Your Point of View

 

            It feels like I just woke up. No, more rather it feels like I was reborn. I had all this knowledge inside of me, but I was too powerless to use it. There wasn’t a single thing I could do to open my heart wider any faster. The knowledge hurts, but the pain reminds me that I didn’t die that day. It reminds me that I had love, but I had to throw it all away. He really loved me. I know that now. Why is it that it’s only after we lose the one we love most in the world that we realize how special they are to us? How stupid we had been for doubting it for even a second. What makes us so blind that we can’t see a thing? What causes us to shy away from happiness?

            When I realized I had known all along, my heart broke a thousand times over. How could I forget? How could I make the one I loved most in this world suffer for as long as I made him suffer? What kind of person does that make me? What was my excuse on the other side that I was aloud to come back? Every time I think about it I can’t breathe.

 

~ Flashback ~

 

            “I just wanted to see her. She was my best friend growing up.” He said looking into my eyes.

            “You told me you wouldn’t see her unless I was there with you because you know I don’t trust her. Yet when I asked when you’d be getting back they tell me you had stopped for a few days in a town just outside the city and that you were visiting a friend. When they told me her name it was all I could do not to cry on the spot. I feel so betrayed.” I was expertly trying to fight tears at this point. I was shaking so hard and it wasn’t just because I was freezing. Yes, that didn’t help, but I was fuming and I didn’t know what could defuse me.

            “I’m sorry. I should have told you I was stopping to see her, but I don’t understand what the big deal is if you trust me. You do trust me, right?” He asks as I look away.

            “I am really angry right now.” I say tears very close to the edge. He looks really sorry.

            “Why are you so angry? If you trust me it shouldn’t be a problem.” He says pulling me into a hug.

            “I feel like you can’t be honest with me. I know you grew up with her, but I don’t trust her. Every time I turn my back she is on your arm so fast she burns the soles of her shoes.” I said pulling out of the hug. “Lately I feel like what I want comes second to everyone around you. Like I don’t matter. And it didn’t use to be this way. But lately I feel like I come last to the fans and everyone else.”

            “I feel the same way, but I will always choose you. And I will always try to make it up to you.” He says trying to touch my cheek. I step back even farther. Not able to bring my eyes up to his, I just stand there feeling like an idiot. I was trying so hard not to cry a river of tears.

            “I think you and me should take a break.” I say.

            “Wait, why?” Jun-hyung asks as a look of terror stretches across his face and he steps towards me.

            “I just don’t think we are meant to be. Every time we get a chance to be together we get ripped apart. I am tired of sharing you with the world. And I’m tired of no one approving of our love. The public, your friends outside of the group and your parents.”

            “You don’t mean that,” He says as I take another step back. As he takes two steps forward I take three steps back.

            “The sad thing is I really do.” I say a tear hitting my cheek. Jun-hyung wipes it away as I put on a brave face.

            “You knew what it meant to have to deal with all of this before we started dating.” He reminds me through girded teeth.

            “I know, but I just don’t think you’re worth it anymore.” I say, trying to hurt him. If I can get him to hate me, then this will hurt the both of us.

            “Let’s just go sit down and talk about this.” He says as he drags me over to a bench and sits me down.

            “Why don’t I go get us some water?” He says. He is gone two seconds and I stand up to walk away. Better to just cut him out of my life clean. As I walk away I hear a crash behind me. I turn to see him fall to the bench. I bite my lip and prey for him to stand up. He doesn’t. Biting my lip so hard out of alarm I draw blood. Walking over to him to make sure he is okay a tear hits my cheek.

            “Are you okay?” I ask, cupping his face in my hands. He lifts his head out of my hands and gives me a small peck on the lips, wiping away the blood.

            “If you leave me, I don’t know what I’d become. I don’t know how I would pick up the pieces. If you’re gone, I don’t know who I am, because without you, I’m no one.” A tear falls onto his cheek. It was hard for him to not lose himself trying to convince me to stay. I look into his eyes and I realize that this is the time to tell him what I had been trying to say over the phone for the past week. I help him to stand.

            “Jun-hyung…” I begin, as he leans on me so I can’t walk away again.

            “Yes?” He says, tears still flowing from his eyes. I wipe them away and brace myself. He once told me that if I let myself fall he would be right there to pick me up again.

            “I have something to tell you,” I am scared to death to know what he will say.

            “What is it?” He asks sniffling. More tears come and he holds me tighter, I think he thinks I’m going to run away from him again.

            “I’m pregnant.” I whisper.

            “What was that? It sounded like you said that…” I nod my head and he loosened his grip slightly. His eyes bulged almost to the point of jumping out of their sockets.

            “How did this happen? Wait, I know how this happened, but…When did you find out?” This was the first time I couldn’t read his facial expression.

