"Baekhyun you can't." Yixing's voice is firm and his hold tight on the younger male's arm, but Baekhyun doesn't let that faze him. He had made up his mind. Even if it's against his better judgement, he knew he had to do this. For his children. For whatever future they were going to have after the divorce is official. Baekhyun pried his arm out of Yixing's hold.

"I have to, Yixing hyung." Baekhyun said in a soft voice, eyes unable to meet Yixing's out of fear. He didn't want to see the disappointment that was sure to be in those warm brown eyes. Baekhyun already felt bad about it as it was, and he didn't want to feel even more like crap.

Yixing sighed and raised his voice just slightly, "I don't understand why you have to do this, Baek. I don't know why you think you don't have a choice."

"Because I don't and you know it," Baekhyun replied simply. "I'm going to lose them if I don't do this. You said so yourself. I stand little chance against Chanyeol if I don't have financial stability. I'm running out of time and this is really the best solution there is left."

"I don't like it. Not one bit," Yixing frowned, folding his arms into a cross.

"I'm not asking for your permission, Yixing hyung. I'm not even asking for you to understand why I have to do this. I'm just asking that you respect my decision," Baekhyun replied with a hint of desperation in his tone, "I can't lose them. I just can't."

Yixing knew where Baekhyun was coming from. He was expecting a daughter in a few week's time, and though she wasn't here yet, he would do anything to make sure she got the best he could provide. It was a little easier for him. He was a lawyer; he made great money. Baekhyun on the other hand, had depended on Chanyeol for most of his life. Even before that, he hadn't had the opportunity to gain much experience in something other than the F&B line. Yixing wasn't pleased, and he certainly wasn't going to approve of it, but he was starting to understand Baekhyun's plight.

"Just... be careful, okay? And promise me, if something better comes by, you better take it," Yixing warned out of pure concern.

"I will. It's not like I'm planning to do this for long anyway." Baekhyun gave a grim smile. "But you have to promise me something as well."

Yixing knew even before Baekhyun told what the younger male was going to say, but he pursed his lips and gave a slight, hesitant nod anyway.

"Don't tell anyone about it. Especially Chanyeol."

+++

"Jongin, did you listen to what I said?" Baekhyun chided as he slid down the ground from the couch to lean back against it beside his son. The sound effects coming from the fighting game Jongin was playing on his wii drowned out Baekhyun's voice. Baekhyun resorted to muting the tv, causing Jongin to pause the game to look at his father.

"Sorry daddy," Jongin said regretfully. Baekhyun waved his hand dismissively.

"It's fine. I was asking if you had any objections to the arrangement."

"You mean, you going away to work while I stay at home or Kyungsoo's place?" Jongin asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yes, but are you sure you'll be okay? Because I'm going to be home around midnight everyday," Baekhyun explained with slight worry creasing into his forehead.

"Then who's going to cook lunch and dinner for me?" Jongin pouted. Baekhyun laughed, relieved that Jongin wasn't too concerned about staying home alone, or the fact that Baekhyun was going to be out till late. 

"I'll prepare your food before I leave for work. You can just heat it up in the oven when you want to eat, okay? Does it sound alright?"

"Yeah, okay. But daddy..." Jongin scrunched his nose in thought. "Why must you work? Doesn't appa give you money anymore?"

Baekhyun felt pricked at the question, but he doesn't let it show. Instead, he slung an arm around his son's shoulder to pull him in closer, using his other hand to run his fingers through his soft locks.

"Because when two people are divorced, they don't share anything anymore. So appa's money is appa's money, and my money is mine. I want to give Sehunnie and you whatever you want, Jongin, that's why I have to work. To earn so that you can have everything," Baekhyun explained as easily as he could. 

"Talking about Sehunnie... when is he going to come home, daddy?" Jongin asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. Baekhyun couldn't help but to giggle.

"Am I dreaming?" He asked as he pretended to pinch himself. "Are you really asking about your brother? You miss him, don't you?"

"Only because it's so quiet in the house without his annoying humming!" Jongin defended himself in a fluster. "And he's my baby brother after all..." Jongin muttered sheepishly under his breath, making Baekhyun grin widely. He ruffled his son's hair, and Jongin ducked.

"He'll be home soon. Then we'll be complete again."

Baekhyun didn't know how soon was soon, but with a clearer picture of the future in mind, Baekhyun wasn't so afraid to hope for the best anymore.

+++

"What's this I hear about you going back to work?" Chanyeol asked, voice a little harsher than he'd intended for it to be, as his estranged husband walked into the office. It's been a long time since he'd seen Baekhyun in here. The last time had probably been months, or maybe even years, ago when Baekhyun would drop by for a surprise visit during lunch with bento boxes and a then-toddler Sehun wrapped in a moby wrap. Now, Baekhyun looked like he'd rather be elsewhere than with Chanyeol alone in the office.

