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Kyungsoo pauses and stares at the snow falling outside the glass window, wondering if Jongin would recover before the winter ends.

Jongin likes the winter.

No matter how cold it is or how he doesn’t have enough clothing to warm him or their apartment being cold because they could not afford a heater and could only rely on their small fireplace that they made on their own.

Jongin likes playing outside while the snow is falling.

No matter how old he already is. They never really know how old they actually really are.

“Kyungsoo?”

He flinches and with eyes wide open, he faces the person who calls him.

“Good morning, Sir.”

Kyungsoo stands up and bows down at his employer who is warmly smiling at him with a mug in hand.

“You should rest sometimes Kyungsoo. Here. This is for you.”, his employer says as he hands him the cup which turned out to be a cup of hot chocolate. Something he could never afford with his money.

“Y-You don’t need to, sir.”, he stares at the steam emitted by the hot beverage.

“No, Kyungsoo. Drink it to warm yourself up. You look so pale and weak. Maybe it’s better if you take some time off first?”

Kyungsoo frantically shakes his head with his eyes widening even more. “No sir! I’m okay sir! I-I don’t need to take some time off! I’m completely fine, Sir!”

His employer’s brows were knitted as he looks down at Kyungsoo.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes sir!”, Kyungsoo answered too fast, afraid his employer might really make him stop working for days. He could not do that. He understands Mr. Kim’s intention but he could not afford to take a break because it would only mean he wasted time when he could’ve earned money for Jongin. He needs money for Jongin.

His employer opens his mouth to say something but purses it and nods his head.

“Okay. Just be sure to take care of yourself, Kyungsoo.”

“Y-yes, Sir Kim. Thank you sir.”, he bows again.

“I keep on telling you to just call me Joonmyun Hyung. I’d prefer that much more, Kyungsoo.”

He looks up at his employer and lowers his gaze after a short while.

“Y-yes si—Joonmyun Hyung..”

His employer smiles warmly at him before walking back to his office. Kyungsoo follows him with his gaze. He could not understand how Mr. Kim is this kind and how much he takes care of his employees.

Mr. Kim has always been nice to him. Though he appreciates this kindness he receives, he never gets used to it. He will never get used to the kindness shown to him by everyone or anyone. He will never get used to the help he receives from anyone. He had lived his life depending and only believing in Jongin. All his life, it was Jongin who helped him, who was always around him, who loved him.

For him, there is only Jongin.

All he needs and wants is Jongin.

Was. Is. And will always be.

It was on a winter day. Little Kyungsoo woke up in the cold street of an alley somewhere in Seoul. It was cold. Very cold. The thin layers of pajamas and hooded jacket was not enough to warm little Kyungsoo as he stares at his surrounding with his round eyes open wide. His lips were quivering in cold as he walks to the corner of the alley and sits down to hug his knees.

His eyes were teary. He doesn’t know what was happening. He doesn’t know why he’s in the streets. He doesn’t know where his mama is. He doesn’t where he is.

Little Kyungsoo, with his face becoming paler and face red from the exposure to the cold, quietly waits for his mama to come back for him. His eyes were b with unshed tears that he has been keeping in.

He will not cry. His mama hates it when he cries. He will be a good boy and patiently wait for his mama to come back for him. His stomach is already painful as he does not remember having a meal the day before that. It’s not that his mama did not feed him. It’s that he forgot to ask for food.

'Maybe that’s why mama forgot to come back for me? Maybe because mama is out to buy me some food?'

Little Kyungsoo waited even more as he squeezes his little body at the corner of the building, desperate for something to at least give him  what little warmth he can have or cover from the cold wind blowing. He does not want to leave that place because what if his mama looks for him? He is sure his mama will go back to that place. He should not leave. He should not.

He clenches his stomach as the pain from too much hunger increases.

Kyungsoo waited. He was sure his mama will go back for him. But it is already getting dark and it is really cold and he is very hungry and he is alone. He stares at the direction where busy people pass by, not even taking a single glance of him as he was just a small bundle hidden at the corner of the alley, freezing, trembling on his own.

It was when the first snow falls that Kyungsoo looks up.

Snow.

It was snowing. The snow reminded him of that time when his mama let him sit on her lap. He was so filled with joy at that time. His mama never let her sit on her lap, or hug her, or kiss her. But that day, when the first snow falls, his mama hugged her and hummed a song for him. He could not forget the beautiful voice of her mama. He could not forget that hug—or how his mama smells like.

His mama smells like the things in the little bottle filled with little white oblong candies that his mama prohibited him from touching. His mama said they taste horrible.

Tears sprang down his small cheeks as he stares at the snow falling.

'Did mama forgot about me?' Little Kyungsoo starts sobbing, his little fists reach up to wipe away his tears.

 It was then that the metal door on the side of the alley flung open. A fat, scary looking man in white clothes carrying a skinny little boy by the collar came into view. Kyungsoo got scared so he kept quiet. The man didn’t notice him. The scary-looking man throws the skinny boy out after shouting at him to not try to enter their kitchen ever again. The skinny boy kept quiet and laid still on the cold floor as the man kicks him once in the stomach before getting back inside the building and it made little Kyungsoo flinch.

