Title: 写给爷爷的故事♡ ; Story for my grandfather  
 Characters/Pairings: VIXX's N & Family/None 
 Author's Note: So! This is my story. I just used Hakyeon to replace me. Certain parts of the story  have been changed though. Merry belated Christmas / Boxing Day!! I actually wrote a story for  Christmas: click!  

Fifteen-year-old Hakyeon had never believed that people could literally cry for hours and not even feel it. Every time he read fanfics wherein the main character would sob for hours on end only to have red bloodshot eyes, parched throat and a terrible headache from the dehydration, he always thought that they were just exaggeration.

He found out though.

And how he wished he didn't.

Looking in the mirror, he was a little shocked at the bloodshot eyes that stared back at him. The whites of his eyes were literally pink with tiny red capillaries drawing delicate and intricate patterns on them, not a speck of white to be seen. His throat felt horribly dry, and doesn't remember being this thirsty in a while. He had wanted to drink some water during the whole two hours he cried, but unfortunately, his bottle of water had run out and he was too busy crying and ignoring the world to ask someone else for water.

Hakyeon chuckled bitterly, thinking that he must've looked really pathetic while sitting beside the hospice's bed. He remembers how his brother had thrown him another handkerchief, noticing the one he had brought to dry his tears was already saturated with the saline liquid and snot. It may seem like an uncaring gesture, but for two brothers who aren't exactly that close, it was an unspoken message to Hakyeon that his brother cares for him.

Hakyeon doesn't remember much that happened, since he had cried from the moment he entered the room and only stopped a few minutes before leaving. He only felt the annoying headache when he had left the room after saying the final goodbyes to his grandfather, while waiting for the undertakers to do their job. He remembers that the headache was pretty severe, and no matter what he tried to do, it stubbornly refused to disappear.

Hakyeon hates it; he hates it how everyone thinks he's too young to know anything. He's fifteen, for goodness' sake! He hates how he only finds out most of his grandfather's condition during the funeral, when he overhears his parent discussing with his relatives or their friends. He feels kind of cheated, and somewhat hurt when he learns so many things about his grandfather's condition that has gone on for so long. He knew that his grandfather had lung cancer, but never knew that the tumor had been successfully shrunk to the point where the surgeons couldn't find it and deemed it destroyed (at least that's what he heard). He never knew that the cancer had spread again so quickly, just when he thought his grandfather was doing so well. He never knew what was going on behind the scenes; all he knew was that he would always be there for his grandfather, and often talked to him because stupid Hakyeon still thought that his grandfather hadn't recovered from the lung cancer. But Hakyeon also knew that they were doing it to protect him. They deemed him too young to know such things, and probably didn’t want Hakyeon to know the amount of suffering his favourite person had to go through. Hakyeon knew he had to treasure his grandfather, and to make use of all the time he could have with him.

Hakyeon feels that his grandfather died young. Too young; age seventy-one, where most people would still be relatively healthy, his grandfather kicked the bucket. Hakyeon knows that his grandfather is really young. He had his first child at age twenty-three, and first grandchild at age fifty-three. There are many parents now that are close to their fifties, or maybe even in their early fifties and have yet to have grandchildren. Heck, their children are probably still schooling!

Hakyeon feels that his grandfather left early, way too early. If his grandfather had managed to live to the average lifespan of a man in an urbanized area, he would've met his great-grandchildren. Oh, how much Hakyeon wanted his future children to know what a great man their great-grandfather was. They would even be able to make the fourth generation of the family where everyone's last names were Cha! His grandfather only had sons, hence all his three sons and three grandchildren all had the last name of Cha. But then he realizes that he has a female cousin, so the fourth generation might not have everyone with the surname of Cha. Hakyeon feels that his grandfather left too early; he still had to scold Hakyeon for his impractical dreams of being a performer! He still had to chide Hakyeon for not doing well in school! He still had to take care of Hakyeon's grandmother, who was suffering from dementia and giving his uncle quite a bit of trouble. Heck, he still had to spend more time with Hakyeon! Fifteen years is not enough, Hakyeon thinks. Fifteen years with someone he looks up to so much, those short fifteen years weren't enough. Moreover, he didn't remember his first two and was pretty sure he spent at least four or five years detesting his grandfather, because which kid wanted more homework outside of school?

Hakyeon remembers how the old man would hold on to his hand, teaching him patiently how to write when he was still a toddler. Hakyeon remembers the time when he was young, when his grandfather would force him to memorize old poems, when his grandfather would find new vocabulary words to teach him. Hakyeon remembers how much he hated his grandfather for that, especially when he got spanked for defying the old man. He even remembers how he used to think about his grandfather's death, stupidly saying that he'd celebrate while everyone was mourning. He could only chuckle brokenly when he's the one that's gotten the most impact from the passing of his grandfather.

Hakyeon feels thankful; thankful that he was able to learn so much from that old man. Even though sometimes his grandfather didn't possess the humour he did and therefore couldn't understand his jokes, it was always fun to chat with him and understand his outlook on life. He learnt not to be greedy, not to keep asking others for things. He learnt to keep learning, no matter how old you are. He learnt many different idioms that would help him in school. He feels thankful that his grandfather actually took the time to teach him how to write. It must've been a pain, because Hakyeon distinctly remembers fooling around and colouring the words his grandfather had written in faint ink rather than following the character and writing it properly. It must've taken him a lot of time, because while most parents or grandparents would opt to buy ready-made worksheets for their children or grandchildren to do, his grandfather had wrote the countless number of worksheets for him and his brother. Hakyeon also feels thankful for his patience. Hakyeon was always intrigued by the lovely drawings in magazines and book covers, and always requested his grandfather to draw them for him. And that old man could really draw, despite not having a proper class on drawing. He remembers how his grandfather once hand-copied a 3-cm thick book on drawing for him, because it had been a library book that Hakyeon couldn't finish  reading. Hakyeon loves his grandfather, and even if he doesn't say it much (or maybe not at all), he hopes his grandfather can feel his heart, just like he can feel his grandfather's.

Hakyeon hates how his inklings tend to seem right. He hates it how sometimes he can somewhat tell when a person's gonna go. He hates that life is so cruel, that a person can be so healthy and happy just one week before, but then death strikes the next. It was both the rainbow after the rain and the calm before the storm.

Lastly, Hakyeon thinks he should stop crying. He doesn't want a repeat of those horrible headaches again. But how? How can he not cry when he reads fanfiction, where the main character loses the battle to cancer, just like his grandfather? How can he not cry when his grandfather's photo (the one he had personally edited for the funeral photo, something like his last gift to his grandfather)  is there, right above his piano, looking directly at him, as if telling him to be good every time he was having troubles in his life? How can he not cry, when the man he respects the most and wants to be like when he grows up is dead? Burned to a crisp but the flames of the incinerator, with his ashes now resting in a marble urn?

guys, treasure the people around you, ohkay? you never know when they'll live. and if your parents/grandparents always hit you when you do something wrong, remember: 打是爱，骂是疼 (hitting and scolding are love). and i'm just being random and stuff, but here's my grandfather's online memorial (: If you've read this story before, I've added another paragraph (: