Sena

I pushed the blanket away and rubbed my eyes. Quickly getting up, I realized I was not in my own home. Then I remembered having a drink with Jongin last night. I must have passed out sometime that night.

The sun had not risen yet.  I slowly walked across the darkness trying avoid making any sound and made my way into my own apartment.

I sighed and mentally kicked myself as I remembered the things I blurted out last night. But then I also remembered the things he said.

Empathy.

“i lost every reason to feel that emotion a long time ago.” I could hear his voice echo in my head.

Curiosity.

I knew I slipped and said things about me but at the same time I became curious about my neighbor.

I yawned and looked outside then glanced at the clock. Instead of going back to sleep I knew I should get ready for work.

I hoped in the shower and after getting dressed I grabbed a toast and a cup of coffee but suddenly remembered something. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a green bottle but stopped and took two instead.

I stepped out into the hallway and placed the green hangover medicine beside his door. I hope it catches his attention and doesn’t step on it. Then I finally headed to work.

Work was busy, the flow of customers didn’t stop until after lunch and after that it finally died down. I stepped outside during my break for a breathe of fresh air.

“Sena”

I turned beside me and time stopped. My whole body froze, my insides felt twisted.

“S..Suho…”

His handsome face still looked the same as I remembered. Still pale, still as smooth as marble. The rush of emotions flowed through me. Thousands of questions raced through my head. Seeing this ghost from my nightmare finally catch up to me. I had been running for so long.

My heart was in pain but I clenched my teeth from the hatred I felt.

“Sena, don’t go. Let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I turned but he grabbed my arm.

“Don’t touch me!” I growled as looked at him with glaring eyes.

His face made my knees weak, he was so beautiful. He was my weakness.

“Please Sena.” His voice was kind, His eyes pleading.

My head and heart were fighting each other. I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to scream.

I felt his arms around me, and I closed my eyes my heart was beating loudly against my chest.

Was it possible to be frozen from the warmth.

It had been a long time. The warmth of his embrace was so familiar, his scent was still the same. But I felt something else beside that familiarity. There was a rage and anger.

“Please leave.” I heard myself whisper.

"Can we just talk, I have so many thing to say."

"There's nothing to talk about" I spat.

I was shaking.

I felt him retreat.

Look how bitter I am now Suho. I’m not the same person anymore, it’s because of you.

I turned around and left.

“I’ll come back again Sena-”

I walked back inside. My hands were shaking. I leaned on the wall to calm myself.  Did that really happen? I look back outside to see him walking away.

I couldn't focus on anything. Too many things in my head, I felt sick in the stomach. I don't know how I got through the rest of the day. I headed home but even in my home I didn't feel safe from the thoughts that haunted me.

Suho was here.

Possibly to ruin everything I rebuilt and everything I stand for now.

But I don't think i'll be able to stop myself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

.Kai.

"Hey."

She looked at me but her gaze was far away.

Clearly she was not okay. I wanted to ask her what was wrong. What was going on in her head. I wanted to listen.

I didn't know why.

My hand automatically reached for my pocket to pull out a cigarette but I remembered she didn't like the smoke.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Thanks for the medicine this morning, you put that there right?"

I didn't know why I was trying to make small talk. It wasn't like myself.

She nodded.

I sighed again.

It was useless but I just wanted to hear her.

To be honest...

Last night it felt different. I felt better after admitting how i really felt. It had been a while since those thoughts surfaced. I felt like our walls went down, But now I feel like it was only temporary. She was now putting her wall up again, there was something inside me that didn't like that. Something that wanted to know more about her. What she else was she going through, why she was acting like this. I wanted to know more.

We were standing on the rooftop again. It was starting to be our meeting place. It was peaceful, a higher ground.

"What are you thinking about?"

She quickly looked at me surprised.

Did I say that out loud? I meant to only think it.

Her face softened and then she looked away.

"Just... things."

The air swirled quietly between us. I felt a chill down my spine, I don't know if it was the cold or from the sound of her voice.

I watched as the wind blow her long black hair, lifting it up in the air and tangling it together. My fingers wanted to reach over and catch them.

"Did he come and see you?"

"He... he came to see me at work... I haven't seen him for more than a year."

I clenched my jaw.

I could tell she was hesitating to tell me. But every word she said made me more curious.

"He left me for another girl, told me he didn't care, but now he comes back.” then she stopped.

“I don’t why i’m telling you this.You probably think it’s bothersome.”

“No not at all. It’s ok. You can tell me.”

She slid down and sat on the floor and I did the same.

“I hate him.”

“But still you feel something left from the past.”

Her silence was a confirmation.

I sat down beside her, “It’s easy to forgive, but not forget. If the wound is deep theres always a scar on the surface that won’t let us forget.”

“What about you Jongin-ssi. Do you still hurt?”

“I learned to become numb”

“He said he was coming back. I don’t think I have the strength...” she choked on her words as she wiped her eyes.

I clenched my jaw. Her body was shaking, the confusion in her eyes.

“I want to die.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

This fragile girl, I wanted to protect her.

“I’ll help you. Trust me.”

I reached over and wiped her cheek.

OMG I hoped you somewhat missed me and didn’t forget about me. So sorry for not updating in a while.

I promise to write atleast one chapter a week.

BUT YEAH…

I went to KCON 2013 and guess who I saw there.

THATS RIGHT~ EXO!!! and even GD, f(x), 2am,Teen Top, Crayon Pop and more~

BUT EXO <3

My feels when i think about it, i swear…

They were amazing and so handsome… like WOW.

Now I’m craving them even more than everrrr…

Ok I should shut up now

I should be even more hyped about writing but haven't had the time :(

<3 Thanks for reading!!