i hate you

Fragments of Memories
Title: i hate you
Characters: IU, Jonghyun
Genre: short drabble, sad, angst, improper
Inspired by: all sorts of crap plus a bit of voicemail (song by IU)

 
hi jieun,
 
i hate you. i hate you so much right now. i hate you because you make me feel stupid. i hate you because you’re the one apologizing, when you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. i hate you because you make it so difficult for me to sound cold, to sound indifferent, to sound like i don’t care, to sound like things don’t matter, to sound like nothing ever happened. i hate you because you lied to me, lied to me that everything else is still there when clearly there is nothing, nothing but an empty void left.
 
speaking of hate, i hate myself too. i hate myself because in the end, i’m the only one to blame. i hate myself because i made you cry. i hate myself because i hurt you. i hate myself because i miss you. i hate myself because i know the real answer to your question. i hate myself because i’m too much of a coward to tell you it, to admit it. and most of all, i hate you because i still ing love you.
 
but it’s ok. i shouldn’t, you shouldn’t, we shouldn’t. that’s the philosophy and the reality and the truth. after this, i’m going to forget everything, pretend like there was nothing in the first place so that i don’t feel so...so empty. i don’t want to ruin things anymore. i can see that you have something going on, and it’s not my intention to break it.
 
i guess i’m being selfish to tell you this...but haha, be a bit understanding for me, yeah? i won’t do this ever again, after all. i’m sorry we never went on a proper date. i’m sorry i’m such an idiot, a jerk, and everything bad. i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, and i’m sorry. i’m sorry because i know that i won’t be sending this message anyw
 

the not-updating-author's long time poop
 
hello there fellow iu minions, it is i, the buttface that never updates! (applause) i've made fervent blog posts before, but yes... iu's album, modern times. ah. doesn't the name itself call out "beauty" or "perfection"? no? well, it does. if it doesn't... go stab your ear or something, there must be something wrong with your body---no just kidding but you get what i mean. the songs are just beautiful and gahhh why is iu so beautiful and perfect i cant
a bit about my stuff is that i'm soooo swamped with work, like i cant breathe. yes i do spend my time doing all sorts of "unproductive" stuff but in the end i dont have time for writing (and to be honest i still dont have inspiration or motives so hahaha).
idk, this drabble... when i read over it it's a bunch of crap and nonsense. but you can interpret it up to yourself, i guess. idk random thing in the middle of the night :c
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Alluring
i'm sorry for the constant title changes.... i can't make up my mind ;A;

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
green_teax #1
update pls author nim
10apples
#2
Chapter 14: As I read along, I can't help but to sympathize how Chanyeol felt. It's so real and I know it to be the one compromising and giving in every single time. It's that feeling that you'd hate absolutely. Having to throw away your pride just for that sick love you can't afford losing away.
green_teax #3
Chapter 14: that was indeed beautiful. i like how their relationship is portrayed realistically, like every sentence speaks out chanyeol's desperate and insecure affection towards jieun. because reality isn't some kiss-n-grow fluff and one usually feels like trash around the other but they still cling onto the relationship. oh, the beauty of a loser's heart.
stranded
#4
Chapter 14: As always, thank you! I enjoy reading your writing very much so I'll be looking forward to your next update!
theadorable #5
Chapter 14: I keep liking every oneshot you wrote. I mean, everything is perfect. Every story you wrote is somehow perfect and beautiful. I somehow disliked song-based story, I don't think this one is another type of it. I found this piece to be simple and very honest, sad. This flow very smoothly. I could actually relate without having to experience it. You know sometimes I wonder if you could teach me how to write :D. Your work is really something
hyukkawai #6
Chapter 13: I love all of the oneshots so far, even though many of them were angst hiks. I hope this one gonna have a happy ending keke. Fighting author-nim :D
evanzelina #7
Chapter 13: I totally loved this 1st part. Can't wait for next part.And IU's flower bookmark is daebak. Her voice I just can't get enough
theadorable #8
Chapter 13: I think this chapter could be my favorite! I really like the flow of this story, not too fast or too slow, and it just flow smoothly. And of course, it's myungu! I'm craving for myungu recently. "He found more sound in silence than in loud environment." I really like that line. I can relate <3
green_teax #9
Chapter 13: /breathes
DRAWING? MASTERPIECE? INSTRUCTOR? FOUNTAIN IN THE PARK? OMFG DID YOU TRAVEL MY MIND OR SMT. THEY ARE LIKE MY MOST FAVORITE THINGS EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I love them already, hahaHAAAAAAA. JOKES. Their meeting was very interesting because Jieun is... interesting and I'm not going to say she's Lilyflower but we'll see. I really like Myungsoo's personality, haha, cocky artists <33
SO I GUESS YOU WIN MY HEART WITH THE THEME AND THE PAIRING AND THEIR CHEMISTRY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. ;;
on the side note, I thought you hated art. /coughcough
I thought you're going to create a new story but it seems like you decided to update the drabble collection... okayy.

p.s. do you want a poster for this story? *u*
Haeysoo #10
Can you make another baekU story