Now:

 

I was staring at him for a total of five minutes since I got into the 7/11 store in town. I was staring at him scanning a  rack of gum by the cashier until he finally picked one out and threw it to the counter. He picked spearmint.

 

He looked so fresh, and new, like there was something different about him I couldn't wrap my finger on. It was like he lived life in the years he wasn't around, and he soaked up all he could about it before he returned back to this dump where I've been stuck in since God knows when.

 

I looked at him and remembered how it was like before. I remembered when I was in love with my best friend, and he never found out. I remembered waking up one morning and he was gone. Out of my life with no hint at all if he was coming back. Oh yes, that I remembered.

 

A wave of memories washed over me like a wave would wash away footprints along the shore, and then I'm soaked in a feeling of nostalgia I didn't even want to feel. Before I knew it, I was suddenly staring at him staring at me.

 

I tried my best not to let it show that my insides were exploding, like a volcano in the pacific ring of fire, and I think it worked because he smiled at me, actually smiled at me. Oh, wait, maybe he did notice that my insides were exploding.

 

He took a sip from the huge Slurpee he was holding and paused before saying "Hey, Lee." Then he smiled at me like he actually missed me.

 

Jiyong was beautiful. He always was, and he always will be. Even when we're old and gray, I'm pretty sure he would still look beautiful. He was tall and lean, and angular in every good way possible. When he smiled, it was like the whole world was right. As if there was no such thing as war in the Middle East, or in our own country, or murder or theft or corruption. As if nobody had to ask for world peace anymore, because peace was right here. That's what it looked like to me when he smiled.

 

The crinkles by his eyes showed that he was extremely amused by our run in, like he planned it all out. Like he knew I would be here. He was like an open book when he let his feelings show, and right now, he was glad.

 

He has also known for a while that I have been staring at him.

 

I catch myself from the predicament that I am in and steady the beat of my pounding heart until it's a smooth rhythm.

 

"Hey," I tell him as if bumping into him is the most casual thing of all, as if it's the most normal thing of all.

 

In a few seconds, he crosses the distance between us and wraps his arms around me. And I thought . 

 

There was this movie I recalled but wasn't too familiar with. I didn't know the title of the film, but I recalled a line. I remember the character saying "you had me at hello." The thing was, I was weak when it came to Jiyong. He was my kryptonite. He did have me at hello.

 

I was this close to succumbing to his touch. This close to losing myself in his all too familiar scent, when suddenly I thought about the time he was gone and the pain he put me through. He hurt me physically and emotionally that I thought I'd have lost my mind. It wasn't just the fact that it was the boy I loved who up and left, but it was the fact that my best friend did. 

 

So I pushed him away at arms length before this got too awkward, or rather normal in his point of view.

 

"You look good," he says. That's most probably because he hasn't seen me in forever. If he saw me in this same situation we were in right now three years ago, he wouldn't have said the same thing.

 

He must be lying. That's the only possible explanation I can think of as to why he tells me I look good. I'm not; I am a mess. My hair is messed up. I look sticky because of the summer heat. I am pounds heavier compared to the last time we were together. My jeans are ripped by the knees, and now I'm consciously tugging on the strap of my tank top because I just realized that it has been slipping off my shoulder since before I even got inside the mini mart. 

 

But like an idiot I say, "thanks."

 

"You look good too," I tell him suddenly and I don't know where this sudden voice inside me comes from. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to see him. And yet, I'm having a conversation with him. At 7/11. Here, of all places, really.

 

I think I'm going to be sick, I thought to myself.

 

Then I remember, I can't be sick and throw up. I have to go home and fast. So, I start picking up the things I actually came to get: a can of soda, a cup of chocolate pudding (snack sized), and a pack of Goldfish crackers. I went to pay for it by the counter, bypassing Jiyong's unpaid pack of gum so I could get the hell out of here.

 

Through all of this though, Jiyong laughed. "Since when did you pick Goldfish over Doritos?"

 

Okay, that was it. I stared at him coldly before the cashier gave me my purchases.

 

"Since three years ago." I tell him.

 

That was enough to send him back-pedaling. He knew he crossed a line. It was good he knew when to step back.

 

"I'm gonna go on ahead," I told him as a form of goodbye. 

 

He took another gulp of the Slurpee in his hand. A little bit of it dripped from the side of his mouth and he his lower lip slowly before responding. Then he smirked. Oh God, I hated him.

