eleven
A Worth Obsessing Over
“You wanted that , didn’t you? You were so eager to get one. ” A squabble between lovers was quite the spectacle from an observer’s point of view. It had its quirks, especially when one was pissed and the other was hell bent in defending whatever honor he had left.
“No Youngjae, I didn’t. I just wanted to save you the trouble of going through all that ‘difficult’ stuff.”
“Difficult? You think sitting on a chair is difficult?” Youngjae rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. “I didn’t know it takes skills, only you apparently have, to sit on a chair and get a .”
“JaeJae.”
“No, don’t you dare ‘JaeJae’ me.” He haughtily combated with a whip of his head, directing his attention elsewhere. “I got that so I could save you the trouble of sweet talking your way out of a compromising situation.” Being in love with a bi-ual male added more complications into an already unstable relationship filled to the brim with one rule after the next. Himchan couldn’t be seen with him and, quite frankly, he put all his efforts in understanding that. Youngjae knew it was better to hide in the shadows rather than face the ramifications of their relationship in the limelight of everyone’s scrutiny. But when Himchan’s heart had the potential to waver from a man to a woman and vise versa, that’s when enough was enough and Youngjae’s insecurities got out of hand. “I know I don‘t have a rack and I don‘t have a big or long hair to tangle your fingers into but damn it! I‘m smart and you should friken go crazy over my brain rather than everything I’m physically lacking.”
“Youngjae…it’s not-”
“I get it okay. I get that my cheeks are puffy and I play too much computer games,” He didn’t know what he was saying anymore or where he was going with a conversation that turned into an explosive bomb of self-doubt, self-loathing and self-derision. But he went on and on as his emotions unconsciously brought tears to his eyes. “I study too much, I look like a troll in the morning because I don‘t know what to do with my hair majority of the time. I also snore like a grizzly bear when I’m super tired and I sound like a pregnant woman giving birth when I’m singing in the shower but Himchan…” He paused in his pursuit of getting to the point of his spiel. “I’m really smart. I‘m so smart.” Jealousy was the root of all evil and Youngjae hated it. He despised how it made him feel but, at the same time, it was somewhat of a relief thinking that at least the overwhelming bout of emotions reminded him he was still so madly in love with the man who took him in his arms.
They may have hid into the nearest alleyway that was conveniently two steps away from them, but the encirclement of a warmth his body provided was enough to tame the frantic beat of his heart. “Your brain is so beautiful…you’re beautiful.”
“You’re just saying that to shut me up.”
Himchan lifted his boyfriend’s gaze with a single index finger tucked under his chin, his smile clearly reflecting in his languishing blue eyes. “No, I’m serious Youngjae.” There was something strange playing over irises that glinted with amusement. Youngjae didn’t know what could possibly make his boyfriend smile when he was on the verge of crying his heart out. But when he did continue on with his train of thought, Youngjae wasn't sure whether to take him seriously or feel embarrassed by the next thing that came out of his mouth. “You make my kokoro go doki doki.”
Kokoro what? Doki who? Did Youngjae hear what he thought he heard or was that really getting to his head? “What does…I-I mean…” Himchan said a lot of weird things in his lifetime but this one really took the cake. “What does that even mean?” Youngjae cracked a smile at the idiocy of a phrase that sounded so retarded, he couldn’t suppress a laugh.
“My heart goes doki doki for you.” He repeated, as if saying it again would make it less embarrasing for Youngjae to hear.
“Himchan stop." The brunette commanded with a laugh. "Just stop it. Don’t you dare say that again.”
“But it’s so y.” He peppered kisses upon his boyfriend's 'puffy' cheeks’. “It’s the iest line on earth JaeJae. My kokoro just goes toki doki toki when I’m around you.” If this was Himchan’s way of serenading Youngjae in Japanese then he was oddly succeeding in the category of all things fluffy and cute. Youngjae’s airy chuckles warmed lips that pecked at his own, the humor in Himchan’s unconventional confessions of love thrumming Youngjae’s heart in ways he couldn’t describe. It was childish and it was probably just another tactic that got him out of a fit of the century, but, despite what Himchan's intentions may be, it was nice to hear the blond express his love for him even if it wasn’t the three exact words Youngjae wanted to hear.
