Do Me a Favor | paperdaisy

Title (3/5)

First of all, do not capitalize any articles including "a's." The title should be "Do Me a Favor." I like how the title gives a slightly commanding, directive tone and it could draw readers to read your story.

Appearance (2/5)

Judging by your tags, your story seems to be about a cute realistic story with a love triangle. Looking at the overall appearance of the front page of your story, I sense a sort of sadness and peacefulness, which I am not too sure if you are trying to aim for that kind of feel so I am slightly confused on what mood you want to set for the readers.

Description/Foreword (11/15)

The description is a nice touch since it does make readers curious. But, please do not use "This is the story of…" It is an overused line that turns readers off. On a side note, you can delete those two lines at the bottom of the description. It might be alright with others, but I find it slightly random.

Good job on linking the foreword to the description! But, the description and the foreword reveals the majority of the plot and this can drive away readers.

Plot (14/25)

Honestly, I have seen this plot in many other stories. The story is only ten chapters in and you might have some twists planned later, but basing the plot off from what I have read and from the foreword/description, the plot is not very original or creative.

Characters (15/15)

You are doing great with making the characters realistic (since the story is tagged as slice-of-life). You are emphasizing each character's personality/characteristics well. Keep up the good work!

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (15/20)

Chapter 1 (Prologue)

"Let's get through it together." The boy said, holding out his hand. "I'm Sehun."

"Let's get through it together," the boy said, holding out his hand, "I'm Sehun."

It was hard to explain, but her heart beat faster at the sound of the said one's name.

For some reason, her heart beat faster at his name.

What is "it"? And the "..said one's name" sounds awkward to read.

The latter's smiled widened once she saw that Sehun had already ordered a taro-flavored milk tea for her.

Hanah's smile widened once she saw that Sehun had already ordered a taro-flavored milk tea for her.