I laid down on my lumpy mattress and stared at the ceiling. I didn’t want to go to school that day but I knew I could not skip school. I dragged myself out of my bed and went to the bathroom to wash up. I put on my clothes and dragged my tired and sore body to school. I spent all last night crying and my eyes were really puffy and red.

I arrived at school and everything around me seemed like a blur. Woohyun passed by and said hi to me but I didn’t even stop to reply back. I just kept walking to my first class and sat there brainless for the whole period. We got up to turn in our reports and I went outside to sit.

5 minutes later Woohyun showed up with a drink. He handed it to me but I didn’t have the strength to open it. I just sat there angry at myself. I knew I should end it by now but I couldn’t. 2 years with Myungsoo wasn’t worth giving up and even though I knew this relationship couldn’t last forever I just couldn’t let him go.

Woohyun looked over at me and told me that he had a way to make me feel better. He grabbed my arm and took me to a small rice cake stand outside of the University.

“Food always makes everyone feel better.”

I didn’t have the stomach to eat. I stood there staring at the food. Woohyun took a fork of rice cake and put it in front of me.

“Here. Eat!”

I got the courage to take it and put it into my mouth. He grinned with a mouthful of rice cake.

“Eat. Eat more.”

I took the fork and took another bite of rice cake. I was starting to feel a little better and Woohyun said that he would beat him up for me if I wanted him to. He put both his fists up and started punching the air.

“I can beat him, don’t worry.”

I laughed and he pointed at me.

“HA! I made you laugh!”

And continued eating his rice cakes. I stared at him from the side.

He walked me to my house that afternoon and told me if I needed someone to talk to I could take to him. He reached into my sweater pocket and grabbed my phone. Typed in his number and was off.

I stared at him walk down the street, bag on his shoulder and book in his hand.

I got the courage that night to call Myungsoo.

“Babe! Lets go out and eat tonight. Ill make it up to you for not eating with you yesterday.”

“Don’t you have work to do?” I replied glumly.

“Oh. Yea that’s right… How about tomorrow?”

I didn’t respond.

“Tomorrow okay babe? Tomorrow at 5. ill pick you up.

And he hung up. I kept the phone in my ear and whispered “I love you.” That was the first time I said those words after 2 years. Never to his face though. He didn’t seem ready to commit to those words yet so I never had the chance to say it.

I woke up the next morning feeling somewhat better. I walked to school and went to my class. I opened my books and skimmed through the pages before class started. I was early, for once.

“BOO!”

I turned to the side, surprised.

“I scared you huh?”

He pulled the chair next to me and sat down.

“Feel better yet?”

I nodded.

“That’s good.”

He opened his book and professor walked in.

I walked out of the classroom and Woohyun ran after me. He stood next to my side and asked me where I was going. I said I was going home to get ready to meet Myungsoo.

“The jerk from last time?”

I nodded.

“But why?”

I shrugged.

I knew in my right mind that was being stupid for keeping up with this relationship. I knew he didn’t love me anymore but I couldn’t let go.

I walked into my apartment and put on my nice dress. I went into the bathroom to fix myself up. I wanted to look especially pretty today to see if this was the reason why he didn’t love me anymore.

He came at 6. Not 5. He knocked on my door. For the first time he didn’t wait outside next to his car and honk his horn for me to come out. I knew something was up. I opened the door and there he was.

“Lets go.”

And he led me to his car. I went into the passenger seat and closed the door.

“So where are we going?”

“Idunno. Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmmm….. lets go eat somewhere.

He drove to a nice restaurant and we ate. It was quiet this time. I didn’t know whether or not to bring up whether or not he was cheating on me but I figured this wasn’t the right time.

We finished eating and he drove me to my apartment.

“We’re here.”

“Thanks for the ride.”

I opened the door and he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. I backed away.

“Whats wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why wont you let me kiss you?”

“Just cause.”

I opened the door to the car. He grabbed my arm.

“Ya, is there something wrong?”

I pushed him off and walked to my front door. He ran after me.

“Ya, Han Seungyeon. Seungyeon!”

He grabbed my arm again.

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange lately.”

“Me?! Acting strange? You should be looking at yourself.”

“What are you talking about?”

I pushed his hand off.

“Bye Myungsoo.”