eighteen
A Worth Obsessing Over
Some korean words you should know before reading:
dtal - daughter
umma - mom
Appa - dad
What made the night sky so beautiful?
Was it the promised fulfillments of a wish that came with a falling star? Or the wonders of an endless abyss that contained so much more than meets the eye? To Daehyun, the constellation was overrated. He didn’t care for the shimmering lights, the glistening stars or the gleaming source of illumination nature had to offer. The silvery dust of light simply fell short of its appeal in Daehyun’s shrewd perspective; for his taste laid within the darker side of a universe where the unanswered, the undiscovered and the undisturbed laid in wake of the secrets that had yet to be uncovered.
Footsteps were heard approaching the hood of the car he sat upon, but Daehyun could neither care nor bother himself to look away from the one thing every single person in the world shared. Without a word, Kris silently joined Daehyun in the captivating show mother earth provided, the two marveling over the seemingly unchanging entity of the heavens above.
“I don’t understand myself sometimes.” Daehyun admitted in a whisper, breaking the silence between them.
“Probably explains why no one can predict your next move.” Kris laid back with hands tucked comfortably behind his head. “You should stay that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Stay confused, that way it leaves others guessing.”
Kris never really made sense. He’d go into this philosophical way thinking that, most of the time, it left Daehyun gawking in confusion. “Seriously, do I look like the prodigy of Einstein to you?” The baffled teen fell back upon the hood of Luhan‘s car, his confusions escaping him in a heavy sigh. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at?”
“Sometimes you can be predictable, and that predictability made it easy for me and anyone else who really knew you to act according to what was written all over your face.” He was an open book all those years ago. Like the graffiti sprawled over the walls of their favorite hangout, Daehyun's emotions were shamelessly displayed like a portrait for all the world to see. “Or at least that’s how you were back then.”
“I haven’t changed much.”
“You changed a lot,” Kris insisted. “But it’s not all that bad. In fact, I prefer you like this.”
Daehyun snorted. “Like what? A messed up ball of confusion you’re supposed to be disgusted by with all the ‘gayism’ that’s been going on with me lately?”
He may have transformed into a different man, but there were some things about Daehyun that never changed, and that was his ‘eloquent’ way of speaking. “So you’re finally admitting you’re gay?”
“No.” Daehyun cringed at the accusation, turning his head to look at the collected expression of a man who was still staring up at the sky. “I’m not gay. I’m as straight as straight can be. I’m the epic definition of straight. I’m so straight that no other straight guy can beat just how straight I am. For sakes, straight guys look up to my straightness for inspiration.”
Kris laughed. “Whatever you say Daehyun.”
“What? You don’t believe me?”
“I believe you Daehyun.”
“It’s because you saw me ing the same guy twice, right? That’s why you don’t believe me.”
Kris huffed a sigh, a small smile cracking along his usual mask of solemnity. “I said I believe you Daehyun. How much times do I have to repeat myself for you to believe me?”
“Maybe over 9,000 times! No, wait, lets add another 1,000 to that because I just don’t believe you!” It was fury that bolted him upright, anger that strung between the fluency of French seemingly appropriate for the curses he let slip. Daehyun gripped at his hair, tousling dark tresses like a madman whose disheveled scream of self-contempt faded into the cool night air. “I can’t stand myself sometimes. It’s like one minute I’m pissed off for doing what I did, and then the next minute, whenever that ’s around, it happens all over again.” A never-ending cycle it was, and there was nothing Daehyun could do to stop it. “It’s not my fault. It’s not like I’m asking for it. It’s not like I’m gay. I mean, even in a ed up alternate universe where I‘m bent like a friken boomerang, Bang Yongguk wouldn’t be the first guy I’d .”
“So he’d be the second guy you'd ?”
Daehyun glared at Kris’s rare attempt at poking some fun at him. “He wouldn’t be on the list of guys I’d . He’d be off the list...so ing off the list that his name would fall into hell, burn, and then disintegrate just in case it somehow survives in fire.”
“And this is what I’m talking about when I said, ‘stay confused, that way it keeps people guessing'.”
Daehyun shook his head. “I just don’t get you.”
“You’ll understand when it hits you.”
What was this? Some kind of Jedi mind trick that was supposed to magically solve his problems? “Whatever Kris.” Because if that was the case, he’d rather have a light saber than the psychological bull that was getting him nowhere. “I don’t know how that kind of advice is supposed to help me but I’ll take it. Can’t go wrong with anything that’s free.”
“I guess that goes the same with gay kisses, right?” There was a dramatic pause. “Y‘know, ‘cus it‘s free.”
