My world is breaking. I though it was all a dream.

This morning, i take a shower and heal my scars from yesterday's fight. Yeah fight. With my bestfriend. I feel pain and blood still running in my face. But this pain can not be compared from theh pain in my heart. I got really sick, disgusted, by yesterday's scene. When Chaerin hugging TOP, and she is crying. Everything went blur after that.

I cant believe Chaerin is crying after all this time shes a though girl, really though. She can handle everything and thats one of th ereason i love her. Shes one of a kind. But why infront that man, im just disgusted by his name, shes crying. Her weak side was showing infront of that man.

My Chaerin who used to bringing me a delicious lunch and loves rillakuma, her giggles that sounds like a music to me. Her tanned skin that had an addictive smell. The Chaerin who always love reading child's book eventhough shes grown up now.

I smiled a little when i remember the idea she always , in a good way. Her honey thighs that really juicy compared by those skinny little . How her clothes wrapped her so perfectly and still show off her figures.

Our first time in my apartement, when mostly people asleep but we are fully awake. Her voice that really sounds heavenly to me, when our body become one. Her touch on my skin that made me feeling im in paradise. Everything is so natural. God how i missed that moment.

Does she even realized shes always swaying her hips that making me uncomfortable inside. Her cat eyes that looks fierce but also so lovingly adorable. Chaerin, why have to be crying infront of him?

I replay the moments back then, when me, TOP, and Chaerin, trying to compose song. And when before i was dating Chaerin. TOP is really good at rapping nor do i, and Chaerin, she had a beautiful energic voice. Its like a lullaby for me. Her crisp and strong voice made me drown to this another world of music.

Her voice always brightens my day, even the darkest day of my life. And i dont even remember the day before i met her. 

As we compose the song, i made the beats and they created the lyric, i can see they playfully joking around. I see spark in their eyes, and somehow it hurts me.

She is so fun to be with, and thats why i should make her mine fast. I know TOP is more attractive and also dork to be around, but well i have the chance too right.

When i officially announced that i and Chaerin together, i see the faces of my member. Daesung and Seungri cheering upon me, my besties Taeyang clapping his hand, but theres TOP. I can see a glance of dissapointment and sorrow.

After that we are back to oour bussiness, and when im too focused at my work, i realized Chaerin and TOP were nowhere to found. That time i didnt questioned much.

And few months ago, when we did our first gig, i swear i saw them talking damn close at the backstage. Even i myself never do PDA with her. Chaerin, is that true that youre with him?

When we go on date at  a sunny day, you bring him with us. And literally he is always following us eventhough he is trying to be hidden somewhere. That moment i felt like the dumbest person on the planet.

I asked him why he following me, he said that he want to go to the park too, and because he was,was,  my bestfriend, i allow him to join us. Yeah right, join us, more like wanna be close to Chaerin.

Remembering that time, i then splash my face with cold water. How can i be so blinded? so after all shes always with him. Hanging around, talking and playing together. Is she really thinking about my feelings?

I hit the mirror infront of me, i dont care if i have a broken hand, but it really piss me off. I can smell the blood in my bandage hand leaking. I then tearing up, my heart is aching, my body feeling weak, i just want to drown into the deepest sea. I can taste the saltiness of my tear, my vision became blurry, but brain keep replaying the image of her.

Chaerin-ah, what have you done to me?