Chapter Four: Alone

Baekhyun sat on Jongin’s bed, lightly caressing his soft brown hair as he admired the boy’s sleeping face that had a slight crease in the forehead. He knew very well his son had probably had a restless sleep the night before with all that had happened so he decided that Jongin deserved a day off school today to rest, even though he had missed school yesterday as well. Sehun, however, was not exempted and Baekhyun had dropped his second son off at school in the morning before making his way home to prepare breakfast for his other son.

Jongin’s eyes fluttered open at his daddy’s touch and for a moment, he looked disoriented but once the previous’ day’s events came flooding back, his frown deepened and he flinched away from Baekhyun’s touch.

“Do you want breakfast in bed, sweetheart?”

Jongin grumbled and crossed his arms, refusing to look at Baekhyun who just pretended that his son wasn’t angry with him and smiled warmly, leaving to bring up a tray of cereal and orange juice anyway. 

When he returned, Jongin wasn’t on his bed, but he heard the sound of water in the bathroom next to his room. Jongin entered his room ten minutes later, all dressed in a polo tee and jeans, water dripping from his hair. He walked over to his guitar and bag pack in the corner of the room and slung it over his shoulder.

“I’m heading to the studio. I can’t stand being in this house.”

Baekhyun bit down on his lip as he watched his son walk away and heard the front door slam just moments later.

The pointed silence that set in was enough proof to him that he was truly alone.

+++

The blinds did little to prevent the sunlight from streaming in and Chanyeol groaned when he suddenly awoke with the light blinding him. His forearm flew up to over his eyes and he hauled his legs over to the side, waiting for a little while to get his bearings right.

When he remembered what happened the night before, he glanced over behind him to see that it was empty. The silence told him that Jongdae had long left. After all that confessing yesterday, the man still refused to stay the night. But Chanyeol wasn’t too upset about it since he had a long way to go before he could get used to waking up next to another man that wasn’t Baekhyun.

In fact, he realized that he still had to get used to even kissing Jongdae. Last night the latter had initiated something more intimate but Chanyeol found that he wasn’t ready. Not just yet. He had broken the kiss, prevented Jongdae from removing his shirt, and told his admirer that the furthest he could go is sleeping together in the same bed in the most innocent sense of it. Jongdae had sulked but still took what he could get anyway, though Chanyeol knew that he was more upset than he had let on considering that he hadn’t stayed till he woke up. 

Chanyeol went about getting ready for work, mentally planning what he was going to say to Jongdae so that he would stop sulking. He thought about buying him his favourite chocolate cake at the cafeteria at work and leaving it with a sweet good morning note, but he knew it would take more than just a romantic gesture to get the stubborn male talking to him again.

By the time he was done, he left the apartment with his briefcase in one hand, deciding that he would tell Jongdae the truth instead. That accompanied by his favourite cake. That should do it.

+++

“Sir, you have a visitor.”

Chanyeol motioned for his secretary, Yoona, to allow his visitor in. He was about to go for lunch, anyway. He was about to wonder who it might be, since he had already settled all the necessary documents for his last meeting, when his childhood friend walked through the glass doors in his handsome suit and a briefcase. 

“Hey, Xing,” Chanyeol chirped happily as Yixing returned a smile.

“You know why I’m here right? Or have you forgotten?”

Yixing looked to Chanyeol’s face for signs of any recognition but his expression remained that of confusion as he furrowed his brows. Yixing shook his head with a quiet sigh.

“The divorce papers. I’ve prepared them."

“Oh. Right.”

Chanyeol walked towards the Chinese man and clasped his shoulder appreciatively. He knew he could trust Yixing to get his life in check when his marriage has failed. He knew he would be lost without Baekhyun, since Baekhyun had always been the one to get him together, but he thanked God he had Yixing as well.

Chanyeol hadn’t wanted to engage any random lawyer; he wanted Yixing’s services because he knew them the best and he knew that neither of them wanted their divorce to turn into a messing dealing. Their children were number one priority (well, at least to Baekhyun, anyway. All Chanyeol wanted was for it to be soon as quickly as it could) and they knew that the divorce proceedings was going to take a toll on them.

