Kai opened his eyes; he was still in the shower. Getting up, he turns off the shower. He half expected that he would have drowned by now. His regret was eating him up inside and yet he felt like he didn't need to apologize. Was it wrong of him? This would be the second time he betrays Kyungsoo. He can't help but feel like this could be the last time he would be able to have his beloved close to him. Is it wrong...Why was he so treacherous? Why was he so easily tempted? This was the same as 8 years ago. His betrayal was something he hated to think about, though it led to his marriage to his beloved, it still made him think what would have happened had he not been forgiven...Would he eventually see Kyungsoo around with someone else?

"Why do i have to be such an idiot? Why..." Tears he held back now stained his face. He sat down on his bed; the towel he used to dry himself now lay forgotten on the floor. He lay back on his bed, the one he shared with Kyungsoo but also with Baekhyun. He pulled the blanket over his body and lay there on his side, thinking how he would make Kyungsoo forgive him.

Kyungsoo sat on their porch, Baekhyun had left a long time ago but he wanted to be away from Kai for now. The snow was steadily falling from the sky and it looked beautiful. His bare feet were cold but he still left them by the snow piling at the edge of the porch. The burning cold was a pleasant reminder that he was still alive and that this wasn't a dream. This morning when he arrived from the grocery he was so giddy because of the good news he wanted to tell Kai. He wanted to surprise him by making breakfast so he went to the grocery store to resupply on their stocks and expected to find Kai awake and happy by the time he came back.

But he was wrong. He came home with Kai absolutely livid and screaming while Baekhyun, his best friend, was on the floor crying his little tears out. It was the first time Kai had raised his voice like that. It's true they fought but it was never this intense and Kai never walked out on him. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He really wanted to tell Kai the good news but with how things are now, Kai may even get angrier. When everything cools down, he promises himself to tell Kai the hopefully wonderful news.

Kai turned and twisted in the sheets. He forced himself to fall asleep but it was hard. Seeing Baekhyun in his arms was harsh to the mind, even harsher was the sight of the crest fallen Kyungsoo that looked sad and with eyes filling with tears though he held it back. What did Kyungsoo do to deserve all I’ve done to him? He’s probably suffering with all of Kai’s shortcomings and betrayals. He thought 8 years ago would be the last time…

FLASHBACK

8 years ago…

“C’mon, Kai, the bars will be closed by the time you finish dressing” screams Chanyeol from the window outside Kai’s room. Kai rolls his eyes and flips Chanyeol the finger.

“Just give me a minute. I’m still on the phone…” He removes his hand from the receiver. “Okay, Kyungsoo, I’ll just be out with Chanyeol, he says he has found someone tonight and he really wants to tail them. I’m his best friend I have to go with him.” The other end was silent then a soft reply came.

“Okay, be safe…Keep Chanyeol from harassing people when he gets drunk.” It was meek and Kai found it cute that his new lover was so worried about him. The boy was a lot shorter than him and a lot thinner too. Perhaps the only thing Kyungsoo has bigger than Kai would be his eyes. His big and beautiful brown eyes that sparkle with love that Kai has always found adorable to look at would stare at him and make request then blush redder than a tomato. Kai found that among his lovers, Kyungsoo was the first that would be flustered in asking him to do little things like taking out the boxes on the top shelf, though Kai wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment in having to make Kai do anything or his being too short that he becomes a flustered ball of stutters.

But for now, he would only be able to hear his Kyungsoo’s voice because his lover was abroad because an uncle died. It was sad and he would be gone for at least a month so Kai cherished every call he had and would even try to ignore everything around him just so he can stop his breaking heart from breaking even more because Kyungsoo was away. But even he couldn’t channel out Chanyeol’s screaming and whining. Kai goes out of his house and meets Chanyeol in the front gate. Chanyeol punches him lightly on the shoulder and pouts.

“You take too long! What would you do if my Baekhyun isn’t in the bar anymore?” Chanyeol was half serious but he couldn’t ever be angry with the kid he grew up with.

“Your Bacon…?” Chanyeol looks at him weirdly and starts laughing crazily. Seriously, everyone who would hear Baekhyun’s name for the first time would always think that it was bacon he was talking about.

“Oh, Kai! This is why you are my best friend. C’mon, let’s head out to the bar my beloved sings at!” Chanyeol points to a random direction and grabs Kai along in his march. It was weird to look at and Kai knew people were laughing but he had gotten used to it after so long.

They arrive at a small bar. It was the type that had live entertainment slightly dim lights and a lot of idiots in the guise of sophisticated people. This wasn’t the type of place you would find either Kai or Chanyeol but here they were, sitting there , drinking a few beers and Chanyeol ogling the singer that looked way too young in Kai’s perspective. That kid looked like he was barely 18.

