Chapter 14: First of all, I really like you're writing because it's subjective. Plus, you can tell the different styles of words different povs use so that's great! What I think you could improve on is your grammar errors, sometimes writers tend to forget to check their writing but it's okay! Other authors make these mistakes as well! When writing a long block of a fanfic (lmao) you should also focus on the surroundings, the description of the place or their movements that tell the readers how the charactera are feeling. (Are they nervous? Scared? Excited? They have different reactions to each feeling)
But I want to say I love that you write a lot of thoughts, so readers are always aware of where the characters are going in their heads, so that's really good.
Good luck on your fanfic!! :)

Chapter 12: Awh... I can sense that Kevin, Soo Hyun, Dong Ho (and probably Eli) playing in this play >. <

Nice story, Author-nim

Chapter 6: hehehe that seems realistic to me because minho and me are both competitive soo... haha aaaaaaaaw that was really sweet and cute keke XD where is that giant frog when I need him haha :3

Chapter 5: awwwwww that's cute your stories are making me wish I had minho with me now yeobo I miss you T.T

Chapter 4: Adorable!!

Chapter 4: awww that was cute XD

Chapter 1: Awwww this is so cute! *.* can't wait for the next One Shots, good Job! (Y) <3