Chapter Two: Breaking the News

 

 

When Sehun was one and a half years old, Baekhyun noticed a few things.

 

Sehun would hum under his breath, almost like a mantra, till he was fully out of breath. This, Baekhyun soon came to find out, had been a way to calm himself down if he got upset about anything around him.

 

He had still been unable to talk and the only words he had learnt to say were “Milk”, “Da”(Daddy), “No” and “Hu”(they never understood what this meant though they highly suspected it to be ‘Hyung’, when he’s calling for Jongin’s attention). Other than that, he did weird things like point to his nose when asking for a drink.

 

Most kids his age had begun to walk normally.

 

Sehun, on the other hand, was barely crawling. He’d sit in the corner of the room staring into space, occasionally looking at his stumpy fingers.

 

He never knew how to play. He would just stare at the hand-me-down blocks Jongin used to love; he would use his eyes to try to move the toy car. But then he’d cry out in frustration when nothing seemed to work his way. Baekhyun would try showing him how it’s done but Sehun would always respond by scratching at him.

 

Baekhyun realized that Sehun was different from the rest when he would sit on his own away from the other babies during play time when the neighbourhood mothers came over with their own children his age. At times, he’d bite on the arms of the other children and when they cried because of his actions, instead of feeling remorseful, he would clap his hands haphazardly and giggle in glee.

 

Over time, everyone stopped including Baekhyun and Sehun in their play dates and plans for fear of what Baby Sehun might do to their babies. Sehun had been too young to understand but as a parent, Baekhyun had been beyond upset. In the beginning, he would angrily rant to Chanyeol about what had happened, though he always never forgets to take Sehun’s side and pin all the blame on the other kids and their parents.

 

Chanyeol had been upset too, at first, but over time, he found that the parent’s concerns were valid and rational.

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol fought a lot about it.

 

They argued when Baekhyun told Chanyeol how he was offended that Chanyeol would rather side with the other parents instead of his own husband and child.

 

Baekhyun yelled at Chanyeol the minute he came home, letting out his frustrations about something that had happened in the day.

 

Once, Baekhyun had failed to prepare dinner because of how upset he was about how Eun Mi, one of their neighbours down the street, had glared at Sehun when they were doing their groceries shopping. Hence the incident had caused him to leave without anything in hand although their refrigerator was in dire need of a restock.

 

“Can you believe it? She ing glared at him, Yeol! He’s just a baby, for god’s sake. What a major !”

 

Chanyeol let out a passive sigh and massaged the bridge of his nose with his eyes tightly screwed shut as his other free hand ed his white collared work blouse.

 

“Baekhyun, mind your language. The kids are still awake, aren’t they? And that’s really no reason to call someone a .”

 

“Wow, you’re taking their side again. If you’re so concerned for them, even more concerned for them than you are about your own child, I suggest you just ing go and kiss their asses instead of forcing yourself to pretend to care about your son.”

 

Baekhyun marched out their bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Ever since they had found out about Sehun and his condition, Baekhyun had been a nervous wreck. He was more sensitive and Chanyeol had felt like he had to walk on eggshells around him.

 

Such arguments became frequent and by the time Sehun was six, Chanyeol had gotten used to Baekhyun constantly yelling at him about every single god damn thing. He took it all with a pinch of salt but everyone had their limits and he was just so sick of it all.

 

So that was probably one of the reasons why Chanyeol felt the compelling need to break away from Baekhyun in the form of a divorce. Baekhyun wasn’t the sweet little innocent boy he had once fallen in love with.

 

He had changed.

 

+++

 

Baekhyun reached for the last piece of clothing laid out in front of him. It was an old white oversized t-shirt that had some words printed on it at the front that were now barely readable because of the amount of times it’s been through the washer. It was Chanyeol’s, and he’d kept it for the past 12 years of his life even though Baekhyun had tried to get him to throw it away. Chanyeol never wanted to get rid of it; it had been a gift from Baekhyun for their first anniversary of the day they first met.

 

Baekhyun gingerly brought the rounded collar of the shirt under his nose and took a deep breath of it. His eyes subconsciously closed when he whiffed in the smell of Chanyeol – coconut musk and vanilla, with a hint of the lavender softener Baekhyun uses to do the family’s laundry.

