A week after the mini celebration, Steph doesn’t feel Chris’s presence. He did not text her for a week and he’s just ignoring her in school. Is that because of what happened in the bar? But what happened there to make Chris act like that? That act of him continues until the month before the graduation.

 

*Month of February (A month before graduation)*

 

Steph’s POV

 

I don’t know what happened but I really missed him. I miss his smiles, I miss his text messages, I miss how he cares for me, somehow we're good friends already but not that close, I miss everything about him though. It’s been a month now and next month is already our graduation. Am I ready to tell my feelings for him? I know we're not meant to be but to let him know that I love him is a must. I don't want to end up not telling him what I really feel for him.

After that celebration, Ace dancing at me after he asked me to be his partner, Chris kissing someone. It hurts and I was really surprised. Right now I'm really sad. It feels like I'm stranger to him after all. I hope I didn't really come to that party if it will just end up like this. I closed my eyes thinking hard. I must be ready! At least before we go in our separate ways, I can tell him how much I love him.

 

 

*flashback*

~17th Birthday~

 

I was preparing for school. It was my day. I keep telling to myself. I need to have a good day. To pass my quiz for today is one of the example for it. FIGHTING. I cheered for myself. While on my way to school. I read lots of messages from my classmates and friends. I am really touched and happy. Reading and they kept calling me "Mrs. Jaejoong" KYAH~ so cute and sweet for me. My heart is warmed.

 

All day seems so right. I perfect my 3 quiz. I just can't believe it. It is my birthday. Full of blessings thanks to God. And all my classmates sang 'happy birthday' song to me. Aigooo. Until its our dismissal time. Me and my closed friends gather and meet up in our house to celebrate my birthday. My mother prepared dinner and various foods for today. All my favorite dishes are present. It's mouth watering for all of us. While busy eating and chatting with each other my phone vibrates as we laugh. I excused myself to them and walked in our balcony. He's calling, I wonder why. "Hello." "Hi Steph". I heard his soothing voice. "O~ Hi, uhmm why are you call-" I ask him as my curiosity seeps through my mind. But he stopped me from further asking why. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH!" He blurted out. My ears hurt. How does he know my birthday. Oh that's why he called. I blushed as I process thinking what his reason is for calling me. We texted each other a lot then. Since I got his number from Mary. And we did know each other somehow. Like from our simple name, birthday, and some of our likes and dislikes, & etc. But remembering my birthday is quite different. It makes me happy that I did not even expect from him for knowing, remembering it and greeting me. There's a long pause but I thanked him with all my heart without any feeling and expression except for being happy  with my cheeks blushing.

"Thank you."

 

~18th birthday~

Around 4:30pm I was walking on my way home. I don't want to be late since I need to prepare for my debut. While walking as I clutched on my body bag. I was in a hurry since I came from the house of my auntie to get something there (which is related to my debut/18th birthday) and it's far from my place. I'm glad our class ended around 2pm. While walking, I remembered that I haven't checked my phone since we we're dismissed in class.  There were 18 messages and 18 missed calls. I opened my inbox  and to my surprise the name appeared to be him, Chris. All the 18 messages and missed calls came from him. I was about to text him to ask him about his phone calls and messages. But he's calling again! Out of curiousity, I immediately answered his call. "Hello." As I held my breath and stopped walking. "Steph... Look at the other side of the road." My brows furrows what is he talking about? I turned around as I face the road. While the car is busy passing by I saw a guy. Smiling with a visible dimple. Oh it's him. Chris. I saw him grinning at me. Holding his phone like me and stilll gazing at each other. I felt myself got starstruck and my heart is beating so fast. Very fast like it was about to burst at any moment. And then the stop light turned red. The cars stop passing by. And my breath  stop as he walked closer to me while crossing the road. I stared at him while my cheeks are all red. I just keep on staring at him. His eyes sparkling. He just keep on smiling flashing his beautiful smile with his dimples on the right side of his cheeks. So cute and handsome. Then suddenly he held out a rose. Giving it to me. My heart beats rapidly as I grabbed and smiled back at him.