“God, you‘re so lame. Go back to being Mr. intimidating-as- because the funny guy act is not working for you.” His legs hiked up onto the hood of the car to kick at the humorless Wu Yi Fan. “You don’t point out the reason behind a ‘burn’. It ruins everything.”
“Well then, I guess the same goes for my advice.”
Daehyun wasn’t going to fight with the questionable quality of Kris’s so called ‘advice,’ because after years upon years of having him by his side, Kris had yet to steer him in the wrong direction. For the most part, he trusted him. “Thanks.”
“Strange.” Kris sat up. “I never knew words of appreciation was a part of your vocabulary.” Now that he thought about it, apologies and any form of gratitude didn’t come easy for someone like Daehyun. “Never really thought you’d say thanks for advice you can't understand either.”
“I wasn’t thanking you for your lame advice.” Just as quickly as he had sat upright minutes before his French tirade began, the smile on Daehyun’s face washed away, bringing with it the affable atmosphere that grew cold and frigid like the air that surrounded them. “I was thanking you for giving me another chance. I knew you guys were pissed off at me for a lot of things I did.”
“You can say that again.” Daehyun had expected some form of spite to seep between gritting teeth but, to his surprise, Kris was smiling the softest, most genuine smile he had ever seen before. “You stole money and we got the blame for it. What was supposed to be the consequences of your actions fell on our shoulders. Friendships were broken, our little family was gone and a lot of things changed.” His voice trailed off but somehow regained itself when he turned to capture the other‘s gaze. “You left us behind.”
“I’m a real .” Fingers tightly laced together as the bulk of his guilt shifted Daehyun's eyes to the floor. “If I was you, I wouldn’t have forgave me.”
“But I’m not you,” He stated matter-of-factly. “So you’re lucky I don’t have an ounce of your stupid in me because if that was the case, you would‘ve gotten your beaten to the ground the night you stupidly found your way back here.” To alleviate the tension in the air, Kris took Daehyun by his shoulders and literally shook him out of his forlorn daze. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. Stop moping. The past is in the past so stop kicking yourself in the .”
“But I somehow want to make it up to you guys if I can.”
“You want to make it up to us?” Kris stared at him for a good minute or two, eyes roving over the crest-fallen expression that no man, especially Daehyun, should ever give into. He reached out to him and grabbed at the shimmering piece of metal that was clearly out of place. It was torn off of him, the necklace Myu Na had gifted him placed in his hands with its chain broken in two. “If you want to make it up to us, then follow that guy’s advice and stop living a lie.”
Daehyun didn’t know what shocked him more: The fact that Kris and the others were watching the make-out session from beginning to end, or that he was being pushed toward a decision that wasn‘t for him to decide. What was he thinking anyways? Was Kris really implying he fall victim to Yongguk’s charm?
No, it couldn’t be! That was just crazy because Kris was like Yoda, and any hardcore Star Wars fan knew there was no telling what either of them really meant unless you were some kind of philosophical genius.
There was always an underlying message to everything he said, and as Daehyun looked down at the ring that laid in the palm of his hands, he had to wonder: should he take the chance and decode whatever Kris was trying to say, or stay with the charade that kept him from harms way?
Missed calls, unanswered text messages, and unread emails meant one of two things: Youngjae reverted back to the stone age where he relied on smoke signals to communicate with the outside world, or he was flat out ignoring him. Since Youngjae was asthmatic and would probably die by sending a simple message of hello from the former, Daehyun was sure Youngjae was giving him the silent treatment, which pretty much on the level of ’age’ that brought him pounding on his best friend’s front door.
“Yoo Youngjae!” He called in the most demanding voice he could muster. “I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing. I can hear the…um…what do you call it? Molecules? Or was it atoms?” Daehyun paused in thought. “Anyways, I hear you breathing out those isotopes so open this door or I’m going to use the key you gave me and probably walk in on you ing.” It already happened twice within the years they came to really know each other, so whose to say it won’t happen again. “You and I both know we wouldn’t want that to happen so open this door.”
He may not have heard the converting of oxygen into carbon dioxide through the front door, but the sound of Youngjae’s heavy footsteps was clearly coming towards him in a wave of irritation Daehyun was quick to brace himself for. The door swung open and the first thing Daehyun noticed was the murderous glint in eyes that looked right pass him. “What do you want?”
“Why are you mad at me? I’m the one who should be mad. You’re ignoring me.”
Daehyun wasn’t the smartest kid on the block, but was he so stupid that he’d intentionally add fuel to an already inextinguishable flame? “You ignored me first.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Oh great.” Youngjae threw his hand in the air with a roll of his eyes. “Now you’re lying to me…again!”
