"In this dream that seemed like I'd never wake from, in your eyes that are looking at me
I'm not there, I'm alone by myself, please save me from this dark place."
Jun Jin prayed silently and unconsiously with his eyes closed. He didn't want to wake up from his sleep, his only way to see Hyesung again. He wanted to stay in this dark room forever, it felt safe and secure but deep from his heart, he wanted to be saved.
"Hello, I just moved into the apartment next door today. My name is Eric. Nice to meet you." I greeted the net door lady.
"Wow, you're so handsome! Since you just moved in, if you need anything, just come over and ask me." She replied enthusiastically.
"Thank you for your offer. Is there anybody living in the apartment next to mine? The one on the left because I rang the doorbell but no one answered." I asked because the landlord told me it's occupied.
"Ah.... There's a young man living there but I hardly see him goes outside. I wonder if he's some kind of psycho, it's so creepy. I don't think you should meet him, just ignore it." The lady said while shivered.
It seemed creepy but I was curious. How can a person live without going out? Don't they feel lonely and bored? I'll try to meet the guy tomorrow, after I unpack all my stuffs.
Even though he was so tired from unpacking, Eric woke up earlier than his usual. He loved his sleep the most, he could practically sleep anywhere for twelve hours straight that his mother thought he fainted. After doing some morning stretches, Eric was about to leave his apartment for morning jog but he saw a milk carton in front of his door. He looked around and saw that almost every apartment had it too. Must be a regular service here. Suddenly, an idea sparked, Eric quickly went into his apartment, grabbed a pen and sticky notes. He picked up the milk carton in front of the mysterious apartment and wrote something as a wide smile appeared on his face. As he put the carton back to its rightful place, Eric wished he can meet the person in the apartment.
After Eric had left, a hand hesitantly grabbed the carton. The door wans't fully opened, it was opened just enoudh for the hand to go through. Jun Jin was scared, he was always afraid of opening the door. What if some kidnappers were outside, ready to grab him? What if some gangsters were about to kill him? What if the milk is poisoned? The outside world seemed to be full of dangers, threats and risks but Jun Jin still ordered milk everyday. It was Hyesung's favourite so he wanted to show how much he care for the other. While holding the milk carton up, Jun Jin noticed the sticky note on it but he couldn't read the words, his room was just too dark. Jun Jin moved to the window but he didn't open the curtains, he was scared that the sun would blind his eyes. He tried to read the note from the dull light that passed through the curtains.
[Hello neighbour, I just moved in next door. I would love to meet you. =D]
The message irrated Jun Jin, he just wanted to be alone, he didn't want to have any connections to others, not anymore. Everyone that was important to him had left him forever. He couldn't bear to be close to another while knowing there are possibilities they would leave. He was cursed, that was what he always tell himself. After he had finished drinking the milk, Jun Jin crawled back into bed, took some sleeping pills and whispered to himself.
"Hyesung-ah, just wait a bit longer. I'm coming now."
Eric noticed that the milk carton was gone when he got back from his morning jog, he was hoping that the other would leave some messages but there was nothing. It made Eric feel frustrated and curious, he wanted to know the identity of the other so bad. Nodoby had made him feel this curious, people had always opened themselves to him easily. This was the first timehe couldn't talk or even see the person.
"I'll definitely meet him tomorrow. I don't care what it takes." Eric mumbled to himself as his determination fired up.
The next morning came, once again, Eric had woken up early, but this time, intentionally. He wanted to meet the other when the guy get his milk. Eric quietly waited in front of the door, time passed by and Eric felt like giving up. Suddenly, the door slightly opened, a hand reached out for the milk carton, Eric knew it's now or never, he quickly grabbed the hand. Jun Jin startled as he felt someone grabbed his hand. He tried to shake the hand off and close the door but the other was too strong. Jun Jin could shake Eric off with ease in the past, when he was healthy and full of energy, but at that very moment, Jun Jin hadn't have proper meals for months. He was surviving on milk, soju, instant noodles and delivered food. Jun Jin couldn't struggle any longer, he wanted to go back to sleep, he opened the door a bit more, allowed Eric to see part of his face. Eric was surprised to see such a handsome man even though the guy looked messy, somewhat sick and lifeless.
"Please ... let...go of..my hand." Jun Jin stuttered, he hadn't spoken for ages.
"I'm sorry but I can't. I want to meet you. Can I go into your apartment? Please?" Eric replied as he used his ultimate charm, puppy eyes.
"No. Let go.. of my.. hand!" Jun Jin shouted as he tried to pull in harder.
"I'm not letting go. Not until you let me in." Eric persisted, he was so interested in the man he had just met. There was something in his eyes begging Eric that the other needs salvation.
"Fine ... but only for .... a few minutes." Jun Jin gave up. He opened the door wider to let Eric in.
It was very dark that Eric almost tripped over some shoes. He could smell the strong soju mixed with instant noodles odour lingering in the air. As his eyes began to get use to the dark, he could see soju bottles lying here and there, all over the place. Eric was never afraid of the dark nor confined space but the air in the apartment was somewhat suffocating, depressing and cold which sent a chill down his spine. On the wall, there were so many photo frames of Jun Jin and another man, they were smiling brightly which made his heart fluttered. He was captivated by Jun Jin's smile, a smile that he couldn't have imagine that come from the man that was standing in front of him.
"Can you leave now? I need to sleep." Jun Jin coldly said to Eric as he got his sense of speech back.