 

~19 birthday~

It's a regular day at school. I came right on time for our afternoon subject I noticed that the room was vacant. My classmates are not yet in the classroom even the earliest one. I scratch my head. It's odd. Why is it there's no one around? Take note my professor is quite strict on time. I look at the other door there's a paper attached into the window. 'Please proceed to the Auditorium' Ah... I see. What will be our activities? Hmm I wonder. I walked all the way there as I entered the auditorium as I wonder again. "Where's my classmates?" All the seats are empty. I walk further into the stage. The screen is on. At first it was just a blue screen. All of a sudden the blue screen turned into my picture. I gasped. I was surprised. It was my picture smiling and then there are words appeared into it. 'Happy  19th birthday Stephanie Broces' my eyes becomes blurry and I cupped my mouth I was touched. Then suddenly the spotlight opened and there he was on the piano, again it's Chris. I saw him as he picked up his phone. Then he called me as I feel my phone vibrated. "Hell-o" I held my phone tighter while listening to his husky voice. "Hello, Stephanie. Happy Birthday." He look at me and flash his beautiful smile. "Thank you, uhmm did you do all this?" I asked him as I wonder looking at my surroundings. "Are you happy?" He ask me back. "I am. I am ofcourse." I stutter as my tears fell from my eyes. "Are you crying? Don't cry, Steph." I smiled at him and he smiled back at. "I'll hung up, Steph okay and listen to my song for you. I know you love Tohoshinki." My eyes got bigger. Did he. How did he know? I never told him about me being a fan and who's the idol/group that I love. To my surprise he was sitting since I saw him and called me. Beside him there's a piano. A grand piano. He smiled at me while his eyes sparkling. I think he's happy doing all this for me. He faced the piano and sat down, he started to play the piano... The it's 'Begin'...

 

"Nakitai toki wa nakeba iikara

Nee... muriwa shinaide

Namida karetara egaoga hiraku

Hora... mou waratteru

 

Tomadounowa miraiga arukara

Mabushisani makenai...

Yuukiga hoshii

 

Every day and night with you

Chiisana kimino te wo nigirishimerukara

Every day every night everywhere

Tsunagaru kanshokuwo zutto tashikameyou

Ima monogatariwa... Begin

 

Hitomisorae sakenderutsumori

Demo bokuwa sukidayo

Hanareteitemo wakacchiaumono

Sou omoiga areba

 

Kinouni mada sayounara iezuni

Kusugutteru jikan wa

Munashii dakesa

 

Every day and night with you

Samenai binetsudake moteamashinakara

Every day every night everywhere

Futarino kankakuwo motto kasaneyou

Ima kimito bokuwa... Begin

 

Hontouwa boku mo onajidayo

Yoru no yamini obieteru

Demo hitorijanai

 

Every day and night with you

Furueru kimi no te wo nigirishimerukara

Every day every night everywhere

Tsunagaru kanshokuwo

Zutto tashikameyou

Ima monogatari wa... Begin

 

Every day and night with you

Samenai binetsudake moteamashinakara

Every day every night everywhere

Futari no ummei wo sotto kasaneyou

Ima futari dakede... Begin"~

-----

-English Trans-

Micky

It is okay to cry at times when you want to,

Don't be unreasonable.

When a tear dries up, a smile will light up your face.

Look, you are already laughing.

 

Junsu

The future is confusing

But we are not defeated, we desire courage.

 

Jaejoong

Every day and night with you,

I take your hand.

Every day every night everywhere,

Now we feel connected and verified.

Now, let the story begin.

 

Yunho

You turn away to avoid my intentions,

But I like you.

When we are separated, we can share something.

Yes... if we have these feelings.

 

Junsu

I cannot say "goodbye" to yesterday,

The unsteady hours are wasted.

 

JaeJoong

Every day and night with you,

The heat and sparks form without cooling down,

Every day every night everywhere,

Now our contact increases,

Now, you and I begin.

 

Changmin

I am like reality,

(Baby I need your love, need your touch)

(Baby I need your love, need your touch, baby)

In the darkness of the night I am scared,

(You tell me now)

But I'm not alone.

 

JaeJoong

Every day and night with you,

I take your hand.

Every day every night everywhere,

Now we feel connected and verified.

Now, let the story begin.

 

Every day and night with you,

The heat and sparks form without cooling down,

Every day every night everywhere,

Now our contact increases,

Now, you and I begin.

 

He finished the whole song. He even sing while playing the piano. I don't know how to react of what he did. He surprised me... Again I am so happy. He made me happy this much. I wonder how he talked to my professor. He was strict when it comes to his class. I smiled as he walks from the stage towards me. Until he got closer to me he held my left hand and gave me a rose. Just like my 18th birthday. We smiled at each other as he wipes my tears away.