The air felt heavy and thick with the insufferable tension between them.

"You're playing a dirty game, and I just needed to get myself equipped for the battle that you and I know is to come," Baekhyun declared as confidently as he could, though he found that he couldn't look into Chanyeol's eyes. Those goddamn eyes have always been his weakness. Even when they turned cold and hostile towards him over the years, Baekhyun never failed to see the ghost of the love that was once housed in them for him.

Chanyeol let out a humourless snort. "Are you seriously pinning the blame on me for this one as well? You only have yourself to blame, Baekhyun. The kids have lost their faith in you. You can't possibly expect them to choose uncertainty over me."

Baekhyun squared his shoulders and argued, "I'm going to give them more, Chanyeol. Everything they need, and want. I've explained things to Jongin, and--"

"--Jongin? How about Sehun? Forgot you had another son?" Chanyeol mocked, though he quicky bit back on his words. He sounded cruel, and it hadn't been his intention to put the other down. His jaw locked and he looked hard at Baekhyun who was still reeling from the verbal attack.

It was awhile later before Baekhyun finally spoke up, eyes now focused on the carpet beneath his feet. "I'm working on that."

It was a weak comeback, and not enough of a defense to his reckless actions that had hurt his son, but Chanyeol dropped his tough stance and though there were no traces of a smile on his face, he still managed to look visibly softer, the scowl edging out of the lines in his face.

"Where are you working at?" Chanyeol asked out of genuine curiousity, opting to change the subject instead. Baekhyun relaxed, the tension and fight in him draining away as he unclenched his fists, looking up at the other.

"Some restaurant," Baekhyun told a white lie. It wasn't entirely one. It was somewhat a restaurant though it didn't sell full course meals. And alcohol was more of a norm, but that was something he figured he needed to keep to himself. Luckily, Chanyeol left it at that.

"I wish you luck with that, then." Chanyeol gave a light shrug.

"Thanks," Baekhyun said, "Listen... about Sehun."

Chanyeol gave a heavy sigh. "I've told you, Baekhyun, he doesn't want to see or speak to you."

"I know," Baekhyun bit down on his lip. "But you have to let me, anyway. How am I supposed to apologize if he won't speak to me?"

"But you know how he can get. He's going to throw a major tantrum, Baekhyun."

"Then so be it. I can't think of a way to get him to start talking to me again. I don't know what to do to fix this! I really don't know, okay!" Baekhyun cried a little too loudly. As if realizing his sudden loss of composure, Baekhyun became flustered and excused himself.

"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol mumbled, surprised at Baekhyun's outburst and sheepishly bringing a hand to the back of his neck.

"It's okay, Chanyeol. I'll think of something. I have to go now," Baekhyun rushed through his words before making a beeline for the door. 

+++

It's the day Baekhyun was to go to the place he had left years ago, and Baekhyun was nothing short of nervous. He wondered if thr owner of the bar would still want to employ him even though he was already in his twenties. There was no doubt Baekhyun wasn't as attractive as he'd been in his earlier years but he really hoped the man would give him a chance to prove that he had what it took to make the business thrive. After all, one would excel in whatever he did if he was determined enough and Baekhyun was borderline desperate to get his life on track and his family pieced back together. 

After his less-than-desirable meeting with Chanyeol about Sehun, Baekhyun had gone to the hospital during his youngest's therapy class. He had quietly watched his performance, and afterwards, the trainer in charge had pulled him outside and told of her concerns about Sehun's regression for the past few lessons. She had asked of the reason behind his repeated setbacks and Baekhyun had explained that things back home weren't very amicable. Of course, her most pressing concern was if the situation could be resolved for it was detrimental to let things go on as they were. Baekhyun said he would do the best he could, but after class, when he'd gone to greet Sehun, his son merely glared at him with his baby eyes and refused to go up to him. Baekhyun tried apologizing and persuading his son but as Chanyeol had predicted, Sehun threw the biggest tantrum. He was wailing and shrieking as he kept his hands on both ears in an attempt to drown out Baekhyun's words. Desperate to get his child to stop in case Sehun wore himself out, Baekhyun reluctantly gave up just as Chanyeol had walked in to pick him up from his class. Baekhyun had left with angry red scratches on his arms courtesy of a raging Sehun, an acidic accusatory glare from Chanyeol, and a heart so heavy he almost cried there and then. He had never felt as helpless as he had back when he had nobody but himself.

Instead of crying, though, Baekhyun took the pain he felt as motivation to do well for his job. Soon. Things will be better soon.