            “About a week ago.” I say trying to maintain my cool head. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

            “This is…this is so…”

            “So what?” I ask, tears forming in my eyes. I look down at the ground and he pulls away from me.

            “Wonderful!” He smiles and leans down and kisses my stomach. “This is amazing.” He said laughing and hugging me at the same time.

            “Really?” I ask, still unsure of how he really feels.

            “This is perfect. I was going to ask you to marry me, but this is unfair, your news is so much cooler than my simple question.”

            “How so?” I ask wondering why it was taking him so long to propose in the first place.

            “Because you’re making me a dad.” He kisses my cheek and whispers into my ear, “Why wouldn’t I be happy to become the father of your children?” He asked. I smile and giggle into his chest.

            “Son!” called Mr. Yong.

            “Dad?” He asked, looking over my head. He didn’t let me go or cease to stop smiling. He just turned us around so he could better see his parents walking over to us.

            “Why don’t you let that girl go, okay?” Asked his mother.

            “What?” He asked, confused and held me tighter.

            “Let me spell it out for you. You are three years away from completing your contract with CUBE and you promised that when it expired you would go to medical school. Don’t you remember? You said no girls, no alcohol and no drugs. You are going to marry a woman of our choosing.” Said Mr. Yong calmly.

            “You know how we feel about Americans, son. They are filthy trash. They will lie to get anything they want. No offense sweetie.” Said his mother sweetly.

            “I’m not letting her go. She is going to be the mother of my child.” He said with his hand on my stomach. His father looked disgusted while his mother took a step back from me like I was diseased.

            “That can be easily taken care of.” Said his father holding up his cell phone. His mother took a few steps forward and held out her hand to him. She wanted him to leave me standing there alone.

            “I’m not letting her go.” He said, holding me tighter.

            “It’s okay, we can talk later,” I say, but he pushes his mothers hand away and faces his back to them.

            “You will let her go this instant.” Said his father, his temper rising slightly.

            “Over my dead body.” He said. I looked up into his face and he was quite serious. He wasn’t letting me go, nor was he going to give in to his parents.

            “We can hire a private doctor to help her with her little...situation,” said Mrs. Yong taking care with her words.

            “Did you not hear me?” He asked.

            “Stop it this instant!” Yelled his father. “You will walk away from that girl or we will disown you.” His faced didn’t falter. It was right then that I understood what his choice was. But his parents still couldn’t grasp the fact that the child they raised to have the same principles as them was choosing the very girl that would drive a wedge between the three of them.

            “Go ahead.” Was all he said. His father snapped his finger and several men in black emerged from the direction of their car and pried him away from me. Holding him in his spot and me in mine I was starting to realize we didn’t have a choice. The man holding me in my spot didn’t know what to do with me when I fell to the ground vomiting.

            “What’s this?” He asked.

            “It’s morning sickness. Please let me go to her.” He begged his parents.

            “You will stay put.” Said his father. Jun-hyung called out to me and then I heard a grunt. I looked up and saw one of the men in black approaching me.

            “No.” He said. “Father, don’t.” I began breathing heavily and clutched my stomach. I knew what was about to happen from the panic in Jun-hyung’s voice. Then the man in black kicked me as hard as humanly possible in my stomach. “Stop it!” called Jun-hyung as the man went to kick me again.

            “Dear,” I heard his mothers voice right on my ear. “I will give you two options. You will accept these keys and leave or we will make this the most painful night of your life. It’s your choice. Either way, you will lose our son.”

            “What do I do?” I asked him lying on the ground, tears flowing from the pain.

            “I don’t know,” He said coming to me. The men in black finally let him go. He was holding my head in his lap. “I can’t lose you or our baby, but if you stay I’ll loose you both.” He said crying along with me. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

            “Alright that’s enough.” Said Mr. Yong coming over to us. “What is the American’s choice?” He asked me. I looked into Jun-hyung’s eyes. I mentally told him how sorry I was for the choice I was about to make.

            “I’ll take the car.” I said. He held me closer to him as Mr. Yong walked back over to his wife.

            “Don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” He begged. I felt his tears stain my cheek.

            “Get up.” Said the man in black yanking me from his arms. He dragged me to where Mr. and Mrs. Yong were standing. They were smiling, enjoying every bit of this.

            “Soon you will be just a faint memory for our son.” Said his mother. “The car is over there.” She said pointing out a black sedan. I nodded my head. Before they saw where I went I turned and ran for Jun-hyung’s arms. He caught me instantly and fell to the ground with me still in his arms. This time Mr. Yong himself came over to us and plucked me from his son.

