Before:

It was a Friday night tonight, which meant it was movie night. However, I was to watch alone, for dear, sweet Jiyong was out on a date. 

For the past few weeks they've been dating, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. It was only a few weeks, but I was already fed up with all the y mushy couple stuff they did. I felt like punching something, or screaming. I felt like dressing up in black and wearing dark makeup.

God, I wanted to watch gross slasher movies just so I wouldn't think about them. I wanted to just not think about them, and forget they were even a couple. Because it hurt me, and it hurts that he doesn't notice I'm hurt.

I decided to watch a slasher film. I want to soak up all the gore before Ji tells me all about his super awesome date. With Lia.

Oh god, I started to hate her. Her perfect hair and perfect smile. Her perfect body. Ugh, I hate how everyone worshipped her. She wasn't as popular as the mean girls, but she was a model in her own right. So people knew her anyway. And I hated her. She was very...superficial.

You know what I'm going to wait for? The day my best friend tells me he's over her. It was sickening how sweet they were together. Someone could get diabetes just looking at them.

                                                                                                -----//-----

My bowl of popcorn was running low on its contents. My soda bottle was almost empty, and I was too attached to my seat to get my tub of ice cream. This was it. The scene where the lead girl would either make it or die.

"3....2....1..." I counted out loud. And then...

"Boo," 

"Ahhhh!!" I yelled, feeling someone's breath on my ear. Heat spread all over my body in fear, I felt like something was searing my skin. 

Then all of a sudden, my brother cozies himself up next to me on the couch.

"JESUS CHRIST!!!" I say.

He smiles and laughs. "Naw, it's just me."

I punch him on the shoulder and he winces. That's satisfying enough for me, after the scare he put me through.

"Yo, Lee." He says. "I saw your friend at the movies."

"Which friend?" I ask.

"The friend who's always here," he teases me. Immediately I know it's Ji. 

"I didn't know he was dating someone." He said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it was important." I told him, shrugging.

"She's hot," he says. I'm about to tell him he has Clara when he continues.

"Don't know how you're gonna compete with that, lil sis." He says, laughing. He doesn't care about the hits I give him. He still thinks it's funny. Then I stop. And all of a sudden, I'm pitying myself again.

I've never told Jay about my crush on Ji, but somehow I feel like he's known since before. 

In a few moments, he drapes an arm around me and then I feel like a little kid again with her big brother there to protect her. I know I'm in college, and I know I have my big girl pants on, but sometimes it's just great to know Jay's got my back.

"It's okay," he tells me comfortingly.

When Jay says things will be fine, I believe him. But somehow I feel like things are only going to go downhill, though I don't tell him that. 

Instead, I ask him if he wants to watch a movie with me, and he says yes. That's what we do until dawn comes, and we fall asleep on the couch---like we used to when we were kids.

Then Jiyong calls me. I love the sound of his voice in the morning, groggy but laced with honey.

I'm almost happy that he calls, but then I remember what he'd be calling me about. Almost instantly, my chest deflates and a gray cloud is floating above my head.

The first thing I hear in the morning is not the snoring of my older brother, but the stories that my best friend tells me of his night before.

After:

Friday nights were the busiest for the restaurant, right next to Sunday lunches. We've got families coming in, one right after the other and though I'm in charge of staff and kitchen management, I still wait tables when I can. I used to do that before, well, before I got pregnant. But there's nothing wrong with having an extra set of hands to help out with the customers. 

Tonight Jay and I came before opening time, like we always did, to see if the preparations for meal time were going well. 

Apparently, we didn't come early enough for the moment we stepped foot inside, we already saw someone flipping bottles in the air. And it wasn't our regular bar tender.

It was Jiyong.

I looked sideways to see Jay but saw he was just staring blankly at the scene before us. Then he looked at me.

He exhaled deeply before speaking. "You take care of this," he said like Jiyong was a spill I could just wipe off the table. Then he left me, standing there alone, because he went into the back room also known as his office. 

Oh yes, I feel the concern. Leave your younger sister to the man who got her pregnant, why don't you.

"Lee!" Someone called me.

I turned around and saw that it was one of the waiters saying my name. 
When I checked, it was Daesung standing suddenly next to me.

He was smiling, like always, which was how I remembered him. We went to high school together too, with Ji, except he was a few years younger than us. But he still sort of knew our history.

"How long has he been here?" I asked Daereferring to Jiyong. He seemed to catch on fast.

"Long enough." Dae said. "He seems to have gotten the trainees, uhm, hooked."

When I looked, it was half true. Three of our waitresses were half leaning on the bar counter and half trying not to drool while Jiyong showed them a few of his barista tricks. And of course, Ji flirted back. But I don't think he realized what he was doing to them. Of all his years in life, I don't think Jiyong knew how naturally charming he was.

"You okay?" Dae asked me, and I nodded.

"Just a little bit stressed is all," I answered him and gestured at Ji. Dae laughed.

