seventeen
A Worth Obsessing Over친구라는 이름 어느새
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According to adults, teenagers are only capable of three things: Shutting up when spoken to, being at school when expected to, and keeping up appearances when mommy and daddy tells them to. They look past the lies, the faults, the masks and everything else that make secrets come alive and spread like a contagious disease no antibiotic in the world can kill. Parents and adults alike never want to realize a teenager’s ed up reality was really all about the bullies, the suicide ratings, the beatings, the cheaters, the one-night stands and so much more than they’re hearts can take.
So, with that being said, my journal would be nothing without the drugs that are responsible for creating a group of teens who knew how to people’s lives over without so much as breaking a sweat. They crept in the shadows like any druggie would and stayed out of trouble by living it up in two different spectrums of a double life. They blended in. They were like any other student who got the grades they needed to stay under the radar. It made them such smart mother ers who’d you think twice before befriending if you were lucky to know who they truly are, because once you get caught up in their bull, you never get out. They literally make you addicted to the acronyms that defined them to the very core of their corrupted souls:
Ecstasy
X-pill
Opiates
Ketamine
Exo K.
They were the beginnings to an end.
A bunch of smart thugs you really don't want to mess with.
A sibling portrait displayed the rarity that was Myu Na, Jiho and Yongguk smiling for a single moment in time where a piece of perfection fixed within the ornate frame he held in his hands. “That necklace…” Daehyun scanned over the photo he had plucked off of his girlfriend’s makeup table. He sat on the edge of her pink bed, marveling over the jewel that hung from her neck. “You look really beautiful with that necklace on.” A hexagon shaped pendant took center stage with its bejeweled letters that spelled out the one word not many people knew of: Exo. Only those associated with the manufacturing or distribution of drugs proudly represented an unspoken name that was as secretive as the ‘products’ they sold. So to think Myu Na was involved with Jongin and his gang in any way had been, from the very beginning, the beauty of what secrets were made of.
“Where did you get this?”
Myu Na sat beside her boyfriend and took the photo in hand. “I got it as a gift.”
“It means the world to you, doesn‘t it?”
Myu Na looked up to meet his gaze, an expression of confusion marring her features. “It doesn’t mean the world to me.” She denied with a shake of her head. “What would make you think that?”
Daehyun shrugged. “You looked really sad the second I mentioned it. It was like the mood in the room changed.”
A reminiscent soul she was. Her fingers smoothed over the glass surface of the frame she readjusted in her grasp, her eyes glazed over in remembrance of a time Daehyun did everything that he could to pry out of her. “Are you okay Myu Na?”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m really sorry if I brought up something that I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s okay. It‘s nothing.” She smiled up at him with a renewed demeanor that was almost successful in changing the subject at hand. He could feel the shift coming a mile away and Daehyun took the small gap of silence to keep them both on the same path that he hoped would eventually open to the floodgates where the truth laid.
“You mind if I ask you a question?”
“No,” She replied uneasily “I don't mind at all.”
“Who gave you that necklace?” He usually wasn’t the ‘straight-forward’ type who rammed through the walls of her defenses with a question that was as intrusive as he was. But he figured, why beat around the bush when progress needed to be made as quickly as possible.
“A friend.” A collected smile lavished her awkwardly gleeful mien. “A close friend gave it to me.” And despite how ‘played out’ her entire act was, the reply was all he needed to hear. Fingers entwined, a smile of his own brightened the mood and the photo was set aside once they decided to make their way out of her room hand-in-hand.
The day of ‘meet the parents’ had finally arrive and with their matching rings (one around his neck and the other worn around her middle finger) out in the open for all the world to see, Daehyun literally felt like he was walking into a situation where he was expected to go down on one knee. This was way too fast, too serious of an event and far too ‘unexpected’ for his liking because not only did he have to prepare himself to play Myu Na ’s parent’s into an act he had to prefect to the letter, but the agony that was convincing Yongguk to buy into his whole charade was literally gnawing at the back of his mind like a starving dog pulverizing a bone.
