Love as a B (Yes, I'm Admitting It)
Fragments of MemoriesTitle: Love As a B
Characters: Chanyeol, IU
Come to think of it, that’s the way it has been. Always like that. Not more, not less. Never any different.
The cycle never failed to repeat itself. We’d fight. You’d storm out of the house. I’d smoke a cigarette or two out on the balcony, staring out at the city skyline. Then I’d decide to go to bed, only to stare at my phone screen for hours waiting for a single text or call. But in the end, I’d fall asleep waiting, and nothing would come from you. The next day, I’d find you at Baekhyun’s house (which would bother me every single time; I know he’s your best friend, but come on, you guys are of different genders, and there’s no telling what can happen between a guy in his twenties and a pretty girl under the same roof). I’d always be the one to apologize—to be honest, there are many times when I think I was right, but I’d never tell you that or show it, because I can’t live a single day without you and I’d rather let you win than not see you at all. You’d grudgingly accept my apologies, and after a hug and kiss or two, hold onto my sleeve as I walk us home. And it wouldn’t take long for us to return back to square one.
Well, then again, they say that in a relationship, the person that loves more is the losing side. You and I both know that I’m the complete, utter loser here. I bet you don’t love me half as much as I love you. I hate being at a disadvantage, really, and I hate it when things don’t go the way I want to. That’s how I, Park Chanyeol, have lived my life. But I can’t help it when I’m with you—I can’t help but give you everything I’ve got to gain nothing, absolutely nothing in return.
You’re used to it, aren’t you. You’re used to my feeding your ego, your pride. You’re used to feeling like you’re loved—not that you aren’t. Most importantly, you’re used to having me by your side, readily available (and disposable) at your service.
Goddamn. Goddamn it all. You know what? You’re such a selfish . You’re a ing wretch. But you know what else? I love you for the you are, no matter how wretched you can be. And that’s what makes me pathetic, because you’re like the quicksand that gets me sinking deeper and deeper into you despite my resistance (I don’t even know if I want to get out, though).
You have me in your hands. I’m all yours to mess with, to play around with.
Just... Just please. Don’t throw me away.
Yes, yes, I do feel like it’s unfair sometimes. It’s ridiculous how I pay attention to your every little word, every little movement and how those little things affect me and make me anxious. But I’m so into you that it doesn’t even matter. I don’t even have the time to think about how I feel because I’m so preoccupied in staring at you.
You’re so ing beautiful. So damn gorgeous. Cheesy as it might sound, you seem to be a heavenly being, minus the wings.
There are so many reasons as to why you’re so perfect. I guess that means I should be grateful that you chose to be next to me, even if it’s just temporary (please don’t let that be true).
I love you. I love you. I love you. And I’ll tell you this every single day, so that you won’t forget it.
Hopefully, even when you’ve left me, you’d remember me, at least faintly, when you hear it from someone else.
despite the obvious title that sounds very much like track one of iu's modern times, i wasn't really inspired by it. idk man it sounded like an appropriate title. and yes i'll update masterpiece soon but it's gonna be rewritten bc it sounds like total crap right now lol and there needs to be plot changes. sorry about the discrepancies q___q
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