I thought I wouldn’t go to school, but seeing as it was a Friday, I didn’t have to see Mr. Dong.

I came early, and all the time I was seated there was a knot in my stomach. I wasn’t exactly sure why. Seri’s seat remained empty all throughout the day. It didn’t matter though, because I wouldn’t have talked to her, even if she was here.

I attended my classes, with nothing but the word ‘present’ leaving my mouth when prompted. I didn’t talk to anyone, or listened to the lectures. I had too much going on in my mind, and I didn’t need more, nor did I have the brain capacity to welcome additional knowledge.

I just kept on thinking about Mino, and how seeing him now would be the best thing to do, because he owed me answers. Why would he think that I couldn’t do it on my own? But I was also trying to weigh this down, and not assume too much, because maybe he was just concerned and he just wanted to keep an eye on me simply because he couldn’t.

I needed to talk to him, and there was no way I could…or so I thought.

Saturday morning came and my eyebrows rose in curiosity when I saw who was standing in front of my door.

He bit his lower lip as he pressed the doorbell again, and I didn’t wait for another minute to pass before I answered the door.

He smiled at me as I eyed him up and down. I noticed immediately the brown notebook in his hand. It looked much too similar to Mino’s lyric notebook.

“Hanbin,” I pulled open the door wider. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

He breathed a laugh, “I didn’t expect to see myself here, either.”

“What brought you here?”

“I’m just doing Song Minho a favor,” he shrugged his shoulders off.

“You still call your brother by that name?”

“Hm, it’s more of a nickname now,” he raised his hand to fix his white cap. “We stopped fighting ages ago, if that’s what you mean.”

“He never told me,” I furrowed my eyebrows and feigned hurt.

“We were doing better,” he looked down as he smiled, and lifted his eyes to meet mine, “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I replied almost immediately.

“Good to hear, then. I…uh, came to give you this,” he held out the brown notebook to me. “Should’ve brought it right after he left but I couldn’t. I’m sorry it’s a little late. He’s kind of mentioned it was important.” 

I received the notebook and felt the cover with my fingers. “It’s fine; no worries.”

He then mouthed an ‘okay’ and smiled before he checked his wristwatch. “I have to go to school,” he motioned towards the hallway.

“You’re going to school on  Saturday?”

“Practice!” He let out a laugh, and began to walk without turning his back on me. “It was nice seeing you.”  

“Same here. Tell your mom I said hi.”

“I will,” he called out as he reached the elevator and pressed a button. I waved a hand and closed the door.

Dear Byul,

Hi, how are you doing? I hope you’re doing fine, because I am, I’d be. I don’t know what day it would be when you’d read this, nor do I have an idea where I’d be. I’m writing for the future, because I want to be there for you for when I can’t be physically there.

Has your sister called you yet? Maybe they just lost your number, or the internet connection. You can think whatever you want, Byul, but please never think that they’ve left you. You’re not alone. You have a friend. You can go visit my mom, or Hanbin. They can use your company. You can even talk to your father. You can talk to Youngbae (I hope you’re not mad I asked him to look after you. I didn’t know anyone else who sees you almost every day), or you can talk to other people you know. And if you don’t want to speak, then write them down. Talk to me.

I’m always here, Byul. That was a promise I made to myself. Just turn the page and you can talk to me. I miss you.

To: Mino

I’m so sorry I doubted you. I didn’t like the fact that you asked for Mr. Dong’s help, but only because I thought you did that with the idea that I can’t do it on my own. Mr. Dong is trying to reach out, and I’m here, not attending his classes because I’m not used to getting help. I’m not used to other people’s company. It’s like a sick joke, the fact