1

1851

Yongguk entered the ballroom, inhaling the thick smell of cigars and alcohol. He watched as beautiful women in gowns danced gracefully across the dance floor, accompanied by their chivalrous companions. Soft music from the band filled the room, swaying the guests back and forth ever so gently.

 

Yongguk placed his hand on his wife’s lower back, slowly edging her on towards the center of the room. He watched her gasp a little, her chest rising and falling, with sparkling diamonds catching the light. She turned to face him, her dark eyes wide in inquisition.

 

“Come, my dear, we must greet our host.” Yongguk whispered in her ear. He could feel the stares of the other attendee’s burning the side of his face. He smirked lightly, enjoying the attention. It was the only thing that gave him a thrill since his wife had stopped being passionate.

 

He gently pushed Jieun towards the host, a young and impertinent duke named Choi Junhong, hoping to greet him. She moved glacially, not returning any of the emotion that Yongguk was giving her. He could still remember when they had married. They were both young and impulsive, Jieun had been beautiful.

 

Yongguk’s eyes carefully traced Jieun’s long neck, her thin arms, and tiny waist. She still was beautiful, but the spark between them had long since disappeared. Yet, the couple stayed together in an attempt to save whatever was left of their diminishing relationship. Yongguk thought that perhaps the arrival of their first born, Youngjae, had something to do with this sudden decrease in passionate fire that used to devour them. His thoughts continued to swirl in his head as he approached the duke.

 

He was clearly still very young, but his tall demeanor aided in creating an imposing aura to his guests. He had straight blond hair that had been combed neatly so that it fell right above his giant, open eyes. His skin was blemish-free and he had pink lips that were almost constantly graced by a smile.

 

Jieun curtseyed politely, her somber eyes falling flatly on the duke. Yongguk bowed and offered his hand in polite exchange. Junhong firmly grabbed and shook it, smiling.

 

“Mr. Bang, it is quite an honor to receive you here.” Yongguk purred slightly at the duke’s words. He knew that he was almost always a valued guest. His prompt and clear business transactions made him reliable and likeable. His calm and composed demeanor pushed people to trust him and build connections with him. He sold some of the best wine in the country and owned a few magnificent castles that the nobility was dying to get their hands on.

 

Yongguk wasn’t nobility, but Jieun was. She was one of the rare that had survived the terrorizing revolution. The young bourgeois had managed to capture her heart and render other men utterly jealous. It seemed like everything was going right for Yongguk, and to a degree, it was. But Yongguk lacked passion, he lacked adventure. His life was monotone and predictable, and for a moment, Jieun had been his source of excitement and escape, but he soon found out that she, too, was becoming flat and boring.

 

“Lord Choi, I’m flattered to have been invited.” Yongguk responded.

 

“Let’s drop the formalities, shall we? Call me Junhong.” The young duke stated in a rather demanding manner.

 

“Very well, please call me Yongguk.” Yongguk nodded his head. “And this is my wife, Jieun.”

 

“Pleasure.” Jieun smiled weakly. She held her white, gloved hand out to the duke, who kissed it gently.

 

“Can I offer you a drink?” The duke’s large eyes flickered over his guests before beckoning to a nearby servant. Yongguk watched his fingers move lightly through the air even though they were laced with thick gold rings.

 

“A drink would be welcome.” Yongguk nodded and looked over at Jieun. She smiled back at Yongguk before pulling up her tiny white fan and covering her face. He reached up and pulled a dark brown strand of hair from her face, pushing back against her ear. Jieun retracted her body gently, but her eyes flashed with a warning.

 

The servant poured caramel liquid in three glasses. The wait was tantalizingly long. Yongguk was usually exceptional at filling silences, but this time his mouth was dry. It was the first time he was meeting this young duke, and perhaps it was one of the first times the duke was making a public appearance. He was young and inexperienced, Yongguk could tell, but he knew that he couldn’t be too confident in swaying him.

 

“Tell me about your vineyard.” The duke took a long sip of his bitter drink.

 

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. I own fifty-five, actually.” Yongguk pulled out the numbers. He knew that numbers, no matter how insignificant they were, always impressed. Yongguk played well with numbers, using them to his advantage. He could twist them around so that the context would inflate and glorify them. People were always impressed by unchanging and unbiased facts, but Yongguk knew better. Numbers are just as unreliable as people.

 

The golden haired duke cocked his head to the side, Yongguk knew he had captured his attention. Jieun, however, sighed. She knew Yongguk’s speeches, and was anticipating what was going to happen next. The bourgeois wanted to hiss at his wife to keep her body language neutral, but he knew it would look bad in front of the duke, so he let her be.

