Its been 2 months. Two ing months.

I literally had been living like zombie, i walk but nowhere to go. I ate but cant digest and taste the food. I drink but its seems useless because when im drunk, next day i will be in a bad hangover and still have to face real life. Because in this room, in my little apartemen, every corner of it remind me of her.

She consider it as her home itself. And i dont mind since shes the one i love, the one can lit up the room by only her laughter, her presence. 

Every friday night she always had a sleep over here, and its been two year and 3 months i going out with her. How can i possibly forget about her after all this time.

She meant the world to me. At night, we usually had a movie to watch while she only wore sweatpants and no make up on.

Her natural face is the best, i think. No smudgy eyeliner and smoky eyes. Just an innocent look that angel would been mistake her as a child. And we ocasionally played games, all kind of games.

Shes the best when it comes to poker, she always beat me in this games. Or when the boys joined us, we played truth or dare. It was so much fun when youre hanging around with your best men and girl. LIke match made in heaven.

My room isnt big enough, nor do small. But it can fit many guest and still more. Thats why we sometimes gather here while we discussing our music, and this band itself was going to be 4 years on this year. While we discussing music, Chaerin always giving away her opinions and it made us satisfy with her answer.

Shes like the light that took our band into the famous world, to be recognized by world. No wonder when only one year the band established, we had so many offer to perform or doing gig. Its all thanks to Chaerin, my Chaerin.

When we had a sleep over, She always the one that woke up last. And by that, i can always stare at her beautiful bare face sleeping. Her slowly breath, her kissable lips, the way she crunched her nose its the most adorable things that ive been see in my life. I just cant get enough of this girl, and sometimes i steal some kisses when shes sleeping, nor she mind. When i kiss her she crept a smile , a small smile, that warm my heart. The sunrays through the curtain of my windows peeking making her more flawless, especially her body.

Her y collarbone and soft neck, i also can trail a kiss there if i can too. Her arms that sweetly cuddling me or just put it on my chest, making my preserence more valuable than ever. How her hair smoothly covering half of her face, and touch my arms making me giddy. Her hair that i love the most, my precious princess. Her light brown hair that sweep away to her shoulder and more. And also her scent tht makes me dying, to the seven heaven. A hint of strawberry and vanilla on her lips makes me want to eat her alive. Her skin tone that was so bright and tan wanna taste every inch of it without being left.

And when she woke up, is the sweetest thing that i saw. 

"Good morning, angel" my morning voice, maybe kinda sound raspy and heavy, awoke her and made her smile while she scratch her eyes like a kitty. cute kitty.

"Morning too, my prince" 

Tears fall from my eyes, if i can trade evrything to bring back those memories, to do it again all over it, even if my soul i am able to do it. God im seldom praying to you, i have been such an in my life, but can you just grant this one wish, to become one with her again. Having her completely, belong to me.

As i regained the memories of her, i think it was all a lie. Maybe on her sleep, secretly, shes dreaming on another guy. And that soft lips, she may have kissed that other guy. And this past few months, shes always looks kinda tired, eventhough she never do something heavy.....she refuse to being close to me, and then distance was made between us. It was going so quick, i cant see her , in her eyes that glimmering some drugs that im addicted to it, now become more lifeless. What is going on, my dear Chaerin?

I then open the door and walking to search some fresh air, to calming my mind. I walked down the croded street and im so lost, im lonely in the noisiness. I can see some people with their work bag in rush checking their watch, some couple side be side talking to each other, mother carrying her son, they all looks happy, have their own goal.

But whats my aim, whats my intention to live now?

Chaerin was gone, my bestfriend abandoned me, i never practice with the band this few months, i rarely sleep nor eat. I cant smile, i cant breath, i cant see those light that always lead me to happiness, i cant even feel my feet now, my body being pushed by the crowd.

Never did i know, i am already infront my apartemen. And i can see my friends, Daesung and Seungri, whom i believe trying to cheer me up, standing infront of the door. They greet me but i just lazily walked myself to the living room. They just followed me behind.

"Jiyong-ah, please, come back to the studio, we need you, All of us, need you. This two months we cancelled many gigs and we lost our path. We do care for you but this is way beyond what we expect. We know you care for Chaerin, but shes already move on and you cant do anything with it. This few months too we take turns to visit you but it seems that you didnt recover yet, JIyong-ah, please come back to us..."

Their words,its just a vanished words. Another words that everyday i heard of since she left me. They visit me routine but im stil this helpless guy who cant be told.

".....and Chae, maybe now shes happy with someones now"

Theres sudden sting when they mentioned Chaerin, with someone. 

Can i have that moment again, for once.

For only one last goodbye.

hehehhehehheh so what do you think ;) please subscribe and comment!!!! thats mean a lot to me ~~~~~~ chu :*