Boom!
The door slammed in his face, the force of his fury whipping a gust of wind through Daehyun’s hair. ‘Oh no he just didn’t. He did not just close the door on me.‘ He could remedy the situation by tackling Youngjae’s rage head on. But was it the right thing to do? Would he really chance a fit that would otherwise be easier to walk away from? ‘ this .’
The thing about Daehyun is, he didn’t take rejection too lightly. He hated being ignored, abhorred anyone who talked over him, detested the thought of being stood up and, above all that, he despised having doors mere millimeters from breaking his nose. Youngjae was his best friend for a reason. He was aware of everything that made him tick and to have him intentionally use that knowledge against him only pissed him off.
Daehyun took out his keys, unlocked the door and came barging into his house without an open invitation. “What is going on with you?!”
Youngjae was standing in the hallway with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, back straight, shoulders squared and eyes vehemently trained on Daehyun who swiftly approached him. “I should be asking you the same thing.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You and Yongguk!” If Daehyun wasn’t going to man up and tell him the truth, then Youngjae had to pry it out of him whether he liked it or not. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing!” It was bad enough Yongguk knew where he lived, followed him out in the streets, and patronized him after work. But now he invaded a conversation he‘d do anything to escape from?! Was it too much to ask going one day without seeing, hearing or saying Yongguk‘s name?! “Why are we even talking about him!?”
“Because you’re hiding something from me and we made a promise we would disclose just about every bit of our lives to each other. That’s what being best friends, in your definition, is all about. You’re supposed to trust me.”
“I do trust you.” He laid marked stress on every single word that was immersed in a truth no person, being or creature in the world could falsify. Youngjae, in a sense, was his everything. If it wasn’t for him, Daehyun would probably have ended up being another suicidal statistic rather than a man who turned his life around. “I trust you with my ing life so what the hell is the problem?”
“What’s the problem?“ Youngjae's eyes narrowed, his head disappointingly shaking at the audacity of a question that made him unable to look at the man who was supposed to be there for him. “Did you know my dad‘s been getting on my case because of my grades?” Daehyun was so blindly focused on trying to repair his friendship with Luhan and the others that he hadn‘t been to school to know his own grades, let alone Youngjaes'. “Did you know my grades only because I had to not only cover your shifts at work, but I was forced to get a second job just so I can work overtime on weekends when I‘m supposed to study?” But why? Daehyun didn‘t understand why Youngjae would need the extra money. It didn‘t make sense, and maybe that was only because he wasn’t there to listen to him. “Did you know,” Youngjae looked him straight in the eye. “My dad is losing his job because of budget cuts and the economy that decided his position is no longer worth the money or time to keep him working?”
“Youngjae I -”
“You didn‘t know!” He yelled, the booming sound of his voice shaking Daehyun to the core. “You didn‘t know all of that because you weren‘t there for me! When I needed you, you decided to ignore me and then lie to me when I only ever wanted the truth from you!” Just like Daehyun, Youngjae had trust issues that stemmed off of a broken marriage, a broken home and a broken heart they unfortunately experienced all at once. Daehyun knew better than to pretend he didn’t do anything wrong, especially when his mistakes caused tears to pool in Youngjae’s eyes. “My father’s yelling at me most of the times nowadays, my boyfriend acts like I don’t exist in public and now my best friend is ignoring me and lying to me?” Youngjae buried his hands into his hair, unwilling to believe the pain that sent tears cascading down his face. “You know what? I know exactly what my problem is.” Was it so hard to return the favor? Was it so difficult for Daehyun to be there when he needed him the most?
“You’re my problem.” Three words were all it took to send Youngjae straight into his room and leave behind the wounded remains of a man who finally understood how a simple, yet powerful reply could cut deeper than a knife. He was the kind of guy who didn’t give two s about the people who chose to leave him as if he was an expendable soul unworthy of their time. If people couldn’t fit Daehyun into their lives, than why bother mulling over an existence that was never meant to be by his side?
It wasn’t worth it.
The emotional distress people experienced when others turned their backs on them wasn’t worth going through, and usually, Daehyun would’ve just walked away. If any other person decided his faults, his mistakes and his ed up personality was something that couldn't be dealt with, then Jung Daehyun would’ve said ’ it’ and went on his merry way. But it was Yoo Youngjae he was dealing with. It was his best friend who was cutting away at the strings that kept their friendship together. But what was he thinking really? It was all his fault to begin with. Only Daehyun was to blame for sending Youngjae to seek comfort in the pillow he probably cried into.
He couldn’t lose him like this.
