Mino was one of the real friends I made outside of my family, more like the only one, really. I was glad that he stayed. I was a mess, he knew that and yet his gaze remained unquestioning, uncritical. I wasn’t talking to him much these days but he seemed to understand. He seemed to see through my blank answers and dead stares. He was here and yet he wasn’t really, if that made sense.

“I met with my girlfriend’s father,” Mino began out of nowhere, his arm around my shoulder and he seemed to lean on me as we walked, not that I minded but he was heavy.

“Aren’t you a little young to get married?” I asked and he just laughed. In this country, it was traditional to only meet your lover’s parents if you were planning to get married.

“Silly, I met with your father,” he stated. Oh right. In front of my father, he was my boyfriend. I wasn’t sure why I made up such a lie but at the time, it seemed reasonable. I thought it was a way to tell my father that I didn’t need him, that I had a man in my life, one much better than he was.

“What did you talk about?” I asked though I didn’t really want to hear. But since Mino talked about it, it meant he had something to say.

“He asked me where you moved into so I told him,” he turned to look at me but my eyes remained on the pavement.

“Is that all?” I asked.

“Well there were other things but I doubt you’d want to hear of them.”

I let out a dry laugh. “You know me well,” I elbowed him and he made a faux grunting sound.

“He was here,” I said and Mino stopped with his grunting. “In front of the building, I mean. He asked me if I could eat with him next Friday.”

“You said yes?”

“Yeah … but only because you were coming with me,” I answered.

“I was?” he asked.

“I was going to talk to you about it,” I paused. “I just know it, I’m going to meet his girlfriend there. I’m probably going to die of smiling fake smiles and listening to conversations of strangers I couldn’t care less about…”

“Then don’t,” he gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t smile when you don’t feel like doing it. Tune out their voices.”

“Wouldn’t that be rude?”

“Yeah but rude is better than nice yet fake.”                                                             

“You’re coming, right?” I asked, just to be sure.

Mino replied with silence and a pensive face. It wasn’t until we got to the mart that he spoke again and it was a good evening to the guard who opened the door for us.

Why are you here?

I wanted to ask the man in front of me, as he placed canned goods into the cart he was pushing.

If I was someone else and I met myself, I wouldn’t have stayed. I’m a mess. I’m a pessimist. I’m unhappy. I’m hardly there for him and yet he’s here, he comes whenever I call.

“Mino, why are you still here?” I asked as we turned to the drinks section, the words slipping out of my lips subconsciously. My mouth gaped at the realization and Mino just looked at me, his eyes questioning yet dismissive at the same time. He gave me a brief smile before he opened one of the fridges to get a bottle of water and orange juice.

“Where? What are you talking about?” he asked and he continued pushing the cart.

“Never mind,” I replied as I remained lagging behind him.

I was reminded of his impulsive tendencies and I pulled the almost full cart to put it to a halt.

“Why did you put in so much? I don’t have money to pay for that all!” I hissed at him and he let out a loose and brief laugh.

“Who said you would pay?” he asked and he started pushing the cart again.

“What? That’s just too much, Mino. You know I don’t like owing you money!” I said and I felt my blood rise to my face.

“You need these,” he worded, emphasizing the last word.

“No. I know wh