Broken Memory Bank | pinkblink

Title (4/5)

The title definitely relates to the story, especially to the main character, Oh Sehun. It suggests that one of the characters had their memories "broken," which contributes to most of the plot's conflict.

Appearance (5/5)

It's a simple poster with the main characters. The clock probably represents the time (or memories used by time) that was lost because of Sehun's amnesia. I don't have much to say about this part.

Description/Foreword (10/15)

I like your description, but I think you gave excess information. The first three paragraphs of your description was pleasant to read. It gave me a short synopsis of the story, while leaving me with questions of how Sehun was going to survive in his new life. Personally, I would take out the bolded sentence. The third paragraph already addressed the bolded information. Although the bolded sentence summarizes the story, it's best for the readers to discover the plot rather than the writer to tell them flat out.

As for the foreword, I would take out the character line. I see how the characters look, but as I've said before, it's better to write a description of them rather than to just give the readers a visual. The way you might be able to describe these characters may bring out more traits that the readers can discover. In addition, you've already listened the characters under the "Characters" section, so I don't see a reason to list them again in the foreword. I like how you put the little quotes, though. The dialogue related to the description, and I thought it was a pretty good hook.

Plot (18/25)

Broken Memory Bank highlights the struggle of a thirty year-old man who has retrograde amnesia. Oh Sehun, the man who has lost ten years of his memories, must face his past, trying to recollect his memories and figure out his relationship with his friends, family, and his wife.

Honestly, there isn't much going on so far. The five chapters focused on mostly Sehun's inability to remember and his troubles of accepting his wife and his position in life. From Sehun's family, we see that his sister, Krystal Jung, plans to use his helpless situation to improve her own life even though she still despises him (for whatever reason that is). 

In the prologue, it hints that Sehun and Su Ah aren't exactly in the best arranged marriage, and that the two are struggling to accept each other as husband and wife. Therefore, not only is the story's plot about a man with amnesia, but it's additionally about two couples who don't love each other as they should.

Characters (13/15)

I saw a lot more progress in the characters than the plot.

Oh Sehun reveals himself to be a man in his thirti