He kissed him nevertheless, Youngjae playfully nibbling at Himchan’s bottom lip with his smile still in tact. “Himchan, I lov-”
Bam!
They separated from one another with astonishing speed when a trash can came crashing into the wall far off from where they stood. The perpetrator of the sudden disturbance collapsed at the other end of the alleyway, the lone figure slumped under his very own cloud of despair.
Daehyun kicked the can once more before he hugged his legs closely to his chest and buried his face into his knees in an attempt to hide from the world. After calling Myu Na’s younger brother and leaving them right after they got into a cab, he noticed that distractions were no longer there. Not a single person or event was present to make him forget what made him feel so angry, so sick and so very irritated with his own self.
“Daehyun.” The sound of Youngjae’s voice snapped him back to reality and lifted his gaze to meet the most troubling look he ever saw on his best friend‘s face. “What’s going on? What happened?”
He couldn’t speak; Or rather, he refused to say a word as he eyed Himchan who quickly took the hint. Not wanting to start up a another spackle after he had repaired the previous one just seconds ago, Himchan unwillingly took his leave a good distance away from them, keeping Youngjae in his sights at all times.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Youngjae said again, kneeling to meet Daehyun’s darting gaze.
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I-I don’t know what I did.” He sounded as if a part of him broke off somewhere and the pieces that were left behind began to scrap at his insides.
It worried him. Seeing him like thist...it had been a long time since he witnessed Daehyun on the brink of despair. “What do you mean?”
Daehyun laughed an unnerving laugh, his head flopping back against the wall to look up at the blackened sky that appeared as empty as the vacancy in his eyes. “I asked Myu Na to go out with me.”
“You what?!”
“I know…I’m breaking my own rules but I just had to ask her out. I had to feel like I can be there for her….to amount to something.”
Youngjae took Daehyun by the shoulders before shaking him as if it would snap him out of the daze that made his explanation difficult to understand. “What do you mean you ‘had to’? Why would you feel inclined to be there for her, let alone amount to something?!”
“I don’t know. I really don‘t know.” Daehyun suddenly bolted to his feet, Youngjae following after the lost soul who aimlessly rushed down the street like he had somewhere to be. “Just forget it okay. I’m going to finish this game and then I’m going home.”
“Daehyun!”
He ran for what felt like miles into every passageway, every road and every shop he laid his eyes on. A location, a destination or even an objective was the least of his worries when his throat was burning from the harsh intake of air that slowed down his pace. “What the hell am I doing?” The bitter inquiry stabbed at the very ego that wanted to send a foot right up his own .
He was acting stupid!
Thinking about what happened in that hotel room where sins festered between the sheets was melodramatic even for him. It wasn’t like he didn’t lay one on a guy before. ‘Youngjae kissed me for christ sakes all those years ago so why the living am I acting like a girl now?!” And it wasn’t just Youngjae. He remembered, way back when life was simple, he landed a legitimate kiss on a boy on his 10th birthday, and that was only because he wanted a taste of the ice cream at the corner of his lips.
He didn’t slither his tongue down his throat like he did with Yongguk.
There was a difference between then and now, and Daehyun sank to the floor with his phone in hand, thinking about the game he was currently in. He knew where Yongguk was at all times. The GPS that was provided for everyone made it easy to locate his partner who seem to have been completing objectives without him.
Daehyun watched the little dot move from one place to another, his eyes roving over the screen without any sort of emotion splaying over his face. ’I don’t get it.’ An empty street, an empty stomach, an empty gaze and an empty heart: there was no way in filling the bottomless abyss that was his muddled thoughts eating away at him. ’Why even try to win this game when there’s nothing to gain?’ Yongguk had everything. ’So why? Why would he waste his time?’
Like before, Daehyun pulled his knees closely to his chest, resting his head with his cheeks pillowed on his folded arms. He watched the dotted representation of Yongguk’s whereabouts on his phone until all was dark and exhaustion sent him into a bittersweet reverie.
There was a smoothness in her voice - a defined quality of a tone that was clearly distinguishable in a crowd, especially when one is exposed to the utmost confidence no other person in the world could measure up to. “You‘ll find someone or so help me god, I‘ll grab a random chick by the hair, make her look you straight in the eyes and let ‘love at first sight‘ come out of nowhere like magic.”
