Jun-hyung’s Point of View

 

            As I walk away and leave her there I get a sense of sadness from the girl I left behind. I turn back to look at her and she has fallen to the ground. Tears rolling over her eyes I here a whimper. I walk up to her and help her stand. I was never able to resist her power when she cried in front of me. Helping her inside I sit her on the couch and begin walking away.

            “Can’t you just tell me now?” She whispers. I am barely able to hear her, but my ears are trained to hear to her voice no matter how quiet she is.

            “It needs to wait until later. I’m going to tell you today, but I have to do it at the right time and the right place.” I say caressing her cheek. She closes her eyes and holds my hand in place on her cheek.

            “I guess I can wait.” She said breathing lightly. I slowly begin to remove my hand but she stops me. “Wait!” She cries. She grips my hand tighter and I can’t move unless I want to drag her with me.

            “What?” I ask, alarmed.

            “Just let me hold you for another minute.” She says. This was the longest sixty seconds of my life. In that minute she managed to get me to kneel in front of her and lightly brush my lips against hers. She must have been counting, because when I pull away she whispers against my lips.

            “It’s been a minute and yet you’re still here.” Little by little I pull away from her. Opening her eyes she stands up and I stand with her. Kissing my cheek she runs off upstairs. This was the first time in a long time I let out a genuine laugh. She wasn’t the same, but at the same time she was.

            Returning to the dorm, it takes me an hour to pack a blanket and refreshments. I asked my manager to go get some food for the two of us this morning when I went to go see her.

            “Are you really going to try and get back together with her?” Asked Doo-joon, as he walked in the room and saw me packing.

            “Absolutely.” I say as I finish. “There is not a force in this universe that would stop me.” I take out my phone and text her that I’m coming. She doesn’t text me back, but somehow I know she has read it. I made her nervous and that’s why she didn’t respond. Walking out the door and down the steps I reach the street. Hailing a taxi and taking it up to her hotel she is already downstairs waiting for me.

            “Hello,” she says clearly anxious. She wanted to hear the story as badly as I wanted to tell it, but little did she know I wasn’t going to tell her the whole thing. It’s not lying; I just don’t want to give her an opportunity to run away. It’s really not lying, just a variation of the truth. I understand that she might hate me after I tell her this story, especially since that is why we are in this mess. But I’m hoping she realizes how sorry I am and forgives me.

            “We are going to a park, do you need a bigger coat?” I ask looking at her light jacket as she sits next to me in the back of the taxi.

            “This one should be big enough if we aren’t going to stay outside for very long,” she says.

My hand had been laying on the middle seat as I look out the window. I feel warm skin come into contact with mine and I look down. She placed her hand over mine while she too was looking out the window. I slightly smile as my heart begins to race. Even though I never fell out of love with her, she is making me fall in love all over again and hopefully so would she.

            We arrive at the park and I help her out of the back seat. Taking her hand and the basket we walk further into the park. Kissing her cold hand before I let go she smiles up at me.

            “Are we going to eat?” She asked looking at the basket.

            “Mhm…” I spread out a blanket and hand her a pair of chopsticks and a plate of bulgogi. I sit down on the edge of the blanket with my back up against a tree. This version of her was bold because she didn’t hesitate to crawl over to me and sit on my lap. We sat there and ate while listening to the birds. Finally putting our plates away, I begin to think I am ready to tell her most of what happened that day.

            “Are you ready to here the story?” I ask getting nervous. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

            “Yes,” she said opening her eyes.

            “It was exactly two years ago today. In one hour it will be the precise second you left me.” I say looking at her hands as she folded them in her lap.

            “It’s okay, you can continue.” She said, patting my knee, trying to comfort me.

            “We hadn’t seen each other for two months. I imagine that like me you wanted so badly to see me even though you wouldn’t tell me over the phone. But never the less I was coming back from our promotions and you were waiting for me outside my studio.” I open my mouth to continue, but no words come out.

            “Would it be easier for you if I wasn’t sitting in your lap?” She asks. That makes me tighten my grip on her.

            “Don’t go.” I beg as she begins to sit up.

            “I’ll stay right here if that’s where you want me.”

            “Yes.” I say as she settles back down.

            “Ready?” She asks. I had to speak now or I wouldn’t be able to tell her anything. Yes it was a white lie, but she wasn’t ready to know the real reason she left.

            “Trying my hardest not to cry when I saw your face I understood you were angry by the way you were standing. But I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot as I walked up to you. I took your hand and kissed it as you pulled out of my grasp.”

 

~ Flashback ~

 

            “You lied to me!” She said sounding pretty angry. I turn to Yo-seob and motion for him to go ahead into the studio. I smile as I walk straight up to her and take her hand. Kissing it as she pulls away, she looks down and I can see a tear hit her cheek.

            “Lied about what?” I ask. Trying to understand why she was so angry with me.

            “You promised me you wouldn’t see her while you were on your road trip, but she texted me and told me that she saw you.” she says. I realize how badly I messed up. I wanted to tell her that I was stopping, but I knew she would yell at me, I just didn’t know she would be this angry. “Why did you do that?”

            “I haven’t seen you for two months and your going to pick a fight with me right now?” I ask slightly smiling like the idiot I am.

            “Yes,” She said taking a step forward and raising her hand. I catch it before it has time to connect with my cheek. “How can I be with someone who can’t keep the promises he makes?” She asks trying to get out of my grasp. This was a serious subject for her. Her father didn’t keep a single promise he made with her and she had some issues when it came to this topic.