 

“Sir. Please excuse me, but your father wishes to see you.” A butler walked up behind the duke. “It’s urgent.”

 

Junhong sighed in frustration, his hands curling into a fist.  He tried not to let his disappointment mark his face, however, as he dismissed himself from Yongguk and Jieun.

 

Yongguk turned to face Jieun, unable to hide his annoyance towards her. She didn’t look back at him though, she seemed absorbed by the soft frills on her lacy fan. Yongguk looked up towards the crowd that seemed to have gotten bigger since he arrived. The air was packed with a little bit more heat and the young bourgeois struggled to find his breath. His light eyes scanned the room for refreshments other than alcohol. Although he was an avid fan of alcohol, running more than fifty wineries, he knew very well the dangers that came with it.

 

“Would you like anything, dear?” Yongguk rose to his full height and gestured to the refreshment corner.

 

“No thank you.” Jieun didn’t take her eyes off of her fan.

 

He walked hastily over to the large silver bowl that contained chilled juice of exotic fruits Yongguk had never heard of before. He silently picked up the cold metal spoon and served himself a small crystal flute of the orange liquid. Before making his way back to the duke, he scanned the room looking for ex business associates or customers. His eyes were drawn to a man, whom he had never seen before, wearing a form fitting white suit adorned with gold trim. He was just standing casually, feet shoulder width apart, holding a glass of amber liquor, but Yongguk felt drawn to him. The young man suddenly locked eyes with him, causing Yongguk’s breath to get caught in his throat. He had the most piercing eyes Yongguk had ever seen; they were feline, sly, and of a depthless black color.

 

As soon as the contact was made, however, the man broke it, whipping his head around to face another guest. Shaking his head, the young entrepreneur silently glided back to his seat next to his wife.

 

“I hope the wait wasn’t too long.” Junhong returned, a flustered look contorting his smooth features.

 

“Not at all.” Yongguk smiled, raising his flute to show that he had occupied himself in the duke’s absence. Yongguk knew the young duke must have been nervous, this was perhaps his first audience and his father seemed to be hovering nervously over him. “If you don’t mind me asking, who is that man?” Yongguk faced the strange man he had spotted earlier. Seeing as he was alone, he was either a rich bachelor or a good friend of Junhong’s. Yongguk was hoping for the former; young, rich bachelors were always eager to make their first business deal.

 

“Ah. Mr. Kim? He studies at my father’s university of law. It’s not far from Bordeaux.” Junhong sighed as he looked at Mr. Kim. Yongguk couldn’t read the emotion that was filtering through his large eyes. “They say he’s an excellent student.”

 

“I see. He must be quite good at socializing too.” It was almost an unspoken truth, that if one happened to appear at a gathering, one knew the proper way of behaving amongst his or her peers.

 

“I do not know.” Junhong puffed out his cheeks in perplexion. “Please, invite Mr. Kim to join us.”  He turned to his butler. The butler nodded curtly before taking short strides towards Mr. Kim, gesturing for him to join the duke and his audience.

 

“Good evening.” Mr. Kim’s voice shocked Yongguk. He had expected a smooth, slightly feminine voice, but what he heard was a gruff, sandpaper-like voice. Mr. Kim just kept surprising him. He was liking it a lot, Yongguk thought he had finally found a person with some depth. “My lady.” Mr. Kim inclined his head deeply towards Jieun, slipping her hand into his.

 

Jieun looked at Mr. Kim coldly, her eyes following him as he bent down to kiss her hand. Jieun’s lips were taught with unspoken words as she slowly shimmied her hand out of Mr. Kim’s grip.

 

Mr. Kim simply smiled at her before turning to the duke. “Lord Choi.”

 

Junhong nodded back. “Mr. Kim. This is Mr. Bang. He was interested in you.”

 

Taking his weight off the chair, Yongguk rose to greet the black-haired man. He extended a warm hand, which Mr. Kim gladly shook. Mr. Kim’s hand was soft and slightly damp from sweat. As soon as they made contact, Yongguk could have sworn he felt a slight shock travel through his body, but looking at the unchanged expression on Mr. Kim’s face, he decided he had imagined it.

 

“Mr. Kim, I am suddenly curious, what are your thoughts on my father’s university?” Junhong spoke, breaking Yongguk and Mr. Kim’s concentration on each other. 

 

“It is excellent. There are many opportunities that I take advantage of, including the prized class on American law. It is becoming trendy these days.” Mr. Kim smiled at the duke, but his eyes traveled shyly back to Yongguk.

