---

 

 

I yawned. At this point, I really want to fall asleep. Suho and I were occupying a bench table, shaded by a tree from the warm sunlight shining above us. It was a nice afternoon, and we have no classes so we decided to spend the rest of school hours doing homework in the mini-forest of our campus.

 

I rested my head on the table and groaned. “Are you hungry?” Suho asked me.

 

I shook my head. “I’m sleepy.”

 

“Are done with the homework?”

 

“No, but I’ll finish them when I get home. I’m exhausted.” I mumbled lazily.

 

He let out a loud sigh. I turned my head at his side, seeing him getting my notes. “I’ll do it for you instead so that you can just sleep when you get home.”

 

“Oh, thank you.” I said, my words slightly muffled because my left cheek was leaning on the surface. I stared at him as he focused on the doing the homework. I just realized how actually handsome he was in this angle, how charismatic he looked the way he frowns as he focuses unto his work.

 

Then I remembered that time when we were hugging. I goggled my eyes at such thought, and gathered my arms to hide my face. I could feel my cheeks flushing every time I remember that, how comfortable it was in his arms. A muffled groan came out of me.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Suho asked me.

 

Without looking up, I nodded. “I’m okay.”

 

After a minute, I straightened up and stretched my neck, feeling my back slightly aching. Suho was still doing the homework. I sighed out and lazily rested my head on my arm.

 

Then I noticed something on the table. Curious, I picked it up with my finger to see the item. “What’s this?”

 

“It’s a gift that I and my girlfriend got for our 4th year anniversary.” Suho said, eyes still focused on his work.

 

“How many years you two have been a couple?”

 

“Four years. If we haven’t parted, it’s supposed to be six years now.”

 

“Whoah, it was a long time.”

 

Suho nodded. “She’s my first love. That’s why I can’t forget about her easily.”

 

I awed. I looked at the item. It was a silver ring, attached to a silver necklace chain. Suho must’ve been wearing this as a necklace. I eyed the ring closer and recognized something familiar—on the top of that ring, lays a butterfly pattern surrounded by little diamond gems. I flipped the ring and found a name carved behind it.

 

“Junmyeon?” I said out loud. Suho momentarily stopped his work and looked at me. “Is this your real name?”

 

He nodded. “Eh? You didn’t know?”

 

I shook my head. “I thought Suho’s your real name?”

He chuckled. “Suho is my English name. When I left Korea to study abroad, I was accustomed to the name Suho since that’s what everyone calls me there.”

 

“Oh well, Suho’s a good name.” I shrugged. “So, your girlfriend has the same ring too, I supposed?”

 

“Yeah. I don’t know if she still keeps it, though.”

 

I straightened up, looking at Suho with a purpose in mind. “Suho-ssi,” I called out.

 

He looked at me, “Yes, Daeun?”

 

I swallowed hard and hesitantly asked. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you this, but, uhm…” I breathed in. “Why do you keep pushing yourself to someone who doesn’t even see you anymore? I mean, yeah. I know, I don’t know the whole story so I don’t have the right to tell you things like this. But you know what,” I sighed out. “It’s really hurting me to see you feeling so down and hopeless. A guy like you deserves to be happy.”

 

I looked down, feeling a little awkward about telling these things to Suho. I don’t want him to think of me as a selfish person, and I’m just doing this because I care for him.

 

Instead of expecting him to give me a big reaction, Suho just smiled. He lifted his hand and ruffled my hair. “I get what you were trying to say, Daeun. But,” he sighed. He paused for a moment and bit his lip. I can see he was holding back his tears. “You may not understand what I’m going through right now, but someday…” he smiled. “Someday, you’re going to understand.”

 

“I… I really don’t get it.” I said, feeling like crying too. Right now, I feel like a useless friend. “You’re hurting, Suho. And seeing you hurting because of that girl, I’m… I’m hurting too.”

 

Suho gave me a hug, a very comforting hug. “Don’t cry, please.”

 

“What can I do to help you?” I cried, feeling the warm tear streaming down my cheek.

 

“Just stay with me, Daeun. With you being on my side is enough.” He said and hugged me tighter.

 

-

 

Later that afternoon, we headed out to school to go home. Right now, I don’t know what to do. With my confession earlier, I can feel a little awkward atmosphere between us.

 

When we reached the rear gate, I turned around to face Suho. I bit my lip.

 

“Do you want me to drive you home? I brought my car today.” He offered.

 

I shook my head. “It’s okay. I think I’m going to the shop, I want to go home with my mother.”

 

“Oh, I see then.” Suho sighed.

 

“Thanks for doing my homework.”

 

“Y-you’re welcome. Please take a rest when you get home. You look tired today.”

 

“Okay, Suho-ssi.” I said. “Good bye.”

 

I turned around and started walking the pedestrian to cross the street. After a few steps, I heard Suho calling my name. “Daeun-ah!”

 

“Oh?” I glanced back at him. He was about to say something when I heard a loud noise coming closer, a sound of the screeching vehicle.

 

I turned at the road and saw a van fast approaching, aiming to where I stood. “Daeun!”

 

I was too dazed to react and my body was stiffening, it feels like my feet were rooted on the ground. In a millisecond, I was dragged at the sidewalk, hearing the sound of car getting away.

 

I was rushing my breath, hearing my heartbeat’s sound echoing my body. I realized that Suho was hugging me, and he just saved me from that almost accident.

 

Then I felt the world just stopped, and the surroundings felt so hollow.

 

“S-su…” I whispered, unable to utter a word for the moment. I was in the state-of-shock.

 

Just like me, he was breathing heavily. “I…” he sighed.

 

“Suho,” I called his name, my eyes getting teary.

 

“I saved you. I just saved you, Daeun-ah.” He hugged me tighter, and I felt him crying.

 

“Hey, I’m okay.” I whispered, trying to wriggle out of his arms. Instead of loosening his grip, he continued hugging me. “Suho-ssi?”

 

“I… I thought I’m going to lose you again.”

 

His words struck me. Then sudden images flashed my mind like a vortex. A loud impact, a rainy afternoon, the horrible view of the bus’s crashing at the barricade, the cold asphalt road where blood is mixing with the rain, a boy screaming my name.

 

“You’re safe now, Areum.” Suho cried. I drifted back to reality.

 

I gently pushed his hands down and took a step back. I lifted my head and looked at him on horrify. “Wh-what’s going on? Why is this happening to me!!!” I cried, the tears starts to stream down my cheeks uncontrollably. I think I’m going to have a mental breakdown. It’s very confusing, and I have no idea why am I experiencing this feeling. It feels like I’m having a trauma. I looked down and mumbled, “Suho, who are you?”

 

“You…” he exhaled. “You’re my Areum.”

 

I was completely taken aback. “Don’t play jokes on me, Suho-ssi.” I warned him, clenching my fists.

 

He lifted my face and looked directly in my eyes. He shook his head, “I’m not.”

 

My blood starts to boil. This is not real. I don’t want to believe in these foolish things!

 

I slapped his hand touching my face and glared at him. “You’re pathetic.”

 

Without hearing his response, I turned around and left him there standing alone. Once I left, the tears just continued falling down my eyes, my heart shattering into million pieces.