“Mom,” Myu Na ’s mother looked up from her computer that she had set upon the dining table currently being prepped by ‘the hired help’. Since her parents had arrived in an untimely fashion (so expected of the rich in Daehyun‘s perspective), it was the first time Mrs. Bang laid eyes on the man her daughter was apparently so fond of. “Where’s dad?”
“He’s in the basement.” Was her stringent reply, the austerity of her tone and the way calculating eyes scanned him from head to toe reminding Daehyun far too much of the man he loathed. “You should go accompany him. But before you go, I want to see this ‘boy’.” She waved said ‘boy’ over with an index finger. “Come over here.”
Not even a minute with her and already Daehyun wanted to put her under his ‘people he’d find much pleasure in watching them get eaten by a zombie’ list. First of all, Daehyun was not a boy. He was a man! And secondly, who did she think she was giving him that all knowing look as if he was some kind of lowlife expected to follow her every command. Daehyun would’ve rooted himself in place, maybe even turned his back on the wench for good measure, if it wasn’t for Myu Na tugging him to her mother’s side.
She stood up, her eyes the mirrored image of her eldest son’s stare that bared an intimidating factor like no other. “Have you two engaged in the ing endeavors also known as ?”
“W-What? ing?" Talk about getting to the point! He thought she was joking. She had to be joking, right?!
“My word Myu Na .” The woman looked to her daughter aghast. “His indistinct jaw line, his locks of hair that is as unflattering as his wardrobe, his weary eyes, and his disproportionate physiognomy makes him fall under the category of unseemly and unappealing in a physical sense.”
‘Hold up just a ing minute?! Did she just call me ugly?!’ The answer; yes, Bang ing Yongguk’s mother just insulted him right to his face. He may not have an IQ anywhere near Youngjae's level, but he was smart enough to know when and where to hold his tongue and keep his award-winning smile in place.
“It was wrong of me to assume his intelligence would compensate for his appearance.“ In other words, she hadn’t a clue what her daughter saw in him. “So perhaps you should get your boyfriend the dictionary upstairs since he is incapable of processing a simple exchange of words.”
‘Yeah, give me that dictionary and I‘ll probably find your picture by the word ‘‘!’ Daehyun was gritting his teeth at that point just to keep with the mask that refrained from unveiling the dragon of a man who wanted to set Myu Na ’s mother on fire. Oh what he wouldn’t give to cement her feet and push the haggard wench into the nearest river he could find!
“There’s no need for a dictionary Ma’am.” Murdering her wasn’t an option. Talking back would probably just add fuel to an already emblazoned flame. Daehyun couldn’t really use his own clever twist with words against her so he opted for keeping his mouth shut before he said something that would send him straight out the door…or at least that was what he planned on doing before the smug look on the woman‘s face set him off. “I understand the blatancy of your inquiry and, quite honestly, I think ion is a matter that is for us to know and for you to find out by means of…“ Oh god, was he even using these words correctly? Youngjae had been the extension of his brain for so long that Daehyun had this crazy idea his ‘smarticus’ would rub off on him.
Whether that was true or not, there was nothing he could do now but to go with it. “well, if you so happen to walk in on us or if we decide to tell you.” He was charming, his smile bringing forth an elegant dash of self-confidence that quirked the woman’s refined brow. It must’ve been her first encountering someone as outspoken as the rebellious Jung Daehyun because, for what appeared to be the first time in her life, she didn't know what to say. “But, since I don‘t have a problem relaying the information of our life, we haven’t ed nor do we plan to any time soon because I respect your daughter’s decision to wait and, since we‘re on the topic of manners and respect, I was really hoping you’d mirror the charming qualities that make Myu Na so beautiful from the inside. Yanno,’ by restraining yourself from judging a book by its cover. Because who knows, this unappealing and unseemly shell might be packing more than meets the eye.” It wasn’t one of his best comebacks, but it was enough to silence the wench who must’ve put Daehyun on a ’zombie eating’ list of her own.
