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                                                                                         "Didn’t we promise each other a forever and after?"

Kyungsoo once thought about how his life would be if he hadn’t meet Jongin that day. Maybe he won’t be experiencing this kind of pain if he hadn’t meet Jongin. But then again, living life without Jongin is much worse than dying.

He was contented with how they lived their lives. Being with Jongin was all that mattered to Kyungsoo. As long as there is Jongin. He will be okay. As long as Jongin is by his side.

But accidents happen. And Kyungsoo thought its life way of playing with him. The odds are obviously not on their favor because all their life, all they experienced were difficulties. Al though being together makes them happy, there’s still that feeling hidden inside of them. Silently questioning the world why they have to be the one living like that. Why people left them. Why no one wants them.

When everyone and everything had turned their backs on them, it was only Jongin that has always mattered.

But even when it was like that, Kyungsoo was fine with putting up with all of it. The world can hate him or hurt him. As long as it’s him in pain, not Jongin. He would rather himself suffer than to see Jongin suffer.

And now they’re even taking Jongin away from him.

Kyungsoo drops to his knees as he clutches on the doctor’s coat.

“Please. Please I’m begging you! Please.. He’s going to be fine soon.. Please just a few more days, please!”

“I’m sorry. I cannot help you with this.”

Just those words and the doctor left the room, leaving behind a sobbing Kyungsoo.

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His voice is raspy and the tears dried on his cheeks, leaving trails on it.

Kyungsoo painstakingly smiles at Jongin as he runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair. Jongin liked it when he does that. He said he can fall asleep with just that little gesture from him.

“The hospital wanted to discharge you already.. I’m sorry I couldn’t earn enough to pay the bills..”, he starts as tears spring down his cheeks again. “But I will work harder to pay the bills.. so you.. you should also work hard and hold on tight okay?”

He caresses Jongin’s cheek with the back of his index finger.

“Didn’t we promise each other a forever and after?”

Silence. The silence was too deafening and it’s killing Kyungsoo deep inside because if Jongin was there, the room would have been filled with laughter and jokes that he would normally not get due to his lack of sense of humor. But either way, he would be laughing. Because Jongin s laughing. And Jongin’s laugh itself can make him laugh as well.

“Jongin’a… I won’t be able to visit as much from now on because of work so you be a good boy okay? I’ll come back soon, okay?”

Kyungsoo’s voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he leans down to plant a soft kiss on Jongin’s forehead.

He knows there won’t an answer. Maybe soon. Maybe later. Maybe when he comes back, Jongin will answer.

Maybe later his Jongin will come back to him.

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That night, Kyungsoo walks back to his workplace, his head aching from too much thinking. He needs to find way to earn more money. He needs to find ways to earn money as soon as possible to pay Jongin’s hospital bills.

It’s been half a year since Jongin’s bills increased and since then, he hasn‘t been able to pay the exact amount. He is a million won short and he has already exhausted all possible resources he could surrender but even that was not enough. He could sell his soul but even that won’t be enough.

Kyungsoo bites the inside of his lower lip, something he had taken from Jongin. He can’t give up. Not now. Not when Jongin is beginning to be better.

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credits to: ( h a r l e q u i n. )