As he pulled up in front of the place he had thought he would never see again, his heart thrummed hard against his chest. Baekhyun felt like a man on death row when he walked through the doors and took in the familiar sight. The place was completely refurnished, giving it an edgier look and a more modern feel, but Baekhyun would have recognized the place even if it had changed. The feeling he got whenever he was there was exactly the same as it had been years ago, and Baekhyun subconsciously rubbed at his arms as if trying to rid himself of the disgust he felt. 

Baekhyun found that he wasn't able to take another step when a wave of bitter memories came crashing down on him, but fortunately, a deep authoritative voice pulled him out of the self-inflicted haze he had temporary built.

"Can I help you?" Someone gruffly asked. He was tall, maybe even taller than Chanyeol, and he had a piercing gaze that was complemented by his nicely dyed blonde hair. Charisma oozed from his appearance, his sense of fashion admirable and Baekhyun felt a little out of place standing before him in his overused sweater and destroyed jeans.

"I-I'm here to work," Baekhyun stuttered, clearly bothered by the man's overwhelming presence.

The man studied Baekhyun with narrowed eyes, arms pulling into a cross. "We don't just hire anybody, kid."

"I've worked here before. Twelve years ago," Baekhyun said with an air of confidence. He winced internally at twelve. It's a pointed reminder that it's the number of years he's ever going to be with Chanyeol.

"Twelve? How old are you?" The man's interest was piqued, now curious as to why a kid would want to work in a place like that.

"I'm twenty-eight, sir. And I've worked here for about two years when I was sixteen."

"And you left because?" The man was no longer as intimidating as he was at first glance. Instead, Baekhyun felt himself relaxing, the man seemingly taking on an elder's role.

"Because I got married," Baekhyun replied simply. He didn't really know how else to answer the question.

"Well, then, why are you back here?" The man demanded.

"Because..." Baekhyun bit down on his lip, glancing away briefly. "Because I need the money."

The man continued to stare hard at Baekhyun, as if contemplating him. Baekhyun waited patiently, not knowing what else to say, but when a minute passed, Baekhyun realized that he needed to take matters into his own hands. He needed it and he couldn't afford to be turned away.

"Please, mister," Baekhyun pleaded, "I really need this. I'll do anything for you to give me a chance. I know it's been a long time since I've done this, and that I'm probably not as appealing as I used to be--"

"--You're gorgeous." The man cut him off with a smile that was neither condescending nor creepy. In fact, it was friendly.

"W-What?" Baekhyun blinked, not quite understanding that he had just been complimented.

"I said, you look perfect for the job. Your face, your lips, those collarbones. Nice upper body that tapers off into a sharp waistline," the man muttered, eyeing every part he was giving praises to. Finally, he looked back up into Baekhyun's eyes. "And those eyes. They're pretty."

"Thank you, I guess?"

"You're hired." the man said and turned around to move into one of the back rooms. He signalled for Baekhyun to follow along. "You said you got married. Will your husband be okay with you doing such a job?"

"We're getting a divorce," Baekhyun replied thickly, unable to disguise the bitterness and overwhelming sadness in his tone.

"Well, that's a good thing, I guess. It's none of my business but I really wonder why anyone would want to let go of someone as gorgeous as you."

+++

The first few nights on the job were simple and safe. His boss, the blonde man he later came to find out as Kris Wu, made him do small tasks like cleaning of the tables and countertops for a start. Baekhyun was a little glad he did because he hadn't exactly warmed up to the idea of being treated like a thing by the customers. On his fourth night, however, he did have an encounter with a thoroughly drunk man in his fifties who had d at his as he was wiping the table. It was less innocent than the things he used to experience back then but it still drove him to one of the bathroom stalls during his break where he sat on the closed lid of the toilet, feeling utterly repulsed with himself and letting the tears stain his cheeks. But then Kris' voice resonated in the washroom, loud and clear saying, "If you can't handle the job then you might as well quit now" and Baekhyun thought of his sons who were counting on him to give them a better life, and he was immediately up on his feet, wiping at his cheeks with a new sense of determination.

By the second week, a week before Jongin was to pay for his trip, Baekhyun had grown disensitized at the crude gestures and words the customers would throw at him. He was back at square one in his life, with no one, and Baekhyun felt like it was all déjà vu. Maybe he was really meant to be here after all. Maybe it took twelve years to make him realize that this is all he was ever going to be. 

"Baekhyun, I'm promoting you." Kris announced as they're closing up for the night that week. Baekhyun paused, looking up from the counter where he was dragging his rag across. A promotion could only mean a better pay, which made Baekhyun relieved. The money he was getting for the past two weeks were decent, but it was only enough for daily expenses and not for the trip. 

"You know what that means, don't you?" Kris asked uncertainly, looking to the small male for any signs of discomfort. Baekhyun's face fell a little at the other realization. A shudder ran through his body and he quietly resumed his task.

"I do," he whispered, only loud enough for his boss to hear.

"If you're not comfortable with it then you can just stick to the tables. There's nothing wrong with that. But it'll be your loss, not mine."

