Peter Pan

Part V

                Jiaheng sat on the swing, holding Zitao’s head in his lap. His sweet smile made his heart race. Zitao reached up and his face. He was such a gentle person; he couldn’t believe that this was the same person he had met almost a year ago.

                “Hey, Tinkerbell,” Zitao tugged at his shirt, signaling for him to bend over. He complied, and was met with a kiss. Jiaheng giggled as Zitao’s lips traveled to his neck, down to his collarbone.

                “Zitao, stop!” Jiaheng giggled as he nibbled at his ear. “That tickles!” Zitao nuzzled his neck. Jiaheng turned to him and kissed him passionately.

                Let’s go for a walk,” he suggested, standing up. Jiaheng followed after him, heading into the boat.

                Zitao docked the boat, helping Jiaheng out. He tumbled out, landing on top of him. Jiaheng blushed and scurried off of him.

                “Wow, you really know how to make me feel loved.” He said, rolling his eyes. Jiaheng came back and patted him on the head.

                “Aw, how could anyone resist that face?” he asked. Zitao puffed out his cheeks. “Ha ha, you look like a squirrel.” Jiaheng commented. Zitao frowned.

                “I’m supposed to be cute!” he said defiantly. Jiaheng smiled.

                “Okay, it was a little cute.” Zitao ruffled his hair and lay back down on his lap.

                It had gotten quite late, and the moon had risen. Jiaheng looked up at the night sky. Zitao poked him. Jiaheng looked down.

                “What?” he asked. Zitao pointed up towards the sky.

                “Do you see that?” he asked.

                “The Northern star?” he asked. Zitao nodded.

                “Do you see that second star to the right?” he asked. Jiaheng smiled.

                “Neverland.” Zitao smiled.

                “Well spotted, my Tinkerbell.” He said, winking at him. Jiaheng blushed.

                “Oh, Peter!” they both dissolved into a fit of giggles. Jiaheng Zitao’s head. Zitao looked up at him with tired eyes.

                “Let’s go home, Jiaheng,” he suggested. Jiaheng nodded.

                “Alright, let’s go.”

*****

                The moonlight shone through the trees, making slivers of light cast down upon the ground. Jiaheng held onto Zitao’s hand as he walked up the steps and into the house. Zitao grabbed him by the wrist and whirled him around, pressing him up against the wall.

                But unlike the first time, Jiaheng didn’t wriggle out of fear, but rather excitement. He loved knowing that Zitao wanted only him.

                His lips traveled down his neck to his collarbone, where he started to mark him. Jiaheng wrapped his arms around his neck, nibbling on his ear. Zitao picked him up, and carried him up the stairs to their bedroom.

                He threw him down, stripping off his clothes, as Jiaheng began to rip off his own. They embraced in a passionate kiss, flailing limbs and loosening bed sheets.

                “Ah~ Zitao!” Jiaheng gasped. Tao ran his tongue down his neck, on his lower lip. Jiaheng gripped him tighter as they rocked back and forth.

                As they lay there afterwards, Jiaheng traced circles on Zitao’s chest. Zitao ran his fingers through Jiaheng’s hair, down his face, stopping just above his heart.

                “Zitao, what are you doing?” Jiaheng asked. Zitao smiled.

                “Memorizing you.” He said, taking a deep breath and laying back. Jiaheng rested his head on his chest.

                “I don’t need to memorize you,” Jiaheng said, looking up at him.

                “And why is that?” asked Zitao.

                “Because my love for you is engraved in my heart forever.” He said. Zitao smiled.

                “I love you, my Tinkerbell.”

*****

                It had been some time since that day. Zitao and Jiaheng walked along the garden path. It was the late afternoon, a warm summer breeze blew in, stirring up the trees, a calm hush washing over them. Zitao held his hand as they walked over the tiny bridge above the coy pond. Zitao was slightly thinner now, his face somewhat gaunt.

                Since that time in August, he had lost a lot of weight. His skin had become somewhat yellow because of Jaundice, and he was sick more and more often. As they sat down on the bench, his breathing was labored.

