Ludos | nfhafiza

Title (5/5)

This is definitely an interesting title. It's short, matches with the plot of the story, and it's an interesting title. I also saw that you changed the title from If This Was A Movie to Ludos, which I think was the best change of title. Full points!

Appearance (4/5)

I like the lovey-dovey couple stock in the poster. To be honest, I wouldn't have put all the EXO characters on the poster (their names) since the only main characters were Violet and Kai. It's kind of misleading, as I thought that this would be the kind of story where the main female character would be surrounded by all the EXO members.

Description/Foreword (8/15)

Personally, I would just keep the synopsis of the story in the description while as the rest would be in the foreword. I would flip what you have for the first section of the description with the summary in the third part of the description. The description is definitely interesting; it appealed to me when I was reading it. However, the third part wasn't really a synopsis or a description of the story. It was more of an explanation to what "Ludos" meant and where the author had discovered the word from, and forewords are meant to be some kind of author's note or extra information.

In addition, I'd take out the second section (the "Her, Him, Them" part) because the third section of the description already hints that these two people have their reasons to play their little game of love. The second section gave too much information about the characters. I'd also take out the quotes in the fourth section of the description, mainly because it doesn't really relate a lot to the description of the story. Again, extra information is fine, but too much extra can spoil a little bit more of the plot and the characters than you would want them to.

Plot (18/25)

Ludos is a love story between Violet, who seeks revenge against her best friend for "betraying" her, and Kai, who turns out to be one of the biggest players at their school. The story is pretty much like the "bad boy falling in love with the girl, but plays with her heart because of a dare." However, the girl also plays on his game, using him to make her ex-best friend jealous while he's dating her to prove that he doesn't like her. The romance development is great (even though some parts of the story was cliché, like being depressed over how their relationship was a bet or the boy being jealous of the girl being close with the sweet friend who almost never gets a good girl), but the character development wasn't impressive (which I will explain in the next section).

Not only was the romance good, but the drama entertained me most of the time. However, I felt like the romance was heavily depended on the drama, as if there were no dramatic events between Violet and Kai, their relationship wouldn't be as strong as it would be at the end. Nevertheless, the ending was sweet and I had fun seeing the plot develop with small twists here and there.

Characters (8/15)

The characters, despite how strong they were, lacked in character development.

For Violet, there wasn't a big change for her. Until the end of the story, she was still the girl who burned with anger, seeking to make her old friend upset and jealous. To me, the only things that changed with Violet was that she was more open to the idea of love (which didn't change her except for the fact that she got a loyal boyfriend) and that she would follow Kai's steps (such as going to clubs and have intense moments). Despite the fact that she discovered Kai's past and what Amy was actually doing, I failed to see any big changes except that she was willing to have more intimacy with Kai.

I was more disappointed in Kai, though. I saw how he changed from a playboy to a good boy, and I thought that he was a pretty weak character to begin with (not to