*end of flashback*

“Now, you and I begin.”

-Graduation day-

 

Steph’s POV

After our graduation I was really nervous. This is it I said to myself. I need to tell him the truth before this chance slip away.

“STEPH!” I saw Mary running after me as she held me in my arms. “Are you ready? This is it! You just need to tell him how you really felt about him! He’s in the upper floor of this room. You got to hurry before he’s gone. THIS IS THE CHANCE FOR YOU AND HIM! FIGHTING STEPH!!! YOU CAN DO IT!” Mary throws her fist in the air as I held my chest breathing. Inhale, exhale. I got to do this! I NEED TO TELL HIM. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. NO more backing up! I need to be strong and tell him how I really feel.

Lord this is it! I need to tell him now. This is the last day and my chance to tell him the truth. Of how much I love him. I’ll definitely give my heart to him. Afterall he did for me when my birthday comes. He always gives me a rose. To tell you the truth he’s a mystery to me. You’ll never know what he thinks and feels for you. For me to be exact. I really wanted to know how he felt about me. How he feel towards me. By any chance does he have feelings for me too? Out of 100% is there 0.01% chance? The time that we knew each other. He didn’t really talk to me, about me or what am I to him. But for sure for me he was my everything. I fell in love with him so hard. Our conversation is nothing more about just me about him, what he does, what I do and what’s going on. I take a deep breath and pray to God that He will guide me.

I need Help for me to confess my feelings before it’s too late.

I came closer to him, beside him. He just ignored my presence. His cold aura is still lingering on him. I felt sad it seems like he didn’t even know me or consider me beside him. What am I to him? I want to ask that question so badly.

As the wind blew I look at what he is looking at. “How are you? It’s been a long time since I talked to you.” I smiled and wait for his response. But he just ignored me. Still looking cold. “I’m sorry for what happened before. The competition. I never meant to run away. I’m sorry.” I look down as I tried to hide my tears that was about to fall. “You don’t have to say sorry.” Finally I got a response from him.

I look at him. “Chris, I uhmm I have something to tell you.” This is it I’ll tell him what I feel about him. He stayed silent. “I love you, Chris.” I said while staring on the floor. I can’t look into his eyes. I might cry while confessing. “The first time I saw you, I didn’t know that I will have this kind of feelings for you. I’ve tried to ignore it but as days go by... my love for you is going deeper.” He became stiff and turns his head on the right side thinking. “From all the text messages that we’ve shared, from the things that happened in the competition and from all the surprises that you have made during my birthdays my feelings for you grows. Thinking about all the efforts you’ve made for me, I somehow think that….” He smirk all of a sudden as I look him in the eyes. I can see his dimple and he look at me without any expression at all. His face came nearer to mine. “That I love you?” He stared at me. “I, I…” I stuttered. I don't know why. “Steph, for me all the girls that are around me is nothing.” I just kept on staring at him as I listened to his hurtful words. “You are not an exemption, Steph…” He came closer and caressed my left cheek. “Do you want to know what I feel about you?” I just stared at his eyes. Trying to suppress what I feel as I held my tears, I feel the it will drop any moment by now. “You see. I always play with peoples feelings. I’m not serious with this ‘love’ thing. I don’t believe in what everybody calls ‘love’ for me it was just a game. And you, you are nothing to me. I don’t have any feelings for you.” He look at me as he smiles like it was a good thing to hear. “Look at you and me. We’re different. I’m too good for you. Huh, you see you can’t give me what I want to be my lover. You’re not enough for me. Do you, do you understand that?” He held my arms and look at me straight in my eyes as he grins all happy while I’m breaking inside. I am broken. My heart is broken. As I can’t hold it anymore. Tears started to pour from my eyes. I don’t have anything to say. I thought somehow. Somehow he will like me. But I guess I’m not enough to anyone even to him.

“Chris!” I heard a girl calling him. He looked at me with a blank face.

“Save that tears. I told you already I don’t have any feelings for you. It’s impossible for me to love you.” It’s the last words that he said to me. As I saw him turn his back and walk away. I see him hold the girls hand that called him awhile ago as my tears pour down nonstop looking at him with blurry eyes as he kissed her.

This is the last day that I will be able to see him. Our graduation day. The day that I will move on and forget about him.

 

“All the things he did to me were nothing.”