He had actually gone as far as to give you Chinese homework. You work on it now, looking at his handwriting. It's more of a scrawl, really. It's morning now, about 10 AM, and the sun is shining through the big window in your room. The sunlight is warm and the world feels so perfect at this moment. Even if you were doing homework. 

Not that it really felt like homework. It felt more like a joke, than anything. But you enjoyed doing it for some reason. A "certain person" had used this notebook before, used this very panda pencil before you, had used the eraser that you held in your left hand. That made it all the more special. A smile started to creep up on your face, but you didn't try to stop it.

See, you've already given in.

But it is still kinda scary to say it in your head. It sounds so impossible, like something you try to reach for but is just too short of hand. Your phone, which is right next to you on your desk, rings and you hear your newly downloaded "MAMA" ringtone. It is a bit embarrassing for you to be fangirling like this again, so you keep your phone on vibrate around Tao. 

"Incoming Call from: TAO"

You smile and press the green button. "I'm doing the homework you gave me, what do you want?" You said jokingly. You hear a "tch" from the other end of the line.

"Would you like to go see a movie with me?" He asks you. It's a perfectly innocent question since you told him that you've never seen a Chinese film before, only Chinese variety shows and the like. But even so, your heart starts to race. You take a few seconds to calm down.

"Yeah. Sure. I'd love to." You reply. You're suddenly very nervous. Would you be able to pull off a normal act?

"Do you want to go with the other members? Or just, uh, us?" He seems to say this nervously too. You wonder why he even asks. Who had planned this trip? You tell him either choice is fine and he tells you that, to be honest, Lay and Luhan wanted to see a movie that had just come out. You tell him that's perfectly fine. He sounds relieved and tells you that he'll pay for the movie tickets and that he will come in the evening. Around 6, he says. He apologizes for not being able to hang out with you longer, but they have to rehearse. 

"When did you wake up today?" You ask him.

"Oh..uh...5?" He answers. You feel really worried all of a sudden. You ask him if it's okay to be going out and watching a movie. Maybe he should be sleeping then? But he tells you that it's fine, and that he wants to watch the movie too. 

"Okay...Then I'll see you later..." You feel unsure.  He says goodbye as well and you hang up. 

After you finish the "homework", you make a last minute decision to go get some coffee. You felt you could really use some. And maybe you'd buy one for Tao too. But I don't know what kind he likes... You think to yourself. So you scratch the thought. 

It's not too hard to find the a McDonald's some streets away (you had decided that you didn't care how long the walk was; you missed coffee) and you order an iced coffee. You drink it on your walk back and you take a small detour. It really is such a nice day outside.

6 PM just won't come fast enough, so when you return home, you jump into the wonderful world of the internet. Tumblr and official sites aid you in your never ending search for more EXO news. Their fans, unofficially named "EXOtics", all seem to be wondering about the same thing. When's EXO's comeback? And then you start to wonder too. You remember your old EXO phase and what you seem to be doing now. You've watched all the music videos, and the teasers, and countless interviews and such. But you knew you'd get bored of it all eventually. When would there be something new to obsess over?

For the next few hours or so, you end up sighing multiple times. But the internet worked its magic and you managed to make it to 5 PM just fine. You take a shower. 5: 20PM. You put your hair up, change clothes, brush your teeth (your breath wasn't exactly as fresh as you'd have liked it to be). 5:45PM. 

But the last fifteen minutes seem to stretch on. Your grandmother catches you sitting on the couch in the small family room. "You're quite impatient." She says with a warm smile. You smile back at her.

It's as if he can read your mind. The doorbell rings. It's only 5:52, but you're so relieved he's finally here. You open the door right after the ringing ends and you're about to say hi when you freeze.

"Hi." He says, with another of his shy smiles. His hair is cut and dyed. It's a dark red color, and is even slicked back slightly. It looks really good, in your opinion, and it makes him look insanely cool. You're still in a slight state of shock. "Does it look weird?" He asks you.

"No...no! No it looks....good." You smile too. It's certainly different. He greets your grandparents and you two head out. Outside the apartment building, Lay and Luhan are waiting outside. They also have different hairstyles. Luhan's is bleached a pale, pale blond. It's stunning and he looks adorable. Lay's hair looks a little darker and is cropped in the front. Not as drastic of a change as Tao's or Luhan's, but still new none the less. 

