“Sorry that you have to change the schedule,” Hana says to Kris. She has just safely secured Taeyang in the back of Kris’s car and puts Taeyang’s summer luggage in the trunk. For summer break, he visits the countryside with Kris to spend his summer over there. It has become a family tradition.

“It’s fine,” Kris says. He glances back and forth between his irritated younger brother behind Hana. “How come you two were together?”

Hana points to her friend. “He tagged along to see Taeyang’s match today.”

“Oh.” Kris looks down. There’s a reason why he wasn’t able to make it to his son’s match. Well, more like he didn’t want to. “About that…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hana butts in. “Taeyang understands that you’re busy, and he won’t mind.” She deeply inhales and uncomfortably looks around. “I also want you to not think too much about what I asked of you the night before.”

This receives Luhan’s attention and he shamelessly includes himself into the conversation. He even purposely puts a hand around Hana’s shoulders. Ever since his mental assumption about Hana and Kris’s virtual relationship, he has become possessive. And jealous, of course. “What happened the night before?”

Both Hana and Kris ignore Luhan and quickly exchange silent glances before ending the conversation.

“I think I should know,” Luhan says. “Soon, I’m going to have legal rights over Taeyang too.”

Kris tries to keep a gentle smile as he says something to his younger brother. “Bye, Luhan. And don’t bother Hana too much.” He gives one last worried glance at the lady waving goodbye to him before he drives off.

Hana heads to the front door as she passes Luhan. “You can go now. Thanks for today.” She unlocks the door and enters in. She turns around to see her friend leave, and to a bit of her surprise, he actually listens. A little part of her had thought he’d object and would make a scene, but he actually gets inside his car, starts the engine, and drives off. Once his car’s out of her sight, she astoundingly closes the door. “Well, that’s a first.”

*

Luhan flashes the brightest smile he can do at his friend while he is on his knees on the ground. Maybe, his punishment will be something light.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hana angrily questions. Her hair is in a bun, she’s in her PJ’s, and her face is damped with water. She would’ve finished brushing her teeth had it not been for Luhan’s breaking and entering in the middle of the night. “And how did you get my house key anyway?”

“I-I was going to surprise you.”

“By doing what?” She puts her hands out. “Pretending to be a burglar and scare me?”

“Well, I—”

“—and what happened to going home?” She disappointedly exhales before speaking to herself. “I should’ve known that you had an idea when you left home without saying anything.” Exhausted from the game and the time she spent with her son and Luhan—and now this—she goes to the nearby couch and sits with her legs crossed. “Luhan. I’m tired.” She rests her head on the head rest. “Go on home, okay?”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” She snarls at him.

“Because I can’t.”

She gives him a glare to tell him that he better have a good reason.

“My house is infested.”

“Then go at a hotel or something.”

Luhan shoots up a bashful look. “Aw, you want to go there? Sure, let's go!”

“By yourself.” She clarifies.

“I can't.” He stands up abruptly and sits beside her. "I forgot my wallet cause I was in a rush."

She rolls her eyes in defeat. She knows that whatever question she throws at him, he’ll have an answer to it. “Fine.” She looks at him. “But only for tonight since you’re already here.”

His eyes brighten in response. “Thanks.”

“Here.” She stands up. “You can sleep in Kris’s room. Come.”

He follows her but doesn’t enter the room she escorts him to. Instead, he goes off somewhere from behind her.

She doesn’t realize until she has entered Kris’s room and turns around to explain a few things but doesn’t see Luhan at the door. “Luhan?” She hears him from another room and curiously follows the sound. To further her exhaustion, she sees him laying happily down on her bed. She goes at the bedside and crosses her hands over her chest. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sleeping, what do you think?” He playfully adds, “Why, you have something else in mind?” He hastily sits up on the bed. “I don’t mind if you keep me up all night.”

Hana shoves his shoulder. “Get off. This isn’t where you’re going—ahh!”

Luhan doesn’t want to hear what she’s going to say because he knows what she’s going to say, so he butts in by grabbing her arm and pulling her onto the bed as they fall backwards. “Didn’t you say that you were tired?”