He approached the door, the quiet shuffling of footsteps and the springs of his bed enough of an invitation for Daehyun to step into the room where he found Youngjae covered from head to toe. Youngjae buried himself under layers of blankets, the outline of his body seemingly curled up in a fetal position with a few sniffles here and there escaping from the mound of cotton that overtook his bed.
“Youngjae -”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I just want to go to sleep.” He sharply informed in a scratchy, almost hoarse tone Daehyun only heard whenever the younger went through a session of tears that usually came around an overtly stressful week of finals and exams.
He couldn't coerce a conversation out of him, so Daehyun settled himself on the uncomfortable wooden floor, sitting patiently until Youngjae was ready to talk to him. But as the signs of distress continued with quiet whimpers and weeps sounding beneath the sheets, the undeniable pain in his chest that couldn’t stand the mournful cries that brought tears to his best friend’s eyes pulled Daehyun to his feet.
Youngjae was capable of putting up a fight if someone so much as disturbed him in his current state of mind, but Daehyun was always the risk-taker who would wrestle a bear if it meant he’d have the chance to wipe the tears from his eyes. It was one of those moments, as Youngjae bucked and thrashed in his grasp, did Daehyun knew it wasn’t going to be easy to tame the man who didn’t want to face the reality of a world that tore him up inside. Daehyun had sat at the younger’s bedside, wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s torso whilst trying to pull the covers that he was so adamant in keeping over his head.
“You have to talk to me.” Daehyun pleaded, Youngaje twisting and turning in refusal.
“N-No I don’t. I don’t need to talk to you. I just want to sleep. I want to go to sleep and handle this tomorrow.”
His voice, drenched in the pain, the sorrow, the sadness and the grief that invaded him, never sounded as if there was no hope left in a soul that only ever saw the brighter side to life. He was shattered, broken, and the shakes and tremors that took a hold of his body was as irreparable as the heart that made every word, every syllable and every confession as hallowed out as the empty casing of a man that lost himself to his own despair. Youngjae wasn’t supposed to be this torn up inside , but Daehyun and Youngjae had gone through so much with each other that he felt like the man who took him for granted was the extension of him that always kept him together when life was at its worse.
“Why would you be so stupid to tell me you didn‘t ignore me.” Youngjae asked between sobs once his efforts to escape his restraints died down. “You never answered my calls after everything that happened in Itaewon. You ignored me and you just didn’t show up when I really needed you. So why keep lying to me?”
“I’m sorry.” But a simple apology wasn’t going to cut it this time around. He knew that and Daehyun tightened his hold on him, giving up on the attempt to reveal a face that shed such stormy, scalding heart-wrung tears. “I’m sorry I’m just the tiest thing in your life right now.” It was always like this. One way or another Daehyun never failed in screwing up what could possibly be the best thing that has ever happened to him. “I hurt you and I turned my back on you when you never did. You’re always there for me and I promised that I’d always be there for you but I’ve been breaking a lot of promises left and right and I know it’ll take more than my stupid apologies to fix it.” His face buried into the cottony crook of Youngaje’s shoulder. However, the comfort he thought it would’ve provided didn’t wash away the tension nor dispelled the subtle tremors that racked throughout Youngjae’s body.
“You were always the kind of person to hold grudges even though you say you don’t, you know that right?” Youngjae said not a word of a response. “I mean, I took a pencil from you months into our friendship and accidentally lost it. Yanno’, that special pencil your mother got you from New York.” The man within his grasp shifted just a bit and Daehyun could only curl his fingers into the sheets that covered him. “I didn’t know it meant so much to you and when I told you that I couldn’t find it, you didn’t say anything and you started ignoring me. I didn’t know what was going on but, at the time, I was really scared.” And for Daehyun to admit that would’ve been the most ego-busting confession of his life, but it was something he couldn’t hide. Being this sappy and overly emotional Jung Daehyun he himself could barely recognize was only ever reserved for Youngjae because he earned that side of him. He earned to witness a part of him no one else had the pleasure of seeing.
“I knew I did something really wrong to make you stop talking to me but I just didn’t know what it was and…well…” Knots the size of fists formed at the back of his throat, and the more he heard the quiet sniffles beneath the comforter Daehyun held onto for dear life, the more tears threatened to gather in his eyes. He wasn’t the kind of person who expressed himself through tears, but when he realized just how much emotional torment he put his best friend through, it tore him up inside and the guilt was stabbing away at him as he spoke of a past that hadn’t crossed Youngjae’s mind for a long while. “I never did tell you that I was scared I was going to lose you. I didn’t have anyone. The people I use to call my family had already turned their backs on me and I really only had you in my life, and it was hard. It was so hard to think that I royally screwed up yet another friendship that meant everything to me.” And he was doing it again. He thought he learned to appreciate everything and everyone who changed his life for the better but the situation took a turn for the worst.