“I’ll explain to you the details over lunch,” Yixing turned around to leave but a hand stopped him.

“Xing, I can’t have lunch with you today. I’m meeting… someone.”

“Oh. Is this someone more important than your marriage?” Yixing threw a spiteful remark along with a frown that doesn’t go unnoticed by the taller male who pursed his lips in defiance.

“He’s important to me.”

Yixing glared at his friend with a shake of his head but this time in utter disappointment. He hadn’t planned on taking sides because Chanyeol was his best friend, someone he has known since they were kids, and Baekhyun was a sweetheart who he had grown to love as his own brother. But right now, Chanyeol was coming off as a douchebag and Yixing couldn’t help but to pity Baekhyun who doesn’t know anything that’s going on behind his back.

“Who is ‘he’? How long have you been seeing him?”

“He’s a colleague of mine,” Chanyeol began to say but then he noticed the disapproving look Yixing was giving him.

“You know what? It’s a really long story. I’ve got some time now, before he gets off for lunch. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll tell you all about it?”

Chanyeol sat himself on the black sofa, motioning for Yixing to do the same. After a little hesitation, Yixing settled his briefcase on the table before the sofa and took a seat beside his friend.

Chanyeol explained to Yixing about everything. How he had started to develop feelings for Jongdae when his relationship with Baekhyun had turned sour. Yixing had known of the slow crumbling of Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s marriage throughout the years after Sehun’s birth, but what he hadn’t known was how Chanyeol had coped with it all with Jongdae’s company and support. He told of how over time at work became a frequent affair for him and how Jongdae would always be there to cheer him on while Baekhyun had been busy ignoring his needs as his husband. He told of how he had fallen for his said colleague, and when Yixing began to glare at him once more, Chanyeol explained that technically he hadn’t cheated on Baekhyun because he hadn’t done any more than fleeting touches.

“So you’re really serious about this Jongdae guy?”

It hurt for Yixing to say those words because he could only imagine how Baekhyun would feel if he found out about it.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m still trying to figure out what we are, but all I’m sure of is that I like him and he feels the same way about me, and he has also been there for me at times when I needed someone, unlike Baek.”

Yixing wouldn’t try to understand Chanyeol and his relationship with Baekhyun though he has his own ideas of it. Instead of reprimanding Chanyeol, he decides that this was something that wasn’t of his business, even if he was both Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s friend. So he lets it go.

“As long as you’re happy, I guess. Maybe this divorce is really what the both of you need.”

Yixing didn’t really mean those words, though he said it anyway. He stood up with his briefcase in a hand. 

“Well, I better get going. We’ll just talk about this the next time, when you’re not busy with your boyfriend.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel a little pricked at Yixing’s subtle sarcasm, watching as he left his office.

+++

Chanyeol smiled to himself when he saw a familiar back facing him, sitting at the same booth they used to frequent. Their booth. Those late night coffee sessions when they’d divulge their innermost thoughts.

He sauntered over to the booth and slid into the seat opposite him, taking in the sulking expression of the man who had his arms crossed in front of him on the table.

“I brought your favourite chocolate cake,” Chanyeol smiled and pushed the box toward the man with a finger. 

“I don’t want it,” Jongdae pouted.

“Do you know how cute you look when you’re angry?” Chanyeol teased but immediately regretted it when Jongdae’s pout deepened, reminding him of a fond memory some seventeen years ago. It had been one of those days during the courtship period when Baekhyun would give that maddeningly cute pout whenever he was upset. Chanyeol’s smile faded when he felt a pang in his heart. He wasn’t really sure what it was, but he attributed it to the fact that it was a distant memory that brought about a wave of emotions. That kind of feeling you get when you remember something you used to love.

“Jongdae, please forgive me. I know you’re upset about last night, still, but will you listen to what I have to say? It’s not that I don’t like you.”

The brown haired male’s frown disappeared and he finally shifted his hard gaze to meet Chanyeol’s. The latter took it as a good sign and reached out to hold one of Jongdae’s hands in his own.