Daehyun shook his head, a smile marring his once disdainful features. “I’m fine alone. It’s better like this anyways. Love is just...stupid. There's no other girl out there who can keep up with me.” The ache in his chest and the undeniable hurt that gripped at the falsity of his claims was the result of a recent breakup that really took its toll on him.
“Want me to…y’know…beat the down to make you feel better?” She offered, picking up a wooden bat she had stolen from the baseball's little league team. “Because I can. I can make her regret messing with you.”
“You are so crazy.” Daehyun stated the obvious with a laugh.
“So what. I’m 'loco' as and I’m proud of it.” She leaned back against the wall of the abandoned building they took shelter in from the rain. She was always known as the lazy girl (a.k.a. snorlax) when personal assignments didn't require her full attention. So it didn't come as a surprise when she started slumping off to the side, her head eventually finding itself supported by Daehyun’s shoulder. “You’re my family and I have to take care of you. That's how things work between you, me and them chinese dudes. I watch your back and you watch mine and we watch theirs'...even in the ed up game called love.” She stated with a smile. “And if that means finding a girl that’ll appreciate what a badass guy you are, then damn it, I’m going to do that. It’ll be ing great. We’ll find some random chick in an arcade and threaten her to go out with you.” She was an angelic beauty, but possessed a mouth of a sailor that threw every potential suitor she attracted off guard. No one could really handle the firecracker that was almost the mirrored image of the man beside her. She said everything that came to mind without restraint, her actions taking on the same recklessness that made her one of the ‘boys’ he vowed to protect until the very end of their days.
“You‘ll find someone though.” If there was one thing that exposed her femininity to the world, it would have to be the motherly concern she bestowed upon those she cared so much about. Much like Daehyun, she was lost. She didn’t know how to fit into a world that was trying to make her conform to the expectations of a society that thrived on their looks alone. “You’ll find that really special someone that’ll make you so ed up from the floor up, it’ll feel like a hangover and a high that you can’t get enough of. And when you do find that special , I’ll be there to see if the 'mofo' gots' what it takes to be yours.”
A radiating warmth, so inviting and soothing by nature, slowly stirred him from the light nap that was carelessly taken in an abandon lot. It was strange though. It was as if he could feel her sitting beside him like she had been all those years ago. Her smile, her voice, the way her presence alone soothed his soul: it was all there resting upon his shoulder as if the hands of time turned back to that single moment in his life where everything felt...perfect.
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the insensitble part of his mind anxious to see her again. Although, when that considerable weight on his shoulder grew heavier by the second, the womanly figure he expected to see transformed into a muscled male who clearly didn't know the meaning of 'personal space'.
Daehyun rolled away from him within seconds time, Yongguk falling to the floor by the sudden lack of support his body provided. “You make touching people without their permission a habit of yours?!” Look but do not, by any means, touch the piece of godly art that was the egotistical Jung Daehyun. It was forbidden, banned for commoners and rich people alike, and esepcially banned to those who went by the name of Bang Yongguk.
“I’m tired.” Yongguk whined, the uncharacteristic complaint taking Daehyun aback.
“You’re what?”
“I’m tired Daehyunnie~”
Oh no he just didn’t! ‘Bang ing Yongguk did not just call me that?!’ Like the touching he did not approve of, calling him by a disgusting pet name that made his skin crawl was illegal on so many levels that would be punishable by death if Daehyun had any say in it. For all it was worth, keeping his thoughts to himself was more than a challenge when Daehyun just wanted to explode and flip every table in arm's reach. But something was wrong. He could see that by the way Yongguk struggled to get off of the floor. “Holy , are you drunk?” First Myu Na and now her brother?
This was going to be a long night.
“You didn’t help Daehyunnie.” Oh god, that name! That vile, repugnant, good for nothing use of a name was really stabbing a spoon right into Daehyun’s heaving chest. He wanted his Demon back. Daehyun prayed for the devil spawn to torture him again because this other side of Yongguk was making him uncomfortable. “You were gone. Poof! Gone. Objective no more.”