He was confused.
He was out of his mind.
He didn’t know what the was going on with his emotions.
And, to make matters worst, his own godforsaken heart was thrumming wildly for reasons he couldn’t explain. “But you weren’t ignoring me….not intentionally at least. That week was just really hard for you and when things got back to normal, I promised myself I wouldn’t do anything to make you hate me.”
Youngjae was a very resilient man despite how sensitive and meek he perceived himself to be. “But I always pushed you. I always did things that really made you pissed off. Thinking about what we’ve gone through together really made me realize how much you endured and sacrificed just to stay by my side and I never thanked you for that. I never once told you how much you mean to me and that you were, and will always be, the solid foundation in my life that keeps me standing. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Youngjae. I‘m sorry for you. Please forgive me. I‘m so, so sorry.” In a way, Youngjae was, as corny as it may sound, his superhero. Daehyun’s father wasn’t there for him, his mother was too busy with work to guide him through life‘s twist and turns, and so that left Youngjae to be the one and only person who saved him from the darkest days of his life and picked him up whenever his own mistakes brought him to the ground.
Youngjae remembered it all.
That day he spoke of was also the day he saw Daehyun cry for what seemed like the first time in his life. Youngjae had been at a lost for the reasons behind what must've brought the rarity of such an emotions to wet the other’s face. But now that the story was coming together, Youngjae could only turn in Daehyun’s hold and see for himself eyes ebbed with tears no other being in the world bore witness to. Daehyun may be a proud man, put up layers upon layers of defenses that came in the metaphorical form of concrete walls; Daehyun cursed up a storm to hide his own insecurities, went through hell and back to make sure he could physically and emotionally protect himself from whatever threats that came his way. But, when it came right down to it, Daehyun was just as fragile, just as vulnerable and just as emotional as a baby rabbit.
“It’s scary sometimes…” Youngjae pulled down the covers from his face and Daehyun adjusted accordingly, resting his head on the subtle rise and fall of his best friend’s chest. “It’s so scary when you, the otherwise cocky and conceited Jung Daehyun act like this.” Tears were wiped away from Daehyun’s eyes before gravity could take a hold of them. “This side of you doesn’t take center stage that often.” As hard as it was to do so, he was smiling, Youngjae sighing as if he couldn’t believe the things that came out of the other’s mouth.
“It’s because you’re sad and I know I ed up big time that I'm like this. I‘m sorry.” Simple answer with an unnecessary use of profanity added right in, yet it sufficed for the time being.
“I’m still mad at you.”
“But I almost cried out tears. Doesn’t that earn me some brownie points?” A minute hadn’t past and already Daehyun was on his way down amusement lane. “Don’t I get the Yoo Youngjae seal of approval?”
“God Daehyun,” Youngjae heaved out a sigh, turning back over on his side to get the male off of him. “You are just too much.”
“I said I’m sorry. Don’t get mad at me again.”
“Again? You have to be forgiven first until an ‘again’ can happen.”
What?! And here he thought he was out of hot water. “What does that mean?”
“It means I’m still mad at you.”
“How mad are you?”
“Really mad.”
“Really mad? As in, ‘You’d watch me get eaten by a zombie while you enjoy a bucket of popcorn’ mad? Or ‘I need to buy you a kitten for you to forgive me‘ mad?”
Picking the ‘zombified’ choice would’ve been a dead given, if it weren’t for the talk of a kitten that almost made him forget how to speak. He sprung to life, sitting up and throwing the covers off of him with eyes widening in disbelief. “Y-You…You got me….Oh my gosh Daehyun don’t even joke with me right now. You got me a kitten?” Youngjae looked out the door, twisting his head left and right in search for said kitten that was nowhere to be seen.
Daehyun gently pulled him by the wrist and led him just outside his front door, his excitement something that couldn't be controlled nor contained. Youngjae was looking down the street and tip-toeing as if his gift was hidden over the fence of his neighbor’s front yard.
“Wait,” Daehyun turned to the over zealous male with a wide grin. “You have to wipe your face first.” In order to stop his fidgeting and persistent search for the unsearchable, Daehyun took a hold of his face, warm and soothing hands molding over the wet planes of his puffy cheeks. “Your kitten can’t see you all teary-eyed.” He said, wiping the remnant of tears from his eyes.
Youngjae pouted. “I wouldn’t be all teary-eyed if you hadn’t made me cry.”