 

Yongguk didn’t miss Mr. Kim’s wandering eyes. He held his gaze for a moment before Junhong asked another question.

 

“Yes, I have heard quite about American law. Do you plan on going to America?”

 

“Perhaps one day, but I cannot say for sure. Though I’d like to.” The young law student nodded his head graciously.  “Lord Choi, have you ever been to America?”

 

Junhong shook his head slightly. “Never.”

 

Receiving a negative answer, Mr. Kim turned to Yongguk. “Mr. Bang?” His cat-like eyes squared in on him, making his stomach clench with an emotion he couldn’t quite place.

 

“No, Mr. Kim, I haven’t.” Yongguk slowly drew out his sentence, keeping the staring contest alive. “But I suppose, now that we are acquainted, you would take me?” It was a daring move on Yongguk’s part, but he wanted to test the young law student. He observed as Mr. Kim’s mouth hung open a little as his mind raced with answers. It gave Yongguk a moment to observe his other features. He noticed how delicate his milky skin was, smooth and clear. His nose was straight and perfectly angled, as if a sculptor had carved him with great care. Mr. Kim’s sharp cheekbones jutted out and reflected the light perfectly.  Yongguk had never seen a more perfect face. Mr. Kim’s cold beauty was simply breathtaking.

 

“It would be my great pleasure, Mr. Bang.” A hint of contempt dotted Mr. Kim’s voice as his eyes flashed with mischief. His lips curled slightly upward as he brought his teeth forward to bite them.

 

“I’ll count on it.” Yongguk returned Mr. Kim’s flirtatious expression. He lifted his back slowly off of the chair, subconsciously leaning closer towards Mr. Kim.

 

“Mrs. Bang!” Junhong’s servant rushed to Jieun’s side.

 

Yongguk’s attention snapped to his wife. Her head was lolled back over the back of the chair. Her arms dropped over the armrests of the seats. He noticed her lacy white fan on the floor, below her arms that were swinging in the emptiness. “Get the salts!” He roared. She had tied her damned corset too tightly again. He rose and cupped the back of her head, bringing it upright in waiting for the salts.  He ran his fingers through her hair, wiping away sweat from her forehead with his other hand.

 

“Here!” A servant handed Yongguk the salts and he waved his hands over them, hoping they’d hit Jieun.

 

Jieun’s body convulsed violently, her back arched as she regained consciousness with an audible gasp. Her shaking breath was the only sound that filled the room as the band had stopped playing and the dancers had curiously turned to watch her. Her hand was over her heart and she tried to slow her rapid breaths. Jieun looked around, flustered, before standing up. “Please excuse me.” She shoved aside Yongguk’s hand and walked swiftly towards the exit.

 

A silence seemed to the air out of the room and Yongguk found himself holding his breath as a hundred pairs of eyes watched his every move with scrutinizing accuracy.

 

“I’m sorry.” Yongguk bowed deeply to the duke, but Junhong seemed unoffended. He nodded curtly, his eyes wide with understanding. Yongguk stopped to face Mr. Kim. Unable to find his words, he simply ducked his head politely before catching up to his wife.

 

*

Jieun sat on the bed, her fingers working blindly behind her back to untie the corset. A small candle burned on the vanity mirror, softly illuminating Jieun's face.

 

“Jieun.” Yongguk entered their bedroom, his day clothes almost all gone. He sat down on the bed behind her, feeling it dip under his weight.  His fingers reached for her waist, and he felt her small body shudder as a sigh ran through her.

 

“I’m sorry Yongguk.” Her long, slim fingers met Yongguk’s as he tugged gently at the strings to loosen the corset that reminded him more of a torture device than a fashionable garment.

 

“Don’t apologize.” He cooed gently as the satisfying feeling of the ropes loosening overcame him. “Next time, don’t tie it so tightly.”

 

Jieun swallowed thickly. Yongguk undid the last of the corset, slowly slipping it off of his wife’s body. His breath caught in his throat as it revealed a thin quasi-transparent fabric.  Jieun exhaled gently and placed the corset on the floor. Yongguk worked his fingers around her red ribbon. It held her long brown locks in a bun at the base of her neck. With one tug, waves of chestnut hair tumbled down her almost . 

 

“You’re so much more beautiful without all of that.” He murmured as he found his way into the crook of her neck, leaving soft kisses. His arm slowly wrapped her now freed waist and he brought her closer. A soft hum ripped through as she tilted her head to the side, letting Yongguk have better access to her neck and shoulders.