"Luhan, Lay--" You begin to greet them. But Lay interrupts you.

"Yixing. Please, Yixing is fine. Lay is my stage name." He gives you a friendly smile. You smile back.

"Luhan, Yixing," You begin again. "You both got new haircuts too. It looks great!" They start telling you about all the other members' new styles and the talk is nice. The moon is out, but it's not completely dark outside. You walk to the movie theater, with Lay--Yixing--leading the way. You all arrive to the place. It's actually a small movie theater inside a large department store. It's small and nice, with a little snack stand, and another counter that sold toys and the like. There are only two movies playing here. Luhan and Yixing tell you that they want to go buy popcorn. They tell you that the servings are quite large, so they're only going to buy two bags. Tao then says that you and him can share a bag. Your heart beats a little faster when he says that. But all you do is nod encouragingly and they leave to buy it. 

You and Tao are standing around when suddenly someone calls your name. You turn around very quickly to see who it is. You don't know many people in China, who could it be? "Ah!" You cry out in recognition. "Jie fu!"  You say as you see that it is your cousin's new husband.  Just behind him, you see one of your favorite cousins. She takes the hand of her husband, he points at you, she sees you, gasps, and runs up to you. She says your name excitedly and gives you an excited hug. 

"It's so good to see you! Why haven't you visited?" She sounds genuinely happy to have bumped into you.

"I thought you'd be busy with your new house and husband and everything..." You grin at her and shrug. You introduce her and her husband to Tao. He seems very shy now, as he bows slightly and says hello. Your cousin's husband looks at you with a weird look on his face.

"Is this your boyfriend?" He asks you. So that's what that expression was... You think to yourself as you feel your cheeks redden and Tao coughs.

"No. No, Tao's just my friend. No." You sound nervous, even in your ears. Tao laughs rather quietly as he agrees. Why does he sound nervous too?

Your cousin seems to get the hint, though, and she asks what movie you're going to see. Turns out that they're seeing a different movie then you are. She says goodbye as she rushes to catch the movie, which is just about to start. You wave at her with a smile on your face. It was a pleasent surprise to see her. As your cousin walks away, holding hands with her husband, you can hear her ask him "Isn't he from that band, EXO-M?" You chuckle. 

Right then, Luhan and Yixing return with the popcorn. They hand you a bag, and you take it from them. You all walk into the theater. It looks just like any movie theater you'd see at home. Rows and rows of seats in front of a huge screen. 

It turns out to be an action movie that you guys are watching. Luhan's and Yixing's are glued to the screen the entire time, but you can't help but be distracted by the man sittiing next to you. In the darkness of the theater, you embarrassingly take small peeks at Tao. His eyes are also on the screen but they seemed a little less focused than Luhan's or Yixing's. And then he glances at your way and your eyes meet. You quickly turn away, face red, eyes now on the screen as well. But you can't seem to focus on the movie. You look down at your knees, your hands resting on the two elbow rest on the chair. Tao's hands are in his lap. Your eyes go to them as they seem to twitch a little. Then they move a little closer to your hands. And when they're a cenitmeter away from touching yours (you can almost feel a buzzing in the air between your fingertips and his), he moves it away. 

You observe all of this without him noticing you. You risk another peek at him. He's still looking at the screen. You watch the rest of movie restlessly, but it's nearing the end. From what you've seen, which probably isn't much, it was a pretty good movie. When you're walking out of the movie theater, and then out of the department store, and then to the car which arrived to pick all of you up since it's quite dark by now, Luhan and Yixing are excitedly talking about the best parts and some of the more confusing parts as well. 

It's 9PM when the car stops outside your apartment, which if you think about it, is more of a condo than an apartment. You say goodbye to everyone with a smile on your face. You had a lot of fun with them in the lest few hours. They wave back at you and tell you that they'll try to find time to hang out with you more. All of them have happy smiles on, Tao looks a little sad though to be leaving. But you wave until the car is around the corner and then you head upstairs. 

Your grandparents offer you some warm tea when you get inside. You smile and accept it. You're in a good mood. You stay up with them to chat while the TV is on, on some channel that's playing an old rerun of an Chinese drama. 

After washing up, you finally go to bed. Your dreams are of Tao and you know it. And you don't deny it. You don't stop it. You embrace it. You can finally admit it. Something that complicates everything. Something that you didn't want to have happen, but happened anyway. It feels and sounds impossible.

You love Tao.