            “Don’t ever come near him again.” Said his father as one of the men in black dragged me to the car. I didn’t think twice about driving off. But it didn’t sit well with me for leaving him there. I drove as fast as I could. I started driving south and had to stop many times for gas. The whole drive I couldn’t help but think that I abandoned Jun-hyung, but the whole drive, I hoped he would understand. I will come back after our baby is born. I see a sign for Busan and guess this is where I was supposed to go. I am about thirty miles out.

            I begin to take the proper turn but I am cut off. The car in front of me swerves and I try to stay as far away from them as I can when another car pulls up behind me. I try to avoid them both as best as possible, when the car behind me speeds up and the one in front of me slows down. I am sandwiched between them. The car behind me swerves and I begin to shed a few tears. I know what is about to happen.

            My car over turns and Jun-hyung’s baby and I are caught inside.

 

~ End of Flashback ~

 

            As I sit there, I try to imagine what woke me up in that hospital. What prompted me to drive to Busan in the first place? I listen to the music and try not to cry anymore. I stop holding my stomach and realize that none of this was his fault. He couldn’t be blamed for any of it. Not that I blamed him before, but just in case I tried to blame him in the future.

            “Well, I never thought I’d see you again.” Said a very familiar voice. I turn around and see his mother standing before me. I am terrified and he doesn’t know where I am.

            “Hello.” I say, my word a bit shaky.

            “Do you know what you did to our son?” She asks me. “He hasn’t come home once in two years. He hasn’t talked to us or tried to make any sort of contact. What did you do to him? I bet you knew the whole time you were with him that it wasn’t going to work out.” I stare straight forward and try not to bother with her.

            “But we were mistaken. Regrettably you were good for him.” She said as if she were spitting in my face because she had been wrong.

            “And you just realized this?” I ask, not turning my head. Scared as I was, I continued to sit there.

            “No, we realized it after you failed to call to tell him you made it safely anywhere.” She said, a smile playing on her words. I lightly laugh. Was she for real?

            “You mean the people who ran me off the road weren’t hired by you?” I ask sarcastically.

            “Of course they were.” Said his mother bitterly, not understanding my use of sarcasm in this situation.

            “Mrs. Yong?” asked Jun-hyung as he entered the church.

            “Jun-hyung!” She called standing to face him.

            “Get away from her.” He said, not the least bit scared. He was threatening his own mother in order to protect me from whatever evil lurked inside her. Once again, I fell for him and without any hesitation.

            “Why? We were just talking.”

            “Leave us alone.” He said, claiming me.

            “So you’re an “us” again?” She asked, annoyed.

            “Always, if she’ll have me.” He says watching me as fresh tears spill over.

            “Okay, I will leave.” She says. “But promise you will come by the house later this week.”

            “When hell freezes over, so will you let me know when that is?” She leaves without another word. He stands there not talking and looking like a little kid who took the candy his parents told him he couldn’t have. I start to stand when he finally speaks.

            “Wait,” he says. “I can explain everything.” I sit back down.

            “There is no need. I remember everything.” I say looking up at the organ. “And you want to know something?”

            “What?” He said, his voice closer than it was before, but I don’t dare look back.

            “I forgive you for nothing.” He stops right in front of me and drops to his knees.

            “I understand,” he said propping his head up on my lap and holding my waist.

            “Do you?” I ask picking up his head and kissing his forehead. He looked utterly confused.

            “Why did you do that? I thought you didn’t forgive me for anything.” He said, tears bubbling to the surface.

            “I don’t, because there is nothing to forgive. None of it was your fault. None of it was our fault. Your parents were blinded by what they viewed as right and couldn’t see what was right in front of them.”

            “Which was?”

            “Their sons happiness.” I say as he sits up straight on his knees and hugs me.

            “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. Never hate me. Never leave me.”

            “I wouldn’t leave you, because who am I without you?” I say as he rests his lips on mine.

            “I looked everywhere for you!” He said resting his head on my lap again.

            “I was here the whole time.” I said his hair. He continued holding me as he got off of his knees and sat down on the pew.

            “Why were you in my church?” He asked.

            “Because this is your favorite place.”

            “But you hate it here.”

            “You don’t.” I say as I hold him tighter.

            Letting him kiss me as much as he wants, he pulls me to his lap. Holding my lower back he pulls away and kisses my neck. Making his way down to the top of my chest I pull away and remind him that we are in a church.

            “We don’t have to be.” He says, as I feel his heart start to race. I kiss his cheek.

            “I know, but there are a few things that we must take care of first.” I say as I lead him out of the church.

 

 

 

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~ A/N ~

WOW! I think there is only one last chapter to post after this. And if you think it will be a happy one, I'll let you just think that way until I post next week! It has been fun up to this point. Hopefully you will still like me as an author after I post the last chapter. Thank you for sticking with me! Credit to the maker of the gif I found on Photobucket.com! It was perfect for the chapter!

~ BigBlueBeast~

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