 

A sudden wave of emotions overwhelmed him when memories came flooding back. Baekhyun wondered how something so minute like the smell of Chanyeol’s shirt could render him helpless for a moment. If that was all it took to remind him of the tall giant and the hundreds of thousands of memoirs they’d created together, he hated to think how he was going to carry on living in the house they shared when they would be officially divorced.

 

The place practically reeked of Chanyeol. Every nook and cranny of the house that had once been their love nest had a story of its own.

 

In the kitchen was where they first tried baking together. It had been before the kids had been born. Baekhyun remembers how it hadn’t turned out well as they got too caught up in a heated flour fight. As they say, the best memories were always created when things don’t go according to plan.

 

Baekhyun glances from the kitchen to the dining room, pressing his lips into a thin line of ache when he remembered how Chanyeol had been the one to get a one-year-old Jongin to say his first word: Appp-pa!

 

The both of them had been betting with each other on who could get the boy to say his first word and Chanyeol had spent the whole dinner at the table mouthing words and pulling faces at Jongin while Baekhyun fed him his mashed apples. Baekhyun could still picture Chanyeol’s face beaming in pride when Jongin cutely mimicked him.

 

Baekhyun’s gaze trailed over to the black microfiber sofa that sat opposite from where he was, beside the fireplace. Redness crept up his ears and he chuckled lightly, shaking his head when he remembered how that very spot had been the place where they had first tried to spice up their life that had hit some sort of a plateau after Jongin was born.

 

Baekhyun had been desperate for Chanyeol, and when the overly active baby Jongin had finally, finally, been put to sleep, both Chanyeol and him had practically tore each other’s clothes off. Their had come in the form of Baekhyun’s eyes rimmed with thick black eyeliner because Chanyeol always found the smaller male to be extremely attractive with it on.

 

To prevent baby Jongin from waking up, they had had to clasp their sweaty hands over each other’s mouth as they were both brought to their own earth-shattering s. Baekhyun’s face flushed even redder when he remembered how they had had to change the sheets of the sofa to that of black microfiber, the one they had now, because of the massive amount of mess they’d made on the cream coloured leather material before.

 

Baekhyun’s smile faded, however, when he realized that he could probably never move on from Chanyeol if he were to stay here in their house. Even if he closed his eyes to prevent seeing anything that would remind him of the taller boy, he would still be able to feel his great presence and hear his beautifully deep chortle reverberating through the walls.

 

Baekhyun sighed as he placed the folded white t-shirt onto one of the piles in the opened luggage before him that was already full with Chanyeol’s paraphernalia. He got up from his seat on the sofa and bent down to zip it up, locking it with the combination in the form of the date they first met.

 

“Thanks for helping me pack.”

 

The shorter boy whirled around and came face to face with the taller boy who stood gawkily. He was only a few feet away but those few feet might as well have been miles and miles of ocean.

 

“I think you should be set for the next two weeks or so.”

 

Baekhyun’s reply came quietly as he pursed his lips, forehead creasing a little in thought. Chanyeol could see the glaze of sadness in his almond shaped eyes but he doesn’t say anything about it.

 

He was sad, too. His heart ached in unimaginable ways. How does one say goodbye to a person you’ve loved for the most part of your life? Though they’ve decided to part civilly, it still didn’t make the pain any less real.

 

Chanyeol bended his arm at his elbow to retrieve his luggage and his position was so awkward that it wasn’t hard to tell he was avoiding any kind of accidental skinship with Baekhyun. The smaller boy winced internally when he realized this.

 

“So I’ll see you with the kids later at Wendy’s?”

 

Baekhyun nodded in confirmation and after a few seconds of just staring at each other, Chanyeol quickly snapped out of his thoughts and hurried towards the front door. He shut it with a quiet click behind him and Baekhyun was left to stand all alone in the middle of the house that suddenly felt all too big.

 

Baekhyun could still feel Chanyeol’s presence, and he doesn’t think it’ll go away any time soon. It probably never will.

 

But Baekhyun doesn’t fail to realize that though Chanyeol’s presence is still there, his heart had left.

 

It had long been gone from him.
 