"He checked your shifts earlier. Seems like he's plans on catching you every time you're here." He tells me. I choke on my own spit when I realize Daesung isn't kidding. 

"That little ," I gasped once I was through coughing up my lungs. 

Jiyong had no business here anymore. I don't even know why he's back. I know I'm supposed to hate him, and believe me when I say a part of me does, but I couldn't help it! My heart beat fast for a while, like when I used to have a childish crush on him, like a spark was lit all over again, like it was the mini mart all over again.

I think Dae noticed my state of shock because he spoke up teasingly all of a sudden.

"I'll be rooting for you, Lee. Fighting!" He said and pumped a fist in the air. I told him thanks, sarcastically, then I walked over to where Jiyong was.

On my way there, I heard one of the waitresses swoon. And that's when the quick beating of my heart slowed down.


                                                                                         -----//----- 

Jiyong saw me coming and smirked. I paid him no attention but instead addressed the ladies he seemed to have wrapped around his finger.

"Hey, girls!" I greeted the three closest to Jiyong. They jumped at the sound of my voice, and Jiyong found amusement at the fate of these ladies.

"Hi Lee," they greeted me like the Charlie's Angels, except it sounded like they got caught doing something wrong instead of succeeding a mission.

"Get back to work," I tell them. "Those napkins aren't going to fold themselves."

"Yes, Lee" they say and leave, but not after Ji waves at them.

"Bye, Ji!" They say hushedly, all trying not to giggle. Then they turn around to leave.

"Bye, ladies." He says and smirks. He looks at them like he's analyzing what type of people they are and shakes his head. In pity though, or in entertainment, I'm not too sure. 

When they're gone is when I focus on Ji, and that's when I start talking.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, curious as to why he's here, in my territory, acting like nothing's wrong, like nothing went down between us.

"I'm just working my old job," he tells me coolly. We used to work here together -well I still work here- before he left. He tended the bar while I waited tables. He got the biggest tips from all the women who swooned after ordering their drinks, and non---- by that, I mean the drinks. He always took me out for a slice of pizza when his pockets were overflowing with change, but that was a long time ago.

"Your slot's filled out," I tell him. And just then, our barista -now a girl- waltzes into the restaurant straight into Dae's arm. Ah yes, sweet, puppy love. I forgot he was dating.

Jiyong acknowledges the scene before us and laughs. "Pretty sure you could make an opening for me," he tells me.

"Not likely," I answer him. "Let me ask you again." I say. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here.." He says, then clears his throat. This means he's getting to the main point of his visit. "I'm here to ask you out."

I scoff, quite loudly. I know it's loud because Dae gives me an awkward look.

"Quit playing with me, Ji." I tell him, cracking up, like it's a response to a funny joke. "What's a DJ like you doing bar tending here?" 

He sighs and runs a hand through his head. "The world can wait, Lee," he tells me lightly albeit seriously. "--but not you," he says. My heart stings a little when he says those words, and for a while I miss him like I did when Hana was born. And for a while, I felt the loneliness swell up inside me.

"I was always here." I tell him. "I never left."

That was it, the hard, cold truth. I was always gonna be here, even when I don't want to be.

"Let's go out tomorrow." He says so randomly that I stop pitying myself.

"What?" I ask him, in utter disbelief.

"To the park, let's go out tomorrow. With Hana," he says.

There's a light in his eyes, and it takes a while before I realize that it's hope I see in them. I know I'm still mad at him, but I don't want to be the one who dims out that light. So I say, "Okay."

"I'll pick you up!" He tells me almost immediately. That light in his eyes now makes his whole face glow, and I see his excitement level has gone up, way higher than was intended.

"I mean," he says doubling back. Then he sits on the counter and jumps over it so that he is now standing in front of me. "I mean, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll pick you up at around 9AM?"

"Sure," I tell him and nod. He's quite close enough that I can smell him. That soapy, minty smell, with a hint of lime that I'm sure comes from his aftershave.

"I'd pick you up later, but I heard the sun's rays were good for kids before 11 o'clock, or was it 10?" He told me.

I'm not able to think about an adequate response apart from "sure," because I'm too surprised at what he said.

Was he implying he did baby research?

"Bye," he tells me before turning to leave. I see a satisfied and relieved look play on his face before he heads out the door. And I think  about what kind of grave I've dug myself into right now.

I get pulled back to reality when I hear the sound of my brother clearing his throat. I look at him and he's shaking his head at me as if to say "you couldn't just stay away, huh."

"What??" I ask him, eyes wide and hands raised. It's not as if I did this for me. I did this for Hana, too!

My irrationally rational self, if there were such a thing, would have pounded Jiyong's pretty boy face right here and now. But a part of me says Hana should get to see her dad, too. And that tiny part seems to have won today. 

a/n

I'm so sorry for the terrible wait. :( I will try my best to update soon! I hope you enjoy!

And thank you to all the new subscribers! :)