It was the day we could all vote again for the final eviction on Friday, I was feeling so good after the last night and having Jonghyun confess to me. Of course the guy's knew it straight away the next morning, it was so obvious with the huge cheesy grin's painting our face's and hand's intertwined all the time. We were stuck together like glue, sleeping in the same bed, showering together though it was to save water, eating and relaxing together we was inseparable.

 

I really felt so happy and lucky to have Jonghyun he was certainly one of a kind and I truly got my first taste of what love felt like and I really loved it already to thinking that thing's could get better made my belly flip around with excitement. 

 

We all sat down for the last time to do this voting thing but to my surprise I was called in first, normally I was after Jonghyun. Something felt off but I pushed any negative doubt's to the back of my mind and went into the diary room to get my voting done and over with. I sat down and waited for the voice to speak.

 

"Hello Key, how are you" It was a female voice again.

 

"I'm great thank you" I replied, this was weird, normally we just get straight to it and get it over with.

 

"I have some very sad news for you" The voice said in a serious tone and my stomach dropped, what could of happened.

 

"O..ok" I stuttered out, I felt a little sick as to what it could be.

 

"I'm sorry to say your mother has died following a serious car crash a few day's ago, she died on the way to hospital" The woman spoke and I froze, Tears just pouring from eye's before it had even sunk in.

 

I was completely speechless, my mum, the only person I had in my life that never left me and stood by me had gone just like that and I never got to even say good bye or tell her I loved her. This was all too much to take in and I broke down in tears, not caring how long I took in the diary room or if I looked and sounded stupid.

 

I had lost my mum, My number one supporter who continued to love me despite coming out as gay and she even pushed me to come in to the house to try and make a friend or find a nice man to take home to met her. This couldn't be real, this was some sick joke right.

 

"I'm sorry for your loss Key, if you so wish the door is open for you to leave the house at any time" Big Brother said and I nodded my head, no word's could come out my mouth.

 

I stood up just wanting to get out the room and get some air, clear my head and think about what I want to do. I was a complete sobbing state as I entered the living room and Jonghyun rushed over, worry and concern shone through his eye's, He bent down to my sobbing form and wrapped my arm's around me pulling close to him in an attempt to calm me down.

 

It helped a little but the girls just found it funny and laughed, they laughed at me in my weakest state. Jonghyun picked me  up and carried me to the bed room so I could have some space and he will want to know what has happened. I remained in his embrace for a while, crying my eye's out, not knowing when these tears would stop falling.

 

"Shh It's ok Bummie, what's happened babe, talk to me" He asked quietly, his grip around me tightening.

 

"M..M..my m..m.mum h..h..has d..d.....d..died" I stuttered out, crying fresh new salty tears, my cheeks becoming a waterfall.

 

"Omg Key, I'm so so sorry baby, It will be ok babe I'm here for you" He cooed and I just cried in to his chest.

 

It was a good few hour's later that I had calm down and I felt numb. Not feeling's inside me, I felt like some walking zombie or robot. Jonghyun never once moved and kept whispered calming, sweet word's to me in an attempt to keep my calm and settle down a bit. I pulled my self together and decided it was best to tell Jonghyun the full story.

 

"S..she died in a car crash a few day's ago apparently" I whispered out and Jonghyun grip tightened a bit more before he loosened it, thinking he may of hurt me if it was too tight.

 

"I'm so sorry Key, I truly am" He whispered back, his comfort was really helping me in that moment and I couldn't be more grateful to him.

 

"I'm going to leave later on today Jjong, I need to sort her funeral out" I said quietly as I was the only one left in the family that had contact with her, my whole family was messed up and no one ever came near us.

 

"It's ok sweetheart, You do what you need to do ok, I be here and I be there for you once I get out" Jonghyun cooed and kissed my forehead lightly, he sent me a small warm, loving smile and it made me feel a little better but not much.

 

"Why don't you have a nap babe, I help you pack in a few hour's yeah" Jonghyun suggested and it was a good idea, I nodded my head weakly against his chest.

 

He carefully laid me down and I didn't want him to leave me on my own so I grabbed his shirt tightly as a sign I wanted him to stay with me which he got instantly, sliding into the bed next to me and pulling the cover's over our bodies. I used his chest as a pillow and fell a sleep quickly, Jonghyun hummed and began to sing me a song which really helped relax and calm me a lot.