+++

 

“I don’t get why we have to have dinner outside today. Kyungsoo’s finally free from his grounding and he said he could come over tonight.”

 

Jongin grumbled as he climbed into the back of the family car. Sehun hurried along to get into the car through the same door as his brother but being the evil older brother that he was, Jongin quickly slammed the door shut and swiped the lock, preventing Sehun from doing so. The younger of the two pouted his thick lips and scowled before making his way over to the other side of the car.

 

“Jongin, be nicer to your brother.”

 

Baekhyun chided distractedly as he pulled his seatbelt across himself. His expression lacked the sternness it usually held but that was only because he was too anxious to be bothered about anything else. Baekhyun had practically forced both Jongin and Sehun to shower and get dressed the minute they got home and was now whisking them away to the restaurant they were going to have dinner at.

 

“Appa’s going to meet us there when his work ends. We haven’t had family time in awhile.”

 

Baekhyun explained as he revved up the engine and began to pull away from the driveway. From his rear view mirror, he could see Jongin’s scowl disappearing as his lips curled upward a little in a lopsided grin, the same one he’d inherited from Chanyeol. Baekhyun allowed himself to feel better at the fact that Jongin was excited to be spending time with the whole complete family.

 

Ten minutes into the drive, Baekhyun was pressing harder onto the accelerator pedal to go faster, hoping they would reach soon. Jongin was making so much noise with his whines about Sehun’s humming and Baekhyun was instantly reminded of the reason why he never liked being the one to drive with the kids in tow. Jongin’s complaints were enough to give him a headache. That was why Chanyeol had always been the one driving them around.

 

“Sehun, shut up.” Jongin snapped.

 

A minute later, “Sehun, shut. Up.”

 

Barely five seconds later, “Sehun, shut the hell up!”

 

Baekhyun decided that it was time to intervene. Jongin was already holding onto Sehun’s arm, squeezing it tightly in an attempt to get him to keep quiet.

 

“Jongin, you know he rarely responds to “Sehun”. You need to learn to address him as “Baby” if you want to get him to listen to you.”

 

When Sehun was three, Baekhyun and Chanyeol came to find out that he responded to the name “Baby” better than he ever did with his own name. From then on, everyone just called him by that, only occasionally calling him “Sehun”.

 

Baekhyun could practically hear Jongin rolling his eyes in annoyance as he pulled up into an empty parking lot.

 

“I don’t get why we have to call him baby. He’s six, for God’s sake.”

 

There was a slight pause as Baekhyun killed the engine before Jongin spoke up again.

 

“Actually, it doesn’t matter what age you are, does it? I know you and Appa used to call each other “baby” all the time.”

 

Baekhyun bit down on his lower lip at Jongin’s comment as his son sniggered. The three of them got out of the car and went inside, seating themselves at a booth table by the window.

 

Since it was the evening of a weekend, the place was crowded with families such as theirs who had come to spend quality time together. Baekhyun looked around bitterly as he notes how everyone seemed to come here to have a good time. On the other hand, they were there to have a serious discussion. Except that both Jongin and Sehun had no clue about any of it.

 

After placing their orders, a family set meal for four, both Jongin and Sehun started a game of red hands as Baekhyun watched them in contentment. No matter how often they got on each other’s nerves, they would always make up soon after and that was what Baekhyun loved about their relationship. Jongin was the protective older brother who looked out for his dongsaeng, and Sehun was the caring younger brother who looked up to his hyung.

 

Soon, Chanyeol arrived in his work attire; office wear and a grey blazer with his suitcase. A little too overdressed for such a place.

 

“Appa!”

 

Sehun was the first to greet him as he stood up and wrapped his shorter arms around the upper part of Chanyeol’s thighs, burying his cheek in Chanyeol’s abdomen. The tall boy chuckled as he ruffled his son’s hair adoringly before they each took their seats.

 

“Appa, we’ve ordered spicy lemon chicken for you! Your favourite!”

 

Jongin exclaimed as he grinned at his father who returned a wide smile that displayed his perfect rows of white teeth. From the corner of his eyes, Baekhyun could tell that the smile didn’t reach his eyes. There was some restriction in the smile, and the reason behind it was that he would be breaking his sons’ little hearts soon with upsetting news that would shatter their perceptions of their “happy” family.