“Oh my god Youngjae, don’t start okay. Just don’t start.” Before another argument began, Daehyun wedged a forefinger and a thumb at the corners of his mouth and whistled toward an alley where an orange head poked around the corner in response. “Daehyun, come here.” Like an obedient dog, the kitten came running into open arms with a purr that drove Youngjae over the edge. He was past the giddy point of now return. The kitten was cute and cuddly, its purrs an adorable yet hypnotic symphony to his ear that it immediately drew Youngjae in. Daehyun placed the kitten in the arms of it’s rightful owner, the animal adapting to the change almost instantly.
“You named him after you?” Youngjae would’ve rolled his eyes in mild indignation of such a fact if the kitten didn’t prove to be a huge distraction.
“Her.” Daehyun corrected. “I named her Daehyun.”
“It’s a girl?”
“Of course. With you being gay and all, I figured you needed a girl in your life you’d actually hug without getting all ‘straight-o-phobic.’ Who knows, maybe you‘ll be able to hug a real girl without getting all scared of their brushing against your chest.’”
Youngjae shot him a glare. “You are so inconsiderate of my feelings. I‘m not even scared of their…erm…chest area.”
“C’mon Youngjae.” Daehyun smiled, wringing an arm around his best friend before resting his chin on his shoulder. “I’m just kidding. Right, Daehyun?” The kitten mewed in response, earning her a pat on the head. “Appa is just joking with Umma.”
“Umma?”
“That’s right.” An intrusive finger playfully poked at said umma’s fluffy cheek. “We’re like a legit family now. You’re the umma, I’m the appa and this is our precious little dtal.” And no one, not even Kim ing Himchan, could change nor get in between the exclusiveness that was Daehyun’s tight-knit family.
Youngjae smiled his small and amused smile. “You are so weird.”
“Why am I weird? I’m awesome as . Admit it! I’m back on your ‘best friend in the whole wide world’ list.”
“You have to be off the list to be back on it.” Which only meant Youngjae had never once considered excluding him from his life, even when Daehyun was being the of the millennium. “Anyways, I’m going to say this now: She is not going to be named Daehyun.”
Daehyun swung his free arm over the younger’s chest and took him into a suffocating embrace, his mouth agape by the absurdity that was Youngjae taking away their baby’s rightful name. “Why not?!”
“First of all, that’s a guy’s name.”
“No it’s not. I declared my name as a uni name the day I was born, so it’s more than appropriate for lil Daehyun Jr. to stay as Daehyun.”
Youngjae ignored him. “Secondly, Himchan would probably get jealous and get on my case for the reasons behind naming my kitten after you.”
Ha! Serves the bastard right. Maybe if he was jealous enough he‘d take it upon himself to tell the world how great, special, loving and caring his boyfriend is. “Good. Let him be jealous. You know I love pissing him off.”
And again, Youngjae swept his words under the rug as he continued. “Lastly, she’s my kitten and I will see to it that she has an appropriate name.” There was no way in getting around it. Youngjae slipped out of his arms and made his way back into the house without giving him the second he needed to come up with a plausible retort.
“Youngjae!” A whiny Daehyun chased after them, his words falling on deaf ears. “Okay, we can name her Daejae. It’s both of our names combine.”
Way to state the obvious. “No. That is not going to happen.”
“Jaehyun?”
“That sounds like a boy’s name.”
“She can be a tomboy.”
“No she will not.”
“If lil’ Daehyun wants to be a tomboy you should let her. Don’t restrict our baby from being the epic Daehyun she is meant to be.”
Why didn’t he take away his keys and lock the front door when he had the chance?! “Oh my god! Shut up Daehyun.”
“Okay, Okay fine. How about DaeDae then? Or maybe Daewon! Oh that’s a good one. She’ll remind me of wontons and my fabulous self combine when you call to her.” They spent the majority of the day trying to choose a name. Daehyun even went the extra mile by slipping in the action that was Junhong and Jongup ing on a chair.
Everything, from the switching of topics to the energetic kitten in Youngjae's arms was a safeguard against the holes of silence that had to be filled by any means necessary. So Daehyun would keep on talking, his motor mouth being put to good use at a time where controlling the flow of the conversation worked to his advantage. Because so long as they kept as far away from the topic of Yongguk as possible, he’d be safe. He wouldn’t have to hurt him anymore.
Daehyun wouldn’t have to lie again and see Youngjae cry over an issue that wasn’t worth his tears.