 

"It was nice seeing you, Riley." He told me and tipped his head in my direction. "See you around."

 

I shrugged and said "See you around." Then I turned and headed for the door.

 

 

The moment I hit the gas, all I could think of was Hana. I just wanted to get home to Hana. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and lose myself in her and never let her go.

 

 

 

Before:

 

"Kids, do you want any snacks?" His mom hollered by the glass sliding door that lead to the patio. Jiyong and I were lounging around their backyard. In this weather though, sunbathing was more like it. He was wearing a plain white undershirt and board shorts that you wore for swimming. I was wearing jean shorts and a loose tank. We were both facing the sky, sunglasses making it a hint of setting-sun-orange instead of just bright blue.

 

"Mother, we are not kids." He tells his mom, and by the sound of his voice, he was in the zone between half-awake and half-asleep.

 

"If you live under my roof, you're still a kid." She tells him and Jiyong keeps his mouth shut. I, on the other hand, laugh.

 

Jiyong grumbles before speaking. "Yeah, well, I won't be soon."

 

His mom laughs, but it sounds more of like a cackle. Like she doesn't believe him and she's just telling him to try. "Yeah, well, you are right now. So there's no point in arguing."

 

Then, his mom ignored him. "What about you, Riley? Want anything to eat?"

 

I contemplate on that a while, and that's when Jiyong sits up to stare me down. He takes off his sunglasses to do just that, now I'm left staring at his exquisite face. 

 

That's when I smirk and say "What do you have, Mrs. K?"

 

"I've got cupcakes and sandwiches...or do you want a meal?" she tells me kindly. "What'll it be?"

 

"Cupcakes!" I yell.

 

Jiyong's mom bakes the best cupcakes, cakes, cookies, everything! I wouldn't say no if she offered me anything; I'd seize the opportunity and say "thank you!" ---Which is exactly what I did.

 

I was satisfied to get fed, but apparently Jiyong was upset. "You don't want the damn cupcake," he told me.

 

I smirked at him before saying "I do."

 

"You don't," he told me firmly. And before I knew it, we were pinning each other down on the lawn, neck to neck, toe to toe. He started it, but I always won.

 

Jiyong scowled in defeat, and we resumed our original position facing the sky. The sunglasses were back on as we soaked up the sun hitting our skin.

 

"Fine," he began. "Eat the damn cupcake. I don't care."

 

"And why the hell would you care?"

 

"Because they make people fat."

 

"They taste delicious, you jerk." I told him. I thought about the amazing chocolate cupcakes Mrs. Kwon would make, topped with a dark chocolate ganache icing. These sweet babies were spectacular. Death by chocolate was a death I welcomed with open arms.

 

We weren't facing each other, but I knew him enough to know that he was still scowling. He sighed in frustration. "That's exactly why they make you fat," he said.

 

 

-----//-----

 

 

That night, we slept in his backyard. We camped underneath the stars, side by side.

 

Again, his mom knew where we were and she was fine with it.

 

Nothing was going to happen to us. Even if I wanted things to happen, I knew nothing would. My life is sad. He was never going to see me the way that I saw him. So to make myself feel better, I asked him a question.

 

"What's the most interesting thing in your life right now? Don't say your guitar or music."

 

He groaned. "But music is the best answer."

 

"No it's not," I told him. He could say that I was the most interesting thing in his life.

 

...okay, who am I kidding? That would be by a long shot. Alright, so music was his best answer, but it wasn't the only possible answer. 

 

"Can I say girls?"

 

"No."

 

I tell him "no" because I'm a girl, and when he says girls, I feel degraded. Like I'm just this piece of trash people can toss away so easily. Like I'm the same as every other girl there is out there. So no, I will not be generalized like that. I will not let him say girls.

 

"Why do you make everything so difficult?" He asked me impatiently.

 

"Because I am difficult," I answered him in the same manner as well.

 

"Fine," he says in defeat and stays silent for a while as he thinks about his answer. Then he says, "the weather."

 

"The weather?" I repeat, a little bit baffled. "Why?"

 

I felt him shrug beside me before he answered my question.

 

"Because it changes everyday."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n

Hey there! First chapter's up! :) I'll be out of town for a couple of days, so in the mean time...tell me what you think! Hehe.

Thanks for subbing!! ^_^