 

Chanyeol had to sit beside Baekhyun since the two boys were on the opposite side together, but he made sure to keep the distance.

 

They ate in high spirits, Jongin dominating the conversation as Chanyeol tried his best to keep up with Jongin’s excitement, not forgetting to include the quieter son whose cheeks glowed whenever he was asked a question.

 

Baekhyun was the only one who remained silent through it all. He didn’t have the appetite to eat, not at all, but he had to force himself to because he didn’t want Jongin to call him out for it. His older son was sensitive to things like that.

 

Once they were done, desserts came, and the more they dragged out the time, the more nervous Baekhyun became.

 

He hadn’t liked the idea of bringing the kids to a family restaurant to break the news to them but Chanyeol had somehow managed to convince him that it was a good idea to tell them about the divorce at a place filled with jolly people and atmosphere.

 

Now, Baekhyun was starting to regret it. There was nothing brilliant about telling the kids that their fathers no longer love each other at a place where other children were receiving utmost amounts of love and care by parents who were still madly in love with each other.

 

No, it was all wrong.

 

Before Baekhyun could even have a chance to back out, though, the desserts had been devoured and Chanyeol had put on his serious face, his eyebrows furrowed, gaze intent on his two sons before him while he clasped his hands together.

 

“Jongin, Sehun. There is a reason why I brought the both of you out here today.”

 

Baekhyun swallowed hard and watched in misery as Sehun his lips to rid the vanilla ice cream at the corners of his pink baby lips. Chanyeol pushed his black wide rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose and let out an agonized sigh.

 

“Appa, what’s wrong?”

 

The jovial tone in Jongin’s voice had been replaced with concern and Baekhyun could see the impatience ghosting across his face.

 

That kid had always been sensible. His observation skills were extraordinary.

 

“Jongin, Sehun… Before I tell you this, I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I still love the both of you. Very much. Nothing will ever change.”

 

“No.”

 

Sehun’s quiet voice was soft but it managed to capture everyone’s attention, even Chanyeol’s as he gazed at his son questioningly. When Sehun didn’t say anything else, Chanyeol cleared his throat and Baekhyun’s eyes trailed from the younger to the older boy beside him. Jongin’s expression had turned black, but there was also a hint of anger in those dark eyes of his.

 

“Boys, your father and I have been having problems lately. And it’s a tough decision, but we’ve decided that we need to live apart from now on.”

 

“Everyone has problems. You and Daddy have to fix them. That’s what people do. They fix their problems.”

 

Baekhyun inhaled sharply at Jongin’s harsh words that had a certain level of maturity to it. Chanyeol was also pricked by his own son’s backlash.

 

“Jongin-ah, there are certain problems in this world we just can’t fix. It’s like glass. You drop it to the floor and it breaks into pieces. Can you put them back together? No you can’t. That’s how Daddy and I are right now.”

 

Jongin gritted his teeth and glared at Chanyeol, and then at Baekhyun. Sehun sat quietly in his seat, his head long bowed down to stare at his hands in his lap instead.

 

“No.”

 

“What do you mean ‘no’, Jongin?”

 

Baekhyun asked softly, reaching a hand out to cover his older son’s hand. Jongin’s hand recoiled as if he’d been burned just as they made contact and Baekhyun grimaced.

 

“No. You and Appa can’t do this to us.”

 

“We’re doing this for you, Jongin. For Sehun. We love the both of you so much and we don’t want our sour relationship to affect you.”

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!?”

 

Jongin stood up in a fury and eyes that were heavily narrowed in on Chanyeol’s.

 

“Jongin, watch your language.”

 

Chanyeol rebuked as his tone turned firm.

 

“Sit down, Jongin. We’ll talk about this civilly.”

 

“No. I don’t want to talk about it because there’s nothing to talk about. You and Daddy aren’t separating… you aren’t getting a… divorce.”

 

Jongin’s voice cracked on the last word as he started to sob dryly. Baekhyun wanted to go and comfort his son but he was frozen in his seat. He hadn’t said much because he felt as if his own throat had closed in.

