS WELL  ;; v ;;

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-M i r a