Junho ran out from the apartment and into the street, ignoring the waves of people filling the night as he flew to the park nearby. His heart was breaking, his inside was falling apart and he felt like he could die from the heartbroken? Could you really die from the heartbroken? Because Junho was sure he could.

He waited for Chansung for almost five years—he gave his heart to no one, letting no one took even one step into his heart no matter how many people begged him to. He stayed faithful towards his lover and he got betrayal in return. It hurts to admit that he was fooling himself all these years, trusting that Chansung would also stay loyal to him—to their love.

He thought that—that he at least meant something towards the younger—important enough for Chansung to keep him and him only in his heart.

“Nuneo, stop running away—”

Chansung caught his arm and he came to an abrupt stop on his movement, his tears were falling soundlessly against his cheek and suddenly, he felt so weak. He felt so weak against Chansung’s touch because it was his touch he had been missing since he left Korea years ago—it was Chansung he had been yearning for and—Chansung yearned for someone else.

“Let me go,”

He whispered through his sob, he didn’t care if Chansung knew he was crying because he wanted him to at least feel his pain.

“I miss you,”

The whisper from the younger was soft and strained with something he couldn’t decipher and he took a sharp gasp when his once other half wrapped his arms around him, giving him a back hug that triggered so many beautiful memories at the back of his mind.

“I really miss you,”

Chansung whispered against his nape and he hurt a little bit more when he could feel his nape getting wet.

“N-No, you’re not. Because if you do, you won’t chose Wooyoung when I was not here.”

Junho felt Chansung stiffened at the mention of the name and that action was enough to spark some anger within him, the lost emotion he should feel the first moment he knew about Chansung’s betrayal. He was too busy crying over his broken heart to realize that he had been holding the anger in him.

“Let me go, and go to Wooyoung. It is him you choose after all.”

Chansung let go of him and turned him around, gripping his shoulder so tight but he couldn’t bring himself to complain about that. He settled down his gaze on everywhere except Chansung, letting his tears falling down helplessly.

“I never stop choosing you Junho. I missed you so much these past five years and a year after you were gone, we both become so busy that we barely had the time for each other. Then it change to where we didn’t talk at all and—”

“And that’s when you stop forgetting about our promise? Just because we stop contacting each other, then you decide it’s better to cheat on me?”

He hissed, looking up to stare right into Chansung’s eyes and growled when he saw Chansung was looking at him with torn expression.

“We made a promise Chansung, we ing made a promise. I came back home with a hope to find you again, because not for a moment I stop loving you—”

“And neither do I!”

Chansung cut him strongly and Junho pushed him so hard until he staggered backwards.

“ that ! If you really didn’t stop loving me, you won’t even look at Wooyoung at the first place! If I really did mean something to you, you won’t let him step into your heart! If you love me enough, you should know how to value me more than this!”

“Nuneo, please—”

“Don’t ing call me that! You don’t have the right to from the moment you forgot about me!”

He yelled, realizing that he had stop crying during his outburst and he looked away from the younger when Chansung looked at him with that expression. The one he would give him five years ago when Chansung wanted to convey his love—when he wanted to show Junho that he was the only one for him. The one when Junho wasn’t having any confidence in himself at all and by that look, Chansung told him that he’s perfect enough for him.

But that was five years ago, where he was the only one for Chansung. But now, he’s not sure anymore. Because he believed that Chansung had look at Wooyoung with the same way.

“How can I forget someone who gives so much to remember?”

Chansung whispered through the heavy night—through his heavy tears and somehow, through his heavy love towards Junho. Those words were enough to bring tears to Junho’s eyes again, but it’s not a tear in anger—but in sadness, disappointment and pain.

The image of their secret kisses, their cuddling session on the couch after class ended, their date, Chansung’s birthday surprise, their moment at their secret hill, their childish jealousy—they all came once to him and suddenly he felt regretful. Why did Chansung have to betray him? Why couldn’t he just wait for him like he did so that when he came back to Korea again, they wouldn’t have to fight like this?