            “I just wanted to see her. She was my best friend growing up.” I said trying to look into her eyes.

            “You told me you wouldn’t see her unless I was there with you. You know I don’t trust her.” She paused trying to calm herself down. “When I asked when you’d be getting back they told me you had stopped for a few days in a town just outside the city and that you were visiting a friend. When they told me her name it was all I could do not to cry on the spot. I feel so deceived.” She was beyond angry. I knew she was and it wasn’t the raising of her voice or the fact that she had tried to slap me, but the look in her eyes told me she was betrayed.

            “I’m sorry. I should have told you I was stopping to see her, but I don’t understand what the big deal is if you trust me. You do trust me, right?” I ask as she looks away.

            “I’m not to sure about that anymore.” She says on the verge of real tears. I know I messed up. I should have told her I was going to see my friend.

            “What are you not sure about? Nothing happened. If you trust me it shouldn’t be a problem.” I say pulling her into a hug.

            “I feel like you can’t be honest with me. I know you grew up with her, but I don’t trust her. Every time I turn my back she is on your arm so fast she burns the soles of her shoes.” She said pulling out of the hug. “Lately I feel like what I want comes second to everyone around you. Like I don’t matter. And it didn’t use to be this way. But I feel like I come last to the fans and everyone else.”

            “I feel the same way, but I will always choose you. And I will always try to make it up to you.” I say trying to touch her cheek. She steps back even farther. She couldn’t bring her eyes up to mine. She was trying so hard not to cry a river of tears.

            “I think you and me should take a break.” She says.

            “Wait, why?” I ask my heart breaking at her words. This girl has broken my heart more times than I care to admit.

            “I just don’t think we are meant to be. Every time we get a chance to be together we get ripped apart. I am tired of sharing you with the world. And I’m tired of no one approving of our love. Like the public and your parents, for example.”

            “You don’t mean that,” I say as she takes another step back. I take two steps forward as she takes three steps back.

            “The sad thing is I really do.” She said a tear hitting her cheek. Wiping it away she put on a brave face.

            “You knew what it meant to have to deal with all of this before we started dating.” I tell her.

            “I know, but I just don’t think you’re worth it anymore.” She said, trying to hurt me.

            “Let’s just go sit down and talk about this.” I say as I drag her to a bench and sit her down.

            “Why don’t I go get us some water?” I ask, as I stand and enter the building. In the two minutes I was inside, she had disappeared. Not to be heard from for two years.

 

~ End of Flashback ~

 

            She sits there for a moment trying to understand why she would have been so angry about sharing a star with his best friend and the rest of the world. It didn’t make sense to her.

            “Is that it?” She asks. I wasn’t willing to say any more.

            “That’s all I’m willing to tell you.” I say. She rests her head on my chest and breaths deeply for a few minutes before asking the one question I knew she would ask, the one question I wish she could have left untouched.

            “What happens if I remember?” She turns her body and looks up at me. I blink a few times before I answer.

            “That part is entirely up to you.” I say brushing her hair out of her eyes.

            “Would I want to leave?”

            “Probably.” I say as a tear slips out.

            “That bad?” She asked kissing my cheek in the same spot that my tear fell.

            “It’s pretty bad. It was enough that if I had kept my promise to you, you wouldn’t have felt the need to leave.”

            “I don’t feel like it would have been a bad thing. You seem like a pretty trustworthy guy.”

            “I am.” I say as I hold her for another few minutes. “You’re freezing. Let’s get you back to your hotel.”

            “Can you take me on a date tomorrow?” I am shocked at her question.

            “Sure.” I say smiling. “I’ll recreate our first date.”

            “That would be romantic. Recreating how you fell in love with the girl who can’t remember anything about her past.” I nod and she just smiles at me.

            “I will pick you up around six.” I say smiling at her. Packing everything back up we slip into the back seat of a taxi. Driving up to her hotel she chose to sit in the middle seat so she could rest her head on my shoulder. Kissing her forehead she smiles and I can’t help but mimic her emotions. We would finally have another date after two years.

            “What did we do on our first date?” She asks sounding quite excited.

            “You will just have to wait until tomorrow to find out, my dear.” I say smiling at her bright eyes. We arrive at her hotel and I see Shin-hye is sitting outside. I assume she is waiting for us.

            “We need to talk,” she said in a serious tone as we get out of the taxi. “You can’t hear this, so you should go wait upstairs.” She says to the girl on my arm.

            “I’ll see you tomorrow!” She said smiling and tiptoeing so she could kiss me on the cheek. I watch her walk off into the hotel and as soon as she disappeared around the corner Shin-hye laid into me.

            “What is wrong with you?” Shin-hye asks. She is clearly annoyed with me about something.

            “Why don’t you like me?” I ask.

            “That is not what is important. What is important is that you don’t hurt my best friend. So I’ll ask again. What is wrong with you? What are your intentions with her?”

            “This is the girl I love, I intend to get her back.”

            “Did you know?” She asked.

            “Know what?” I say confused.

            “Don’t play with me.”

            “How can I play when I don’t know the game?” I ask.

            “Just answer the question I am about to ask you honestly, okay?”

            “I’ll try.” I say breathing heavily. Shin-hye is starting to get on my last nerve.

            “I think you know and even if you don’t, I think you have the right to.” I just look at her and she continues. “Did you know that when she was brought to the hospital she was pregnant?”