Sungjong chewed nervously on his thumbnail as he inspected the reflection of his body in the tall mirror. His eyes trailed along the contours of his shirtless torso, as he in a huge breath, trying to make size of his abdomen decrease, but he knew he couldn’t hold his breath forever. He brought his hands down and them over his arms, they’re too thick, he thought to himself, before he continued the journey down to his too wide stomach, past his shapeless hips, to his chunky thighs, picking at each body part in his mind as his hands scraped over it. He hated it.

He was overweight, he thought. Repulsive, he decided, and most importantly, he despised everything about himself. He was gross.

“Sungjong, come on we’re going to be late.” His twin brother yelled from downstairs impatiently.

He snapped back to the reality of his bedroom, and turned around to check his digital clock which now read ‘8:03’ he didn’t realise he’d kept his brother waiting that long.

Quickly, Sungjong scrambled to throw his school uniform on, not bothering to check if he looked presentable in the mirror, he’d wasted enough time already. Before calmly making his way downstairs and to the hall were Taemin was waiting for him with his arms crossed.

“What were you doing up there?” Taemin huffed, picking up the both of their bags and passing one to Sungjong. “I was going to check on you, but I didn’t want to walk in on something private.”

“Just got distracted is all.” Sungjong excused himself bashfully. He was thankful Taemin hadn’t gone to check on him, otherwise he’d probably be teased and pestered by Taemin now and end up feeling even worse about himself. “What do you mean private?” he tried to joke as they both walked the familiar way to their high school.

“If you were changing or something...” he tried to elaborate, but Sungjong got the idea.

“I’m sure you’ve seen me shirtless before though.” Sungjong tried to reason, but even talking about himself shirtless made him feel almost sick to his stomach.

“Not lately, you cover yourself up more now, all you wear is sweaters and skinnies.” Taemin admitted, looking to his brother and lifting his eyebrow questioningly as though he wanted him to elaborate as to why that was all he wore.

“They’re comfy.” He replied bluntly, it wasn’t a complete lie but the real truth was because he could easily hide himself under the thick cotton of sweaters.

“We should buy more clothes together sometime, none of yours seem to fit you anymore.” Taemin suggested, and Sungjong visibly paled, so even Taemin was noticing he was getting fatter, he started to tug at the hem of his school jumper feeling insecure all over again. “They’re getting too big for you, you’ve lost weight recently.” he continued.

Sungjong only replied with a brief hum, he hadn’t really paid attention to Taemin’s last words, he was wrong. The rest of the stroll was in silence as Taemin didn’t pester Sungjong further, but he knew something was up.

Finally they made it to the entrance of the school, waving each other off as went their separate ways to find their friends. Sungjong easily spotted his friend Sungyeol’s overly tall figure sitting at a table and Dongwoo’s ferocious laughter from afar and quickly made his way over to join them.

“Ah! Cutie Sungjong is here!” Woohyun exclaimed and everyone turned to greet him. Sungjong gave a short wave and pulled out the spare seat next to Sungyeol, who gave him a bright grin, which he tried to return, but it felt forced. “Sungyeol was just telling us about his cracked up adventure on his way to school.” Woohyun explained as Sungjong took his seat.

“No seriously guys, a girl ran up to me thinking I was her boyfriend! And she tried to kiss me!” Sungyeol exclaimed.

“Are you sure you didn’t fall and hit your head...” Hoya asked with an exasperated sigh. “Actually I think I can see a bruise forming on your head now.”

“What, where?” Sungyeol chanted and started messing around with this forehead, trying to find the painful spot.

“I was joking Sungyeol, you look fine... or as fine as you can look.” He replied with sarcasm

“Hey, and by that I hope you mean, mighty fine.” Sungyeol pouted, and Dongwoo cracked up again, but then stopped as he noticed Sungjong staring into space.

“What’s up Jong, you seem a little down?” Dongwoo then asked, and Sungjong snapped out of his daze.

“Uh- oh, I’m fine,” He laughed it off. “Just a little tired is all.” They gave him a suspicious look before they continued on with their chats.

Sungjong wished he wasn’t so see through, he didn’t deserve to have people worry about him, he wanted nothing more than to deal with his troubles alone, he wasn’t worthy of such caring friends. His friends continued to talk and joke, along with prodding lots of fun at Sungyeol, but Sungjong just zoned out again, thinking back to earlier this morning when he was standing in front of the mirror. He could feel overdue tears starting to well in his eyes; he just wished to be out of here right now.

Suddenly there was a palm on Sungjong’s shoulder and he tensed, grabbing a hold of his chest, he turned to look at the culprit.

“Sure you’re alright Sungjong?” It was Sungyeol, his features were filled with concern, as he stared straight into Sungjong’s tear filled eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright.” He lied, pushing Sunyeol away from him, so he could wipe at his eyes. “I just want to get to class.” But really he just wanted school to be over; he wanted everything to be over.

Sungyeol suddenly stood up, catching everyone’s attention. “What’s wrong now? You’re not going start randomly dancing and shouting again like you did last week are you?” Hoya asked with dread.

“Sadly, no, I’m going to walk Sungjong to class, I’ll see you idiots later.” Sungyeol announced,

“Said the biggest idiot of us all.” Hoya quipped back, making Woohyun snort.

Sungjong begrudgingly got up too, giving a short wave before following Sungyeol as he started to walk away from the group, ignoring Hoya’s last words.

As Sungjong and Sungyeol walked side by side, not one of them had spoken since leaving, Sungjong took note that the only noise that could be heard was their shoes clipping against the floor with each step in the lonely corridor, and it felt awkward. Sungjong let out a long sigh. He glanced to the tall male beside him shyly.

Sungjong’s had a crush on Sungyeol for as long as he could remember, the first time he had seen the boy, his weird dorky charm had just captured him and made his heart skip a beat, as cliché as it sounded. At first he had thought it would be okay, that maybe something good would come out of it, but Sungjong eventually lost confidence in himself, he hated himself so much that all he could think was how could anyone fall for him, he was ugly, and self centred. Sungjong knew he’d never like him back. He’s not worth it.

“If there’s something wrong you can tell me, right.” Sungyeol broke the silence between the two of them as they reached the classroom.

Sungjong just hummed in response, stepping into the cold room.

I’m just not worth it.

A/N: hey sweeties! well here's the first chapter up!

I just thought I'd mention that Sungjong is not actually overweight in this fic, it's just this is how he see's himself? and yeah I thought I'd give him a brother, and seeing as though people say Taemin and Sungjong look alike that's who I decided with uwu

I hope my writing isn't too bad and you actually enjoyed it ;; 

please look forward to more c: comments are much appreciated, thank you!

-Sydney