They keep telling me to go out and try to convince me not being a . And yeah it was only a matter of time i can just wake up from this situation. It just hurt so bad, the pain is not only my heart, but it affect to my whole body. Shes maybe the only drugs, the only medicine that can cure my broken fragile heart. And she also the destroyer of my heart.

Shes the drugs that can bring you joy and happiness but at the same time can made you misarable and rregretting life. The sweet poison, the death also the angle of my life. And at this point, i just cant believe her, shes cheating on me, on my back, with my own best friend.

I try to turn on the TV. Im tired hearing their advice that none other like . I looked at the screen and i can heard Daesung sighing really loud. Maybe he is tired too, for this past few months he always the one whose talking about my life, to move on and have a step forward. Im sorry friend, i cant take it anymore. Then they just sit along with me and join me to watch TV.

Suddenly, my phone is ringing. I look at the caller ID but i cant recognize it. So answer it immediately, curious for the caller.

"Yoboseyo....." a weak voice come from the other line. At first i didnt know who is it....but it hit me then...this voice, that i missed a lot, more than anything...both i hate it.

"Yoboseyo....ah.. Jiyong-ah, i know you are there, just please answer me....im s-s-s..sorry...." i can heard the hint of tears and it pained me a lot. My hands were shaking, more like trembling. I bite my lips to avoid that tear will be falling. I can see Seungri and Daesung looking at me with such a concern.

I try to regain my pride, to show her im okay without her, but i know i just cant, i must lie to her,"what do you want?" i gave her a very cold voice, i must be,

" I just want you ....uhghhuhg....Jiyong-ah..t-to...t-t-to forgive me..." theres a long pause, and i dont know it  just crush my heart. She is sick? she is coughing from the other line, i am really sorry for her, i she okay? should i ask her what is going on?

" I want you to continue life...to move on..please dont find me, and be happy with someone you l-l-love the most..im sorry jiyong, im so sorry...uhh... i guess this is the end of our relationship..." I lost my balance, my whole world is crashing, tears that cannot be avoided streaming along my face. My hands shaking nor my feet too.

I feel everything broken, shes breaking up with me. I pulled my hair out and scratch it like a mad man.

This can not be true.

"CHAERIN AH , WHAT IS THIS? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME LIKE THIS? CHAERIN-AH PLEASE, JEBBAL," 

" Does she held you when youre crying?"

Damn, tears running through my face.

" Does she know your favorite movie, did you forget me completely"

I try with all my strength to hide this pain, this shaking voice. 

"DONT DO THIS TO ME." 

"DONT YOU KNOW THAT I CANT THINK CLEARLY SINCE YOU LEFT? "

"DONT YOU KNOW I CANT LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY IT SUPPOSE TO BE?"

"DONT YOU KNOW YOU JUST DESTROY MY LIFE IN A BLINK OF EYES?"

"DONT YOU KNOW THAT ALL THIS MATTER DIDNT EVEN MADE SENSE AT ALL?" 

I am ing crying right now, it. I cant control my breathe, my eyes got redden, my heart beats so fast, and also my my soul was tearing apart.

"Dont you kkkknow....................... UGHHH DONT YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!! IM ING TIRED CHAERIN, WHY, YOU MADE MY LIFE SO MISERABLE?"

 I screamed with all my power, i can feel my hands are cold now but i dont ing care. I just want her to know what have she done to me, what have she ign done with my life.

I try to breath deeply and i can hear theres a sobbing, yes i know shes crying. I cant handle this anymore, i want to hug her, i want to know i am angry with myself too, adn i dont know whats the problem is. But then it just hit me, shes breaking up with me on the phone.

And theres still on another line, Chaerin, shes not saying a word, just sobbing, i knew she was hurt by my words, but im hurted too by her action, her action from cheating on me.

" is there another guy, chaerin? another guy that can make you feel special and can you all day......./SLAP/"  with that i get a slap, really hard one, from Daesung. And no wonder everyone in this room has overheard every sentence from me without even to question it.

"Dont ing assume that shes ing around with somebody jiyong! youre out of control now!!"  i can heard the serious tone from him.

I can taste blood from my mouth, and i still got a phone to answer. So i just look at Daesung with piercing gaze so he dont mess around with me.

" have a good day, Chaerin, and please get the out of my life..." I hang up and walked away from this room. I dont want anyone beside me right now, i dont want to interact with them. 

My head feels fuzzy and i feel anger crept up my body.

I pulled out my hair and thinking again, i was just broke up with her, on the phone. I kick the armchair with all my power, i throw the vase that she bought it at the new year eve to the wall. I screamed and throw everything at the desk. Our photo, our collection togethere, our memories that have been made for this two ing years.

I ripped those pillow, those ing chaerin's gift that she gave, I throw everyhting in my sight. I can feel blood flowing from my shivering hands. My face that also bruised and i bet it turned swollen now. I can bear with everything now. I look at my surronding and it was all a mess, just like me, only me. From the corner of my eyes, i see my two bestfriend wanting to stop me but they didnt ing dare. I want to scream, to getting all this ty feelings from my chest.

I fall on my knees, holding my head and still, why this damn tears wont stop. 

I harrow the floor, i punched it really hard. I want some pain from my body to forget this pain. 

There may be a dozens of people that can hurt my body, but theres only one people that can hurt my heart.

I held my head up to the ceiling, i can feel the warm of sunrays peeking from the window. Dust can been seen since theres so many feather were flowing around. 

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