Colors represented a battle between two schools who cheered, raved, shouted and chanted for their spot in the finals where superiority reigned supreme. Only the best of the best would have their chance to go up against one of the competing schools overseas, and with black and red adorning one side of the Gymnasium, and the combination of Navy blue and silver decorating the other, everyone was sure to expect a game worthy of the front pages of the newspaper Jung Daehyun was personally responsible for.
“You better pay attention to the game, Daehyun.” .
“Of course,” he reassured, waving off Youngjae’s concern. “I’ll make it my personal duty not sleep through the game.”
Even the most slyest ninjas in the world couldn't sneak in a quick cat nap with the booming energy of the crowd all riled up to the point where they couldn’t contain the repetitiveness that was their school chants. “Yo, Dae, you bastard.” And with Luhan and the others taking the empty seats beside him, Daehyun was sure they’d be the caffeinated punch to an otherwise drawled out afternoon. “Why weren’t you answering your phone?” The blond questioned with a fist to his shoulder. “We’ve spent 20 minutes just looking for your .”
“It’s so loud in here. What do you expect?” Daehyun greeted Xiumin, Lay, and a very spirited Tao who was coverd from head to toe in his school's colors. “Yanno," Daehyun amusingly eyed the blue and silver pompom Tao waved about like an enthusiastic cheerleader. "If you haven’t noticed, you all are out of place.” The immaturity of his schoolmates around him were already glaring at the men who clearly belonged to the opposing side of the gymnasium.
“I told Tao to leave his at home but he wouldn’t listen to me. He was whining so much I almost threw one of his Gucci bags at incoming traffic.” Luhan sighed. “But whatever, it doesn’t matter. If these people got a problem with us being here then they better prepare themselves to step outside because I’m not taking any of their today.” Spending his weekened at their school's gymnasium wasn’t on his agenda. Just like Daehyun, Luhan wasn’t much of a sports fanatic nor had the enthusiasm of one to watch a game that involved balls of any kind. Unless it was football - the all American, tackle you down and crash your helmet in another person's face, football- he really didn't give who'd win or lose.
Laughing and looking back at the empty court that would soon be dribbled in sweat, Daehyun caught his partner in crime trying to discreetly slip away from his post. “Youngjae, where are you going?”
“Get something to eat.”
“More like make an excuse to run away from us.” Luhan chided, smirking at the glare he received. “Don’t worry Youngjae. We don’t bite. A friend of Daehyun is a semi-friend of ours.”
‘Semi’ being the word of course.
“Like I said, I’m getting something to eat.” He sharply his heels and made his way to the food stands, not bothering to match the condescending tone in the blonde’s voice.
“Why do you have to be like that Luhan?” Daehyun elbowed the cackling teen beside him.
“What did I do?”
“You know what you did...friken pulling that intimidation crap on him.”
“If he thinks that’s intimidating he better grow a pair because he won’t survive this dog-eat-dog world if he’s all skittish and . You and I personally found that out the hard way.” Luhan leaned back and got himself comfortable before crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “Let’s just say I’m preparing him for the real world.”
“Goddamn Lu,” Daehyun turned and made no effort in concealing the seriousness of the situation that conveyed through grave features. “Don’t mess with him or we are going to have some problems.”
Luhan clucked his tongue. “Are you gay for him too or something?”
“No,” As much as Daehyun wanted to find offense in his inquiry, he didn’t have the energy, the time or the necessary rage to start a fight. “He’s my best friend and I don’t need you starting anything with him.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll be nice, but since we’re on the topic of gay.” Tucking an ankle beneath the bent of his knee, Luhan readjusted in his seat to lean close to the teen he took into a whisper. “Everyone’s been coming out lately. It’s like you infected them with your virus of faggotry.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Just when Luhan opened his mouth to speak, the explanation drowned in the roaring energy of the crowd that hopped to their feet the second music blared throughout the building. The game was minutes from beginning and players came pouring out from opposite corners of the court where a mixture of waves, smiles and fist pumping accommodated the crowd who came out to see them. Whatever Luhan had to say would have to wait until he was done taming a pissed off Myungsoo with the pictures Daehyun took in every angle that would put a big 'ol smile on the editor-in-chief's face.
According to the grape vine of student gossip, there was a new power forward on the opposing team that would give Yongguk a run for his money. No one knew who he was. His strengths and weakness, as well as his identity, were kept from the public for reasons that had yet to be explained. So it was Daehyun’s job to jot down anything that would sell. He weeded out the familiar faces, watched as the two teams departed from their respectable head bows and hand shakes before finally spotting what he came their to report. A man from a distance was standing in the middle of the court and stayed there even when his team made their way toward the sidelines for a last minute group huddle.