She sat back down on her chair and returned to her work but not without sending the two off with a wave of her hand.
“I’m so sorry about my mother.” There was nothing to apologize for. After all, she had warn him of her parent’s strong personalities days before the whole arrangement of meeting her parents came up.
“It’s alright. I’m kind of use to that kind of thing anyways. So it’s cool. Nothing to get yourself worked up about.” He kissed her temple, the tenderness of the embrace that followed still not enough to wipe away her pouty lips.
“That doesn’t excuse what my mother said.” She let out a disheveled sigh. “She can be so…overbearing sometimes.”
“Oh c’mon, she wasn’t that bad.” But who was he kidding!? She was ‘badder’ than bad. That woman was his worst fears in combination with his worst nightmares come true! “In all honesty, I was expecting something much more worse than her asking if we had .”
“Well, if it amounts to anything, I think your face is very proportionate, very seemly, very tidy and very handsome.”
Imagine the most awkward compliment you ever received in your life and that, by ten folds, would far exceed the blush, the fluctuating intonation of her voice and her wandering gaze that roamed over everything but him. To save Myu Na from the embarrassment, Daehyun wordlessly followed alongside her as they made their way to the staircase that led to the basement.
“Oh, before we go in you have to put this on.” She handed him a pair of noise cancelling headphones that hung from the rack beside the doorway. There was no way in guessing what waited for him downstairs, but if it required the distortion of one of his senses, he was pretty sure it was something he’d least expect.
“Furby?” Yongguk was either hearing things or something was really wrong with his phone. “You’re talking about those unsightly dolls, right? The one that looks like a mix of a gremlin with huge eyes?”
“That’s right…a Furby. That Hasbro toy.”
“And he’s scared of that?”
“More along the lines of terrified.” His informant didn’t fail him yet and with Daehyun’s phone in his possessions, the undisclosed information of his personal life was coming in trickles, thanks to some sort of virus, firewall, Trojan or whatever it was that was threatening to erase everything on the devices Yongguk had stole in Itaewon. “I’m trying to hack into his text messages and files that should have some photos and other information I’m sure you’ll be more than interested in but there‘s some complicated codes that‘s in my way. I‘ll get it to you though. So no worry about that.”
“Alright. Do what you can and get me something more useful than a Furby phobia.” He hung up just when Minho took a seat beside him on the bleachers.
“So, I was wondering-”
“Don’t start.” Yongguk warned.
“I didn’t even say anything yet.”
“I know what you’re going to ask me and the answer is no.”
“But we’re teammates.” Minho whined. “It’s been about 700 days straight since I asked you about Myu Na and I was hoping that you’d put in a good word for me. Can‘t you do that? Isn‘t it some kind of rule or code that you help a teammate out?”
Being pestered with the same question over and over, and over again never sat well with a man who already had a lot on his mind. He wasn’t cupid. Fixing his sister up with one of his teammate wasn’t, and never will be, on his agenda even if Minho was the last male on earth. Mankind could die for all he cared. “Let me try and make this as painless as possible. My sister is already dating someone.” Which reminded him, he had little over half-an-hour to get home from practice to fulfill his promise by meeting the ‘most funny, super charming and handsome guy she had the pleasure of meeting.’
His sister could be so over-dramatic sometimes.
“Dating someone? No way! Who is she going out with? I have the right to know who this guy is!”
Maybe harboring a two year crush entitled him to some form of truth, but Yongguk didn’t have the time for that nonsense. “I don’t know who this guy is. I never met him yet. If you were crushing on my sister for as long as you claimed to have been, you’d know she’s a girl who loves her surprises as much as she likes dishing them out. So I have to go before Myu Na gets on my for being late.”
