Morning came with the buzz of his alarm clock, driving him out of sleep and up from his bed. LuHan had learned to place his alarm on the dresser, well out of reach so that he had to get up to turn it off; this way he couldn’t hit snooze again and again and be late. He was mostly used to the early morning hours; life at seven in the morning is nothing like the midday hours. An almost peaceful feeling filled the air in the stillness of the morning and he found that he really enjoyed it.

It didn’t mean that he enjoyed the exhaustion that came with it, though. After switching the alarm off, he stumbled into the bathroom to shuck his night clothing into the hamper and step into the shower. The water on his face and body did wonders to wake him despite the late night before, and by the time he stepped out to dry himself off he found himself smiling slightly in anticipation for the day.

He hurried through his morning routine and then downstairs, getting the ingredients out for Grandfather Tzu even though there were no signs of life in the kitchen or dining room. It has been several weeks since the time spent with Vinson in their home, and though the two were still a bit awkward they had learned how to work with each other. As he carefully sliced the peppers how the old man had taught him, he reveled in the fact that he was up and working before any of them for once. When Mrs. Luo finally came up the ramp, still tying her apron behind her back, he already had the rice frying nicely and he offered her a soft smile.

“Good morning,” he said quietly, and her eyes lifted from the pan to his face. A smile graced her lips then, and she offered him a duck of the head in response.

“Good morning, LuHan.”

Grandpa Tzu was the next up, and when LuHan offered him the spoon to stir the rice with, the old man laughed and backed away with his hands raised. “No no, finish what you start,” he said laughingly as he headed for the dining room with the newspaper tucked under an arm. 

Though his words were meant teasingly about the breakfast, they took a deeper meaning in LuHan’s mind as he slowly stirred the rice to keep it from burning. ‘Finish what you start.’ His father used to say that to him, but he hadn’t even thought of those words since he had quit his martial arts classes only three weeks in. His father had berated him, telling him to finish what he started, but LuHan had answered with some snippet about it being a waste of time.

He gave a sigh as he added the eggs into the rice, letting them set up before he stirred them again, just as old Tzu had showed him. It had been years since he actually finished anything he started, years since he had taken pride in something he did. He flipped the knob and turned the fire off on the stove, pulling the rice to the side and scooping out portions to take to the elders. This time…

He was determined. This time he would do something he was proud of.

Vinson joined them only a few moments later, his hair still damp from a shower. He gave LuHan a hesitant smile which the tall man returned quickly. It had been a few weeks since their conversation in the basement home, and while they certainly weren’t on a friends basis they were much more comfortable with one another, and Mrs. Luo seemed to take a lot of comfort in that.

The work day passed quickly, the little restaurant busy as usual but not slammed; just enough work to keep one waiter busy. LuHan cleaned up the restaurant as he did every night, Vinson at one of the tables going over paperwork, but tonight as LuHan put away the mop and bucket and turned to head upstairs, a voice called from below.

“LuHan, come down here please.” He followed Mrs. Luo’s request and moved down the ramp into the Luo’s home, a bit uncomfortable as he glanced around to find her. This was only the second time he had been down in their home. Soon his eyes landed on the woman as she set plates on their small table, and she motioned at him. “Come, eat with us,” she said, pointing at one of the chairs. His stomach immediately grumbled at the mention of food, but he wasn’t so sure he should do this.

He shifted his feet and opened his mouth to politely decline when Vinson’s voice came from behind him. “Go sit at the table, LuHan,” he said, and when the young man turned to look at him, the stocky man gave him a pointed look. With an inward sigh LuHan did as he was told, taking a seat between Mrs. Luo and Vinson.

Dinner was easy enough; noodles and chicken with just a hint of spice, a meal LuHan truly loved though he was afraid to say anything about it. He wasn’t sure who made the usual soup he ate for dinner after work and didn’t want to offend anyone, though he surprised himself with the thoughtfulness of his action. As Mrs. Luo stood to begin clearing the dishes, LuHan stood as well and carried his and Vinson’s empty plates to the sink. 

“I can wash these,” he said quietly, and she nodded in thanks.

“Okay. I can rinse.”

LuHan ran a sink of soap and water before dipping his hands in to begin cleaning the dishes used. Mrs. Luo waited patiently, then as he handed her the first plate she asked nonchalantly, “So, what do you like to do, LuHan? For fun, I mean.”

His hands paused in the water as he truly thought about his answer. Ever since his mid teens he had considered partying and drinking his source of fun; he couldn’t remember really doing anything in his teens that he had once loved as a child. “I… used to love soccer,” he said quietly, handing her the next plate, and she smiled as she rinsed it. 

“Did you play?”

“No… well, a little bit in my backyard, but never on a team. I was always too…” Shy, his mind finished, but he didn’t think she’d ever believe that. He had always been afraid to be a failure, afraid to disappoint his parents or shame himself by failing, and so he had never tried. ‘Isn’t it failure of another sort, then?’ The nagging voice whispered in his mind, and he couldn’t deny the truth it spoke.

“My husband loved soccer,” Mrs. Luo said musingly as she rinsed the pot he had just handed her. “My boys never liked it much, though. They always preferred baseball. Vinson got a scholarship…” Her voice trailed off as she realized she was talking about something that would now never happen, and LuHan’s heart felt like it froze.

He really had ruined everything, hadn’t he?

“… So… Did you have plans for college?” Mrs. Luo tried to salvage their small talk, but she couldn’t know that this topic only made it worse. He had never cared to go to college; he had always had enough money to do whatever he wanted, why should he bother learning a trade? And yet her oldest son had gone to college with the plans to better his family, plans that LuHan had ruined in one stupid night. 

Tears built into his eyes and threatened to spill down his cheeks, and so he yanked his hands out of the water and dried them quickly on the dishcloth. “Thanks for dinner,” he said quietly, a slight shake in his voice betraying how much the conversation had affected him, and then he bolted. Taking the steps two at a time he didn’t stop until he stood in his bathroom, his hands on his sink as he allowed the tears of regret and pain to fall.

He was a