But then, Wooyoung succeed in finding his way to Chansung’s heart and that was enough to prove that Wooyoung was special. It was not easy to touch the younger’s heart, Junho knew it—he experienced it.

“But then...it’s enough to know that I don’t give you so much to remember, isn’t? Because Wooyoung clearly gave you something to remember more than me.”

He said, his voice was helpless and—he gave up. Chansung shook his head, crying before he fell on his knees, wrapping his arms around his waist and Junho stood there in silent. It’s hard to admit it—but Chansung broke their promise. Maybe he could forget someday, but not forgave.

“It’s time Chansung, you know it.”

Junho looked down, blinking as his tears clouded his eyes again at the sight of Chansung crying so hard against his stomach.

“No Nuneo, I love you, please don’t do this to me. I still love you like five years ago, I never stop loving you. Please Nuneo, don’t do this to me. I know I’m at fault, but don’t leave me—”

He ran his finger through Chansung’s hair and cried silently when he realized it didn’t feel the same anymore. Chansung tore him apart to the point he couldn’t see them in as a perfect picture like it did once ago.

“That’s Junho for you,”

Junho said between his sobs and pulled himself away from the warmth. He wanted that warmth—he longed for it but Chansung destroyed the only chance they had. With that, he walked away from the park, with Chansung’s cries echoing in the silent night.

****

The next morning Nichkhun woke up, it was because of the persistent knock on his apartment door. Pouting when his sleep was disturbed, he quickly sat up and rushed towards the entrance, hoping that Wooyoung was still sleeping because he knew the younger needed as much as he sleep he could.

“Took you long enough,”

Was the first thing he heard that day, and apparently, Minjun didn’t look so happy. Blinking in confusion, he stepped back, letting the older walked in and he wondered in silent where the hell Taec could be right now. Because his best friend was nothing if not sticking like a glue with his boyfriend.

“Where’s Taec?”

He asked, voice still thick in sleep and Minjun took off his coat, throwing it on the couch and went straight to Taec’s room.

“He’s with Chansung at my place now. That kid came home late, crying like crazy and it took Taec hours to calm him down.”

Nichkhun chuckled and absentmindedly caught Minjun’s arm when the older wanted to open the door to Taec’s bedroom. The other looked at him in confusion and he blushed slightly at his own reaction. And to be honest, it was out of possessiveness because he didn’t want anyone to disturb Wooyoung’s sleep – not even Minjun.

“He’s still fast asleep. Let him be—I’ll serve you the breakfast.”

Nichkhun tried to offer without giving Minjun any subtle hint of his feelings towards Wooyoung. He looked away when he swore Minjun was smiling at him teasingly and walked off to the kitchen without waiting for the older’s answer.

When he was sure the older had safely sat at the kitchen counter, he started to make the breakfast, taking the turkey toast in the chiller and went to grill the pieces, letting the delicious aroma filled the small kitchen.

“So, it’s weekend,”

Minjun started and Nichkhun hummed, taking two white buns from the counter and cut it open at the center, wiping mayonnaise before he put the buns into the oven too.

“So, what’s your plan today?”

Turning to face Minjun, Nichkhun leaned against the counter comfortably and offered him a smile at the plan he had been planning inside his mind today.

“I’m going to Junho today,”

The older frowned. “What? He didn’t even reply to my mail! That brat!”

Chuckling at the clear dissatisfaction written all over Minjun’s face, he took out the white buns and the turkey slices, adding vegetables and sauce before serving them to Minjun.

“Only two?”

The older asked in confusion and he nodded, a small laughter escaped his lips.

“Yeah—I’m going right now, so eat this with Wooyoung.”

With that, he left the kitchen to get ready, but not before he stopped at Taec’s room. Pondering in hesitation for a while, he took a deep breath and opened the door, peeking inside the dark room to found Wooyoung was sleeping, looking all comfortable under the thick blanket.