The blurred figure Daehyun tried to focus on with his camera’s lens suddenly crossed over into enemy territory where the other team stood. He reached out to Yongguk in particular, saying a few words that worked in pulling him away from the group for a conversation that wasn’t meant for others to overhear. They were focused, an aura of urgency, determination and confidence bolstering in the egos that verbally butted heads with a passivity that masked a wager in the making.
Luhan came up from behind and stood beside Daehyun who was seconds away from identifying the man with a single press of a button. “It was really boring without you around.”
“What do you mean?” Daehyun didn’t receive an answer. Instead, Luhan waited for him to focus in on the new power forward everyone was buzzing about; and when he was able to get a good look at who he was, his jaw slightly dropped in both awe and confusion. “N-No way. Kris?”
“Like I said, it was boring when you left. We had a lot of time on our hands.” Luhan had his car, Lay followed his father’s footsteps and fond over all things technology, Tao focused on perfecting the art of Wushu as well as doing everything he coudl to cater to his Gucci obsession, Xiumin got into music, Chen immersed himself in his studies as well as animals, while Kris 'unofficially' joined the Basketball team. Everything was different and Luhan notice that realization cross Daehyun’s face.
“What is Kris doing?”
“Playing basketball, duh.”
That wasn't what he was asking. “No, not that. I mean, why did he pull Yongguk off to the side? What is he telling him?”
“Again, like I said, your faggotry is really infecting everyone.” Luhan and Daehyun watched a smirk spread over lips that were only trained to do one thing and one thing only: frown and never turn upside down. “Didn’t you think it was strange that we forgave you so easily after all the you put us through?”
“You were going to kick my .”
“Exactly.” But on that fateful night, Kris had walked in on them before a single punch could be thrown. They were pulled off to the side much like Yongguk had, and a conversation began. Kris was a manipulator of words. He knew what to say to get what he wanted and when push came to shove, their perspective of the situaiton and their friendship was set anew after an hour discussion regarding Daehyun’s actions on the day everything was torn apart. “I had every damn intention to watch you bleed but Kris really did everything to convince us it wasn’t really your fault. I understand why you took the money and realized that, even if you were stupid to leave us behind, you’re still family. You’ll always will be a part of our family.”
But Daehyun didn’t understand.
He didn’t tell Kris the reason behind why he took the money that destroyed a friendship that meant everything to him. ‘So what did he tell them?’ Mulling over the past wasn't doing him any good because now he had to focus on the present daey that pitted two alpha males against each other. “Doesn’t explain why Kris is talking to Yongguk.”
Luhan took a firm hold of Daehyun’s shoulder, his words as gripping as the hand that tried to shake some sense into him. “C’mon man, get your head out of your . I’m dense as most of the time, but even I can see what the hell Kris is doing.” As if on cue, Yongguk and Kris turned to look at the man their conversation revolved around. Daehyun felt pinned under their gaze, a disconcerting feeling washing over him almost instantly. “Think Daehyun. Why the hell would Kris forgive you so easily, convince us to take you back and then go through all the trouble to accept playing a basketball game we both know he wouldn't put himself in unless there was something really important he'd get out of it?” Naivety could lock him in a cage, shroud him in darkness and subdue him with chains that would restrict him from a truth he couldn’t accept.
But when Yongguk and Kris returned to their teams and declared a full out war with a chant that filled the gym, Daehyun wasn’t sure if he should be rooting for his own school, or cross over with the hope Kris would come out victorious.
a/n: woot! ch. 18. I'm probably going to cut out the whole basketball scene because I dont' know about basketball xD I'm like luhan and Daehyun, I am not a sports fanatic. The closest I get to a sport related field is when I'm forced to tag along at basketball or football games OTL I"m such a hermit. But yeah~ Yongguk or Kris...who shall win the game of the year? dun. dun. dun. /insert dramatic music here/ lulz I'm such a dork. Oh yeah, and I tried to do some fluff for daejae...does that even count as fluff? wtf is the definition of such a thing lulz /hides under rock/ everything is going good for them tho...for now that is lulz
Anyways, thank you XeunhaeX , UnindentifiedBY, keychen, BrideDeJunpeiMi, Neko-Oppa, Oguu_BABY-SHAWOL, AptonKey, Minimindictator27, britt29able1, JungKookBaby, Derp_Yeollie, UKiss-SHINeeluv, BeautyWitch, BlueberryMuffin, abaoju, AhjummaNR1, roxhan-, renluvsuju, frannnnn_y, luminous_secret, --thetwins, rosierosyrose, moonie, LittleDarkOne, and cuteNayo for the upvotes. x3 Y'all are luv'd
Comments