“I like you. A lot. It’s just that I need time. I’m going through a divorce and it’s tough. I can’t just start something new just like that. I’ve been living with him for the past twelve years of my life, and we have two kids together. It’s not easy starting over. I don’t know anything besides life with Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol looked to Jongdae for any signs that he was going to leave. There was none, maybe just a little disappointment. 

“I see where you’re coming from. You should know that my feelings for you are genuine, Chanyeol. And I’ve been waiting for a year, I think I can afford to wait a little more. At least till your divorce is finalized. I just need to know one thing before we take this any further.”

“What is it?”

“Are you sure you don’t have feelings for him anymore? I mean, you’ve been with him for a long time…”

There was hesitation on Chanyeol’s part but eventually he forced a smile that appeared pretty convincing, “I’m sure. I don’t love him… not anymore.”

+++

Jongin packed his things from the studio and left the room, making his way by foot to his best friend’s house. He had spent all morning alone at the studio, whiling his time away by practicing on his guitar till school hours ended so he could waste more time with his best friend. After that argument they had the day before, Jongin felt bad for having yelled at Kyungsoo. Now that he had calmed down, he realized that Kyungsoo had meant well and he craved for his best friend’s company more than anything.

The door was opened by Kyungsoo himself who stared wide eyed at his friend who stood at the steps with a wide grin plastered across his boyish features.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo was the first to speak up as he looked to his friend for forgiveness.

“It’s okay, Kyung. It wasn’t your fault. I guess I just overreacted.”

Jongin opened his arms as best as he could to envelop the shorter male in a hug, feeling Kyungsoo’s arms circle his back and resting his own head on his shoulder. Over Kyungsoo’s shoulder, he noticed the shorter male’s mother standing by the kitchen door nearby with her hands placed on her hips and a glare sent in his direction. 

“Kyungsoo! Get your hands off that piece of filth!”

Kyungsoo pried himself away from the embrace, not because he wanted to, but because he wanted to retort in defiance.

“Ma! Please don’t talk about my friend like that.”

Jongin narrowed his eyes at Kyungsoo’s mother but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he allowed Kyungsoo to free his hands of his guitar and allowed himself to be led up to his room which was like a second home to him. Kyungsoo plopped onto the bed on his stomach as Jongin sat himself cross-legged at the side of the bed, facing the boy.

“So, what happened when I was away? Anything interesting?”

Kyungsoo’s smile dimmed as his plump lips formed a slight pout.

“Not really. Because you weren’t there, everything was ten times more boring than it usually is.”

Jongin chuckled and reached a hand out to ruffle Kyungsoo’s hair. Although the boy was a year older than he was, he felt like he had always been the mature one in the relationship, always being the protective one who would look out for him in school so that bullies will stay away from him.

They were both at an age where they were too young to contemplate feelings and all the complications that comes with a serious relationship but what they were both certain of was that they loved each other. As friends, yes, but maybe sometimes, their relationship went beyond that of friends. Often, they would bid each other a goodbye with a quick peck to the cheek. Of course, Kyungsoo’s mother never knew of this because if she did, Jongin was absolutely sure he would be banned from ever coming into contact with him again.

“Oh! Something did happen, actually.”

Jongin cocked his head slightly as if to ask what, and Kyungsoo’s eyes danced playfully as he kicked his legs up into the air and supported his head up with his chin in his palm, an elbow propped up on the bed. 

“You know that boy from your Chemistry class?”

“Which one?”

 “That one who transferred from Canada! The Chinese one who’s a few years older than us. Kris. He’s so tall and dreamy! Guess what happened?”

“I don’t know… Did he ask you out or something?” Jongin frowned.

“Not quite, but close. He came up to me during lunch today and told me I was cute. And he asked if we could hang out some time!”

“And did you say yes?” Jongin gritted his teeth, his smile long gone.

“I didn’t give him a definite answer. I gave a coy shrug and giggled then Hyunsik whisked me away from him. Luckily he did or I would have fainted there and then.”

As Kyungsoo relished in the memory of the incident, Jongin brought his knees up and crossed them, pulling them to his chest as his forehead creased into a frown. A few seconds later, Kyungsoo stopped his giggling when he noticed the change in his friend’s behavior. He grabbed Jongin’s hand in his and lightly kissed his fingers, earning a startled stare from the boy.