She tries to escape his hold. “Let! Me! Go!” She begins poking his chest in hopes that it’ll hurt him.

To keep her safe in his chest, he wraps his legs around her legs. “No.” He even tightens his hands around her to stop her from moving.

She becomes stiff and momentarily stops. “Luhan!”

“Yes, my dear?” He calmly answers, which provokes her even more.

“If you don’t let me go this instant, I’ll—I’ll—”

Luhan looks down at her. “—oh, you’ll kiss me?”

She shoots him an angry look for his lack of cooperation. “I mean it.”

“Then do it.” He challenges.

She exhales. “No, not that, I mean—”

He shoves her entire body onto the mattress and gets on top of her and presses his lips to her. Under him, she tries her best to push him away from her. She stops when she feels one of his hands pleasantly caressing her face, as if begging for her cooperation in understanding that he needs her. When he realizes that she’s stopped moving, he slowly breaks away from the kiss and looks down at her. She looks away and smacks her lips together in embarrassment, and he lightly chuckles.

He asks, “What are you embarrassed about?”

“I’m not embarrassed,” she lies.

He gives her a peck at her cheek, which she turns to glare at him in response. “Can I sleep here with you?” He pouts at her, hoping that it’d work just like when they were young.

“No.” She points to the door. “You have to sleep in Kris’s room.”

He whines, “I don’t want to.”

She finally laughs. “What, scared?”

“No.” He smiles. The same hand continues to graze her hair and the other hand cups her cheek and caresses it. “I miss us sleeping together.”

His honest confession makes Hana’s smile slowly fades as she processes it, and memories related to it play in her mind. She recalls the times they fought over for blanket, for space, and for room temperature regulation. They had playfully protested about whose body part was molesting the other person. All of these jokes and laughs from when they were good friends, virtual spouses, and naïve teenagers sadden her.

She momentarily forgets the present and the need of protecting both boys, and as those old feelings tempt her, she whispers to him. “I do too.” She brings a hand to cup his cheek. She sheepishly gives him an answer. “Fine…but only this time.”

He beams a wide smile. “Got it.” He finally lies on his back, but he still hasn’t let her go.

But she doesn’t mind no more. What she wants most now is to be in his embrace, the embrace she always feels safe with. Then. And now. And it’ll never change. She looks up at him. “Good night, Luhan.”

He is surprised at how accepting she regarding this, and he shrugs it off in case he might lose his chance of cuddling her to sleep. “Good night, Hana.”

*

Hana feels something wrapped around her stomach and she frowns. It’s not her hands because they’re both under her cheek. So whose “—Luhan!” She flings her head back only to be smothered by him.

He grins at her and puts out a peace sign for his one-sided victory. “Morning.”

She hurriedly wipes her lips.

He mugs her for doing so.

She angrily, but playfully, shoves his chest to keep their distance. “Why are you still in bed—my bed?”

“Cause you're in bed.”

She ignores his comment. “It’s rude as a guest to still be in bed passed eight, you know.”

“I’m not a guest.”

She sneers and challenges him. “Then what are you?”

“Your lover.”

Her face immediately reddens.

He then adds a joke as he leans inward. “Or should I correct it by saying that I’m your secret lover?”

She presses a hand to his face to push him away from her. “In your dream.” As she’s about to stand up from the bed, her hand gets pulled back from him.

“You’re okay sleeping with the lights off now?” He glances at the lamp on the mini drawer. “I saw you turned it off in the middle of the night.”

This receives her attention.

They both know, back then, that she couldn’t sleep without the lights on because she needed the lights to guide her when she woke up to feed Taeyang or change his diaper; however, there was a time where she had told him the truth that it was because she never had a stable place to sleep and live, so she never got comfortable with her settings if she didn’t have any surrounding light nearby.

“Just like you, I’m okay with it off.” She says.

His follow up chuckle has an unhappy manner to it. “I told you already, didn’t I? Now, I can’t sleep with the lights off.” He sits up and scoots closer to her near the bedside. He gives her a back hug and rests his chin on her shoulder. His hands grasp her waist. “I need the lights on…to remind me that you’re not at my side.” His hands slowly reach out for hers, and he laces her fingers with his. “When…when can I sleep with the lights off? With you by my side?”