Little Kyungsoo stopped sobbing although tears still streams down his cheeks. He was staring at the skinny boy as he sits up, wiping the trail of blood on his chin. Little Kyungsoo’s sobs turned to short gasping sounds and it made the skinny boy look at him.

Their eyes met.

The skinny boy has cat-like eyes, Kyungsoo noted. He has always wanted to have a pet cat but his mama does not like pets so he did not ask for one. The skinny boy stared at him for a full minute before he stood up and slowly walked towards him.

Still hugging his knees, Kyungsoo looks up at the skinny boy who is now standing directly in front of him. The boy was taller than Kyungsoo although much skinnier than him.

No words were spoken.

 The skinny boy blinks before he sat beside Kyungsoo. Close enough for Kyungsoo to feel the warmth emitting from his body. Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath.

The skinny boy stares at him and Kyungsoo looks back at the boy, curiously. It was then that his stomach growls again in hunger.

Kyungsoo looks down at his stomach and clenches it, his cheeks flushing in embarassment.

The skinny boy took out a piece of bread from his pocket. Kyungsoo stared at the bread. The skinny boy breaks the bread into half and hands one half to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo stares at the food being offered to him, then to the skinny boy. The skinny boy’s lips curved up and that’s when he slowly, with his small hands, reached for the bread.

They stayed silent as they munch on the small piece of bread in their hands.

“How old are you?”

That was the first sentence he heard from the skinny boy. Kyungsoo looks at the boy next to him.

 How old is he?

Kyungsoo does not know how old he is. Not because his mom did not tell him. It’s because he never asked. No one asked.

“I don’t know..”, his voice was raspy due to the cold and for crying.

The boy looks at him.

“My name is Jongin.”

Kyungsoo looks back at the boy. He contemplates if he should tell the boy his name too. His mama said he should not talk to just anyone.

But the boy smiled at him. And also gave him food. Doesn’t that mean the boy is not just an anyone?

 “K-Kyungsoo..”, came the soft whisper from him.

The skinny boy—Jongin only nodded and scooted closer to him. It wasn’t something that Kyungsoo is used to. He was never this close to another boy before. He was always inside their little apartment. He only usually sees the little kids outside their window. Their broken glass window.

He doesn’t know if he should allow this or if he is safe or if his mama would allow this. But the warmth they are sharing makes Kyungsoo feel at ease, as if he’s safe. As if he’ll be okay.

Jongin keeps silent as he stares at the snow falling. Kyungsoo does the same. He was wondering why the boy stayed beside him. It’s already dark yet the boy stayed beside him, not saying a single word.

But Little Kyungsoo feels secured. At least he is not alone anymore.

That night, two little boys stayed in an open alley. One of the boys waiting for his mother to come back for him. The other wanting to keep the other’s company.

Jongin stayed beside Kyungsoo. He waited with him. He watched as the boy with huge puffy eyes stayed quiet although tears continually flow down his pale cheeks. He watched as the boy sniffles and quickly wipes his tears away. Somehow, he thinks he can feel the sadness that the little boy is feeling. It makes him want to stay with the boy, to secure him, and to see his smile.

- - -

Kyungsoo has been refusing Jongin’s offer for them to go to his place to shelter them from the snow and not freeze to death.

Kyungsoo refused so many times.

 He does not understand why the skinny boy still wants to stay with him. It was only when he sees the skinny boy trembling in the cold that he accepts the offer after being promised that they will come back very early the next day. He cannot miss his mama when she comes back for him.

The next day, they waited on the same alley.

And the next day after that.

And the next days after that.

His mama never came back for him.

Five years after that day, Kyungsoo is walking beside Jongin. Their fingers locked together as they walk towards the snow man they built the other day. He and Jongin like playing snow balls.

Jongin likes the winter. He likes playing with the snow. Kyungsoo does not know what the particular reason is, but seeing the smile in Jongin’s face and hearing his laughter when they play with the snow balls is enough for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo did not forget the day he was left by his mama. What he did forget was how his mama looks like, how her voice sounds like, or how she smells like.

All that he remembers is that on that day, he met the only person he needs in his life. The person who completes him. The person who stayed with him.

 Jongin.

Jongin was always there for Kyungsoo. Loving him, caring for him. Kyungsoo could not even begin to imagine how his life would have been if Jongin didn’t approach him on that winter.

How horrible it could have been.

They both lived simply. Jongin takes two different jobs while Kyungsoo could only take one. There weren’t a lot of job available for them because one, they were uneducated. Two, there were underage.

Living their life was not easy at all. They have to juggle their time to make sure they earn enough money for their living expenses and to avoid the authorities to go after them. They don’t want to be sent to an orphanage. They know they could be separated if one of them gets adopted.

Kyungsoo does not want to be separated from Jongin. Jongin could not live his life without Kyungsoo.

It was a mutual understanding.

Those three sweet words need not be said as they lived their life every day. The smiles they shared, the laugh, the warmth, and the hugs were enough.

Their hearts flutter together as they whisper their ‘I love you’ when the other isn’t aware or listening.

At such a young age, as they struggle to survive together with their hands linked together, they were not aware of something strong they have discovered.

Something that could affect their lives forever.

They were not aware that they have already discovered what the true love means.

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credits to: ( h a r l e q u i n. )