 

By now, most nearby tables had turned their attention to the commotion. Parents tried not to look but they sneaked a glance every now and then at a sobbing Jongin, wondering why his parents weren’t doing anything to comfort the poor kid.

 

That was the end of the discussion. Nothing had turned out well. Now that the news was out, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun knew that there was bound to be this sort of reaction, especially from their older son who could never really take bad news well. But no amount of preparation could have made things any easier. The agony was still the same. It was still there.

 

The silence in the car ride back home was punctuated by an insufferable tension that hung in the air. None of them had said anything and it didn’t help that the radio was down so they couldn’t fill the silence in with music.

 

Instead, Jongin had put on his headphones and was listening to some heavy metal music that was so loud everyone in the car could hear. Usually, Baekhyun would lecture him about the volume, warning him about how it could cause him to go deaf, but now wasn’t one of those times to do it. If anything, he deserved to do whatever to calm himself down.

 

When Baekhyun had seen to Sehun getting dressed into his pjs and ready for bed, he helped the younger get into bed and tucked him nicely under the covers of his solar system printed blankets. Baekhyun leaned in and brushed some of his dark hair out of his eyes before placing a firm kiss on his forehead.

 

“Goodnight, Baby. I love you.”

 

Ever since Sehun had learnt to talk, he would always reply with an “I love you, Daddy” whenever Baekhyun tucked him into bed.

 

That night was the first night in four years Sehun didn’t say it back.

 

It was going to be the first night in the many nights to come Sehun won’t say it back.

 

Instead, Baekhyun watched in sadness as Sehun’s eyelids closed and his mouth twitched in an attempt to keep them tightly shut so he wouldn’t let any words slip.

 

Baekhyun gave up and went to the door, switching off the lights to allow the darkness to creep in before the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling bathed the room in a dim hue of green.

 

Sehun had always had a fascination with stars and the solar system and anything universe related, while Jongin on the other hand was into music.

 

Baekhyun left the door ajar and made his way downstairs where Chanyeol was sitting on the sofa. From afar, Baekhyun could sense that things hadn’t gone well on his side with Jongin, judging from his slumped shoulders.

 

“Sehun’s asleep.”

 

Chanyeol jumped a little at Baekhyun’s voice and stood up from the sofa, turning around to face the smaller male.

 

“Jongin slammed the door on me.”

 

“I heard.”

 

Baekhyun replied sympathetically with a slight tilt of his head.

 

“He refused to let me in no matter how hard I pleaded.”

 

“He needs time to get used to it. I’m sure he’ll come around.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

Chanyeol sighed as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

 

“You know, you shouldn’t have brought them there. What were you thinking?”

 

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes pointedly at the taller boy whose expression turned into annoyance.

 

“I can’t do anything right in your eyes anymore, can I?”

 

Chanyeol asked angrily though his voice was louder than he’d wanted it to be.

 

“Keep your voice down, the kids are asleep.”

 

“I should go.”

 

Chanyeol huffed, his shoulders heaving.

 

Baekhyun nodded and followed behind the taller boy who left after a quick goodbye. He locked the doors behind him and lumbered up the stairs into his bedroom.

 

Once he’d washed up and changed out into his sleep wear, he laid on his side of the bed, keeping Chanyeol’s side untouched like always.

 

He didn’t sleep much that night.

 

 

+++

 

 

It was seven in the morning when Baekhyun finally decided to haul himself out of bed. After the incident at Wendy’s the day before, he had felt sick. Not because there was anything wrong with him, but because he had too many things on his mind, including the welfare of his kids who seemed to be very affected by it all.

 

Of course they should be; there was no reason why they shouldn’t. There was a tiny part of Baekhyun that hoped that maybe, just maybe, they would be all “Yeah, okay, you guys are having the divorce but we’ll still be happy” but nope, that was not what happened.

 

Baekhyun went to take a quick shower and made his way outside to wake the boys up for school.

 

Since Jongin’s room was the one closer to his room, he stopped by there first, knocking a few times after a little hesitation.

 

“Jongin, are you awake? It’s time to get up for school.”

 

Silence.

 

“Jongin, I know you’re still mad about yesterday, but I promise we’ll talk about this later. Right now you need to go to school.”