Once he had kissed all his five fingers, he gently placed it on the bed and covered his hand with his own. He lifted his gaze to meet Jongin’s surprised eyes.

“You’re still the best for me, Jonginnie. Don’t forget that. No tall Chinese Canadian is going to steal me away from you,” Kyungsoo gave a warm smile that made Jongin’s stomach flip and his jealousy melt away like ice in the sun.

Kyungsoo leaned in to place a small peck in the corner of Jongin’s lips as the latter smiled giddily.

“What do you think you’re doing to my son!?”

The sudden boisterous and furious cry caused them both to jump away from each other as they stared panic-stricken at the woman standing at the door. Her expression was murderous and Jongin was almost certain she would have slaughtered him if she had a knife with her. Instead, she slowly murdered him with her deathly cold gaze. Jongin scrambled to his feet and bowed his head in embarrassment for having been caught doing something he knew she wasn’t very pleased about. He felt very submissive and he was sure she would do something to him for having “ruined” her son.

“You! Get out of my house! You ing piece of ! You are nothing but a disgrace!”

She propelled forward and a hand landed on his arm. Jongin recoiled from the stinging of the slap and hurried to grab his bag pack as Mrs. Do continued her angry abuse on his arm, ignoring Kyungsoo’s cries for her to stop. Jongin was already on the verge of tears. The never-ending string of insults she was throwing at him hurt more than the slaps to his arm. But he wasn’t going to cry in front of her.

Jongin sprinted down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him and ran down the path, turning the corner and not stopping till he reached home.

+++

Baekhyun was humming a light tune as he readied himself to pick up Sehun from his therapy class when he heard the front door open, followed by heavy footsteps coming from the stairs. He peeked outside from his room just in time to see a tuft of dark black hair disappearing into the room; Jongin was home.

Baekhyun took quiet steps to the room and pressed his ear against the door only to hear loud sniffling coming from the other side. Panic coursed through his body. Why was his son crying?

Luckily, Jongin hadn’t locked the door so he was able to push inside to see a huddled lump under the covers on the bed. Slowly, he made his way over and gently pulled the duvet down to reveal a red-faced Jongin whose cheeks were stained with wet tears. Baekhyun reached out a tentative hand to brush his hair out of his eyes and was silently grateful when he wasn’t shoved away just like those other times before.

“What’s wrong,  Jonginnie? Who made you cry?”

Jongin’s heart softened a little at his father’s soft voice; nothing really beats the comfort of a parent.

Through thick sobs, Jongin blubbered an explanation, “K-Kyungsoo’s mum c-called me h-h-horrible names! S-She said I w-was disgusting because of y-you and Appa. 

In that moment, Baekhyun swore he felt his heart plummet to the pits of hell. As if that wasn’t enough, his eyes trailed over to one of Jongin’s arms to see that it was covered in angry red lines. Furious, Baekhyun grabbed onto Jongin’s right arm that was littered with slap marks as the boy shrieked at the rough treatment.

“Did she do this to you?”

Jongin whimpered at Baekhyun’s sudden change in tone. It wasn’t soft and caring anymore. It was fierce and demanding, a side of Baekhyun his family rarely saw. Not even Chanyeol had seen this side to him. 

“Answer me, Park Jongin!”

Jongin whimpered once more as he gave a meek nod. Angry tears sprung to Baekhyun’s eyes. His son had shed too many tears these past few days and it’s never easy for a parent to see their child in such a state. To Baekhyun, it felt like he was hurting physically. It was worse knowing that the cause of Jongin’s pain was because of him. He had brought this upon his family.

Baekhyun tugged Jongin out of bed and forced him out the room, leading him down the stairs and out the house. Jongin didn’t fight back; he was too afraid to. Baekhyun strapped Jongin into the passenger’s seat and they drove off to where Jongin presumed to be his best friend’s house where the unfortunate incident had occurred.

Soon, Baekhyun was banging on the door of the Do household with a cowering Jongin in tow. The door was opened by the devil herself.

“How dare you do this to my son!” Baekhyun yelled the second she showed her face.

A slow, malicious grin spread across her face.

