The Primary; The Secondary | darkclov3r

Title (3/5)

The title should've been The Primary, The Secondary or even better, The Primary and the Secondary. There should've been no semi-colons. Semi-colons are used for independent clauses, and the title isn't an independent clause.

Appearance (4/5)

The poster had the characters and the title, so it's good. I kind of wished that Baekhyun was also in the poster, as he did have a somewhat big part to the story, but having Jessica and Kai was fine. I also wished that the colors weren't so pure (white) since it was an angst story involving regrets and depression.

Description/Foreword (6/15)

I wished the description was a little bit more clear. It took me a while to understand what the description meant. Not only that, but the description isn't exactly a description of the story. It's more of a quote or a snippet of the story. If it wasn't for the two pictures of the characters (which I discourage since it lacks the writer's ability to be descriptive through writing), then I would've struggled to know who the speech was directed to. 

The foreword was also difficult to understand. Using the two italicized adjectives, I had trouble matching their meanings to what the foreword was saying. You used the two adjectives as a noun, and I tried to find a different definition in case I missed something. At first, I thought the foreword was talking about how more important part of the main character (primary) desires for "the time to freeze" while the less important part of the character (secondary)  deemed "for the time to hasten." I couldn't see the relationship between the title and the foreword or description until I got to the story itself. In addition, you used the semi-colons incorrectly again. Remember, semi-colons are used for independent clauses or for listing. The sentence before the semi-clause is not an independent clause, and thus there was no reason to use a semi-colon.

Plot (17/25)

The Primary; The Secondary is a story about the regret that Jessica, the older sister of Kai (who's supposedly dead), faces and her inability to move on. In relation to the title, she doesn't follow the days as "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc." Instead, she claims that her days are made up of "Primary" (days where she remembers Kai and mourns for him) and "Secondary" (days where she she tries to forget about Kai's existence). Ironically, she faces criticism from the people around her when she had previously called Kai unpleasant names. As seen in most stories of loss and depression, Jessica attempts to commit suicide at the end, but is saved by Baekhyun, a chief inspector who is secretly in love with the remorseful sister. Though in the end, we see that Jessica was actually saved by Kai, who is also the cause of her suicidal incident.

The plot was quite interesting and the transitions were smooth until we reached the end. The cliff-hanger seemed quite sudden, and it left a lot of questions about the previous events. First off, I thought the anonymous call Baekhyun received was more like a supernatural message from heaven. However, as we discovered that Kai was actually alive, I can't help but wonder if he was already expecting Jessica's decision for death or maybe he was stalking her. Of course, a cliffhanger can open up to many different options, but I thought it was interesting to share this idea of Kai loving Jessica and deciding to make his appearance after confirming Baekhyun's feelings for her "sunshine sister."

Characters (8/15)

Honestly, I thought Jessica and Baekhyun were the most uninteresting characters compared to Kai.

First off, Jessica turns out to be the older sister who's living in a life full of regrets and memories. Although it is reasonable for her to be sad about her brother's lost, I can't help but feel that she had too much of a cha