Unlike his little brother Jiho, Yongguk wasn’t the overprotective type. If Myu Na wanted to date someone from their school, hook up with one of his teammates or form some kind of long distance relationship with god knows who, then all the more power to her. She was her own person. If she was smart enough to skip a grade, than she had the brains to weed out the idiots that would eventually lead her to her prince charming. Although, the topic of his siblings dating never had the chance to lingering on his mind for too long. But once it came up his thoughts started jumping from Myu Na , to her mystery man, backtracking to the dateless Minho, until finally situating on Jung Daehyun.
“Dating…” Going out with Daehyun wasn’t a part of the plan. Bets were made, an opportunity was presented and Yongguk literally jumped the gun with a request that wasn’t as predetermined as the game they were going to fight to win until the very end. He had a lot to lose. No one, not even his brother and sister knew about his scars and to go out of his way to tell Daehyun the truth was like revealing a part of himself he swore to keep hidden until the day he died. “But what’s the problem?” Yongguk sank back into the leather upholster of his viper. “All I have to do is win and I’ll get my prize.”
But was it a prize?
Was dating Daehyun something he wanted? Yongguk could admit, on a metaphysical level unbeknownst to the man in question, he needed Daehyun and, physiologically, he desired him. It was confusing and that confusion only billowed into an even thicker cloud of perplexity every time Daehyun was near. Touching him, kissing him, having fingers outline his face, his neck, his shoulders, his hips and the heated sanctums of his inner thighs was as addicting as the game that he never once asked to be a part of. But he was in the midst of it all, setting up his pawns, his knights, his bishops and his rooks to invade a territory that was presume to be indestructible.
According to his informant, Daehyun hadn’t open his heart to anyone for the past four years or so. Something happened and that something made him recklessly seek out any kind of distraction to ignore the thrumming beat of an organ that wanted to experience a type of love that was all-consuming. And perhaps Daehyun’s unconscious desire to hold onto someone that was on par with everything that made him foolish, daring, careless and impulsive had been responsible for the breath-taking, deep-throat kisses Daehyun pulled Yongguk into when he straddled him on that chair. Maybe, if Yongguk hadn’t told him how much he ’wanted him’ they would’ve gotten lost in the gossamer blanket of ecstasy that made him feel like he really didn’t want to let Daehyun go.
But it was stupid to think that.
It was crossing over that bridge of crazy that was unstable and unreliable to the root of its foundation that kept his dwindling hopes standing. Not that he had hopes for anything. Yongguk didn’t know what he was thinking about anymore because his hormones had already gone against the man who squirmed in his seat. It was getting hot and the AC (cranked to full blast) wasn’t helping him with the situation in his pants. Hormones were being a at the moment and Yongguk did everything that he could to combat it the second he pulled into the garage.
He put his car in park, shifting gears more aggressively than usually and yanking at the breaks with the same force he used on the door he slammed shut behind him. Yongguk wasn’t particularly upset, mad or enraged. In all honesty, he didn’t know what he was feeling but the doors that obstructed his path took the bulk of the emotions that went awry.
“Always making a ruckus.” His mother commented disdainfully. “You already passed the insolent stage of prepubescene, don’t you think Yongguk? Why don’t you put your energy to good use and get your father’s Betty upstairs. He’s in the basement with your sister and her…boyfriend.” She scorned the label bestowed upon a man she thought was undeserving of being within a 10 mile radius of her daughter. Myu Na was too good for him. She wanted someone who was just as refined as her daughter and to have the reality hit her that Daehyun was the opposite of her ‘golden child‘ put her in a bad mood. “You should talk some sense into your sister or perhaps encourage that ill-mannered creature she calls a boyfriend to acquire at least a few social graces before dinner begins.” Impressing someone as hypercritical and shallow as his mother was impossible. Yongguk knew that, Jiho experienced it firsthand, and Myu Na spent time with their mother long enough to take heed of bringing her ’partners’ around when they were home.
