I put my record on , listening to the song i enjoy the most, Haru-haru. 

It was a beautiful song, but also a sad and dramatical were put into the lyric. I dont know about anything related to music, as long as i can listen and understand what the meaning of it. I stop for awhile and close my eyes, letting the wind breeze through my body, thin layered shirt and a pair of jeans that i use the most. Sometimes the song itself remind me of my past, my darkest year, through out my life.

Where i can say, my ex girlfriend, was cheating behind me. I lost many weights and many opportunity for myself. To face my future. But back in those time, my future was her. Solely her. I am damned if i dont talk to her even if just one day. I loved her, and by the past, everything i ever had is only her alone. This crashing memories flow by itself, and suddeenly making my head aching. It happened so many times, but why today it feels so strange.

 Ah not this feelings again, i tried to bury it away and let it go since two years ago. And the shadow of her keep bothering me, like shes always near me.

Okay this is enough for me, as i drove myself again to the uptown.

I looked up to the outside, our favorite part, once, was still the same. The lake that was really calm and the grass that now became brown. Fall was already here, i thought. The bench that always we used to have a lunch and jokingly together. This sweet memories of ours, can i still keep it? to remind me what person i become back then.

Yeah, since that day,6 months ago, i moved on to Seoul and leaving Busan, leaving all my ideals of the past, and also my dreams to become musician. I quit  from being a member of Bigbang to remove all the things that related to her, and my bestfriend too.

This is like a brand new me, less love and pain. In Seoul instead i built a coffe shop, and it was pretty famous. So here i am, walking down the park where i am used to get my inspiration. Im extending my partnership to Busan. Well it was quite a succes since it was only started 6 months ago. And everything that we have done always have a meaning. Thank you for everyone that was involved for my life.

"Hmm...Ahjussi, you sitting on the bench alone, you must be lonely"

I looked down and i saw a little girl holding a bear, pulling out my shirt.

"Ah am i that old to be called ahjussi? hahaha no im not alone, i just need some time here little girl"

"But ahjussi, i want to sit there too.." She pouted and i swear shes so cute. So i move and gave her a space to sit down.

" So ahjussi, why you put a ring on? you dont have anyone with you"

I kept silence at that question, thinking why i cant let go of this ring, the reason behind this painful she gave me. 

"no reason, i just like to wear accesories, little girl" And by that i can see her mom calling, she then run cutely and gave me a wave, what a cute little daughter.

I looked at my hand and yes, that ring, that i supposed to be my treasure, is no longer had its match. Only me wearing this, while the other is in another peoples finger. Or maybe she already throw it away. I remember for buying this ring when we go to this park, exactly at our first annivesary, with my first wage.

I brought my camera and filming her beautiful smile, her eyes, her hair that shine perfectly under the sun. And i still have those recording. I am so pathetic isnt. I cant throw all the stuff that were belong to me.

I just cant.

I am sorry for the short update >< ~~~~ hope you all enjoy this!!, and thankyou for subsricibing ++++++the lovely comment! oh woww and i am sorry english is not my first language ^^;