 

His voice was like an angel singing, his arm's rubbing my back, his eye's continued to shine with nothing but pure love for me and I knew despite my troubles now, I would keep my promise to him and wait for him, I be there on the night to greet him from the house.

 

I don't know how long I was asleep for but when I woke up it had gotten pretty dark out side and Jonghyun was next to me still, in the same position. It made my heart my heart flutter that he had stayed by my side for these past few hours as I slept, I really felt lucky to have such an understanding boyfriend.

 

I nudged him a little and he grunted in his sleep, mumbling something I couldn't understand and it was rather cute and adorable, I managed a weak small smile at his dorky side. I poked him over his face and his puppy eye's fluttered open and a small smile painted it self on his face as he saw me awake.

 

"Kibummie your awake, silly question but how are you feeling now" He asked and I knew it wasn't stupid, he was worrying about me no matter how strong he tried to act.

 

"Numb, everything feels unreal right now" I  said and he nodded his head understanding.

 

"Want some help packing babe" He offered and I couldn't refuse his help, I wanted to spend my last few hour's with him as it was going to be 2 week's until I saw him again.

 

We spent the next 2 hour's getting my stuff together, I never thought I get this far on this show and winning wasn't even something I had thought about really, though despite me leaving now I have won with gaining some fantastic friends and having Jonghyun in my life as my boyfriend, my very first love. Once everything was done I took my case and said my goodbye's to Taemin, Minho, Onew and Jonghyun, they all supported my choice in leaving.

 

Knowing it was for the best and they all promised me that we can meet on the outside soon which made me feel a little better and something to look forward too. I shared a long cuddle and kiss with Jonghyun before I left.

 

"Goodbye Bummie, take care of your self ok and I promise you I be there for you once I'm out. Remember no matter what I love you Key" Jonghyun said and he was trying so hard to not cry. I wiped away a fallen droplet that made it's way down his cheeks, he placed his hand on top of mine that was cupping his cheek and leaned into the touch.

 

"I love you too Jjong and don't worry I not forgotten our promise ok, stay strong and I see you soon" I replied and kissed his lips once more and I had to leave before I ended up begging Jonghyun to leave.

 

I walked through the diary room and sat down with my case next to me, I had never thought of walking out or leaving like this and it made me feel a little bad. Was I really a failure and giving up like this, I needed to do this though then I can focus on the good stuff like getting Jonghyun to my self and away in private.

 

"Hello Key, how are you feeling this evening" Big Brother spoke and I wasn't in the mood to really talk with many people.

 

"Feel numb and like this is some horrible dream" I replied feeling tears prickle the corner's of my eye's. I wiped them away quickly with the palm's of my hands not wanting them to fall.

 

"Are you sure this is what you want Key" The woman's voice spoke and I knew what she meant, Once I walked out the door there was no going back for me. I wouldn't be able to see Jonghyun for a while

 

"Yes it is my final decision" I said and I just wanted to get these next few days over with, I had already planned to hold a small ceremony for her as I knew not many people would come anyway.

 

"Good luck with everything Key and goodbye" The female voice said and the door on the left opened and a tall man was waiting to take me out the building.

 

As I walked out in to the open fresh air, it really hit me as to what has happened and what I was doing. A car was waiting to take me home, a place where I be alone with out my mum no more. I hardly spoke on the long drive back home, I looked out at the night sky, watching the star's shining brightly, knowing a new star had joined them and the one shining brightest is my mum, lest she was in a better place now.

 

I couldn't stop thinking about Jonghyun mostly and I had already missed his touch and craved to feel his arm's around me once more. I missed him more the I realised and these next two week's were going to be so tough to get through with out him by my side.

 

"I love you Jonghyun" I whispered to my self as a few stray tears fell down my cheek's once more, the night sky becoming darker and feeling more alone then ever, I wiped my tears away and I wanted to be strong, I was going to get through this and I  was going to do it for Jonghyun.

 

He would be waiting for me at the end of the dark tunnel, he was my light and once I reach the light everything will be ok once more, I could do this no matter what, I wanted the to see the light and have it back in my life quickly and possible.

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A/N Hello to my lovely 26 subscribers :D hope you enojy this chap sorry it's sad please don't hurt me :/

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