"No, I'm okay with it," Baekhyun rushed to correct himself. "You'll pay me more, won't you?"

"Yes, 1.5 times more than what you earn now. Including commission for every repeat customer."

Dread sat as heavy as lead in the pit of his stomach at Kris' words. It's for his kids. It's for Jongin. It's for Sehun. It's for their chance at a good life without Chanyeol, is what he keeps telling himself.

+++

Tonight Baekhyun would be introduced to his first client. For the past few days, Kris had aggressively promoted him as their newest addition to the "family" and many had taken great interest in the stunning male. There was no doubt that the bar would be packed with customers, all wanting to get some time with the new .

Baekhyun was early for work. The moment Kris set his eyes upon him, he flashed the biggest smile Baekhyun had ever seen.

"Man, you're really something, aren't you?" Kris greeted as he gently turned the other around, wanting to get a good look at him. He nodded to himself, satisfied.

"You're going to bring in lots of customers on your own." Baekhyun's expression remained nonchalant. 

"Wipe that frown off your face okay? Smile for the customers," Kris reminded, albeit gently. Baekhyun managed to force a smile out. 

"Okay, I will."

His first customer was some young guy, only a few years younger than he was. All he wanted to do was to sit and talk as Baekhyun listened to all his troubles. It was kind of funny and Baekhyun felt like he was giving a counseling session. The next few were rather blunt, wanting to touch Baekhyun at every chance they got. Baekhyun merely sat rigidly on the luxury sofa in the back room while they did as they pleased. Though clients weren't allowed to request for ual favours, it didn't stop them from wanting to listen to Baekhyun's-- forced -- moans as they touched themselves. 

Baekhyun endured all those clients with a fake smile, just hoping his shift would be over soon, but the last customer of the night was the one to make him snap. The man was in his early thirties, and only after a drink or two did things truly start to heat up. He ed the top front of his shirt and leaned back into the sofa before he was ordering,

"Kiss me."

Baekhyun trembled at his words. None of his previous customers had requested him to do so. It wasn't that it was prohibited, but Baekhyun was hoping it could be put off a little longer. At least till he was ready, though Baekhyun knew he would never be ready to kiss someone other than Chanyeol.

"What are you waiting for?" the man yelled. Kris was alerted to the commotion and peeked see what was going on. The blonde man looked to Baekhyun who stood away from his client, still trembling.

"I paid him to please me. But he doesn't want to kiss me?" the man cried in anger.

"Baekhyun?" There was a smidgen of concern in Kris' tone.

"Yes, I'm sorry," Baekhyun said hurriedly, rushing to compose himself, "I'll do it."

Kris gave one last glance at Baekhyun before he turned and left the room. Baekhyun scooted closer to his client who was getting more impatient with each passing second, overcome with dread of what was to come.

"Hurry up, !" 

Baekhyun flinched at the harshness of his tone before closing his eyes and pressing his lips to the stranger's. In that moment, Baekhyun was brought back to the time Chanyeol first made love to him, and right then, he felt as if all those touches and sweet words were being washed away by that single repulsive act of his. The man deepened the kiss, grabbing onto his neck and Baekhyun broke a little more inside as he continued to reluctantly accomodate to the other's strong advances.

After, when Baekhyun was finally home for the night, he stood under the hot shower with the incident on replay on his mind. He remained void of emotions, feeling a little numb after everything. He felt just a tiny bit better when he walked into Jongin's room to see that his son peacefully asleep. Baekhyun went to tuck his him in, leaning down to kiss Jongin's head but stopped short when he remembered how his lips had already been defiled. He couldn't possibly kiss his kids with those lips now. Instead, he pulled away and ran a hand through Jongin's soft tousled hair. It was a long while later when he returned to his room where he crawled into bed, feeling the most depressed he'd ever been.

Baekhyun lied in bed for the longest time just staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep with the thought of the man's lips on his still on his mind. He felt like he couldn't escape what he'd done. There was nothing that could make him feel better about himself. When the clock struck one outside, he reached beneath his pillow to retrieve his phone and frantically scrolled through his album of videos. Stopping at the one Yixing had watched the other day when he'd come by, he played the video and turned up the volume, drowning in the laughter he had missed so dearly. There were a few witty remarks and lots of giggling before a plump pair of lips kissed the lens.

And that's all it took for Baekhyun to break down into uncontrollable crying, the pain in his heart becoming unbearable as he cradled the screen close to his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," was all he could mutter endlessly through thick sobs as he cried himself to sleep with the nightmare of his disgusting act etched deep into his mind.

A/N: unbeta-ed. hmm, so Baek hasn't found out about Jongdae and Chan hasn't found out about Baek's job. So, expect more angst? Whoo~ thanks for the comments! :)