Unable to bear the cute sight in front of him, he stepped into the room silently and kneeled beside the bed, fingers running through the soft hair and cooed when Wooyoung whimpered like a baby. He knew he should pull back his hands before Wooyoung woke up but—he wanted to see the younger before he went to Junho later. He wanted Wooyoung to see him before he disappeared for the day.

“H-hyung?”

Wooyoung opened his eyes sleepily and Nichkhun smiled in affection, bringing down his fingers to the chubby cheeks and caressed the skin with his knuckles, chuckling when Wooyoung leaned into his touch like a grown up baby.

“Hyung, where are you going?”

The younger whined, catching his hand and Nichkhun’s heart skipped a beat at the gesture. He squeezed the small hand in his with unstoppable affection.

“I’m going to Junho, and you’ll be staying with Minjun-hyung today. Be a good boy for me, okay?”

He asked in a small voice, like he was talking to a child and Nichkhun could see clearly the waver in Wooyoung’s eyes when he mentioned Junho’s name before it disappeared the moment after. The younger hummed sleepily at his request.

“I’ll be a good boy for you hyung.” He paused and Nichkhun waited, as always. “—but come back fast.”

He blinked at the last line and pulled the cover up to Wooyoung’s chin when he saw the younger shivered involuntary.

“You’re going to be here when I come back?”

Smiling shyly, Wooyoung nodded and Nichkhun almost beamed in happiness.  He never knew the day where he would come back to his apartment and having Wooyoung waiting for him would turned into reality, although only the picture was true, not the story behind it.

“Then, I’ll be fast.”

With that, he leaned in, kissing his temple with heated face and headed out, slowly feeling his concern towards Junho grew stronger as the time ticked away.

*****

Nichkhun walked past his favorite bakery, ignoring the delicious aroma coming from the bread shop with everything he had in favor to go and meet Junho fast. He took the right route and walked faster, hugging the sweater closer when the weather became colder.

He then walked past a certain park and took out his phone, checking on the mail that he received from Junho to make sure that the address was correct. When he was sure of it, he walked faster and less than minutes, he was standing in front of certain door, knocking patiently.

He heard a faint sound of footsteps from inside and when Nichkhun blinked again, a messy Junho appeared in his line of vision, eyes red and puffy, nose running, messy hair and Nichkhun’s heart softened at the sight before him. Without being able to stop himself, he reached forward and caressed the right cheek with unbearable affection, smiling softly when Junho automatically leaned into his touch.

“Hyung,”

Junho sighed out his name and Nichkhun stepped in, pulling Junho into his arms and inhale the natural scent of the younger.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

Junho shook his head against his chest silently, snuggling into his embrace in hope for some warmth and Nichkhun was going to give him just that. He might not know Junho for the longest time, but he had cared for him like he was one of the most precious people for him.

“Have you eaten anything?”

Junho shook again and Nichkhun felt something tugged at his heart. Did Junho spend the night alone, crying? Who was there for Junho when he was at his weakest state? Why Junho didn’t call for anyone?

“I’ll prepare some hot bath for you, then make the breakfast, then we’re going to sleep until we can’t anymore, got it?”

Nichkhun muffled against Junho’s hair and the younger nodded weakly. Pulling away from the embrace, he took Junho’s hand and led them towards the bathroom, mistaken it for the bedroom the first time and quickly prepared some hot bath, adding some nice fragrance oil and turned around, finding Junho standing at the entrance door helplessly, not even a sound coming out from his mouth.

“Junho-yah,”

Junho looked up, but his gaze was distant and lost—and contained so much pain that it hurts Nichkhun’s heart. Nichkhun reached forward and took Junho’s hand, squeezing it affectionately, bringing Junho’s attention fully back on him.

“I’m going to make the breakfast. Get some nice bath yeah? I’ll put the towel in the basket later, okay?”

Junho hummed faintly, a slightest smile was playing at his sad lips and—Nichkhun was glad. At least Junho was able to smile, even it was a fake one. After making sure Junho had safely sit in the bathtub, he walked out and rushed to the kitchen, making a quick breakfast which contained a plate of delicious spaghetti and a cup of hot coffee.