 

Still, there was no reply.

 

Baekhyun sighed in defeat and shuffled over to Sehun’s room instead. He got the younger boy ready in half an hour’s time and went to make breakfast, hoping Jongin would already be awake and less bitter by then.

 

“Baby, can you go get your brother for me?”

 

Sehun finished his glass of milk and obediently went about his order as Baekhyun washed the dishes. When Sehun returned less than a minute later, he shook his head.

 

“He’s not awake?”

 

Sehun shook his head.

 

“Tell him I’m really mad at him right now and if he doesn’t—”

 

Sehun shook his head once more and pointed in the direction of Jongin’s bedroom upstairs, interrupting Baekhyun’s sentence.

 

Baekhyun frowned and made his way towards his older son’s room. He tried turning the door knob but it was locked. At once, panic coursed through his body.

 

Jongin never locked his door.

 

Baekhyun flew down the stairs and rummaged through the drawers of a table up against the wall beside the front door and managed to find the key to Jongin’s room. He rushed upstairs as Sehun remained standing where he was, watching intently as his father fumbled with the lock.

 

When the door flew open, Baekhyun scanned the room to see that Jongin wasn’t anywhere. He hurried to the single bed up against

the side of the room and threw the sheets off them but Jongin wasn’t there either.

 

His frantic eyes set themselves upon the only window in Jongin’s room and his heart dropped to the floor.

 

It was opened, the white curtains flying in the breeze.

 

With shaky hands, Baekhyun reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out his mobile phone.

 

The number was still set as number one on speed dial.

 

He pressed the phone to his right ear and waited till the call was connected, eyes still fixed on the opened window though they were void of any other emotion except fear.

 

“What is it?”

 

His deep agitated voice filled Baekhyun’s ear but it was unable to snap him out of his alarmed and frozen state.

 

“Chanyeol… Jongin’s gone.”

 

+++

 

The 12 year old boy shuffled on the trail that winded through the dense park, his pathway littered with dead orange leaves that indicated the beginning of autumn.

 

He had no destination in mind, no plan whatsoever drawn up. All he knew was that he had needed to get out of there.

 

The place he once called home didn’t feel like home anymore. It brought him misery more than anything else. He felt like his world had come crashing down around him.

 

And it was all because of the news of his parents’ separation.

 

Jongin sighed and kicked a huge pile of leaves that were in his way, letting them fly a few inches off the ground before floating back down.

 

He was tired after walking for hours since three in the morning and occasionally stopping by to rest by a sidewalk or on a bench. Now, the sun had broken through the clouds and the darkness was replaced by light. He had no device that could tell him the time and the only sense of time he had was by looking at the sky.

 

He racked his brains for an idea on where he could go.

 

School was definitely out of the question because he knew that his dad would be there searching for him. He would have gone to his grandparent’s house if he had the money. In his haste, he’d grabbed the first few things he knew he couldn’t leave without – a few clothes, a picture of his family taken during one of their happier times, his Taylor acoustic guitar and money from his piggy bank that had turned out to contain only 1000KRW(1US dollar) and that was barely enough for breakfast. Or even a drink.

 

God, he was so parched.

 

He wondered where all his money he’d saved went but then remembered that he had used it all to buy his guitar.

 

Just as he was about to lose hope, an idea descended itself in his mind and he paused in his tracks, a slow smile forming on his lips.

 

He hurried along till he found a signboard and after pinpointing his rough location, he ran all the way down a few familiar streets till he arrived at his destination.

 

The second the brown traditional Korean house came into his view, he slowed his pace and strode over to the black door and brought his fist up to knock on it.

 

The sound of shuffling of feet could be heard on the other side of the door before it flew open to reveal a small boy who was a good head shorter than Jongin, his round owl-like eyes opened wide and forehead creased in confusion.

 

Jongin stood there with a pleading look on his face and the other boy could sense the tone of helplessness in his voice.

 

“Jongin? I’m just about to leave for school. Why aren’t you dressed in your uniform?”

 

“Kyungsoo, help me, please.”

 

+++

 

A/N: Thanks for the upvote and subscribe! Comment? :) Till we meet again.