So it didn’t make sense why she would subject her new boyfriend to the queen of hell. ‘Who cares. It’s not my problem. The faster the night ends the better.' Not pondering on the reasons any further, Yongguk retrieved his father’s Betty and put on his headphones before descending the staircase where his sister and the figure of a man he assumed was her boyfriend. Their backs were turned to him, his father the only one who was able to acknowledge his arrival with a warming smile.
“Ah, there’s my boy.” His father beamed, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. “I was just talking about your marksmanship son.”
Betty, also known as his father’s favorite Beretta, was held at his side. He could make out what his father was saying through the earphones that muffled his words, but what he focused on was the familiarity of a body he knew all too well. He seen it all before, from the cropped layers of auburn hair his fingers had the liberty of streaming through, to the lean silhouette of the hips he had held onto; and when the realization that the man who had dated his sister for weeks now intentionally kept his back to him for reasons they both were well aware of, Yongguk had lost all control of whatever it was that made him slam doors all the way into his home.
They were standing in what could be the only personally owned shooting range in all of Seoul. The target was set up, the bull’s-eye already in Yongguk’s line of view. He stepped up to the open booth and without giving his father a chance to speak of the perfection that was his eldest son, Yongguk raised the handgun and opened fire on the mannequin’s head that took every hit from the onslaught of bullets that came its way. He didn’t take the time to line up his shot. Like his father mentioned, he was a marksman of sorts who could empty a whole clip under 3 seconds and still maintain an accuracy that was as lethal as the glare Daehyun hesitated to face.
Every shot shook him to the core, rattling his insides and reverberating the walls of his heart that clenched in both fear and anticipation for what had yet to come. Daehyun took a deep breath and turned to only have his lungs seemingly collapse under the pressure that was Yongguk’s gun pointed right at him. All efforts of breathing had left him like the color that drained from his face. “Did you my little sister?”
The Bang family wasn’t capable of covering up a murder, were they?
Daehyun had hoped the only sensible adult in the room would take control of Yongguk’s sudden mental breakdown, but Myu Na's father said not a word against the insanity that unfolded before him. Myu Na however had a lot to say. She was begging her brother to put down the gun, that it was dangerous to wave a weapon around so carelessly as he did, and that the man in question didn’t lay a hand on her, which was true. They hadn’t even kissed for sakes. But did Yongguk believe her?
Of course not. Why should he? After all, the possibility that his sister was deflowered by a man who saw games as a means to control people wasn’t his concern. It wasn't about Myu Na at all!
Daehyun could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice and feel it in the heated gaze that conveyed so much more than either one of them could withstand. What Yongguk was feeling at that moment -what reflected off of Daehyun’s eyes - barely scratched the surface of what Yongguk fought so hard to emotionally understand. It wasn’t jealousy. It wasn’t betrayal. To his surprise, everything he had done didn’t even come from repressed anger. What hovered his index finger over the trigger of his father’s gun had instead stemmed off of a sense of danger, of darkness, of complexity, and especially a sense of lost that ruthlessly tugged at his last strand of sanity.
And it was barely comprehensible.
Yongguk couldn’t fathom what made him want to scare the out of Daehyun, but when he pulled the trigger and the lethality of his gun clicked empty, the deadened, fairly passive and unflinching demeanor that Daehyun bore was enough to convince Yongguk that what they gotten themselves into was more than just a game. It was a mind-ery. That sense of lost - that emotion that could barely be explained with words alone was relatable to that of a puzzle where the soul shattered, his mind tattered, and his heart went along with it.
And it wasn’t about love either.
Oh god no! That was the farthest thing from Yongguk’s mind. “Dinner isn’t happening.” Because with his soul, his mind and his heart came the ego that joined in the rubble. “I want you out of my house.” He was losing.
“You can’t just kick my boyfriend out!”
Bang Yongguk was finding it hard to stay afloat in a game that made a part of him wish his gun had an extra bullet in its chamber. “Dad doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.”
