Jun-hyung’s Point of View

 

             I hadn’t heard anyone say it out loud since she left me two years ago. I had always wondered how she was doing with our baby. I have wanted to hold a child that doesn’t exist. I just nod my head and she scoffs at me.

            “Not able to admit what you did two years ago?” She asked. I look up at her and become a tad angry.

            “You don’t know me. You only met me the other day. How can you even say that? I can admit that I had with that woman, of course I can. She was, is and always will be the love of my life. I can never deny that. She has eaten me up body and soul. I have been in hell these past couple of years…”

            “And you don’t think she hasn’t?” She cut me off. “I watched her come and go from consciousness. And each time you know what I saw? I saw a girl so lost she wanted to forget whatever was causing her pain. She forgot you for a reason…”

            “Then why do I feel so familiar to her? Why when I first kissed her she asked why I felt so familiar and warm? Does that even make sense? She wants to remember what I was to her. She wants to know all the things that made us fall in love. I’m taking that forgetful, stubborn, beautiful girl on a date tomorrow and I’m going to do everything in my power to get her to come to love me again.”

            “And did you tell her? About the baby, I mean?” She asked me. She wanted to know if I turned her world even more upside down.

            “No. I didn’t want to upset her.” I simply say.       

            “Good, you need to keep it that way.” She said looking up at the stars. “Keep liking her if you want, but please do it from a distance.”

            “Why do you hate me so much? The more I think about it, when everyone was lining up to get my autograph you were last in line and you didn’t seem so happy to meet me.”

            “Let’s just say I know a little more than you think.” What was that supposed to mean?

            “Well, I need to get going now.” I say as I turn and leave.

            Gripping my hand basket a little tighter I walk up to my dorm. Throwing the basket to the side of the door I decide to clean it up later. I walk to the fridge and knock my head on the freezer door. What did she mean? What did she know?

            I grab the soju from the fridge and grab a clean glass from the counter. Pouring myself a glass I am about to drown myself in it when…

            “Hyung!” called Ki-kwang from behind me. I look at him as he takes the glass out of my hand. “You can’t drink that right now. Don’t you know that if you drink this when you are sad it is bad for you?” He asked pouring the contents into the plant to his left.

            “I’m going to bed,” I say standing up and walking away. I stop for a moment. “Thank you for not letting me do something bad for myself.” I walk back over to him and give him a hug. “Thank you for finding my heart. Too much longer and I would have gone insane.”

            “It wasn’t just for you. It was for all of us. We all love her in a different way. She was like a sister to the rest of us.”

            "Well, thank you." I say as I walk to my room and lay down. "Will tomorrow be any better?" I wonder aloud as I drift off to sleep.

 

~ The Next Day ~

 

            Opening my eyes I see the time. How in the world did I manage to sleep until one in the afternoon? I guess these past few days have been emotionally draining. I sit straight up and comb my fingers through my hair. Standing to wake myself even more, I go to the bathroom across the hall. Turning on the hot water I look myself in the mirror. How did all of this happen? What did I do wrong in a previous life to have to live without my soul mate for so long?

           Stepping into the shower I wash my body and towel dry myself. Grabbing up my phone before I get dressed, I make a call. I want to make sure that our place is still open and that if we show up tonight that they will have a table ready for us. The news is good, so we will have a place to go and sit and have a second first date. I quickly dress and walk out my door. After I got to the street I walked into a flower shop and got a dozen roses. If I was going to recreate our first date then I was going to recreate it down to the last detail. I got orange roses. I got the orange ones because at the time it was her favorite color. I pay and walk across the street to a candy shop. I buy her chocolate covered raisins because once again they were her favorite. I pay for her treats and walk back to my dorm.

          Putting the flowers and candy on the counter I walk into the next room and sit on the couch. I was prepared to wait the three hours until our date, when Ki-kwang comes in.

         “Hyung! Guess who I found in front of the building?” He asked excitedly.

         “Hi, Jun-hyung!” She said smiling at me and sitting next to me on the couch.

         “What are you doing here?” I ask smiling. Her smile just broadens and I put my arm around her. She laughs and turns a bit pink. Why was she embarrassed, she kissed me last night before we said good-bye.

         “I found her wondering in front of the building. I thought I would invite her up here to sit with you to wait for your date later.” Ki-kwang explained.

            “Have I ever been up here before?” She asked. I couldn’t lie to her, but if I told her that she had been up here I would have to lie about what we did. The first and only time she had been up here, we, you know?

            “Yes, you have.” I say kissing her forehead, causing her to giggle.

            “What did we do?”

            “We just hung out and enjoyed each others company.” There. That wasn’t a complete lie, right?

            “What are we going to do now? Or do you want me to leave?” She asked moving to get up. What is with this girl and always wanting to leave me all the time? I pull her back to me and softly place my lips on top of hers. Ki-kwang gets grossed out and leaves. Good. Now I can have her all to myself. I kiss her until she pushes me away, which isn’t very long. She smiles at me and I laugh. In this moment I was happy.

            “What’s so funny?” She asked.

            “Just this. Us.” I clarify. “I haven’t been like this with you in so long.” She holds my hand in hers and kisses my palm. Craning her neck she kisses my cheek very near my ear.

            “Was it always fun to be around you?” She asked kissing my lips. My turn to blush.

            “Why so pink?” She asked poking my cheek where she had kissed me.

            “Just, you know?”

            “Just what?” I pull her to me again and she laughs when I break away to tickle her.

            “Stop it!” She giggles. I kiss her cheek and check my watch. Ten minutes until our date.

            “We need to go.” I inform her. She nods and stands up and as I stand with her I feel my pocket vibrate. It’s a group text from the guys. “Good luck!” What weirdoes. I hold her hand as we walk to the kitchen. I hand her the things I bought for her.

