Kibum, I am tired of all this. Why can’t you just see that I love you? 
I don’t want to love you anymore; I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Days have passed, and I still love you, watching you love someone else instead. Watching you laugh or smile to someone else that isn’t me, do you know how much it makes my heart ache?

I am sorry that I don’t have the courage to confess to you, I am sorry for loving you, I am sorry for causing you sadness.

It’s my mistake for not making you love me more
It’s my mistake for loving you more than you love me
It’s my mistake for not making you love me as much as I wanted you to.

Remember how you would text me? I know I shouldn’t be thinking of you, but I just cant help it. I told myself that I don’t like you anymore, and that I hate you. But whom can I lie? I hate it when I try to convince myself that I do not like you, it will never work. I don’t want to cry because of you anymore. I don’t want to fake a smile when I am sad, I want to be happy, I want to be genuinely happy. You promised to text me everyday did you forget? Where did the promise go? I hate that I am always taking the initiative to talk to you. 

How much longer must I cry
As I’m trusting that promise/ I’m only trusting/ believing that promise

It hurts to see you being so nice to other people but not me. I thought of transferring school but it just makes me feel like a coward that doesn’t dare to overcome this relationship. Maybe, just maybe if I just hold on a little more, you might also tell me that you love me the way I love you, but that is clearly impossible. Then again, I lied to myself I hated you, that I don’t like you one bit, that you are conceited, that you are a liar. That probably worked for a little while, but you just have to ruin all this by saying, “Jinki-ya, do you miss me? I miss you! Loves, Bummie” I replied, “HAHAHA, I bet you missed texting me.” “No, why would I miss texting you, I have Jonghyun! :D” You replied quickly. And then it hit me, yeah, why would you miss messaging me, you have your boyfriend. I threw my phone aside and refusing to reply. 

You know. You know that my heart is hurting/aching
You can’t just ignore and laugh/smile like that.

About 2 hours later, I checked my phone and there wasn’t any reply from you. I bet you are busy texting your boyfriend. I am sorry for not being able to reply your message. But, I don’t think you even care right? “One message from Kibum<3” A notification popped out, I immediately opened the message. “Hey, can you help me do something?” What do you want me to do this time? I took my phone up and started typing, “Yeah? What do you want me to do for you?” But then I realized I was typing too much, I then delete that message and typed “Hmm?” instead. I hate how you only talk to me when you need something from me. 

I knew I couldn’t have you
But my heart(my love for you) just kept growing
It’s my mistake for
Waiting by myself
Regretting by myself
Loving you.

I am sorry I couldn’t stop falling myself from falling in love with you. I hate myself for falling for someone I shouldn’t. I am such an idiot, I know I will get hurt, but I continued loving you. It hurts to see you are happy with your boyfriend. With every smile you smile to him, my heart breaks bit by bit. With every kiss you give him, it feels like my heart is being stabbed continuously. I hate myself for falling for you and making myself feel this way.

Even though my heart was hurting/aching
It’s my mistake for not letting you go/forgetting you
I’m such a fool
I knew I would get hurt and couldn’t let go

Now that it has come to a point where it is impossible to forget you, I might as well just leave this school. I don’t want to see you two make out anymore, especially when you both have the same class with me. Do you even spare a thought for my feelings? Stop making me miss you, stop making me love you, stop being so nice to me. I want to forget all about you. Its time for me to stop all these pretentious acts. I should stop hoping, so that when the reality sinks in and I realize that you don’t love me the way I love you, it wouldn’t hurt that much. I envy those who has someone they love and that person loves them back. It hurts to know that you won’t be mine no matter how hard I try.

it’s my mistake
Even though it could be all my fault/mistake
That’s ok. As long as you’re there…
Always…

“Please forgive me for being like this. Who loved you” After all, this was a wrong one-sided love. Right now, I shall find someone that loves me the way I love them, its time to forget all about you, its time to start afresh because I know no matter what I do, I will never ever be the first in your heart, even though you are always the first in my heart.

The worse thing you can do is to make me fall for you with no intention to catch me at all and making me have false hopes.