Her father wasn’t on her side. He may have been the more rational and accepting parent compared to her mother, but, like any protective father, he was against any other man, that didn‘t hold the Bang name, to take his daughter‘s hand. “Dad, say something!”
“Perhaps it’s best we reschedule this dinner when your mother isn’t overwhelmed by her work and the pressures of your brother’s game next week isn’t clouding his better judgment.”
“Dad!”
“No, Myu Na , your father’s right.” Kissing wasn’t a part of the agenda. Daehyun wanted to face this day head on with his ’vibrant’ personality in tact. But no one was giving him the time of day. With Myu Na ’s mother being the wicked of the west, her father wanting him out of the house and Yongguk literally giving him no choice with a gun aimed right at him, Daehyun had no other choice but to smile and give that reassuring squeeze to her girlfriend’s shoulder. “It would be better to really get to know your family if everyone wasn’t so…” Daehyun looked to Yongguk in particular. “Uptight.”
No one gave her the chance to put up a struggle. So she hung her head forward and sighed in defeat. “Okay. Fine. I’m just so sorry my family is like this.” Myu Na sourly glared in her brother’s direction before they made their way upstairs with Yongguk silently following close behind.
“Afraid we’d get lost on our way to the front door Yongguk?” Daehyun didn’t bother to look over his shoulder. He could hear his fuming footsteps a mile away.
“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t find yourself in our food pantry. Wouldn‘t want you to get stuck in there.”
What was that supposed to be? A stab at his ego? Because if that was the case, the memories that flickered through his head successfully plunged a huge butcher knife right into his chest. Fists curled tightly at his sides, his throat going dry and his heart awkwardly thrumming against his chest by the unwanted images that pushed into the forefront of his mind.
“Is everything alright Daehyun? Again, I’m so sorry you had to come all the way here to only get-”
“No, no, it’s really fine Myu Na . These things happen and I’m alright. I’ll just see you at school, okay?”
“You want me to drop you home? It’s the least I can do after everything that’s happened.”
“It’s okay. I’ll just walk home. I need some fresh air anyways.” But before he left, why not push some buttons for the ’gun play’ Yongguk pulled on him? Daehyun was already playing with fire as it is so he thought, why not have the icing on the cake by luring the devil out of his inferno cave? He took Myu Na ’s hand, the two completely ignoring the human statue that was Bang ing Yongguk looking over his little sister's shoulder. A comforting gesture that swiped Daehyun’s thumb across his girlfriend’s delicate fingers tugged at Yongguk’s furrowing brows. He was smiling, Jung Daehyun gracing the woman in his life with the pleasantries of a gleeful grin that was unaffected by the series of events that led him out the door. “I’ll call you.” And after placing a gentleman’s kiss upon her rosy cheek, Daehyun went on his merry way.
He didn’t bother seeing the look on Yongguk’s face. Daehyun had enough of an imagination to mentally engrave the indentation of animosity all over brows that dipped and lips that snarled. The biting cold that at his skin probably wouldn’t have beaten the frigid caverns Yongguk’s entire body possessed. And perhaps, thinking about it now, he could admit he probably pushed the envelope a little too far. He wasn’t sure, but the answer wasn’t too far behind because once a car came screeching to a stop beside him, Daehyun could see for himself just how pissed off Yongguk was.
“Get in the car.”
Daehyun softly chuckled to himself. “Let me guess. ’Get in the car or I’ll force you in their myself,’ is that it? Is that what my defiance will earn me? Being kidnapped for the second time this month?”
“Or I can beat the out of you right there...it’s your choice.”
Daehyun tugged up the sleeve of his tailored suit and noted the time before taking in his surroundings. Yongguk stepping out of his car, the slamming of his door lifting Daehyun’s attention from his watch and to the man who waited for his next move.
“Yanno, I’m kind of glade you didn’t bring that stupid motorcycle of yours.”
“And why’s that?”