 

But as his lips flirted with her skin he couldn’t help but imagine that it was Mr. Kim’s skin he was tasting. His tongue tickled with the urge to Jieun and make him stop thinking about that man. If he had Jieun’s taste in his mouth he could forget the flirtatious law student. But he didn’t want to.

 

His kissing got more aggressive as he imagined his pitch black eyes staring back at him with that lustful expression. He nibbled and at Jieun’s neck and collarbone, and she moaned in approval, but Yongguk was no longer with her. He craved Mr. Kim’s milky skin. He wanted nothing more than to taste those delightful pink lips and indulge in those sinful eyes. 

 
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VIXsterna #1
Chapter 19: Oh. My. God.
Is this inspired by Madame Bovary?? It felt like it.

But JESUS CHRIST you have NO idea like the first time it was like "the clock was stopped at 6:51, a second more and it would have been 6:52" or whatever and I thought about it like "51... Ahhh that's so... WAIT A SECOND 6 PM IN MILITARY TIME IS 18
1851
18:51
KJFDGLKSDFGKF"
I literally screamed "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT THAT'S SO HORRIBLE BUT SO AMAZING AND PERFECT AND WHO WOULD EVEN THINK TO WRITE THAT"
Some aspects of this were just AMAZING but I mean the Madame Bovary esque ending just made me want to cry because nothing could have ended up well but I still wanted them to work out ;-;
GREAT work. I wanted to sob though everything just fell apart all at once and ughhhh
Please write a story with a happier ending next time? :'D /pleading through the tears
Really, really great story. Like, awesome writing. Like whoa. So much of what you described just felt so right and perfect with the setting, like whoa. Keep writing dude, I'm totally gonna check out your other works.

... Hopefully they have happy endings so I'm left with a smile and not tears ;A;
JiminsDeer
#2
one of the best fanfics that I have ever read!!!
I loved the way you describe everything to the details to their love it really felt real
even though the ending is sad I LOVED this story!!!!
TrinTrin
#3
Chapter 19: OMFG WHAT I THOUGHT I COMMENTED BUT I DIDN'T AHAHAHA, no. Lolwut don't ask me what's wrong 'cause idk, a lot. ANYWAYS XD OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER GAH. IT WAS SO PERFECT AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH AHH TOO MANY EMOTIONS. And I know I'm weird but that ending was freaking immaculate, even though it was damn sad.

BUT OMG YOU FLAWLESS CHILD WHY IS EVERYTHING YOU WRITE SO DAMN BRILLIANT? 'TIS NOT FAIR XD STOP BEING SO MAGNIFICENT!
Canniverse
#4
Chapter 19: This is so beautiful.
And I really mean it, it's so perfect, I love it. The way you describe Yongguk and Himchan's love is just so.. real. I've been crying for the lasts chapters.. Oh gosh, I'm going to subscribe and spy every fanfiction of yours TT
bubblybubbly
#5
Chapter 19: I am speechless
I found this fic at like 3 am and I had to read it all and omg its like 5 am now but im in tear this is so good ;; you're such a talented writer and I'm definitely going to read any otyer fanfics you write
mara17
#6
Chapter 19: i just... can't
okey i'm crying right now and it's not very pleasing but you're story was so good!, it had everythng, i really liked it and the ending was just so sad ;-; anyways i loved it and i'm waiting for more storys from you.
you really are an excellent writter
brownrice
#7
Chapter 19: I know I already sent you a message on tumblr, but again I really loved this fic and despite the fact I am still crying while I type this, I think everything about it was perfect. We always can't get our happy endings, because back during that time especially, it was difficult for people that were gay to be together. I never cry over fics but I've been crying the past 10 minutes almost. It was seriously well written and I felt like I was part of the story :)
waeusolazy #8
Chapter 19: I really enjoyed your writing. The story was realistic, had very good romantic scenes, had plot twists when needed. Yeah tho sad ending, but that's life. Everything was just great. :)
strangeneko
#9
Chapter 19: Oh.My.God. Himchan really dead ? And then yongguk too ? Oh.my.God I'm feeling like read the banghim version of romeojuliet . Ohmygo, this is just.. I can't T-T
Thank you thank you for writing this beautiful angst story author-nim !!
placebo_
#10
Chapter 18: omg okay wow. Didnt see him dying like that at all. I've loved this story so much , seriously. I'll continue to follow your work I swear. I have a question, Is himchan really dead ? Because I think Yongguk's vision was eight and himchan is still alive.