Her head gradually declines because she knows that day will never be possible. But she doesn’t want to say it because it’s going to hurt her.

And him.

She’s scared to hear his faint and wounded voice whenever he questions about their future together because she doesn’t want to accept the reality that she doesn’t see a “them” together, that their virtual happiness from years ago is their last. She exhales her depressed thoughts away and throws him a glare. “Pabo, you’re a ert.” She gives him a last push away from her before stepping off of the bed and walking out of her room.

He lightly chuckles. “Hey, you know that’s not what I meant!” He follows her out to the hallway and irritates her more by tugging on her shirt. “If you thought that, it means you wanted to do erted stuff with me, too.”

She lets out a sarcastic laugh. “As if. Ah, and you said—” she quickly turns around and bumps onto his chest. She pulls away, touching her nose. “Why are you—.”

“It hurts?” He worriedly asks.

She looks up at him and frowns. Her eyes are slightly filled with water. “Of course.” She even heard a crack. She mentally wonders if her nose is going to bleed any moment.

Apologetic, he, with one hand, removes her hand away from her nose and his other hand pulls her face towards him. He simultaneously leans to the side and closes his eyes. When he pulls back, he smiles at her. “Is this a good enough apology?”

His apology is in the form of a soft kiss at her cheek.

She bites her lower lip in anger and punches him on the arm. “What kind of apology is that?”

“The usual apology you do to Taeyang, remember?”

“Yes, for Taeyang—exclusively.” She turns around and walks again. “Not for you.”

As he enters the kitchen with her, he even follows her to the sink where she washes her hands. He leans a hand on the sink. “Hey, you used to occasionally call me ‘Taeyang Jr.’” he proudly points to himself. “So technically, I’m included.”

She smirks at him before sprinkling him with water at his face.

He pretends to get angry. He makes a face at her and says, “Oh! You asked for it!” He hugs her and starts pecking her cheeks, her neck, and her shoulders.

She becomes ticklish and she flushes. Her physical reflexes make her respond by pulling up her shoulders or squealing in his embrace. She knows he’s going to continue, so she threatens him that she’ll throw more water at him.

He pulls back, momentarily. “Ah, so you want to go further?”

She laughs at his joke and turns around to face him. “Stop this.” She whines to him, “I want to cook.”

“Can I eat you instead?”

She heaves a loud sigh to imply that she’s tired of his erted jokes, even though, deep inside, she’s kind of happy. Her heart immensely paces when she hears those kinds of comments, and her face becomes red, her body fills with heat, and she is unable to think or even see anything around her.

But him.

He and his beaming face that brings a smile to her own.

He and his beautiful, tender lips that speak such honest truths that she can’t resist.

He and his warm hands that touch every inch of her skin and electrify it.

He and his broad shoulders that she wants to always be forever in its embrace.

He and his—

“Hey,” he interrupts her mental train of thoughts. “Are you really that hungry?”

She doesn’t answer. Those wild, heated emotions have overtaken her body since who knows when, and she’s standing there, looking down, and softly whimpering.

He panics and tries to cheer her up. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be so hungry that you’d cry.” He turns off the faucet behind her and tries to search for something that he can change the subject to. “U-um, do-do you want me-me to, um, help you w-with anything?” He hastily goes to the stove and turns it on. “Hmm, should I prepare something I—”

Hana abruptly grabs onto his shirt with one hand, and she minimizes the distance between them by walking over to where he’s standing at. “…Luhan.”

“Hm?” He perks up. He doesn’t look back at her though.

“…If…if you…” She’s not supposed to ask this question; in fact, she knows the answer—her answer—but she wants to know his. “…if you can never “eat” me…will you still…still love me?”

He momentarily pauses. He knows the underlying meaning she wants to get across and he understands it. “Pabo.”