“Chan, are you sure that kid’s even allowed to be here? He looks like he just got out of middle school.” Chanyeol doesn’t stop ogling the singer on stage. He looked like a kid in front of a candy store, his eyes wide and unceasingly following every movement the singer made and his lips were pulled in a smile that to most would remind them of their childhood clown nightmares but Kai knew that, that was his smile when he got into something so much that he becomes oblivious of the world. He turns slightly to Kai and answers

“Kai, what are you talking about? Baek is older than both of us, it’s just how he is…so cute and small and …I really want to hug him.” Chanyeol turns back to the stage and avidly claps his hands as the singer ends his first set. He was strangely docile even with what he just said. Usually he would already be up on stage and trying to get into the singer’s pants but now, he seemed to really like this guy.

“Okay, I’ll get more beers and maybe.” Kai stands up and goes to the bar. He was feeling awfully annoyed, he was here instead of at Kyungsoo on a Saturday night but he knew he would still stick by Chanyeol when he really seemed to need it. Passing a table with some scantily dressed ladies with way to much make up, he hears them giggle and point at him. He knew he looked hot, that’s what took him so long to dress and he knew not just the ladies of that table were eyeing him, half the bar was eyeing him! He gets onto the counter and sits on the high stool near the bartender.

“Two more of the vodka we ordered and some chips.” It was ridiculous but he could never drink beer without chips. A hot blond passes him and sits on the stool a seat away. The blond was eyeing him but he didn’t care. He had his Kyungsoo.

“Hey.” He nods his acknowledgement and stares at the blond from the corner of his eyes. Her hair was long and reached the middle of her back. She was very curvy and had this essence of being very European but she didn’t have an accent. The blond looks his way and smiles seductively. He was shocked, nearly dropping his jaw. This woman had these big brown eyes that rounded up into a sideways teardrop shape and had full lips that were so kissable, her skin was pale and she had this big doe eyed expression and she looked like Kyungsoo. He faces her and stares into her eyes. It was like so much like Kyungsoo.

“See something you like?” Kai looks at her again and thinks hard, this wasn’t Kyungsoo but…

“Hmm…depends if I get to see everything.” He knew he was the one that said those words but it felt odd almost as if he was watching himself make a mistake that he would greatly regret. But the present Kai was too and he missed Kyungsoo so much.

Chanyeol stares as Baekhyun gets off the stage for a break. He sighs, if only he could watch him for longer. He looks around and doesn’t see Kai. His best friend left to get beer but it shouldn’t take this long to get a few things from the bar. He then hears a laugh that he knew by heart, he looks to the direction and sees Kai with a woman who looked to foreign but judging from how Kai was practically glued to her as he talked, she seemed to know the native language. Chanyeol didn’t like it. His best friend was gonna do something he would greatly regret. Walking up to the bar to get Kai, he can settle with coming back next time to see Baekhyun, he was gonna save his best friend from making a bad mistaking. He steps beside Kai and grabs his shoulder.

“Hey, let’s go home.”

“Hey, let’s go home.” It was Chanyeol, he wrenches Kai away from the blond Kyungsoo-lady he was talking to and makes a stern face that Kai has only seen when Chanyeol was reprimanding people. It wasn’t often but Kai knew that expression.

“Chanyeol, go ahead if you want. I’m gonna stay a while. I’ll pay the bill and all...”

“No, we are going home.” He leans in and whispers harshly. “I don’t want you to do something you are going to regret.”

“It’s fine; I’m just trying to help this young lady around.” Kai didn’t smell of alcohol but Chanyeol knew he wasn’t completely sober. Kai was the loyal type, though he switched lovers a lot, he would never cheat on them so why was he about to cheat on his lover, the one he took a year and a half to court and now is his new lover? Chanyeol didn’t understand. He tries to grab Kai again but his hand is shrugged away. Kai glares at him and puts his arm around the blond, pulling her with him.

“Chanyeol, I said it’s fine. If you want us to leave then we’ll leave but I’ll be accompanying this lady tonight.” With that, Kai and the blond leave. Chanyeol was shocked, his best friend was about to cheat on the person he loved the most, even after Chanyeol, his best friend, tried to stop him.

Kai was in a taxi and the woman he was with had already given directions to where they were going. She really looked like Kyungsoo but it felt different…He pulls her close and sniffs her hair, it smelled of alcohol and smoke , it was different from Kyungsoo who smelled of chocolate and roses. Kai knew it was wrong but his brain wasn’t processing properly.

They got off and walked into a hotel, it looked a little expensive but also sleazy. The woman checked them in while he stood behind her. She gave him the key and they went up to their room. As the door closes, he thinks of what he is about to do again but nothing made sense anymore.