Daehyun shrugged off his coat, dropped the constricting material to the floor and began loosening his tie in an affable manner. He may have been staring death in the face, but Yongguk’s threats weren’t enough to dampen his mood. “It gives us the chance to play on the same level.”
Before Yongguk could register everything that was said, Daehyun made a break for it. A game of cat and mouse began and Yongguk gave chase through the narrow alleyway littered with obstacles that put his endurance to the test. Yongguk was a basketball star, which made him built for the adrenaline-inducing relay that sent Daehyun jumping on dumpsters, leaping over fences and dodging whatever stood in his way.
What he was chasing after, what Yongguk was bending over backwards to obtain was more than meets the eye. It went beyond snagging that chance to wring his hands around Daehyun’s neck; for his intentions weren’t to really hurt him, but to simply take a hold of him, keep him in place and search within a gaze riddled with a sheen layer of confusion that far exceeded his own. And when they entered a dimly lit tunnel covered in graffiti, Yongguk had acquired that chance to take him by the arm, slam him back into the wall and hold him down with fingers wrapped around his arms.
“I ing hate you.” The harshness of Daehyun’s words fanned over Yongguk in an array of heat that poured out of them both. The chase left them winded, their words saturated by the heaving breaths that stripped him of the freedom Daehyun found it difficult to obtain. “Let me go or I swear to ing god you’re going to regret it.”
“Like how you’re going to regret messing with my sister?”
What he wouldn’t give to materialize into the brick wall Yongguk pinned him to. To shrink back into the darkness of the night that was as concealing as the mask he wore would've been a godsend. He tried to keep it up - tried so hard to antagonize him with a pull at the corner of his lips. But the distance between them was as confining as the pantry Yongguk had spoke of not too long ago, his hands binding him in compliance to the eyes that sought out for the attention Daehyun was far to stubborn to give him.
“I’m not messing with your sister.” Lies were a formidable thing.
“You don’t love her.” They were a pain in the to uphold. “You don’t even want to be with her.”
“How would you know that?” Lies just destroyed people from the inside out. “Because I made the bet that I would break up with her if you won!” They were the décor of a mask that acted like a second skin the more one keeps up a charade they couldn't control.
“It’s not about the ing bet. It wasn’t about any of that at all.” Lies revolved around one saying. “It’s about you.” A saying that holds true to the situation at hand. “It’s all about you unable to accept the truth.” Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. “That I want you as much as you want me and you’re trying to ignore that fact because you’re scared.”
“Are you being ing serious right now. Get it through your head that I don’t want you.” In most cases, laughter was one of the many indications of a lie. “I never wanted you. There’s no reason to want you.” Reiteration was on that list as well. “You’re a pain in my and that’s all you’ll ever amount to in my life. That’s all I ever want you to be.” Which also included the lost of what little strength that prevented his words from falling into the whispers that cast his eyes in shadow.
“Give me a chance.” The tension in Daehyun’s shoulder subsided, the tranquility of his unmoving state eventually spreading throughout his body. Daehyun could no longer fight or find a reason to escape him and Yongguk felt it in the hand that gently grabbed at his sleeve. Fingers curled, fisted and pulled him in, a move that was unlike him, and yet the anomaly that was Jung Daehyun drawing him near was enough to transfer the warmth of Yongguk’s hand upon the dusky pink plains of the younger's cheek. “Give me a chance to be the best thing in your life.”
It was impossible. That spot was reserved for Youngjae and the only family he had left. Bang Yongguk couldn’t permanently stay in his life. Friend, foe, or star-crossed lovers: whatever category their relationship fell under, he didn’t belong. He couldn’t belong. Daehyun wouldn’t allow him to break into the walls of his defenses he had spent years building from the ground up.
