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The cold breeze entered my room swaying the plain white curtains. I must have left the window open again, I could smell the faint smell of rain and earth throughout my apartment.  I looked at my phone 7:15 am, It was Saturday, September 17 . So It’s been another year.

“Happy Birthday Sena” I greeted myself.

I stretched and lazily slipped out of bed. Instead of the same everyday routine, I decided I should treat myself to a nice breakfast instead of having toast. After washing up I changed into some casual clothes and put my shoes on. 

The streets were still wet, an evidence that rain had visited Seoul while the people slept that night. I brush past people, most seem to be in a hurry, all seem to have somewhere they need to be. I then decided to enter a small restaurant nearby that I always pass by on the way to work.

The smell of freshly brewed cofee and bacon instantly greeted me as I opened the door. I scanned the room and slipped inside a vacant booth. The place was busy, people chatted amongst themselves as they ate. I looked at the menu and decided to just get a simple platter.

“Hello! How are you?” The waitress greeted me with a smile.

“I’m fine, thank you”  I replied.

“Are you really?” a voice in my head asked.

After ordering, I quickly received my meal. I sat and quietly ate while watching the strangers around me.

I look around the busy restaurant wondering what others replied when they were asked the same question.

“I’m fine, thank you” said the man who just lost his job.

“I’m fine, thank you” said the girl that just broke up with her boyfriend.

It was the standard reply. A simple, polite phrase that mask how we really feel inside.

“I’m fine, thank you”, we say to be left alone.

I’m fine.

It’s been a year... I’ve been in Seoul for a year now. I left everything behind when I rode that plane from Jeju.

My life is simple now, my past is just a shadow that haunts me.

Lonely?

No, Just alone. I've survived, I’m fine on my own. I don’t need anyone. But I’ve never always been like this. I used to be surrounded by laughter, people that knew my name. But there comes a point in life when you find out everything isn’t what it seems. You find out having no one is better than having someone but hurting inside instead. Being hurt to the point that you lose yourself, you lose everything that is sweet and you become bitter instead. You learn that people are selfish, and you are replaceable.

I’m Fine.

There are moments when I remember how it was like to have, to love.Seeing lovers embrace... There are moments when I ache to be held too.  To wake up next to something warm.

But I’ve learned my lesson. Love is all about convenience. You might love another, they might love someone else.

My heart developed thorns to protect itself, like a rose, a cactus. Cemented to my chest so no one can take it.

I fill my life with strangers... I distance myself enough so no one can touch me, touch my life. Influence my actions...

Selfish?

Am I? Is it wrong to not want to hurt. Is it wrong to only care about myself.

Life is different now.

After paying for my meal, I stepped out of the restaurant to be greeted by the chill in the air.Feeling a drop on my cheek, I decided to cancel my plans of going to the grocery.I mentally kicked myself for forgetting to bring an umbrella. My apartment was about a half mile away, I walked fast praying it would stop.The drops on my shoulder started increasing about a quarter of the way, making my walk into a jog.People around me were scurrying to get indoors. I could almost see my apartment.

I dodge some movers running back and forth dropping off boxes in the lobby. By this time I was completely wet. The sky outside was now again dark, the skies releasing its anger. I shivered a bit as I walk slowly towards the elevator, waiting for them to open up.

After stepping in and pushing the third floor button, I shook my soaking hair a little as the doors started closing.

“WAIT!”

Surprised, I stuck my arm out to stop the doors.

“Thanks” he said as he stepped in the elevator. His voice was deep.

I look up and felt something stir inside me.

His face was too good looking, something you just see in the tv, or magazines. His hair was thick, his lips full, and as he looked forward you can see his perfect jawline. His clothes neatly pressed, perfectly fitted. Clearly expensive.

He was attractive.

I looked away and stared at the buttons on the elevator as if they were interesting.

I frowned. I hadn't even realized he hasn’t pressed a button  when the elevator doors opened to my floor and I stepped out.

I walked towards the end of the hallway to my apartment door, cursing to myself as I suddenly remembering that I forgot to close the window again. I entered the password to my door.

I was startled when I suddenly heard a cough behind me.

Turning around fast with my heart beating loudly from the shock, I was startled to see the same guy from the elevator.

Then it hit me, he was moving into the apartment in front of mine. He was now trying to juggle the boxes he was carrying in one arm while pressing the pin to the lock. Clearly he was having trouble, I frowned and mustered up the courage.

"Hello, Do you need help?" whispered my lips.

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Hi! I hoped that you enjoyed the first chapter of my story :)

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