                “Why won’t you go to a doctor?” asked Jiaheng, moving Zitao’s hair out of his face. Zitao shook his head.

                “No, I don’t need them.” He said defiantly. He shivered. No matter how much Jiaheng begged him, he refused to either call or see a doctor. Jiaheng didn’t want to lose him. He had been bedridden for several days due to flu like symptoms. From what he had read in some of the books in the library however, he was suffering from complications of his Cirrhosis.

                “I don’t want to lose you, Zitao. Why won’t you get a transplant?” he asked. Zitao turned to him, his eyes soft.

                “I don’t need it. I don’t want to make a big scene. As soon as I go in, the media will go into a frenzy.” He sighed. “Besides, I went in for a transplant as soon as I found out. There were no matches, and there was no way that they could fly one in at the time, there was no one in the area that would match. So I waited and waited, but they’ve never found one.”

                “Why don’t you try looking again?” he asked.

                “I don’t want to get my hopes up. It’s no use.” He said. “Besides, I’ll only look like a beggar.”

                “Why don’t you stop thinking about everyone else and think about what’s best for you. For us.” Zitao his face.

                “I love you Jiaheng, but I know when I am defeated. I’m not giving up or letting go, I’m embracing the inevitable.” Jiaheng leaned into him.

                “What will I do without you?” he asked. Zitao leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

                “You’ll survive. You’ll forget about me eventually, and you’ll move on. It’s human nature.” Jiaheng shook his head, taking Zitao’s face into his hands and brought him close.

                “I will never forget you. You are my everything. You think I’ll just forget you like that?” he asked. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?” Zitao chuckled. “I would never forget you. You have changed my life, and I never want to go back to the way I used to be, living my life in a box.”

                “It would be better if you did forget me,” he said, patting him on the head.

                “I thought you said that I gave you a reason to live? Where did that will go?” he shrugged. It was true. He wanted to survive. For Jiaheng, but he knew that it was no use. No liver, no hope. He didn’t want to let himself down again. But most of all, he didn’t want to give Jiaheng false hope.  

                “Whatever you choose, I’ll be with you until the end.” Jiaheng held onto his hand. Zitao tightened his grip.

                “I know you will.”

*****

                Jiaheng sat on the bed, wiping Zitao’s brow. He had finally broken his fever. His condition was worsening by the day. He still wouldn’t let him call the doctor or take him to a hospital. This made Jiaheng furious, but he couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t tell him no either. As many vain reasons as Zitao had for not wanting to go to the hospital, he had to accept his decision. Or did he?

                Jiaheng lifted him off the bed and carried him downstairs.

                “Where are we going?” Zitao asked weakly.

                “To the hospital.” Jiaheng answered. Zitao glared at him.

                “I told you I didn’t want to go to a ing hospital!” Jiaheng flicked him in the head.

                “It’s not for you, moron. It’s for me; I just don’t want to leave you here alone.” Zitao was taken aback. Jiaheng seemed perfectly healthy to him, what would he need to go to a doctor for?

                They came into the lobby, and checked in.

                “Would you like a wheelchair for the patient?” asked the nurse.

                “Of course, but he’s not the patient, I am.” He explained. The nurse eyed him warily before fetching a wheelchair for Zitao. They were then taken to an empty examination room and waited for the doctor. Zitao turned to him.

                “What the hell is going on? I thought you were healthy? Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” he asked. Was he going to die too? What was going to happen? The doctor came in a short while later.

                “I’ve looked at your charts, Mr. Li, and it seems that I will need a blood sample before we do any further discussion.” Jiaheng nodded.

                “Blood work? Jiaheng, what’s going on?” he asked. Jiaheng kissed his forehead.

                “I’ll tell you soon, okay baby?” he his face as the doctor took him to another room.

                A little while later, Jiaheng returned with a bandage on his arm.

                “Are you okay? What do we do now?” Zitao asked. Jiaheng smiled at him.

                “We wait.”

*****

                An hour or so passed before the doctor returned with the results. He sat down across from them.

                “Well, Mr. Li, good news. You’re a match. Jiaheng smiled at the doctor. Zitao was confused.

