무엇이 우리를 이토록 힘들게 했나

what made things this hard for us?

무엇이 우리를 이토록 어렵게 할까

what made things this difficult for us?

무엇이 우리를 이토록 힘들게 했나

난 일어나서 문을 닫아

i get up and close the door

난 외롭지만 문을 닫아

even though i'm lonely, i close the door

사실 오래전부터 함께 있어도 우린 외로웠잖아

truthfully, even though we were together for a long time, we were lonely.

사랑해 이제 하지 못할 말

i love you, the words i cannot say any more

사랑해 이제 할 수 없는 말

i love you, the words i cannot say

사랑해 이제 너를 보며 할 수 없는 말

i love you, the words i cannot say looking at you

사랑해 사랑해 사랑해 사랑해

i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you

Kai

Papers scattered all over my living room. I stretched my body and laid on the couch as I closed my tired eyes. Even if contracts were already signed, I always made sure to look over everything just in case there was a contradiction between the two companies. My eyes were tired after reading over everything. After a couple of minutes I opened them and started organizing the mess I made. While I was it I started picking up trash around the apartment. I took the bag of trash and headed outside.

I saw her on the floor in front of her apartment. She must have been drunk and passed out. I debated whether or not to wake her up. How troublesome, she’s probably going to wake up anyways no need to bother her. I quietly walked and took the trash out to the disposal.

To my surprise she was still there when I got back.

I knew it was wrong to just leave her like that, some might take advantage of her or something.

“Aish” I run my fingers through my hair.

I bend down to her level.

“Han Sena” I called out loud, while nudging her. “Han Sena” she didn’t move. I suddenly became nervous.

“”

“Han Sena!” My voice louder as I shook her.

I knew something was wrong .

Her face was contorted as if she was in pain. Sweat had poured out dampening her forehead. She had slight fever. My instincts told me this was something bad. I picked her up and she groaned.

I carried her in my arms and put her in my car. The hospital was only a few minutes away.

I drove as fast as a could beating the red lights on the way. I glanced at her once in awhile

Her face was white, lips quivering, she looked so fragile.This feeling felt so familiar. This girl always puts me in situations that made me feel helpless. I burst through the hospital doors trying to be as calm as possible but my heart failed me as it pounded on my chest for attention.

She was the wheeled away and rushed to the emergency room.

“Jongin” The tall blonde doctor approached me.

"Kris”

“She’s going to go through surgery. We believe her appendix already burst and it might cause some complications, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

I remained quiet.

“So who’s the girl?”

“My neighbor”

“We’ll be preparing for surgery, It won’t take that long. I’ll move her to a better room after so she can rest. Go home, I’ll take care of everything.” He patted my shoulders and walked away.

I went home and showered. I tried not to think about what just happened but the girl refused to leave my mind. Why did I let something like this phase me. She was a stranger.

With that thought I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

.................................................................................................................

Sena.

I woke up to the sound of beeping machines. My eyes trying to adjust to the bright hospital lights.

I felt nervous, I don’t remember how I got here. There was a slight pain on my side, it hurt when I moved. How long had I been here? So many questions ran through my mind.

I didn’t like hospitals.

........................................................................

A year and a half ago...

I was losing consciousness. The lights were too bright, they were too loud.

“She’s losing a lot of blood. The cut was pretty deep.”

Blood flowing from my wrist.

“Suicidal.”

.........................................................

No, I hated hospitals.

The nurse finally came in and told me about what had happened last night and that I could leave anytime.

How was I able to afford everything now. They even put me in a private room and the overnight stay plus the surgery. The thought of all the cost made me nervous. I slowly made my way to the lobby to sign my discharge papers, silently hoping that it wouldn’t be as much as I think it would. Here I was thinking that I can finally go on a vacation with the money I saved up.

I hated myself. Sena why do you have to be so weak.

“Han Sena”

“Just sign at the bottom” She handed me the paper.

“Can I see the bill now or will they send it in the mail?”

“Everything has been paid, you’re good to go.”

“Wait, are you sure? Can you please check again, there must be a mistake.”

She looked back at the screen again.

“Yes, It’s already been cleared.”

Noticing my confused look she scrolled down for more information.

“It was paid through card by a Mr. Kim Jongin.”

I hate owing people. I always feel like it is something that can be used against me.

I tried to think of what to say to him, but I didn't know how I could pay him back.

$2500 was a lot of money. It would have been better to just pay the hospital monthly but now I had to pay him. He was probably the one that found me. I felt frustrated. I don’t know what to do.

Here it goes.

I stood in front of his door and knocked.

No one answered. Relieved, I headed back to my apartment to think things through.

____________________________________

Sorry it took awhile to update! Been busy!

First of all did you like the song?

I was happy when I found it, the lyrics were just perfect for Kai and Sena’s past.\

Anyway~

What did you think about this chapter. Yes Sena suffered from depression and was suicidal.

Any Kris lovers out there like his little cameo?

I think he’d be a good doctor, he’d look good in a white coat kekeke

으르렁!!!

This month I’m going to see EXO

at KCON here in LA :D hoping with my VIP2 Tix i’ll get to see them in person

maybe get a little inspiration when I see Kai <3 hehehe