That night they ed. The morning after, the woman gave her number and this repeated frequently. No emotions were involved and no cuddling afterwards. It left him so empty but he continued on. Despite Chanyeol telling him not to go or to spend time with him and his new almost lover to get his mind off of the woman but then he’d sneak out and go back to that very hotel room again.

“Kyungsoo’ll be back soon. Stop meeting with that woman. I won’t tell him because it’s you who has to tell him.” Kai ignored this and went back to the hotel. He lay there on the bed, they had just finished and it was already 12. He had this foreboding feeling, he couldn’t shake it off, maybe it was this morning’s talk with Chanyeol.

There was a knock on the door, it must be room service. He pulls a towel and wraps it around his waist tightly. The feeling intensified. He walked to the door and opened it. What he saw confirmed his feeling. Kyungsoo was there in a thin shirt, like he had just gotten out of bed and his eyes looked disappointed, angry and lonely. There were flecks of snow on his hair and sneakers but he didn’t brush it away, he couldn’t. Kyungsoo had just found him in the last place he wanted to be. Kyungsoo didn’t say anything. He just stared at Kai, and he stared back. It wasn’t awkward, it was painful. The blond woman called to him but he didn’t answer. She walks up, clad only in Kai’s shirt from this morning and clings to Kai’s arm.

“Who’s this?” Her voice was sultry but to Kai it sounded dry and annoying. Kyungsoo breaks his stare from Kai and looks to the woman. His expression goes black and tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He turned around and slowly walked away. Kai stared at the quivering back of Kyungsoo, he knew that he was trying to hold back tears but he just stood there, the woman clinging to him. He looks down and stares at her face. She didn’t look like Kyungsoo at all. She was nowhere as beautiful as Kyungsoo. Her lips that looked full were thin and dry, her eyes were ugly with the dried make up and the makeup caking her face made her look terrible.

That moment, Kai shrugged her arm off and closed the door. He grabs the shirt he keeps extra and puts it on hurriedly, missing some buttons and putting some in the wrong hole. He slips on his slippers and runs, he runs out to the lobby, receiving questioning glances from other customers and a few employees. He reaches the outside and doesn’t see Kyungsoo. He glances left and right but he was too frantic he couldn’t see Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo. He looks up then forward. He sees a lone figure, thin and short but still beautiful. He runs, his legs screamed in pain but he needed to get to Kyungsoo. His steps were heavy but the crunching made Kyungsoo aware of his presence, a slight tensing being the sign. He grabs his shoulder and turns him around.

"Kyungsoo, wait...haah...wait...please..." He breathed out. He was panting, bent at the waist and trying to catch his breath.

"Kyungsoo, I'm sorry. Forgive me..."

" I...I don't think I can forgive you that easily...I...I can't trust you anymore..." He knew the trust he lost would take time to regain, But he was desperate. Kyungsoo was someone he never wanted to lose.

"Will giving you my life gain your trust in me back?" Kyungsoo’s cheeks were pink from the cold and his hands were shivering lightly. He held on tightly, trying to share his warmth. Kyungsoo look confused and sent him a questioning gaze,

"I want us to get married, that way...even if I’m tempted to cheat I’ll remember that you'll always be tied to me and that i would always be tied to you." Kyungsoo was shocked. He knew it was sudden but staring at Kyungsoo’s retreating back made him realize, he never wanted Kyungsoo away from him.

"I...You...isn't this going too fast...i mean you just cheated on me...how would i even know you wouldn't do it again when we...get…married..." His pink cheeks turned red from the last words he uttered. It was endearing and it made Kai smile.

" That's why i want us to get married, that way i will always be with you and you will always be with me." Kyungsoo didn't look any more convinced than he did a few minutes ago...So Kai did what he knew would get him married to the beautiful person in front of him. He got down on his knees in front of Kyungsoo and took out a treasure he held dearly. It was a ring that his mother had given him. He always kept it with him and knew he would only give it to the one he loved, and that person was right here in front of him. He didn’t care if it was embarrassing. This was all for the person he loved.

"Kyungsoo, WILL YOU MARRY ME?" There was a long pause, Kai wasn’t sure Kyungsoo would answer him but he heard him breath in and reply.

“Fine, I’ll marry you, just...please let's take this home, you're being embarrassing." It made him so happy; he stood up and hugged Kyungsoo tightly not letting go.

FLASHBACK END

The memory made him smile, Kyungsoo would always forgive him but this time, he knew what he did was wrong. He slept with Kyungsoo’s best friend…his best friend’s lover. He didn’t even think of Chanyeol until now. What would he do if he found out?

This is the new chapter!. Hope you like it. drop a line if you do!