“Kyungsoo, wake up. We’re here.” Sleepily peering over his shoulder, Kyungsoo saw Baekhyun and beyond him, he saw the white building he dreaded. He and Baekhyun picked up their stuff and started for the hospital. Baekhyun did most of the talking to the nurses because Kyungsoo felt he was too unstable to talk to anyone yet. He looked around and got even more depressed. He knew he was here because of Kai and he knew he hated it.

“Kyungsoo, c’mon. I found where his room is.” He only nodded and followed listlessly behind. The halls were white and sterile, not many people past them so it was quiet. Kyungsoo wasn’t used to it. He was used to boisterous laughter, lewd and dirty comments and the dance music that always surrounded him. It made him realize even more that Kai wasn’t there for him anymore. They stopped by a door and he stood behind Baekhyun, not daring to make any movement, as if it would disturb the hall.

 Baekhyun put down the bags he and Kyungsoo was carrying outside the door. He faced Kyungsoo and lifted his downturned face. This wasn’t the Kyungsoo he knew. This was far from the Kyungsoo he knew.

“Kyung…Listen to me. Kai is in there, he isn’t well, and we both know that. If the doctor says anything that would mean bad things for him, I want you to remember that me and Chanyeol will be here for you.” He pulled Kyungsoo close for a soft peck on his lips and a tight hug. They both grab the bags again, one hand holding the others, and enter the room.

It was white, like the rest of the hospital. It was large and had a small sitting area for visitors. On a lone bed was Kai, he was strapped to a dextrose and was still sleeping. He looked pale, a contrast to his usual energetic tan, and he was still. Very still, it was hard to even think this was Kai, the man who could never sit still.

Baekhyun walked over to Chanyeol who was resting his head on the side of the bed, asleep. He looked stressed and worried even though he was asleep. His form was curved over on a chair, it didn’t look comfortable. Baekhyun shakes him.

“Baek? I’m glad you’re both here now…the doctor wanted to talk about Kai’s condition but the hospital policy doesn’t allow non-family members to be briefed unless a family member is here. Kyungsoo, I’ll go get the doctor.” Chanyeol was just as sad as Kyungsoo and Baekhyun but he was also angry, he wanted to know what happened to his best friend but that stupid policy didn’t allow it. He knew he was stomping when he reached the door but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to know.

The walk to the nurses’ station was short and quiet. He asked for Kai’s doctor and was told that he’d be with them as soon as they could. He walked back and thought of Kai. It was weird to see his friend not moving and very quiet. He was used to being teased and listening to the dance music Kai used when he danced.

Opening his eyes, Kai saw that he wasn’t falling anymore, instead he was on the ground, a white ground and everywhere was white. Though it was bright, he felt a darkness creeping into him. He started to walk around; he did not find anything, just more white. Directions seemed to elude him because he didn’t know where he was going or if he was even moving.

“Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo!” He heard no reply. It was hopeless he was lost and he was without his Kyungsoo. He sighed. This place was definitely a dream, it was endless and surreal. How was he supposed to wake up?

Thump.

The sound was loud but muffled, he looked everywhere then he saw it. A small black figure was standing far away from him; he ran to it, this could be his hope of getting out. The more he ran, the more the figure got bigger, and he finally saw that it wasn’t one figure but two. It was a tall lamp post, lighting the area around it a soft yellow glow and standing under it was Kyungsoo but he looked younger, 10 years younger to be exact.

 Now he remembers. This was where they first met, a lone man standing under a lamp post as he waited for someone or something. The lamp post was both light and warmth from the cold night air. Kai remembered passing by him after getting stood up for a date because the woman found out she wasn’t exactly number one, two, three or four. The soft glow made his features immaculate and his big brown eyes made him look younger and more innocent, his nose wrinkling from the smell of the night air and his mouth soft looking and plump.

The young Kyungsoo looked at him and smiled.

“Jongin…”

Chanyeol walked into the room and sat by Baekhyun. Kyungsoo was in the seat he used to sit in. He was watching Kai avidly, any little movement made Kyungsoo’s heart lurch with anxiousness. It was sad and desperate, he knew, but this was the only thing he could do. Kai was all he had, being an orphan then meeting someone who valued him like the world, it was his only reminder that he was not a worthless person. But Kai was angry at him and would still probably be angry.

THUMP.

Kyungsoo looked behind him and saw Chanyeol drop the bag that was on the coach, it echoed loudly and made Baekhyun cringe a little.

“Jongin…”He called out one more time, hoping it would wake his beloved. It was in vain.

He sighed, at least he now had friends but they would also serve as a reminder of Kai, ever he refused Kyungsoo and the child…

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