                “Wait, a match for what?” he asked. The doctor turned to him.

                “A match for you. Jiaheng here has the same blood type as you. We can perform the operation necessary to save your life.” Zitao turned to him with wide eyes. He shook his head.

                “Jiaheng, no,” he started. Jiaheng put a finger to his lips.

                “Shhh, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. They’ll just take part of my liver, not the whole thing. And you’ll be okay too.” He said. Zitao was speechless. The doctor turned to them.

                “It’s best to perform the operation as soon as possible,” he looked at the both of them. “We can start immediately, if you wish.” Jiaheng took Zitao’s hand.

                “I’ll be here when you wake up.” Zitao nodded.

                “I’ll be here for you too.” He said, holding his hand. The doctor had them fill out forms and insurance information before he separated them into different rooms. The last thing Zitao remembered was the anesthesiologist telling him to count backwards from 100.

*****

                The sun was glaring in his eyes. Zitao tried to shield them with his arm, but a sharp pain prevented him from doing so. His eyes shot open, and he remembered where he was. He looked over. In the next bed, Jiaheng lay there, eyes open staring at him.

                “That is one of the creepiest things I have ever woken up to,” commented Zitao. Jiaheng giggled.

                “Do you feel better?” he asked. Zitao placed his hand over his stitches. They hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he used to feel. He looked over at Jiaheng and smiled.

                “I feel much better now.” Jiaheng smiled back at him.

                “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.” He said, rolling back onto his back. Zitao laid down as well. He was alive, and he had Jiaheng. He felt on top of the world. There was so much that he wanted to do now. He looked over at Jiaheng.

                “Hey, Tinkerbell,” he called. Jiaheng turned his head.

                “Yes, Peter?” he asked, stifling a giggle.

                “Thank you.” He said, tears welling up in his eyes. Jiaheng smiled back.

                “You’re welcome baby, I love you.” He said.

                “I love you too.”

*****

                The doctor said they had to stay in the hospital for a few days to make sure the transplant took, and to monitor Jiaheng, to make sure that he was adjusting well to a good chunk of his liver being taken out. Jiaheng was fine. He was even taken off the monitoring machines after about twelve hours. Zitao was not so lucky.

                On the second night, Zitao’s blood pressure dropped dangerously low. The nurses came in, rushing to give him medicine to bring it back up. He wasn’t stabilized for forty minutes. When they finally left, he weakly turned his head, and motioned for Jiaheng to come over.

                “Zitao, are you alright?” he asked. Zitao shook his head, too weak to speak. Jiaheng’s tears cascaded down his cheeks. “He said I was a match, I thought everything was going to be alright. I’m sorry, Zitao. This is all my fault.” He said, holding him tightly. Zitao embraced him back. He gripped his face in his hands and gently kissed him. He leaned close, as close as he could get, and managed to whisper,

                “It’s alright, Jiaheng. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Things like this happen, and they happen for a reason. My time has come, and soon, I’ll be gone. But I want you to know, that being with you was the best memory of my life. I will cherish it forever. You are my reason for living. You are my hope, you are my light. My Tinkerbell. I love you, Li Jiaheng.” He kissed his forehead, and lay back down. Jiaheng squeezed his hand. Zitao looked over at him and smiled for the last time. He closed his eyes, and he was gone.

                “I love you, Huang Zitao, I’ll never forget you.” Jiaheng held his hand to his face, and wept.

*****

                Jiaheng sat under the cherry blossom tree, looking up at the stars. He could see the Northern star, and looked two to the right. Neverland. Bitter tears ran down his cheeks.  He lay down and looked over; Zitao’s smiling face looking back at him.

                “Zitao, what are you doing?” Jiaheng asked. Zitao smiled.

                “Memorizing you.” He said, taking a deep breath and laying back. Jiaheng rested his head on his chest.

                “I don’t need to memorize you,” Jiaheng said, looking up at him.

                “And why is that?” asked Zitao.

                “Because my love for you is engraved in my heart forever.” He said. Zitao smiled.

                “I love you, my Tinkerbell.”

THE END.