"Can't we have a chat? You don't even know my name. It's Eric. Your name?"
"Jun Jin. Just leave. I don't like to have people in my house. Now, get out!" Jun Jin demanded.
"I got it. I'll come again tomorrow. If you don't open the door, I'll keep ringing the bell." Eric said as he was leaving.
After having a quick breakfast (instant noodles), Jun jIn went back to bed. He felt sorry that he couldn't meet Hyesung at the usual time. That guy, what was the name? Who care, he was so annoying! I don't want to be late! I don't want to make Hyesungie wait!
The bell kept on ringing, it was getting on Jun Jin's nerve. He opened the door, almost screamed at the guy but he stopped as soon as he saw the beaming bright smile.
"I'm here to return the shoes, I grabbed them yesterday without your permission." Eric grinned.
"Just give them to me." Jun Jin replied.
"I'll put them back. Let me in."
"Make it quick!"
Eric already slipped into the apartment, as he placed the shoes on the rack, he was unconciously re-organised the rack.
"What are you doing?" Jun Jin was standing behind Eric.
"Just a little cleaning. Don't you ever clean your house?"
"Why does it matter to you? Leave!" Jun Jin shouted as he was annoyed. Once again, he was late to meet Hyesung.
"Isn't it suffocating in here? You should go outside and have some fresh air. You will know how wonderful the world can be. The bright sun, the cool breeze, the busy streets, don't you find it exciting?"
"No! The sun can blind my eyes. The wind can give me a cold. I can even get involve in a car accident. I like my solitude."
"Why so pessimistic? Don't you like travelling? I can see that you have many photos of beautiful landscapes."
"That was ages ago. I can always see those scenes on tivi."
"I'll make you beakfast." Eric offered so he could stay longer.
"Just leave, can't you?" Jun Jin almost begged.
"After you have a proper meal."
Eric's cooking was amazingly delicious but Jun Jin believed that it was because he hadn't have a proper meal since months. As Eric had promised, he left after doing the dishes. Somehow, Jun Jin could feel his heart was warmed up but the other's action. The ice in his heart was starting to melt without him noticing. No one could withstand his mean attitude before beside Hyesung, they gave up straight away on the first encounter. Jun Jin was still sitting at the dining table in a daze until he suddenly remembered that he has to meet Hyesung.
Every morning before work, Eric would come over to Jun Jin's apartment with the excuse that he had to return something he had stolen the day before. Jun Jin didn't mind about Eric's presence anymore, the guy had became part of his routine. He found himself opening up to Eric as he told the guy about his hobbies and his burdened heart was lightened bit by bit. Eric gave him a feeling of understand and empathy that he couldn't feel from anyone else. He was able to let go of Hyesung a little everyday as he started to look forward to meet Eric. Secretly, Jun Jin wished that Eric could stay by his side forever, his presence eased the heartache the pierced Jun Jin's heart.
It had been a month since their first meeting, Eric came over to have dinner as it was the weekend.
"Do you like the dark that much?" Eric asked as they were watching movie.
"It makes me feel safe." Jun Jin mumbled.
"Why do you need to feel safe? There's nothing out there, and if there's anything, I will protect you."
"You don't know how scary the outside can be. Hyesung was killed by the outside world."
"Who's Hyesung?" Eric raised his eyebrows as Jun Jin never mentioned about his relationships.
"He was the only person that cared for me. He was my boyfriend. We grew up toghether in an orphanage."
"How did he passed away?" Eric blurted out but immediately regreted it as he saw sadness in Jun Jin's eyes. "I'm sorry, you don't have to talk about it."
"It's okay. I was planning to tell you anyway. He died in a car accident. A drunk bastard was speeding and it just had to be him. After his death, I couldn't go outside anymore. Even though life had become meaningless, I want to live on to treasure our memories. I used to see him in my dreams so I spent most of the day sleeping so I could meet him."
"I'm here. You can cry." Eric placed his arm over Jun Jin's shoulder, pulled him in closer as he could hear Jun Jin's sobs. As soon as Jun Jin heard the sentence, he bursted out in tears. He had never cried that much since Hyesung's death, he thought his tears were dried out already.
"I won't force you to come out to the light even though I want to show you the beautiful world. I will stay in the dark with you. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. Will you give me a chance to ease the pain?" Eric asked Jun Jin when he had stopped crying.
"I do have feelings for you but I still love Hyesung..."
"I'll wait. It's okay to fall in love again, just don't doubt your feelings. You had a painful heartbreak, it scarred you but don't be afraid, I will protect your heart this time so it will never break again. I want to show you that everyone deserves to be loved."
"I'll give it a try." Jun Jin softly replied as he felt asleep while leaning on Eric's shoulder. Eric tenderly embraced Jun Jin, wishing that he could ease all the pains that Jun Jin was suffering from. They were sleeping soundly and peacefully in each other's embrace. Jun Jin was finally able to sleep without the help of sleeping pills. he felt loved, a feeling that was long lost.
One day, in the near future, Jun Jin will be able to enjoy the outside with eric. He will be able to feel happy and free once again but for now, he and Eric are content in the dark. They have each other and Eric will make him smile.
Some inspiration from Utdaga( While smiling) and Re-love :)) Hope you guys like it! I'm planning on a chaptered fic so that might be upload by next week. I'm also excited as I just ordered Shin Hyesung's Winter Poetry album xD Can't wait till it arrive :))