One busy afternoon on the streets of Seoul, five men pathetically disguised as bums walked nervously side by side, all the while trying to find their way through a monstrous crowd of people. However, these weren't just any five men. It was us. How we got here is a long story that I can only tell if you solemnly swear to secrecy. We are, after all, in disguise. And so, without introducing myself, I shall recall the story of our escape, stealth and survival. Everything began this morning:

It was a big day today. We had all arrived at the company around 9:00 this morning to discuss the scheduled announcement of our next album. Working on a new album meant countless sleepless nights, the occasional three minute shower every day or so and stuffing food down in the middle of schedules during our drives out and in the studio. It was hard enough to find time to make this announcement, let alone actually begin to work on our next album. Our schedules are just too busy. The original plan was to have a chat with the president, discuss what we were going to say at the announcement and then go to the press conference together in our van.

I heavily stomped in to the dressing room, tired, with my bird's nest like hairstyle looking like it had been attacked by some sort of savage creature. My previously-dyed platinum blonde hair had recently been re-dyed golden, but this dye was fading so it just looked plain disgusting and - Oh, I suppose you've probably figured out who I am now, well if not, you will eventually. Let's skip to the part here where our already ty morning turns into a complete disaster.

We were all huddled in the company's elevator together. Caked with make-up (and re-dyed hair!), we dragged ourselves together through the reception, dressed in what can somehow pass as fashionably-formal these days. From far away, we could have looked like real idols, carrying their swag in their steps and their pride in their fashion; however, from up close, we resembled zombies who were mindlessly following their leader to some sort of ritualistic gathering. I felt as if time had gone by too slowly, especially when Seunghyun-hyung's cologne started attacking my morning sleepiness. I was too 'dead' to even notice all the reporters and fans gathering around us. Unfortunately, I woke up from my trance to something I had never expected or hoped to happen. Today, of all days...

Just before I go on to explain what happened next in our YG's very own parking lot. I need to go over a few things. Our company was supposed to have a 'tight' security, but somehow, today, they let through about an ARMY of anti-fans and not just empty-handed anti-fans either...

Try to imagine this next bit as a series of snapshots because that is how I remember it.
  -We all faked our smiles at the cameras taking pictures walking to the van, pretending to be happy and keeping our image, behaving.
  -Many people and reporters had appeared. I was smiling really hard, when suddenly-
  -Someone threw an egg at my face. I was still smiling underneath the raw egg that had spread over my face, but everyone else looked at me, shocked.
  -My smile had twitched in to a disgusted frown and my inner mad-man came out.
  -More eggs were thrown at all of us now and it was embarrassing. The security got tight around us. We had turned into some sort of back-to-back round formation, with me in the middle. The bodyguards were doing quite well, but couldn't hold out too long. So we decided to lower our heads and to try to hide ourselves.
  -As the reporters now took pictures like rabid animals on crack, our anger had begun to show on our faces as we tried to cover the cameras in our range.
  -It was all too hectic to even think properly, but my safe position gave me a chance to pray to God, Buddha, Shisus and every possible god out there to make something happen and end this!
  -And that is when I came up with a brilliant plan.
"Hey guys, I've got a plan.” I called out, whilst trying to duck everyone down so that no one could hear us, “On three, let’s all get down and crawl our way out of here,"
"What?! Crawl out from underneath everybody?" Seungri tried to whisper. We were all huddled up closely in a circle now, with everybody looking into the circle face to face.
"Take a look at how crazy everyone is acting, we'd probably slip by unnoticed," Youngbae-hyung argued, each of pair of eyes quickly changed direction to attentively look at the person talking.
"Just try not to stay too close to each other and take different paths," I added whilst trying to gesture what I meant.
"Ok, let's go in this direction, it seems as if it’s the shortest route, and it leads to an exit anyway," Jiyong-hyung pointed. Everyone nodded in reply.
I began to count, "1..."
Everything became silent for me as all I could think about was how I was going to pass through.
"2..."
Jiyong-hyung bit his lip, Seunghyun-hyung looked at him concerned, Seungri looked down expressionless and Youngbae-hyung gave me a final look.
"3!"

Everyone immediately ducked down, causing a huge group head-. We pulled away from each other, holding our heads in pain. Again, we tried to get on to our hands and knees but to no avail, as we kept bashing against each other. There wasn't enough space. 'SHIIIIT!!!' I screamed in my head.

"Guys, we can't all go together at once. Let's go one by one," our leader, and saviour, Jiyong-hyung cleverly suggested. We then left one by one from youngest to oldest as Seunghyun Hyung advised.

As Seungri slipped through the bodyguards' legs, they caught on to our plan and tried to distract the reporters and anti-fans. When Seungri successfully disappeared, I nodded at everybody and got down on my hands and knees. From this angle, I could catch parts of Seungri, he was trying to look back to check on me as we both got kicked and stomped on.

I tried to keep with Seungri's speed, but as lesser legs appeared and I began to see the exit, Seungri disappeared again. I got up and saw a flash of him with his scarf around his head sprinting out of the gate behind the security guards guarding it. I followed and tried to cover myself as well. I quickly looked back, no one was behind me. I gulped and ran like a madman after Seungri to the nearest block of buildings.

Seungri headed for the alleyway on the other side of the first building, but I stopped and looked back. No one had followed me; in fact, the entire street seemed almost empty. I ran up to Seungri in the alley, who took his scarf off and looked at me relieved. I exploded, "There's no one behind me!"

"J-Jiyong-hyung was supposed to follow you, right?!" he exclaimed, worried, with his eyes popping out. I nodded and we both thrashed out on to the street to look for any sign of him at the entrance gate. Instead, Youngbae-hyung was there, he spotted us and practically flew up to us.

"WHERE'S JIYONG??!!!" Seungri and I asked Youngbae-hyung in unison.
"I… lost him in the crowd," Taeyang explained whilst panting heavily. We all waited in the alley, jittering from nervousness. At this point, all sorts of thoughts had gone through my head. Seunghyun-hyung and Jiyong-hyung were the only two left to arrive, and time was ticking. All three of us waited, anticipating the moment we were to see something come out of the gate. It was taking too long.

At last, Seunghyun-hyung came out holding on to Jiyong-hyung's hand. We called out to them and they quickly ran to us. We all sighed in relief and fell to the floor. No one had bothered to question what had happened to the other two. There was nowhere to go, as more reporters and fans had gathered around the company. It was the last place we wanted to go to again. Instead, Youngbae-hyung suggested we should clean up and rest at his friend's apartment who lived in a block 'nearby'. It was actually a very, very, very long walk to this guy's house, but we had nowhere else to go. We sneakily tried to slip through the streets as it became more and more crowded again.

By then we had borrowed clothes from Youngbae-hyung's friend's tiny, little apartment. He wasn't even at home, but he left the door to his messy, ground-level apartment open and we barged in anyway. For some reason, he had a closet full of clothes that looked like something bums would wear. The clothes smelt like bums too. After we left his apartment and set foot out on to the streets again, we somehow got lost. This is where we return to the start of the story. As the five of us nervously walked side-by-side pathetically disguised as bums, whilst trying to find our way through this monstrous crowd of people, a feeling of togetherness and slight confidence surrounded us. Looked at by wandering eyes, we were definitely not the perfect group of idols, no swag in our steps or pride in our fashion. To us, however, we had proved our love for each other through our teamwork and accomplished something no other group of idols could have ever done.

After all, we are Big Bang.

POV: Daesung