After spending about ten minutes in the kitchen, he went to check on Junho and panic when the bathroom was empty. He ran to the bedroom and let out a relief sigh when Junho was sitting on the edge of the bed with new clothes, his hair was still wet and the water was dripping down the side of his face.

Chuckling at the pout on Junho’s face, he reached for the small towel and went to kneel behind Junho, tilting the younger’s head gently and started to dry the wet hair.

“Are you hungry?”

Nichkhun asked, desperate to hear the younger’s voice for no reason and Junho only hummed in response. Disappointed but understanding the younger’s behavior at the same time, he continued to dry the wet hair until it was almost dry before he stood up, taking the hand in his as gentle as he could and led them both to the kitchen.

“I hope this is okay,”

Nichkhun said when he served the plate of spaghetti and smiled when Junho beamed, patting the empty space beside him. The light in Junho’s eyes was getting brighter and at least, the boy seemed alive at this moment. He watched Junho ate in silence and ate with him the moment after when Junho pouted at his refusal. When they finished eating their breakfast, Junho yawned sleepily and he ran his fingers through the black hair, chuckling when Junho leaned into his touch almost automatically.

“Let’s go to bed.”

With that, they left the kitchen and snuggled under the comfy blanket with Nichkhun adjusting the temperature of the room. It’s getting chiller and winter just around the corner. When they settled nicely on the bed, Junho wasted no time in jumping into his arms, breathing against his neck and Nichkhun hugged the younger back without hesitation at all.

—because Junho deserved all the love.

He caressed the hair and ran his hand up and down the smooth back, seducing Junho to sleep and wished that the eye bags would be gone by the time Junho woke up again. But his thought was interrupted by something wet on his neck and he instinctively tightened his grip around the shivering body.

“Junho-yah,”

“—it hurts hyung,”

He heard Junho’s voice for the first time in that day and the light in Nichkhun’s eyes gone when the first thing Junho talked about was Chansung. He must have suffered too much because of Chansung.

“What hurts?”

He whispered in small voice and be the witness when Junho’s broken cries escaped his lips.

“Everything is—his betrayal, his promise—his smile, his gaze—his love, everything hurt me. I trusted him for five years—and he gave me this.”

Junho sobbed some more and Nichkhun didn’t even want to imagine on how much pain Junho was bearing right now.

“He, he promised me that I will always be the only one for him—that he will love no one else but me—kiss no one else but me—and I trusted him. I kept myself faithful while he’s being happy with Wooyoung. I fought against the loneliness during times I missed him so much whilst he’s laughing with Wooyoung. Hyung—it hurts,”

Junho cried out and Nichkhun felt his eyes getting wet at the broken words, only to cry the moment after when he heard the next words escaping Junho’s lips.

“But what hurt me the most was—when he pleaded for me to not leaving him yesterday, he never said that he would stop choosing Wooyoung—he never said that he would leave the other to be with me. He never said that—”

And all Nichkhun could hear after that was only cries and sobbing and Nichkhun’s heart shattered. If Chansung wouldn’t leave Wooyoung, then it meant that Wooyoung wouldn’t leave Chansung too. Well, of course he wouldn’t. Why would Nichkhun ever think that Wooyoung would leave Chansung just because of that? Maybe—maybe right now, he wasn’t waiting for him at all. Maybe right now, the couple was sorting things out and maybe—they were happy right now.

And this meant that—that he wouldn’t even get to reach Wooyoung.

A pain shot up straight to his heart and Nichkhun felt the pain in his throat when he tried to stop his cries from escaping his lips. How pathetic—he was here to try to mend Junho’s broken heart, only to get one in return.

Everyone said that first love was beautiful, breathtaking, involving some fireworks and hearts all around. But not to him—not to Nichkhun.

****

A/N : So so busy these days! T____T Well, here you go! And please don't go and kill me for this. I love you all! ^3^