The talk of their objectives brought Daehyun’s attention onto the phone that was precariously hanging over the edge of Yongguk’s knee. He took it from him and scrolled to the last objective Yongguk somehow completed without a partner by his side. “You beat two guys at taking shots? Are you kidding me right now? Why didn’t you call me? You should‘ve called me or at least tried to finde me the second the objective required two people.” He reprimanded, clearly pissed off at Yongguk’s recklessness. “I would’ve helped you.”
“But you hate me.” Yongguk frowned, that puppy dog pout of his twitching Daehyun’s brow in aggravation.
“And so what if I hate you? You hate me too so why even state the obvious?” He was acting like a child! Daehyun wasn’t sure if he should dumb himself down on purpose so Yongguk could understand him because, by the looks of it, his retorts were going into one ear and out the other.
“You hate me.” He repeated, leaning back against the wall with his eyes cast in shadow.
Daehyun pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are so irritating.” He had half a mind to leave Yongguk in the empty lot to rot and wallow in his own self-loathing. But they had one more objective to complete. Unlike Yongguk, Dehyun required a partner to accompany him into the hectic streets that was still b with life. It was 2 a.m. and much like the intoxicated state his helpless partner was in, 89% of the partygoers that were still present had to be, if not more, uncoordinated and prone to do something stupid Daehyun didn’t want to face alone, especially if the objective led them back to Homo hill. “C’mon you , we’re leaving.”
“You abuse me with words Daehyunnie.”
“Stop calling me that!”
“Daehyunnie," The drunken male groaned. "You’re yelling too loudly.”
He was loud? Well then, maybe he should yell even louder. “Yah!” He shouted for the whole neighborhood to hear. “I said stop calling me that or I’ll put your in a meat grinder.”
“Abuse!” Yongguk cried. “You abuse me so verbally. It hurts Daehyunnie. It hurts.”
“You know what’s going to hurt more?” Yongguk looked up at him with a genuine spark of curiosity in his eyes. “My foot up your if you don’t shut up.”
“Abuse! Domestic abuse!” In the middle of pulling Yongguk to his feet with an arm draped over his shoulder, the shrilled ring of his phone rang out in the dead of night, Junhong’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hyung!” A strangled voice punctuated through the phone with short, haggard breathes cutting in between the panic that was nearly drowned out by the blarring sound of sirens in the background.
“What’s going on?!”
“The bag. You have to get it.” Before Daehyun could say a word, Junhong spouted numbers that accompanied a street name Daehyun had no other choice but to embed into the forefront of his mind. He didn‘t know what was going on, but he had a hunch that whatever it was, it wasn‘t anything good. “You have to take a picture of what’s inside so we can complete that mission.”
Junhong was running. Daehyun could make out that much by the grunts and groans that came with jumping over obstacles and pushing pass people who were in his way. Jongup was saying something from afar but the jarring commands that could only come from a megaphone distracted Daehyun from determining what had been said.
“Junhong what’s going on?! Who are you running from?”
“The police.” It came out quick, the response sugared with a pinch of amusement as if running from the law was something to boast about. “We’re going to complete our last mission right now.” just hit the fan! Everything that could go wrong went way off the beaten path of salvation the second Junhong called out Jongup's name. The freshman didn’t have the chance to explain himself when asked what such a ed up objective entailed.
A loud, almost disturbing thud resounded in his ear, which followed by a muffled cry of profanities spilling from Junhyong’s snarling lips in a fit of arrogance only a naïve prepubescent teen could be capable of. Daehyun could hear every word of the younger’s rights being read to him in a smug tone that matched the delinquents rowdy behavior. It didn’t take long for the line to go dead seconds later and all Daehyun could do was stare down at his phone in disbelief.
Little did Daehyun know the maknae's last objective required them both to intentionally do something that would get them arrested.
So with that in mind, one could only imagine what awaited the duo who had yet to have their own final objective revealed.
A/N: So, I had so much more written out after this line break but it got super long and it wasn't turning out right so I just decided to post this portion up until I figured out what I want to do in the next chapter TAT DAMN YOU WRITER'S BLOCK...I WANT TO KICK YOU IN THE ARSE RIGHT NOW xD
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