Main POV

What did I do last night? All this time working to stay away from Zico. And I ruin it because my stomach betrayed me. I mean, he did save my life. Or at least another trip to the hospital. And he was so nice.

No! What am I saying? I should not think about him! I facepalmed myself. "Ow!" I screeched from the contact. Talking to myself again? Pathetic. At least no one seemed to be around. The hallway was surprisingly empty. I wonder why? And i wonder who all is here? I mean Jikan ditched me today. Said something else came up. What is more important than your bestie's birthday?

Today, I turn 20. I don't feel any different. Okay, it is eerily quiet. Am I the only one here? Maybe, but its starting to creep me out. I saw the lights on in the practice room. Thank God someone else was here. I opened the door, to yelling and then everyone stared at me.

There were half hung streamers. Did I just interrupt my own surprise party. "Kiang? You ruined it!" Jikan rushed up to me covering my eyes. I chuckled, "I already saw. You can let me go now." And her hands slid off of me. Block B was here. Just them, me, and Jikan. But I didn't like huge parties anyways. Jikan knew that. Because I yelled at her the last party she gave me.

"You weren't suppose to be here yet!" She pouted at me. Now she looked pathetic. "I'm sorry. But, I can't unsee it." And she just started laughing. Jiho looked flustered to death. He was fiddling with a line of sparkly party streamers. Should I go help him? Probably not a good idea.

Jiho's POV

"I'm sorry. But, I can't unsee it." Kiang wasn't suppose to be here. She just ruined everything we've planned for. Did she think we'd froget her birthday? I know I wouldn't. She was smiling at me. Oh God! What do I do? I forced myself to smile back, and then look away. Is she trying to kill me?

"Need help?" I looked up to see Kiang standing over me. Looking at the streamers in my lap. "If you want to." I handed her some to untangle. She sat cross legged in front of me on the floor. She looked like a child. "H-happy birthday!" I muttered. "Thank you." She just went about her business. There was obvious tension and awkwardness between us.

What do I say at a moment like this? "Why are we still decorating? She's already here!" Jikan came and pulled her off the floor. the streamers fell from her arms, and she pouted down at them. "Well, I could leave. And pretend I never saw it. Then come back in, later?" She suggested to the upset Jikan. That girl just needed an extra big chill pill.

"Yes! Leave! Now, so we can get everything ready. Including the cake." Jikan started pushing her towards the door. "Okay. You don't have to push me." And with that she was gone. I stared at the abandoned spot on the floor for a moment. Is that what it felt like? To see the person you love right in front of you. Then have them ripped away again? Is this what I did to poor Kiang?

"You should go talk to her." A voice deeper than most sat next to me. "What?" I looked up at the beaming Jihoon. This boy, aish. Does he never not smile? "Go. talk. to. her. Before she leaves." And he got up and left. What was with this kid anyways? But since no one was watching, I snuck out of the room with no problem.

She was sitting on the floor, legs in front of her. Across the hallway, but seemed so close. Should I approach her? "I'm not gonna bite. Come," she patted the ground next to her. And my body obeyed, before I could even think about it. "So, who's idea was it to make a bog deal about my birthday?" She asked when I sat a safe distance from her.

"Jikan." I didn't want to tell her the truth. That I had forced Jikan into an agreement with me. To throw this party. Jikan wasn't going to, but I wanted to. For her special day. "I'm gonna get her one day." She waved her fist threateningly at the practice room. And started laughing. "Can we talk about what happened between us?" What did she just say? Did i hear her right.

I couldn't respond. So I just nodded an answer. We did need to talk about it. But why now? I hadn't prepared myself for this kind of serious business. "Do you really think I was bringing you down?" She was fiddling with her hands in her lap. Not looking at me, but that's nothing new. "No. That was a lie." I confessed. 

"Did you really not see me in your future?" She looked so down. I moved a little closer. But not too close. I wasn't that daring, yet. "No. That was a lie too." Lies were just the fundamental of our relationship. Or again, lack of a relationship. "When did you stop loving me?" She was definitely crying. I saw it, and she wasn't the quietness sobber.

We sat there for a moment. Neither knowing what to do or say at this time. It wasn't awkward for me anymore. But, would it be for her. "Can I be honest with you?" I asked. It was a stupid question, I know. "You should of been all along." She sniffled and wiped her face. "Your right," I had to force myself to even talk to her. It was making me anxious and nervous.

