I inhaled deeply and looked around. The classroom was empty. I had at least an hour before lunch break was over. Last week, I had decided that this NYF thing needed to stop. If he was teaching me something- it was to take weapons against all that could hurt me. Xiumin had warned me and I didn't want to end up like him. The pile of misery that had been posing as my being- I didn't want any of it.

The moment I got myself together, was also the moment I started thinking more clearly. The only voice inside my head was my own. I opened my notebook and looked at what I had written. NYF was a strategist. So I wrote down his strategy to see through his facade. This would take time and of course, sacrifice - but all would end well. Or, that's what I hoped for. I had no idea what to expect.

My mom was cooking at the moment. One of the few times she actually had the chance. I looked at her elegant posture and sat down at the kitchen table. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you lately? Strange things happened. You know you can tell me everything, right?"

I nodded and closed my eyes. "I wanted to ask you something. It's really important." Deep inside, all the anger had been boiling up. I never quite understood what was going on. But I wanted to know. It was eating me alive. This strange fantasy that NYF could be no one other than my father. It was genius. And maybe rather pitiful of me to hope for it. Because in a way- I understood. He was the only person that could have something against me- profoundly speaking of course. My mother never spoke about it, yet she had made it very clear that he was a rather dangerous person. "Can you tell me more about my father?"

Mother turned around and gave me one of her tired looks. She was in no place to bring up this topic- yet I had done it with the slightest ease. "Please, Luhan. Not now."

"I just want to know a bit more. I feel... like I'm missing something. I need to know. Why did he leave?"

She sighed and sat down next to me. "Your memories are mixed up." she carefully said. "Your father was a bad person. A dangerous person. Isn't that all you have to know? Sometimes the truth can be dangerous. Sometimes silence is the best for the both of us."

Tears filled up my eyes. I was tired of this. "What did he do?"

"He didn't leave us," Mom softly wept and closed her eyes. The memories were racing through her neurons- driving her body into a state of shivering. "He threatened to kill me. He drank a lot. I took you and ran off. Your father..." She started crying and never stopped. "I did love him once. I see his positive sides in you. That's all I live for."

Feeling numb, I placed my hand against her cheek and tried to dry her tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you."

Mother looked at me and gave me a smile- one I hadn't seen in ages. "It's okay. I'll cook now. You look so skinny. I'll make something greasy."

With that said, I hid away inside my room and tried to process what she just had told me. NYF could be my father. He could be. He was trying to ruin me because my mother and I had left. One possibility that I wrote down in my notebook.

The next day I was still ignoring everyone and everything around me. I had no interest in talking to Kai, Sehun or Yixing. I needed to be left alone and think. There hadn't been any notes for me this week either. Last time