            “How did you know orange was my favorite color? And that I like chocolate covered raisins?” I shrug and she laughs. “Can I collect these after our date?”

            “Sure.” I say walking out the front door with her. We walk silently to the restaurant and remain silent while they seat us. She is looking around at everything.

            “This is where we had our first date? It’s awfully fancy.” She commented.

            “I wanted to show you how lavish my life was. I remember I was so nervous that when I went to pour you some wine I spilled it all over your dress.”

            “Remind me to back away from the table when I need a refill.” She said laughing. We look over the menu and she orders the steak medium rare and a side salad. I just laugh.

            “What?” she asked. She smiled right along with me.

            “That is the same thing you ordered on our first date. So I’ll order what I got.” I got the chicken with baked potato.

            “So what did we talk about on our first date?”

            “Everything. About twenty minutes in was when I decided that I always wanted you near me.” She giggled. God, I have missed that. I look into her eyes staring across the table at me. I slowly stand as she leans forward.

            “Is this how you seduced me?” She asked looking into my eyes as I lean over the table. I put my hand under her chin and pull her up. She stands and I place my lips ever so lightly on hers. Holding my face she leans into the kiss and I pull away. She smiles and bites her lip as she sits back down.

            “Are you happy?” I ask. She was beaming at me.

            “I’m not happy that you were unhappy for so long, but even though I don’t remember anything I still get a sense of pleasure when I see you. It goes so deep that it feels like you were made to make my heart feel this way.” She says. That is only until she finds out why she really left.

            “Your dinner,” said the waiter placing our meals in front of us. We ate off of each other’s plates like we did before. She fed me and I fed her. We could not stop smiling at each other. I laugh when she shifts her chair away from the table as I pour her another glass of wine. After I pay we leave and she asks to lead the way.

            “Do you still not remember anything?” I ask.

            “No, why?” She asked.

            “Because this is how the other date went too.” I say as we walk into a store selling cell phone charms. She picks up a small chain that is a flashlight.

            “This would be so helpful in Busan!” She said smiling as mine vanishes. “Did I say something wrong?”

            “No! It’s just; I don’t want you to leave. I just got you back.” I say as she hugs me.

            “Don’t worry. I will keep in touch. Shin-hye is like a sister to me and she takes care of me, I’ll be in good hands when I leave this place.” She said purchasing the charm and attaching it to her phone.

            “Where to next?” I ask, trying like the devil to change the subject to something where I don’t have to think about her leaving me again. She grabs my hand and pulls me into another shop and holds up a pair of star sunglasses. I try them on and she laughs. I smile at her happy expression. I take them off and she hands me a pair that looks like a couple of TVs. I strike a pose and unbeknownst to me she takes a picture. She turns her back and I walk up to her and give her a back hug. She lets out a small laugh at the skin contact.

            “You want to buy anything from here?” I ask. She placed something on my hand. It was a price tag. It read 3,000 won. She held up my arm.

            “I want this!” She said looking at me. I drop my smile and I look deep into her eyes. She grabs my hand and leads me out of the shop. Running up the road she takes me into a photo booth. She sits me down and takes her place on my lap. Letting her lips hover over mine the booth snaps a picture. I put my hand on her thigh and she presses her lips to mine. I grab her shoulder and I hear the shutter click again. Grabbing my hair she kisses me again and all I remember is her intoxicating scent. She smiles against my lips as the final picture is taken.

            “I guess that means we have to leave.”

            “If you don’t remember anything, then how are you recreating our date exactly?” I ask frustrated.

            “Really?” She said grabbing the photos from the holder. I sit her down on the bench in the booth and kneel in front of her. I push myself on her and she just holds me. I hear the first photo snap.

            “Please don’t leave me.” I beg. Right then she did the unexpected. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward. There was nowhere for me to go but forward. Another photo snaps.

            “Make me want to stay.” She whispered as I kiss her again. The final photo snaps and we exit grabbing our second set.

            “I want to go in here.” She says. I look up at the sign. It is a fortunetellers shop. She grabs my hand and I pull her to me so there was no space in between us. I crane my head down and kiss her. She smiles and drags me into the shop. Sitting down I fear for her sanity. What if this woman was for real and told her about what really happened between us?

            “You.” Said the fortuneteller, pointing to me. “You’re hiding something from her. Don’t you think you should tell her?” I shove it off like it’s nothing. “And you. Your memories will come back soon. But are you prepared to deal with the emotional stress?” She looks worried.

            “Don’t terrorize her.” I say. The fortuneteller grabs my hand.

            “She will remember everything in due time.” She says. Externally I am relaxed, but on the inside I am terrified. “And when this happens you will become slightly depressed.” She continues. “Don’t fear the future, just like you who keeps secrets I will keep the next part of your fortune to myself.” She says. I pull my hand away and we walk to the door. The fortuneteller pulls me back inside and I make my love wait for me outside.

            “Water is the key to her remembering, but be careful, not all endings are happy.” We walk back to my dorm to collect her things. We don’t speak about what happened at the shop. Instead I just kiss her neck as we hug each other.

            “Next time will you tell me why we like to hold each other so close?” I nod. I need to be brave. I grab her hand before she has time to run. I put my hand under her chin and pull her slowly to my lips. She accepts them now with no problem. In fact she welcomes them so well that she moves in sync with them.

 

~ The Next Morning ~

 

            I wonder what I did last night to make my head hurt so badly. My arm is numb and I’m freezing. I try pulling the covers over my body, but the weird thing is, there are no covers to be pulled. I slightly open my eyes and it takes me a minute to get used to the light. I see what is weighing down my arm and I just have to smile.

            “Good morning,” I say as she opens her eyes and smiles up at me.