He doesn’t turn around, but one of his hands takes hold of her free hand at her side and he clasps them together. With a quiet, tender, and sweet tone, he whispers an assurance to her. “I don’t want to just eat you.” He squeezes their hands together and he drops his head to gently rest on her head behind him. He pauses to look up at the ceiling before closing his eyes. “I want to eat with you, and I want to eat by you.”

She processes his declaration.

And her heart squeezes with pain.

And her eyes overflow with tears of hurt.

And quivers with fear.

Why does she love him so much? Why does he love her so much? She purposely moves away without him to make him angry and make him hate her so much that when she does plan to return, he won’t even bat an eye at her. That way, she can live her life protecting both boys.

And her heart from loving him further.

She sniffs and closes the distance between him and her even more. She even presses her head onto his back. “I love you,” is what she can only say in a hushed voice.

It’s also the words she’s waited to say.

It’s also the words she wants to only say to him.

It’s also the words she wants to say all the time to him.

But it’ll never happen.

Because it can’t.

It mustn’t.

*

Inguk scratches the part on his head where he was hit with Eunji’s hand. “Gosh, builder-woman, I’m not a block.”

Both of the guests are sitting, patiently, in the waiting room out of Luhan’s office. Both of them have a different reason for stopping by, though. She’s here to discuss about the further construction of the new building, and he’s here to drop off a few things that Luhan had asked for from early morning. Although he could’ve just left it with the secretary, he wants an answer about why Luhan would need this.

“You are a block,” she says to him from the opposite side of the room. “What are you doing here anyway? It’s unusual to see you around this time of the day.”

“Oh ho ho.” Inguk devilishly grins. “You want to see more of me?”

“I’d only wish you’d stop hanging around with Luhan because you’re a bad influence.”

Inguk laughs at her comment because he and Luhan are both adults, so how can he be a bad influence to another adult? But as they’re on the subject of Luhan, and with the items he brought, he is reminded of the relationship he has recently found out between Luhan, Taeyang, and Hana. The fact that he knows about it…he has a guilty conscious of having to keep it from someone.

Eunji.

“You don’t have to tell me about it,” she blurts out.

“Huh?” He fearfully gives her a blank look, in hopes that it’s not something related to his thoughts.

“Your expression just then tells me you have something you want to say…” she looks away, “but you can’t. Right?” She returns her look at him again and smiles. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“Builder-woman.” He exaggerates his flashy expression at her. “You’ve proved your ability to understand people and not concrete rocks!”

“Shut up!” She holds in her laughter.

“OH!” Inguk stands up in surprise. He points a finger at her, which offends her.

“Hey, pointing is rude.”

“No, no!” He rushes over to her side. “You cut your hair! And-and!” He brings his hand to his eyes and flickers his lashes with his index finger. “You curled them and put on that thing!” As he comes closer and puts his face near hers to see her face up close, he continues pointing out his new findings on her face. “And-and-and you’re wearing lip gloss!” He pulls back and then sighs. “You know, that color doesn’t match you. You should—”

She embarrassingly and angrily pushes his head back with force. “That’s ual harassment!”

He stands up in rage and scoffs. “Oi! Who’d want to harass a builder-woman like you?!”

“Hey,” someone says.

The two of them look at the direction of the voice and see Luhan. He’s wearing a light gray sweater and jeans. This shocked them because they hardly see Luhan wear something of the sort. He’s always readily in his business attire.

Next to him is Hana in denim, light blue shorts and a white, striped tank top under a peach cardigan. Her hair seems to be rushed as it’s in a bun. Strung on her shoulder is a dark brown purse, and in her hands is her cell phone.

Because Inguk knows of the relationship of the two, he secretly cheers for their entrance together. When he catches the realization that Hana is here with Luhan at Luhan’s workplace, he opens his mouth to speak, but is beaten to it.

“Hana,” starts Eunji, “how come you’re here with Luhan?”

“Lu—um—Mr. Lu says that there’s a need of discussion with the filming studio about Taeyang for the commercial logo. We didn’t get to speak with them last time.”

Luhan lets the ladies talk and instead, goes over to his buddy. “You got it?”

Inguk nods and walks over to the bag to hand it to his friend. “Here.”

“What’s that?” Eunji asks, when she sees the exchange.