"Go ahead." And with her saying that I poured everything out to her. "I lied. I never stopped loving you. And my debut and carreer, weren't as important as you were. But, I was stupid. Like beyond dumb. And I understand that things will never be better. And that's fine. But, I now know how badly I must have hurt you. Because it hurt me too. And come to think of it, there was never a time I didn't love you. Even now, I do. Even though, the feelings have probably changed for you. And I get it, I do. And it hurts me, that you would go out with my friends. And that they would even think about going out with you," I took a breaher to take in her face.

She was staring at me. through her tears, I swear she was smiling. Maybe it was just my imigination. I continued, "I never expected any of this to happen. I couldn't tell you, why it did. I don't know what I was thinking in leaving like that. You meant everything to me. And you still do. But, what am I to you? Huh? The heartbreaker looking for forgiveness? The jerk? An ? I am all those things. And I accept it now. Just please, I need some form of forgiveness. So, I can stop killing myself over what I have done." I began to cry too.

She was silent. So, I stared elsewhere. At the floor, and her feet. And out of the corner of my eye, I saw her movement. She had moved closer to me. In fact, practically on top of me. She rested her ehad on my arm. What do I do? I can't breath, like this? I could still hear her crying. I didn't care if she didn't want it. I pulled her onto my lap and hugged her.

She put her arms around my waist. And buried her face in my chest. "J-Jiho. I don't know," but she didn't finish. "Shhh!" I tightened the grip on her. "I know I shouldn't. But, I forgive you." She whispered. And my heart nearly froze over. Did I hear her right again? " Y-you do? That's great!" I excitedly whispered. But it didn't seem to be helping her crying.

I rocked with her comfortingly. I had just closed my eyes, when the door opened. "Oh! Am I interrupting something?" It was Jikan. She was such a nuisance. "No." Kiang pulled away from me. Jikan softened I guess, when she noticed she was crying. She got up, and I followed. "What was that about?" I heard Jikan whisper rather loudly to her.

"Nothing." And with that we joined everyone else.

Her party went great. except the air between us was still weird. How do I fix it all? Can I?

~~

"Thank you guys.See ya later." Kiang bowed as everyone was leaving. I stayed behind to help clean. Even though it was more or less, just to talk some more. "So~?" She tried to start a conversation. "So~" neither of us knew what to do first. She busied herself with cleaning up the table. Putting the leftover cake in the box. And covering it. 

"Did you have a good birthday?" I asked. Hoping to break the eerie silence in the room."I did. Thanks again for the party. Jikan told me it was your idea." She smiled at me, but it still wasn't whole-hearted. "I'm gonna kill her one of these days." I mumbled. She just laughed it off. Even her laugh, sounded strained.

"Why don't you smile more like you use to?" I sat on the table in front of her. She didn't look up when she answered. "I lost it the day you left." And I thought she might start crying again. I'm here for her if she does. "Oh? I'm really sorry about that," I knew no amount of apologizes would ever make it okay for her.

"I know." And I heard her sniffling. And then sobbing again. Damn it! I pulled her to me, and we repeated the scene in the hallway. I protectively wrapped my legs around her. And she held me extremely tight against her. "I d-don't understand! W-what *sniffle* am I-I suppose to do now?" She asked into my chest. "I don't know either."

Maybe, it was a good idea to stay with her this time. I mean, I'm sure she cried by herself. And no one need that. Even if they have a perfectly good reason to be upset. "Jiho? Can I tell you something?" Why would she even have to ask. I patted her back in approval.

"You have no idea, how angry I was at you. I hated you. And a part of me is telling me I still do. But, I know that's not true. And to be honest, I never stopped loving you. Even though you made me miserable. Even though you ignored me, and went on without me like nothing happened. I still love you." Her words were breaking my heart again.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't stop apologizing. " Stop apologizing. It's annoying," she giggled. So good to hear that sound again. I just sat on the table holding her. And she didn't seem to mind. "Where do we go from here?" I asked. I didn't really want an answer. Because her answer would probably just make me feel worse.

She appeared to be thinking for a moment. "If, and its a huge if," she looked up at me. "If I can give you another chance, promise.... no swear to me on your life that this will NEVER happen again." Did I hear her right? Was she gonna give me another shot for real?