“Your son deserves it. I have said it once, I will say it again: You and your family are nothing but a burden! You are all ing pathetic and the thought of your little “family” makes me sick!”

Mrs. Do spat at their feet and it took Baekhyun everything in him to not lash out at the woman. Jongin was gripping tightly onto his father’s arm, digging his nails into his forearm to prevent him from doing anything drastic.

“Listen here, woman. I have tolerated your homophobic nonsense for a long time, and this is really the last straw. You pull something like this again and I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell. Leave my son alone. Don’t you dare insult my family again.”

Baekhyun gave one last threatening glare and whirled around, pulling Jongin behind him.

They drove around the neighbourhood in silence, Jongin stealing worried glances at his father every now and then as Baekhyun tried to calm himself down. After an hour or so, Baekhyun finally pulled back up in front of their house.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

Jongin’s voice was so soft he almost didn’t catch it over the purring of the engine. Baekhyun sighed and turned to face his first son.

“It’s not your fault baby. It’s mine. I should be sorry. I don’t want you to go through that ever again.” 

Before he could say anything more, his phone rang. He reached into his pocket and saw that Chanyeol was calling him. Wondering what it could be, he answered it only to be greeted by Chanyeol’s loud voice yelling at him.

“What the , Baekhyun?”

“You don’t have to greet me that way. Our son is sitting beside me and he heard you,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, his tone acidic.

“Oh, don’t act like you care about our son! How about your second son, huh, Baekhyun? What kind of a parent are you, letting your son wait for hours for you to come pick him up?”

“Sehun…” Baekhyun’s eyes widened in horror as his free hand gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“Damn right! I’m surprised you even remember his name.”

“I-I’ll be there s—”

“Don’t bother, Baekhyun. I’m already here. Just so you know, he’s really upset and he won’t talk to anyone.”

There was a click and the obnoxious beeping on the other line sounded, indicating that Chanyeol had hung up on him. Jongin watched in pity as his father’s lower lip trembled as he swallowed hard to keep his tears in.

+++

“Baby, do you want to get some ice cream?” Chanyeol coaxed his second son as he adjusted him in his arms with his arms around his neck and short legs wrapped tightly around his long torso. He felt Sehun shake his head.

 “Daddy didn’t mean to forget you, baby. He had something to settle,” Chanyeol explained though he wasn’t really sure himself. Since Baekhyun had claimed the car for today, he had no choice but to take a cab to rush down to the hospital where Sehun had his therapy classes when one of the kind nurses in charge had informed him that Sehun had been waiting for close to two hours. She had tried contacting Baekhyun since he was always the one picking him up, but she couldn’t reach him so she had decided to call Chanyeol instead. 

Chanyeol had been mad when he got to know about it.

Since he had been working when he received the call, he had no choice but to bring Sehun back to his workplace. When he entered his office, he was surprised to see Jongdae on the couch with a magazine in his hands.

“Hey handso—Oh, look who’s here.”

Jongdae stood up from the sofa and eyed the small boy in Chanyeol’s arms who had his back to him. Jongdae raised a questioning eyebrow at Chanyeol.

“I had to pick him up. Baekhyun forgot about him.”

“Oh, you poor boy,” Jongdae cooed as Chanyeol set his son on the sofa. Sehun’s baby features looked like they were permanently etched into a frown as he stared ahead, not bothering to greet Jongdae.

 “Sehun, where are your manners? Greet uncle Jongdae. He’s Appa’s special friend.”

Though Sehun was too young to understand what a “special” friend was, he just gave a long hard stare at Jongdae before giving a small bow of the head. 

“Can you look over him for me for a while? I have a meeting in five. I’ll be back soon.”

“Sure thing. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him.”

“Thanks. You’re the best,” Chanyeol flashed a bright smile before grabbing his documents and leaving the pair on their own.

“So… your daddy left you?”

Sehun pouted and gave a small nod of his head.

“He doesn’t care about you anymore.”

Sehun crossed his arms once more as he nodded sadly, this time to agree with Jongdae. 

“It’s okay, little one. We could be good friends.  Forget about your daddy. I can be your new daddy. I’ll love you like my own son.”

 +++