"You're stupid. You're so ing stupid. What do I have to do to make you hate me?" But the darkness of Yongguk's gaze, the endless abyss that instilled within his eyes, and the lips that contrasted with the rough contours of his face wasn’t something Daehyun could easily walk away from. The transcending reasons of rational thought swept away by the tempest storm only desire could ever be responsible for. And it never made sense. It all never made a of sense.
Yongguk moved in to capture his lips, but it was Daehyun who met him half way, taking him by the front of his shirt and guiding him back just as he did days ago when they walked out of that pantry. There wasn’t a chair to support the fervency of a kiss that made Yongguk weak in the knees, but there was the adjacent wall Daehyun pressed him up against, pinning him back with the lean silhouette of his body that flushed against his own.
Daehyun’s hands scrambled beneath his shirt, fingers traveling up his back where the imperceptible protrusions of his scars could be felt. He didn’t shy away from the imperfections, instead the tips of his fingers outlined, encircled and brush against the marred canvas of flesh etched with a past Daehyun yearned for.
But there was so much more to desire - so much left for Yongguk to fulfill.
Yongguk wanted Daehyun to feel as if he couldn’t go a day without the interchangeable kisses that was a balanced mixture of tenderness, neediness and abrasiveness that left him wanting more. The matted surface of Daehyun’s tongue would eventually recognize the textured pallet of his own. Taste buds would adhere to the sweetness of his kisses, the bitterness of a dominate nature that couldn’t be overcome, and when things go a little too far and Yongguk bit down on the lower lip he couldn’t get enough of, his mouth would taste as if metal laved right over his tongue.
He’ll remember him.
Daehyun will remember how hard it was to breathe whenever he was around. Yongguk would deprave him of the air needed to think straight all for the purpose of staying under lustful clouds that turned them round and switched positions as Daehyun was yet again secured against the wall. Yongguk pulled away from him, coming up for air but was quickly plunged back under the enchantment of demanding kisses when hands grabbed at either side of his face. There were words being said, syllables meshed against their mouths that clashed into one another and tongues that collided in that same unconstrained fashion.
“Win.”
Without warning, the younger's hand smoothed over his lips like a muzzle. Daehyun kept him at a distance, literally controlling him and constraining him under his fingers. The meaning behind the single syllable he blurted out escaped him. He wasn’t sure what he meant, but what Yongguk came to understand was the reason why Daehyun suddenly put up a wall of restraint.
“Daehyun, you need us to step in?” Like clockwork, Kris, Tao, Xiumin and the others arrived to their little piece of heaven that was their safe haven. It was their hangout - the place they met up at exactly 8 o’clock every other day of the week.
“I’m good. I got this under control.” Daehyun slipped out from between the wall and the man who watched as Daehyun reversed his steps to stand beside the people he called his family. Xiumin handed Kris the metal bat he always had on his person, just in case he had to take matters into his own hands. But there was nothing to worry about. Yongguk wasn’t stupid enough to approach a pack of mutts who wrecked havoc on their hometown.
“Win.” Yongguk turned his attention back to the wistful smile that curled the feral corners of Daehyun’s lips. Again, he didn't understand what Daehyun was getting at. The teen had turn his back on him with his group following close behind, but it was when they neared the end of the tunnel did Daehyun finally spun on his heels to finish his train of thought. “If you want a chance…all you have to do is win the game.”
A/N: Okay, I kind of lied OTL I can't even get up short chapters frequently with how schools turning out to be so busy for me. So I just decided I'll post once a week (or whenever I have time). So yeahhh~ here is chapter seventeen x3 Sorry about this chapter...I wrote this in one go in a very sleep-deprived state xD I'm so lazy to re-read it for errors and such but I just wanted to get something out.
Thank you to contaegious for the upvote! Also thank you so much to her again for the awesome shop that provides so much of the layouts I use in this story. Like seriously, her shop is gorgeous okay. I can never say that enough!
ALSO, THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS GUYS/GALS! <---- yes that is caplocked for reasons because y'allz comments make me all giddy inside...I think I said that before but what's the harm in saying it again <3
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